Of Nightmares and Promises Chapter 1: Juvia
I had a vision of this chapter when I wrote my review for @sweetmemories2606 fic, I Failed. I forgot about it until I started writing Gruvia. Thank you to @unicornbeauty290 for giving her seal that this is good enough to publish.
Word Count: 1.9k
Also on AO3.
Year X792, 6 Months Pre-Avatar
Gray and Juvia had embarked on a mission together in a neighbouring town. Juvia was ecstatic that he had chosen to go only with her. Her ‘love rival’ that was Lucy wasn’t around to interfere with them.
They were walking side-by-side on the streets. It was just the two of them… Juvia was giddy from all the possibilities she imagined with Gray.
“Juvia.”
“Y-yes, Gray-sama?”
“I’ve been meaning to tell you…”
Tell Juvia?
Could this be the moment where he finally confessed his love to Juvia? Is that why he chose to go with her on this mission?
Juvia was hyperventilating in anticipation of his next words.
“…about my father…”
She deflated at the mention of Silver. She still hadn’t reconciled with herself for what she had done.
Maybe Gray realised he couldn’t truly forgive her.
Her gaze dropped in shame.
Because she was looking at the ground, she lost sight of her surroundings and let her guard down.
“Juvia!”
The next thing she knew, Gray abruptly pushed her to the side. She fell to the ground with a thud.
A gunshot rang out in the silent street.
No, that can’t be what Juvia thinks it is…
She turned her head in time to see Gray collapse onto the ground. “Gray-sama!”
Juvia immediately surveyed the buildings and found the sniper – their target – who shot Gray on a rooftop. Enraged, she launched Water Nebula directly at him. Before he had the chance to dodge, her attack struck him and sent him flying in the air.
With the danger wiped out, Juvia hurried to where Gray was lying on the ground. He had been shot in the chest. His eyes were closed, his body unmoving.
There was too much blood…he was losing so much blood… Juvia was quickly losing grip of her sanity.
“No, no, no…this cannot be happening,” her voice broke as she started to sob. His body was a terrifyingly cold and limp in her arms.
Why wouldn’t Gray-sama move?!
Please, just move an inch…
All of a sudden, she felt a presence in the air in front of them. When she lifted her gaze, she was rendered speechless.
“You were supposed to take care of him.”
Silver manifested into being before her very eyes. He spoke the words calmly, his words dripping with disappointment, each one a dagger to her heart.
But they weren’t what shattered her.
It was his next words which sealed her fate.
“And because you failed, he’s gone.”
________________________________________
“Gray-sama!”
Juvia woke up with a start, her chest heaving with her laboured breaths. Her heart pounded against her ribcage. She felt as though there weren’t enough oxygen in the air for her overworked lungs.
“Are you okay, Juvia?!”
Gray burst into the room and rushed to her side instantly. His worried voice pierced through her fog. She regained some of her consciousness.
It is all right, Juvia. It was just a dream.
She forced herself to calm her breathing. In, out. In, out. She mustered a weak smile for him. “Yes, Gray-sama, Juvia is fine,” she assured him, careful not to let her voice break. “Juvia just had a nightmare.”
She didn’t want him to worry over such a small thing. After all, that’s all it was. A nightmare. It wasn’t real. At least, that’s what she repeated to herself. Then why does it feel so real?
Gray frowned, clearly not believing her lie. Juvia snapped out of the leftover emotions from the nightmare as it dawned on her – Gray-sama is worried about Juvia! With hearts in her eyes and a dreamy expression, she clasped her hands together and faced Gray directly.
“Gray-sama,” she said in a flirtatious tone. “Could it be Juvia has a special place in your heart for you check on her this late?”
Flustered by her sudden change in demeanour, Gray immediately withdrew away from her. “You screamed my name in the middle of the night! Who won’t check on you?” he exclaimed, feeling somewhat awkward to be called out on his concern for her.
Returning to his normal self, he straightened and glanced down at her. “Well, seeing how you’re fine now…” he said, his worry still present in his eyes.
Juvia blinked out of her fantasy. She looked down guiltily. “Juvia is sorry to have disturbed you.”
Gray knew she wasn’t completely okay, but he didn’t want to push her. He turned around and raised a hand in a wave. “Good night,” he said nonchalantly.
“Good night.”
With the door shut behind him, Juvia crashed back to earth. She slumped back on her bed with a sigh.
Juvia had another nightmare.
She started having them after she’d killed off Keith the necromancer and thus Silver’s spirit. Initially, they were few and far between, until it gradually progressed to be a common occurrence. Not only did they become frequent, but they also grew more intense. Juvia always woke up feeling drained.
Her nightmares always revolved around the same theme: Juvia wouldn’t make it to Gray in time and Silver would look disappointed at the end.
For all this time, Juvia secretly felt guilty for killing Silver through Keith. She had confessed to Gray to her deed, and was fully prepared to walk of out his life.
Instead, he did the last thing she expected him to – he forgave her and clung to her to stay.
Gray may have forgiven her, but Juvia wasn’t able to forgive herself. Not when she brought sadness to her Gray. If she hadn’t finished off Keith then, Gray wouldn’t have lost his father for the second time.
Gray-sama would have had more time with his father.
Thus, the guilt continued to linger in her heart. It built up to the point where it followed Juvia to her dreams as a constant reminder of the spirit she killed and the promise she made to him. Even in the still of the night, there wasn’t any escape for Juvia from the clutches of her guilt.
It was slowly taking a toll on her, mentally and physically. She began sleeping later in an useless attempt to delay the suffering which awaited her. There was no reprieve.
Juvia had to be careful the next time or Gray would be alerted to her nightmares. The last thing she wanted was to be a cause of worry for Gray and add to his burdens.
When will the nightmares end for Juvia?
As much as she tried to, she couldn’t shake off the ominous feeling in her gut. Juvia feared the nightmares would never stop until they morphed into her reality.
Silver had entrusted Gray to her before he passed. She tearfully promised she would, and she was determined to keep her word. Even if it was the last thing she did, she would protect Gray until her last breath.
With her conviction firmly set, she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Be brave, Juvia. She wouldn’t cower and run – she will face her demons for Gray.
Juvia will never let anyone harm Gray-sama.
______________________________________
Year X792, Alvarez Empire
“Well then, I invite you to kill each other at your leisure.”
In the blink of an eye, they were both chained by Invel’s Ice Lock.
Gray tried to break it, but it was a futile attempt. It would only come off once one of them was down.
This is the last thing Juvia wants, but her body is betraying her. Against her will, she initiated her attacks against Gray.
Gray, too, lost control over his body as he countered her attacks. Even Gray couldn’t resist the power of the Ice Lock.
Why is Juvia hurting Gray-sama?! This cannot be happening! It is not possible! Juvia could never hurt Gray-sama…
She secretly willed Gray to finish her off. No, that must not happen either! Gray-sama would certainly blame himself!
Thus, she decided, there was only one acceptable choice.
She lifted her arm and created a swirl of water above her hand before it sharpened into a blade.
It is all right. Juvia must gather her courage.
She cast one final glance at Gray and smiled fondly at him. “Juvia was truly fortunate to have met someone like you, Gray-sama.”
She stabbed herself in the abdomen.
Gray’s shocked expression stared back at her. “Why…did…you…do…it, too?!” he gritted out.
Juvia’s eyes widened in horror. “No, Gray-sama!”
Merely a few moments after her, Gray had also stabbed himself in the abdomen with an ice sword.
Juvia had been right about the nightmares. The very thing she’d been terrified of was being realised in front of her eyes. Even in the real world, she failed to save Gray.
No, it wasn’t supposed to be like this…
“I don’t want to hurt a friend… No… I don’t want…to hurt you!” he said, his voice filled with anguish. “I wanted…to protect…you…but I…”
“No, you have made Juvia very happy, Gray-sama…” she said with a gentle smile, tears in her eyes.
Their bodies unable to hold out any longer, they collapsed to the frozen ground simultaneously. Within seconds, a pool of blood formed underneath them.
Having served its purpose, the Ice Lock which trapped them together melted into the air.
______________________________________
Everything was black.
Besides her body which was mysteriously illuminated, Juvia couldn’t see anything in the complete darkness.
Where is Juvia? What happened?
She felt bewildered. Juvia had the feeling that she was missing out on an important piece to the puzzle. She couldn’t place her finger on what exactly.
Out of nowhere, she was hit by a sharp pain in her midsection. She fell to the ground in excruciating pain. Along with the terrible sensation, Juvia’s memories slowly filtered back to her.
Gray-sama. Invel. The blizzard, Ice Lock…
She gasped.
Juvia and Gray-sama’s double suicide.
Gray-sama’s life is in danger!
With that realisation, Juvia ignored the immense pain and pushed on. She couldn’t afford to fade out now. She wouldn’t fail this time.
Not when Gray-sama needs Juvia.
She mustered what little strength she had left for one last spell.
Water Make: Blood.
Juvia took precautions in case anything happened to you, Gray-sama. This is a blood transfusion magic Juvia learned in secret.
Juvia lives on within your body, Gray-sama. So there is no need to grieve, for Juvia’s life is yours, Gray-sama.
It broke her heart that she wouldn’t be by his side when he woke up. She wouldn’t have the future she’d long desired with him.
So long as Gray-sama lives, Juvia is happy.
But this is enough for Juvia.
“Juvia.”
She froze in apprehension. It was a voice all too familiar. One she had heard many times in her dreams.
She lifted her head to check, slightly afraid of what she would see.
To her relief, Silver stood before her with a warm fatherly smile on his face.
In her dreams, he always appeared disappointed by her.
For this last time, Juvia was glad to have made him proud and seen him smile at her.
“I was right to have left Gray in your care.”
She felt happy to have heard his words. She wouldn’t be alive anymore in a bit, but she was satisfied. She had no regrets.
“Juvia fulfilled her promise, father.” She smiled contentedly, teetering on the edge of her consciousness.
“Thank you.” The warmth and gratitude in his words caressed her battered heart.
And the world was once again engulfed in total darkness.
