ladybuggf

🌱🐞 slightly clueless and very much sleepy !!!

[ladybuggf]

when i feel pretty i either feel like an old TV with lace draped over it or a lone fruit wrapped in those foam mesh nets depending on the season

[chuwenjie]

We’re cooking on Beyond the Spider-Verse!!! So excited to share these new stills… see you in IMAX on June 18, 2027!! 🕷️

[mollybeenoel]

[ladybuggf]

15 may, 2026.

got my period on the new moon, cycle matching with the moon.

i thought about it for a while and i truly feel honored and in a way loved.

perhaps i'm not doomed to be isolated my whole life since in any case i'm in harmony with the beautiful moon, i will be connected to everything in existence whether i like it or not. i do belong right here.

perhaps i'm not so unlovable and true love exits because in just 20 years i came to be able to love so much. most importantly love and appreciate myself body and soul in such a quietly genuine way.

i needed something like this so bad, thank you universe !!!

[womanguy]

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[ladybuggf]

i pretend to be so happy and try to make everyone feel okay then dont know what to do with myself when i feel blue.

i have the patience for others as well as myself though no one understands my point of view.

if my light dims even for a moment i will be at fault for making it dark for them.

i will deserve punishment: both humiliation and silence. they are disappointed.

i try to be a good clown but in all honesty im the worst there ever has been.

i know people tell me i can't save everyone but i just might if i give myself up.

no one asked me to but its what i must do if i want love.

how can i survive without love?

or the smiling face of another in my sights?

[ladybuggf]

actually i don't know if i matter to any of my friends and the uncertainty is ugly.

none of them wish me happy birthday at 12 am when i do for all of them.

only one texted me "BD", not even happy birthday, at 1:30 AM when i had sent her a paragraph on her birthday.

and in every one of my friendships i overthink these little things because i pay so much attention to them but no one seems to reciprocate the gesture. then i wonder if i'm a lunatic

like it ends up feeling like: i'm your friend... you remember me... right?

and its not only about my birthday or just my current friends. somehow none of my friends have ever really considered how i feel and surely there has to be something wrong me if its just the people changing yet not the problem.

if all of my friendships will inevitably follow in this direction i think i might just run off into the woods and make friends with the trees (only half joking ^^ i love the trees but i could never live in the wilderness)

im just kinda tired of trying really hard for essentially nothing to change. \:

[ladybuggf]

22 April 2026

It's the day before my birthday and its pouring outside. l lost my diary a while ago so i will be writing in this

for now.

I can't believe im turning 20 but in on awfully optimistic sense despite everything. I mean a vast majority of the population is fucked in the head, world "leaders" are only leading us into a shit hole, wars, discrimination, fascist ideologies on the rise, economy getting worse by the day...

"how could it ever be worse?"

Yet how I see it, it can only get So bad before it gets better (and I'm not sure if it can get worse) i want so much to contribute to that change. i will make it.

And my increasing age only means I can be that much more involved, right?

On that note, the rain has stopped now!

[ladybuggf]

happy 20th birthday to me!

[alioopshi]

when the Project Hail Mary movie has Grace having the emotional crashout of the century passed out on the floor with a vodka IV when he realizes he’s completely alone in space and when it has Grace proudly announce that he and Carl are fathers when they figure out how the astrophage reproduce and when it has no greenscreens and real actual sets and an animation-augmented puppet rather than CGI and when it has an absolutely heart wrenching and touching funeral scene for Yao and Ilyukhina with greatly expanded eulogies and when it has Eva sing karaoke and when it shows how physically demanding the forces both inside and outside the ship are on the human body in space and when it has the touchdown pass of the galaxy and when it truly conveys the absolute fear and stress of making first contact particularly when you are just one human stranded so far from home and when it has Grace be able to really show Rocky what Earth is like inside the little environmental simulation orb room and when when it has multiple Rocky POV scenes so the audience can see how Eridians “see” with sound and when it has a gorgeous choral soundtrack and when it has Rocky wear BOTH outfits from the book and when it showed the absolute desperation and despair in Grace’s voice when he tries to run at the end and then gets sedated and put on the Hail Mary against his will and when it has Grace helping Rocky to heal after Rocky gets burned by the oxygenated atmosphere by building him a little heat lamp and when it has Eva see Rocky on the video they sent back to Earth on the beetles and she got Rocky’s little xenonite human sculpture gift and when it has Grace affectionately call the ship “Mary” and the nannybot “Armando” and when it has Grace get to actually visit Rocky’s ship by wearing a xenonite EVA suit and when it has not one but TWO hugs between Grace and Rocky and when it has Eridian voices singing in the outro/credits song and when it has all the emotional range of the book by being so funny and devastating and thrilling and hopeful

art by @saturn-is-sick !

[mishkemous12]

[ladybuggf]

God,

i want to love someone who won't hurt me for once,

i want to love someone who will think about me when i'm not there,

i want to love someone who doesn't only care about me as far as it concerns them but because they love me.

God,

i want to admire someone who will admire me back,

i want to admire someone who won't view themself above me,

i want to admire someone who won't make me feel bad about admiring them.

God,

i want to live without regrets,

i want to live glad,

i want to live.

God,

i want to let someone feel like they deserve all the love in the world but only want mine in the end,

i want to let someone see the real me without being criticized for it but being accepted for it,

i want to let someone know me.

God,

i want my cheeks blushing again,

i want my head spinning again,

i want my throat relaxing again.

God,

is it truly possible? my wishes have never changed so i have always believed that it wasn't the time yet. i know its not an easy thing to find someone who will love me but out of billions one might pop up right? i can't help crying, the tears seem to have their own mind. please send me a dream, please restore my hope, please remind me what i used to believe in again. i miss feeling appreciated, i miss feeling like i mattered, i miss feeling unconditionally loved. even though it wasn't real back then i believed in that love. i promise i will lift my heavy heart, i promise i will stop crying. i'm sorry for asking again.

[ladybuggf]

can you spot the pattern of how all of these characters were hated by their fandoms? what connects them?

[ladybuggf]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr !!! this is so cute ><

[ladybuggf]

i want to conquer the world but not own it,

only become it.

never harshly or obviously.

i want to know every single creature

and know how to approach them not with the intention to approach them.

to have the blessing to witness each flower in bloom

and every tree as a sapling first.

my energy should linger in every single pebble to the highest mountain,

the earth should gently hum with it forevermore.

i dont care what people think of me or each other,

our brains are simply living in overdrive.

i just wish for my soul to have touched theirs momentarily

and hopefully not hurt it.

[ladybuggf]

before stranger things ends i need to mention that jonathan byers has been my favorite since season 1 because he genuinely had so many layers to his character.

then they abandoned his story which would've been fine if they didn't turn him into a prop so nancy's story could progress, just so they could force a love triangle for fan service, and as a comedic relief when he was just coping with his built up trauma.

duffer brothers do have a problem committing though, they constantly introduced new "lovable" characters to kill them off to prevent having to kill the main cast. this is also evident in not being able to let go of stancy due to people loving it.

jonathan would have never tried to compete with steve. to show he's "man enough" or crazily climb ladders to prove nancy he is worthy of being her man... does nobody remember his trauma with his dad forcing him to shoot a bunny to prove himself or no?

i also don't think nancy would have cheated let alone with steve but thats a different story. nancy broke out of her defined character, with steve she's back to square one jockxgood girl and ends up like her parents with a man she doesn't even love WHICH SHE LITERALLY SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT!!! thats such bullshit, as one wise woman once said.

i can only hope the last few episodes do him (and nancy AND steve by getting rid of this stupid fucking love triangle stuff) justice and he doesn't end the way he is right now T_T

the only writing about jonathan i enjoyed this season so far was the scene where steve wanted to go to the hospital to give nancy flowers or something and jonathan -rightfully so- adgued back she wouldve liked them to find her sister instead. his brother was once missing too! he would know whats better for her! i loved that little insinuation (,:

jancy until the very end!!!

[ladybuggf]

Nov 20th, 2025

yesterday was so fun because i hung out with my mama ><

we went shopping; first to a mall and then to IKEA!!! i don't know why but going to ikea always makes me so peaceful

here's me with a giant panda!