Becoming the man I am - Cliche I know..

Daniel, 21, Transgender FTM. Welcome to my transition blog :) 23/06/2017 💉 Main Blog

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11 months on T to compare to previous video of 1 day on T!

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1 day on Testosterone 23rd June 2017.

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10th June 2018 - 50 weeks on Testosterone (11months)

Okay so I want to apologise for not being consistent with my updates.

I just got fixated on work and many other things in the past couple months that made me almost just be down about my progress on T given the length of time I've been on it.. But recently I've had to remind myself to stop comparing, to enjoy it and to also remember it can take up to 5 years for nearly all changes to happen as it is second puberty.

I've also been drained a fair bit from work and feeling like I have constant jet lag from the 5am wake ups..

I've also started the gym 3x a week with 1 of them being with a personal trainer to help with weight training.

Updates:

- I've started weight training at the gym and my chest, arms and shoulders have all broadened more, with the help of T as well its definitely become noticeable now!

- my voice is still changing with being nearly a year on it still seems like it fluctuates to high and low then will suddenly just permanently drop a bit lower and stay lower.

- my facial hair is coming through very noticeable now to the point I'm having to shave it weekly!

- My hips are still quite noticeable. I've not seen any changes to fat redistribution in my opinion, which has given me the most dysphoria now.

- I never really suffered a lot with chest dysphoria until recently where I'm becoming very self conscious of anything I wear shows my binder outlines straight away.. I have received a referral to have top surgery with Dr. P. Kneeshaw. It's scheduled to be approx in 33 weeks time, which from when I received the letter is around December time. So hopefully by this time next year I will of already had top surgery (that is nerve racking to know!)

-I'm getting hairs growing a little on my chest and pretty much everywhere else. Not my back though thankfully!

- however speaking of back, since starting T my back has become quite spotty and so has the rest of my face compared to Pre-T. I've started a skin care regime, which I try to stick at daily but I'm terrible and routines.

- I haven't really noticed mental changes like mood swings or feeling more anger, I don't feel hungry as much as I thought I would and I also haven't experienced feeling warmer on a general basis.

- finally my weight is now 1stone heavier but my measurements have stayed the same around the hips /waist. Most of my increases have gone to arms, chest and shoulders. So weight training has increased my weight but more from muscle growth than fat gain.

I am going to upload some comparison video clips of my voice changes and also some photo comparisons!

Hope you all have a great chilled Sunday and I will hopefully do an update in a week or 2 to mark the 1year on Testosterone! 😀

2 weeks on Testosterone:

11 months on Testosterone:

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12th March 2018 • 37 weeks on Testosterone & 30th March 2018/39 weeks on Testosterone joint post ! 

Hey everyone apologies for the very long delay!

I did do an update last week but it seems it failed to update so I will combine two updates!

• first off last month was eventful (in a good day!);

- I went to see Imagine Dragons live for the 3rd, which as always was absolutely amazing!

- I also received my top surgery referral with Kneeshaw!! - I do need to ring up the secretary after Easter weekend to see what the waiting time will be til my consultation for surgery! 

- I had a week off work! Finally..i went back to uni for a couple days to catch up with some friends and it was really good a lot of people commented on how good my voice sounds. Someone even said it now sounds sexy😂

- finally last month..i went out with a couple work colleagues for some drinks and long story short they now know I'm trans but I didn't choose to tell them. One of them sort of had an inkling (not sure how, but they assured it was pure inkling not something i'd done..i dont mind they know though..but I won't be telling anyone else in the department!

Updates:

- I'm getting more fluffy facial hair now! (Will upload a photo, however I did shave it a few days ago :/ ) - I am also using minoxydil.. I will keep this blog updated with its progress (He says but is terrible at doing updates anyway!).

- my voice is doing really well..i feel more comfortable about talking now!

- I still haven't been misgendered once since starting T, which is amazing! (I will upload as voice comparison video soon as well!)

- I haven't really had any difference in fat redistribution..i haven't noticed much difference in facial shape, hands, feet size etc..body hair isn't really much different I am getting hairier on the legs/thighs but not much elsewhere..i don't mind that too much though xD

- I'm due my blood test in May. I did think it was this month but I'll be intrigued to how my levels are doing!

- One of my mums’ work colleague mentioned they never knew I was transgender and said I looked just how I should...a man...She then went on to say with most Transgender people you can tell they are transgender due to either feminine features for a transgender male or masculine looking features on a transgender woman. I understood what she was trying to get at but I was feeling bit awkward/unsure and a little disappointed in the choice of words for her to just say I look very male for someone born female. Because no matter how someone looks it doesn’t make them any less male or female. You are who you want to be regardless and this is the way more people should interpret it..Not you have to look masculine to be a man.

Other than that work is still going really well on the fact 98% of the team think i am a cismale.

I joined the gym! I joined yesterday in hope it will help with my hips dysphoria and prevent me getting upset or obsessed over weighing myself or calorie counting, as I don’t want to fall back into that habit at all!..

- On a side note..always make sure you check you testosterone is in date as I nearly couldn't have my injection last Friday due to it being out of date!

Hopefully you all have a great day and I will upload the video of my voice soon (hoping today) and some pictures below to document the past month of what I've been up to (transition wise!).

Thanks for reading have a wonderful day,

Daniel xx

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4th March 2018 • 36 weeks/8 months on Testosterone •

So I know it's been 4 weeks since my last update but I didn't have a great couple weeks then last week I was annual leave and basically had non stop plans or sleeping so wasn't really in the mindset to do an update!

Updates:

- I went out with a couple colleagues at work having a couple drinks. I was just updating them of life really and one of them actually said to me is your secret that you were born female (I briefly told them I had data protection problems at work with personal stuff) she said she had a sixth sense about it but nothing I did gave it away as the second colleague was so shocked she had absolutely no idea!!

• they both said they still love me as much as before and nothing would ever change 😄 but I won't be telling other colleagues 😂

• my voice is doing great and I've not had any voice dysphoria!

• my facial hair is also coming along and I'm still getting hairy!

• I am however having quite as bit of hip dysphoria my weight is a little higher than normal but not by much.

• I went back to university last week to catch up with my rugby family and because I wasn't on Testosterone back then I was on the women's team and I don't mind going back to visit now I am on hormones and quite a few of the new team players were so shocked they had no idea I was ftm..

Finally I have received my top surgery referral for Dr Kneeshaw. So I only had the one appt and got given 2 SIGNATURES luckily I didn't have to wait for another appt for the second sigbature. I will hopefully be ringing up kneeshaw's secretary to find out the waiting time list and then it's just a waiting game until the consultant with kneeshaw in Hull!

Here's some latest pictures from the past 7 days and apologies for the close ups of my terrible skin since testosterone my skin isn't great and gets dry so quickly now but just to show to slow facial hair coming along :)

Also enjoy some photos from seeing Imagine Dragons last week! :D

Hope you all have a good start to March! :D

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4th February 2018 • 32 weeks on testosterone

So I'm not really going to do an update post as much today but something happened this week that has impacted on me quite a lot.

- first off the only update in the last couple weeks that I've noticed is my weight is going up and down more than usual but my hips are still in my opinion quite obvious and I am struggling overlooking the weight and the hips again.

- finally at work on friday I got called into my probation meeting by my manager (I have about 5 or 6 in total during the first 6 months of being a permanent employee).

We sat down in an office and he said he received my employment file a couple days ago that HR send to your manager so they have the relevant information they need based on your employment, which should include anything like references, documents I've signed agreeing to the employment etc. (Nothing personal to my life should be included unless it is an important factor to the employment but this is very unlikely it should happen).

He asked how I was settling into work and he said I've taken to the job really well and he has no problems with my job, the work I do and the probation period will be fine as he will have no reason to unemploy me during this period.

Then he opened my file and went on to explain included in the file was my deed poll... and upon seeing it he now knows I'm Transgender.. He said he completely respects it and had no idea I was Transgender and didn't even question it until he saw my deed poll, which outed me being Transgender to him.

He took to the news really well and was very supportive, I also agreed my other manager can be told only to make sure I'm okay and not being bullied or discriminated against.

Now as much as it was nice to have such a supportive boss over this I am completely devastated HR went against data protection and included my deed poll in my employment file, which it had no need or nature to be included in.

Now I'm in a difficult position whether to tell the team or not. My manager said it's my choice and he will respect the choice I make whether I tell them or not.

I'm angry and upset this decision of being stealth at work has been taken away from me and the control of who knows has been taken away from me.

The damage is done now. Both my managers know and I feel like there's bound to be something that will slip up where others will find out. I can't undo the knowledge they now know.

So I have a tough decision to make if I want the team to know or not.

I have a feeling they will be completely fine but now I have that possibility of being treated differently. The potential questions being asked like surgery and what my old name was etc. I don't want them to treat me any different but who knows they might do. This was everything I wanted to avoid.

I will be complaining heavily to the senior management at HR to whoever put my personal and confidential information in that file as a Transgender person I am protected against this happening under the Equality Act and Data Protection Act so to help prevent it happening to others I'm going to complain and won't stop until I am satisfied..

I'm probably the lowest I've ever been since starting Testosterone 7 months ago because of this and to be honest I'm not really low but I'm angry and upset over it, considering I've been constantly happy and pretty much on cloud 9 since starting T this is a negative blow for me for sure..

Anyways I will leave it here and wish you all a good day

Daniel. X

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21st January 2018 • 30 Weeks on Testosterone • 7 Months on T

Over 7 months on Testosterone and I am happy!

I've had me referral sent off and had a confirmation by Dr Kneeshaw's admin it has been received.

- I've noticed I'm getting chest hairs for definite as they're coming in darker now.

- My appetite hasn't really changed much since my dose is every 3 weeks rather than 4.

- I haven't noticed much change with my hops but I have in my upper body and muscle so I've included a photo to show how it is now compared to Pre-T.

- I'm really enjoying getting hairs on the back of my hands :D

- My voice hasn't changed much the past couple weeks at least.

- I do have my injection this Friday though!

- My parents aren't slipping up as much on pronouns now, which is great but me and my Mum's relationship still isn't good so I'm struggling living at home 90% of the time..

- I've been saving to move out and I know it will be a slow process but the savings are coming along so at least I'm inching closer each month to saving to move out.

- My chin fluff is coming through more than I have noticed before!

- I'm just so happy now! I bought some pyjamas ready for surgery as they were on sale and button down ones so why not!

- I am getting quite nervous for it now especially I'd I'll still be living at home I'm not sure if it will be as bad to deal with, easier or worse being at home in an environment that I don't deal well with generally.

- I'm also contemplating a lot to tell people at work about me being Transgender but I'm also very tied up in the fact I really like how they treat me and there's no funny looks or questions or anything that I had at uni where everyone knew!

That's all the updates for now! Hope you all have a great week and a good start to the new year!

Daniel xx

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9th January 2018 • 7 months on Testosterone comparison! •

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31st December 2017 •

Without a doubt 2017 has had its ups for me, which have outweighed the lows, and as you all know I started testosterone this year, which has only just started but it will only get better from here with the continuing changes and surgery to look forward to hopefully this year.

This post is me reflecting on the past 12 months and how kuch I’ve achieved and done..I’ve helped out a lot with the LGBT+ network at my university including helping to set up and co-run the Transgender and Non-binary support group, introducing a new student card scheme to allow people to have their preferred name and gender on their student card whether or not it’s been changed legally and also went on to represent my university as the Transgender delegate at the Trans+ NUS national conference here in the UK.

I also joined the rugby team, which meant I became the first Transgender student to join a BUCS contact sport at my university and to then go on to compete with them during varsity was a huge achievement!

I feel like my life is only just truly begun now being on Testosterone and finally having a full time job. I’m looking forward to moving out hopefully this year to see what will happen regarding physical changes and how surgery will go for me.

2018 is going to be better and happier, a year I am really looking forward to! Happy New Year to all my followers! ❤❤

I hope it will be a positive and kind year to you all ❤

Daniel xx

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6 months on T voice!

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27th December 2017 • 26 weeks on Testosterone • 6 months on T •

So I seem to be getting lazy with these updates..i am going to try get back into a routine but with it being Christmas and December in general with the time I wake up most mornings I'm normally tired quite often so that's probably why...joy of being an adult 😂

Updates:

• I'm still waiting for my blood test results in a letter form so I can understand it better as the person on the phone had no idea what results to give me and read out so many random numbers I got lost myself over which number was which.

• I had my first surgery talk at Charing Cross GIC 18th December...they normally require 2 signatures before sending off the referral. And that would mean waiting another 9/10 months for the next appt to get the 2nd signature..However the consultant I saw was happy enough to get a signature from someone who has already seen me, which means my referral for top surgery has now been sent off to Dr. KNEESHAW! I will however ring up the GIC to get confirmation of the referral being sent to kneeshaw team.

• I'm happier with the depth of my voice again I'm not being misgendered anymore since I've started T. I also haven't been misgendered on the phone either! Which makes me happy 😄

• I went shopping yesterday and someone working in the clothes shop almost walked into and said to her colleague watch out for this la.. (sounded like she was going to say lady)...but took a double take and went ooh sorry lad didn't meant to walk into you..nornally this would upset me but the fact she corrected herself once she looked at me and I hadn't even spoken did make me feel better.

• I am getting chest hairs! Another hairy update there for you.

• my weight is still maintaining but I still feel like I have big hips so that's been my main dysphoria lately.

• my face is fuzzier feeling but also me skin is becoming more oily and dry.

• I've also noticed I'm getting quite spotty on my back.

• Finally this will be the last point and most of the updates are me just repeating myself from over the past weeks.

Finally. I have been feeling quite distant from my parents. My Mum more than my Dad...they still misgender me now and then and recently my Mum has been saying my old name and even said that dad was the only male in the house..every time she has done anything like misgender or my old name she doesn't realise she has said it until after a pause and then corrects herself but I hate hearing it and usually I give them the benefit of the doubt they are still getting used to it all but it's coming to nearly 4.5 years of being out and nearly 2 years of legally changing my name to Daniel. So I'm getting to the point I'm not happy or being lenient over it anymore..my dad is really trying though, it's just my Mum. And the way she does it and goes about it makes me constantly think we will never make a breakthrough where she will say Dan and he/him, son without having to think and force out the words first. I'm not hating them for it as I am really lucky they are accepting me and happy for me to live as Daniel but it's just hard to hear quite so often..

Anyways enough of the updates and waffling on for today. Thank you so much for listening (reading). Hope you've all had a great Christmas and may 2018 be a happy and positive year for you all! Xx

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10th December 2017 • 24 weeks on Testosterone •

So again I missed a week out! Apologies but here is my next update!

Updates:

• I've been told my facial shape changed a lot it's much more square.

• I haven't got much facial hair that's obvious but I can feel more are sprouting that are darker and not blonde. I will try find a way to show it with my camera quality I do find it hard to capture it when taking the picture myself lol

• my voice is lower again after it had gone higher and its at a stage I'm comfortable with again :) (I will post a voice update today)

• I'm not noticing considerable amounts of body hair growth i.e stomach, hands, arms. But it is happening as I can see only slight changes to the hairyness of my hands and arms xD

• I have noticed I am getting small amounts and blonde/dark hairs coming through on my chest a bit but not much. I'm not sure how I feel about it as I haven't had top surgery yet but it's not too much that it's obvious so I guess for now I'm not too fazed by it.

• my spots are definitely a thing now so I've found a tea-tree daily facial scrub and it seems to be helping!

• body heat! I now understand the considerable amounts of body heat that fellow guys on T endure and its ridiculous I'm at work most days with the fan on when I've got triage nurses in jumpers and scarves!

• my weight still hasn't changed at all even after my dosage has been changed and I still eat enough in a day to feed a family of 4 xD I'm constantly hungry and have constant cravings for chocolate and biscuits

• I haven't had my blood test results back but when I rang up she did mention my peak was 27 I think? I think it was the peak level she told me anyway and I know it was the one that's supposed to be between 25-30 I think? A lot of guessing here but I will double check and get proper confirmation when I get the results back in a letter.

• finally last update of today..T-peen..the nether regions. The southern side..basically My bottom growth has grown considerable size that it is now noticeable to me more than before and its uncomfortable when sitting and walking! At least 1.5-2 inches in growth..

Anyways that's all the updates I have for today!

Have a picture of the view I woke up to which isn't often in the UK! And a picture of me exhausted at work lol.

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25th November 2017 • 22 weeks on Testosterone • 5 Months 2 days.

So I missed last week's update purely because I had a blood test and injection yesterday and also I was on lates all last week so I usually don't feel like being social when on lates 😂 and that includes updates unfortunately..

Updates:

• I am hairy! I've noticed I'm more hairy on my legs, thighs, hands! And I feel more rough from hairs on my face.

• my skin seems to be more oily now I've moved from 4 weekly injections to 3 weekly. I wash my face every morning and night and exfoliate every few days but I'm still oily! And it's not helping my spots so I'm looking into a bar of soap that will help to exfoliate like a charcoal soap bar etc.

If any of you have good remedies for getting less oily and clearer skin please let me know! :)

• just an update here I haven't had a shark week for nearly 3 months now!

• my body heat has increased I'm always warm and needing a fan on at work and at home I'm always warm but for some reason yesterday I was very cold all day!

• personal note here...so as always the awkward mention here about the things that change on T that not everyone likes to mention...the peen...nether regions..the micro penis lol..just an update with 5 months being on Testosterone...it has grown more and is uncomfortable ! Especially against the boxers!

• I personally don't think my voice has changed but I do feel more conscious it's higher than it used to be but I haven't been misgendered at all since starting hormones so hopefully it's lower than I actually think!

• my hips are slightly redistributing again I couldn't tell personally but I asked someone who sees me very regularly if they looked different and they said for definite there is a difference.

• me chesticles as I like to call them have significantly gotten smaller and my muscles in my chest do seem to be becoming more noticeable. (I will put a picture up today to how my body looks now)

• At work I am now a permanent member of staff!! I had my interview last Friday 17th November 2017. It went so amazing! They said it was the best interview they had done in years and I got a perfect score of 36 out of 36. I work for the NHS and most of the interviews they conduct are based on a total the candidate scores in their interview based on their performance.

Some people at work asked to see my times at uni and I showed them a picture taken in February this year and they said I look so different and not even similar so I'm hoping that means my facial shape is changing and just my look in general!

Anyways that's all the updates I can think of for now. As I mentioned earlier I had my injection and blood test yesterday. My next blood test will be in a week and my next injection will by on 15th December.

Thank you for listening! (Reading)

Daniel 😊

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20 weeks on Testosterone

This week I had my injection done by a nurse I haven't had before. She was lovely and did the injection quickly and kept the Sustanon warm for me so it didn't hurt when she injected it. But nearly a week after having it it's still sore and feels like a small hard ball shaped lump where I had the injection. I've not had this before but I have heard of quite a few people getting it so I'm not worried about it I've just been putting heat packs on it to help it go down.

I also have my job interview Friday. I've never been nervous for interviews before until this one! So I'm hoping it will go okay 🙈

Updates:

• I've been getting quite spotty again on my face and also started to get some on my back.

• my throat has been scratchy and sore this week. It has also gone as bit deeper again! :D

• I've noticed I'm getting hairs on the back of my hands that are slightly darker and today I had the realisation I am going to get hairy and I actually don't mind that anymore!

• My weight hasn't really fluctuated too much. I was worried it would increase a lot now my dosage is more frequent but it's still early days and I just keep telling myself if it does increase a lot as long as you feel happy with how you look then the scales don't matter!

• I haven't really been sweating much different to when I was Pre testosterone, which I'm surprised about considering a lot of people I know have had increased sweat and body heat since starting testosterone!

• My face is fuzzy to the point now when I run my hand over it it does that rough scratchy sound! :D I did try to make the hairs darker to show you guys but my attempts failed 😂 I will try again at some point to see if I can show you the progress.

• I'm feeling hungry all the time or not at all so I'm seesaw'ing between hunger and feeling full all day which is a bit annoying when at work having to make sure I have enough food with me and some days I won't eat any of my food lol.

• I did think my muscle mass decreased visually but recently I'm happy with how my muscles look again which either means I have gained a bit of definition again or I just assumed I lost muscle mass before and had a grump week with how I looked.

I am still struggling being at home where I get misgendered by accident but it's still happening and my mom was telling me about someone she saw in town yesterday and they asked how (old name) is, my mom responded as to this person is if (old name) was still my name now and hearing my mom say it did make my cringe a bit I really hate hearing my old name but at work someone has the same name as my old name and I don't get weird hearing it or even associate with it. So it's a very hit and miss moment lately with pronouns and hearing my old name.

My next injection will also be when I have my blood tests done so I will let you know how that goes and hopefully the results come back better than the last time now I'm on sustanon every 3 weeks!

That's all the updates for now !

Thank you for listening (reading) sending my love to you all for following my journey so far and listening to me go on about randomness non stop. If ever you have any questions feel free to message me! 😊

Have a picture of me with my child 😂 my dog means a lot to me so I feel like you all should see him! He is normally better at looking at the camera but he was fixated on a toy of his on the floor !

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5th November 2017. 19 weeks on Testosterone.

I just realised I totally forgot to do the 18 weeks update! I was working last Saturday so basically did nothing on Sunday and relaxed all day then have been working Monday to Friday so again completely forgot because of work 😂

I must admit this week at work was probably my hardest week..not sure why it wasn't any different I think I just felt more pressure this week because I had some negativity all at once one morning and it just got to me more than usual. But I don't take too long to bounce back up from it so the end of the week was good and this weekend has also been really good!

Updates:

• To be honest I don't really have much updates as things have really slowed down or I'm just not noticing it anymore. Since my last injection nearly 3 weeks ago my voice has lowered again as it did go slightly higher before my injection but I do feel it's still not as low as it has been before.

• still stealth at work! - until someone from work finds this blog but don't think that would happen to be honest 😂

• I applied for a more permanent and higher paid role within my department basically to do the same job but it will be permanent and higher pay in the long run of things.

- I do have a dilemma though I got offered to the next process in a job I applied to in August which is about £8 grand higher pay but I'm unsure if I want to go for a job with higher pay but uncertain I'll like it or the employees or the hours etc. Or to stay in a job I love and with the people I've really settled in well with but on a lower pay and who knows maybe it will open up opportunities to go through promotional stages in the future to where I may eventually get a higher pay. A lot of decisions to be made ..

• my hair is falling out! Okay so that was probably an extreme way of saying it but I am losing hair quite a lot so clearly receding is upon me but as long as I don't get a bold patch on the top of my head I'll accept the fate of having less hair on my head and hopefully more on my face because I am on a beard quest one day! 😄😂

• finally I have my injection on Tuesday as I now have my injections wlevery 3 weeks instead of 4 weeks and also I received a letter yesterday that the Dr. Has booked me in for an appt this Friday and I'm not sure what about because normally with blood test results they just call me to say they are fine or like the last time they rang and said it's a little low so I've sent it off to your endocrinologist for a second opinion on what to do that's best for your treatment...im not nervous I'm just very curious to what it could be because personally if it's just to discuss my results that I already know about and have been spoken to about I will find this appt to be a waste of time but we will have to wait and find out!

Anyways this is a quiet week in regards to physical updates with my transition. I should probably add that I am so much happier I haven't felt any negative feelings or low moods or any bad mental health since starting Testosterone which I am so thankful for. Who knew an ampoule of juice in the butt every 3 weeks would make me so much happier in life!

I am still a bit impatient for my voice to go even lower if it does and also for facial hair to grow in more but I am also quite patient so it's a mixed feeling xD

I can't wait for my hips to redistribute more hopefully and finally my weight just confuses me I am now 9st13.5lbs which I haven't been in years! And my diet literally consists of no more calorie counting but constant chocolate eating and biscuits so who knows what's happening lol.

Anyways hope you all have a good relaxing Sunday enjoy fireworks and bonfires if you're into bonfire night 5th November! Thank you for listening (reading) and speak to you all soon!

Daniel x😊

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As promised a voice comparison from 1 day to 9 weeks to 17 weeks on Testosterone ! 22/10/2017

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Sunday 22nd October - 17 weeks on Testosterone.

So I think I've decided to do updates on Saturdays or Sundays depends if I'm busy on the Saturday then updates will be done sundays!

This is mainly because I get up at 5.15am and work 7am-3pm Monday to Friday and I like to relax in the afternoons when I finish which when I relax I forget to do anything especially these updates 😂

Updates;

• I got my letter finally! The GIC endocrinologist confirmed my trough levels are low. His words to be exact "I note that the trough testosterone level was low at 5.6. This compares to our target 8-12nMol/L. I would recommend Daniel decreases the interval between Sustanon injections by one week. This will change from 4 weeks to 3 weeks between injections that is important"

I kept saying the past 2 months at least I felt my levels weren't right and my blood results proved that so I'm guessing you really can trust your body instincts!

• my voice is lowering back to how it was a couple weeks back which means to me personally it's more comfortable and reassuring for me to talk again especially in public as before there was a worry it might be too high to pass but that was just how my voice made me feel personally. It probably wasn't that high but compared to what it was prior to my levels dropping low in the last week before the injection it definitely felt and sounded high!

• I feel like the chin peach fuzz is getting more fuzzy and I'm debating on darkening them with some mascara or something (mom won't mind me borrowing that purely for transition reasons😂) so I can hopefully show a picture of how much fuzz is actually coming through now!

• my weight has been crazy I just don't understand it! Since starting work my healthy balanced diet has gone wayyy out the window...but...im actually maintaining/losing weight.

Just to give an idea for you yesterday's food intake:

- Crunchy nut cereal and a cup of coffee.

- Belvita biscuits.

- chorizo pasty

- strawberry glazed doughnut

- Full block of Cadbury Oreo chocolate

- Half a packet of cadbury medley

- 5 biscuits

- Fruitella sweets

- Pringles

- Curry with naan bread

- cappucino and a mocha

- Pepsi max.

You can tell I now snack a lot!! And it's all junk xD but my weight has been it's lowest it's been in 2 years! I just don't understand how it's happening to be fair but on the bright side besides definite sugar overload it's actually helping with my weight obsession. I'm not counting calories 24/7 and I only weigh myself once sometimes twice a day and even then I don't do it every day compared to a month ago I was weighing myself up to 6 times a day every day!

• still stealth at work and decided to have a social media clearout! My colleague who I get on very well with was asking me about my other half what she looked like etc. And she said she was beautiful and I jokingly say next you'll be saying I'm lucky to have someone so beautiful and her reply was no Daniel you are a good looking lad ! And honestly this made me smile a lot because I don't think I've ever really been told that by someone I still barely know outside of work but she has a son called Daniel so I'm guessing that's where are current bond has started and also we share the same amount of love for elephants and both love Olives and both drive Vauxhalls 😂 basically me and (K) have a fair bit in common. It will be sad when she leaves mid November as she's got a new job lined up next month.

• another work note - My boss kindly and funnily informed me most of the department's on our office floor have noticed me around and asked him what my name was as they all kept referring to me as mini Brett or Brett's twin. Me and Brett have similar jobs and work in the same department and look quite similar! People have mistaken me for him and called me Brett a couple times and honestly this doesn't bother me because he is cis male and I'm a transmale if I'm being mistaken for a cis male then that gives me a lot of confidence I am passing well !

• still haven't noticed any changes with fat redistribution or muscle. To be honest I think my muscle mass has gone down a little but only in my arms as I do take measurements occassionally. I'm not sure whether that could be because I don't eat meat as much or whether my levels have dropped recently or even the fact I haven't really done any strength exercises in a month!

• acne has calmed down for now but I've started to wash my face every morning with a bar of soap and facial scrub every time I have a shower compared to before when I used a facial scrub every night before bed and every morning if I had time in the mornings as well that is.

Finally a side note

• my mom a couple days ago was surprised to find out I use male toilets in public and I was also surprised that she thought I didn't. I've been biblically out for over 2 years and now being on Testosterone it's even more permanent than before the way she reacted to me using male toilets was almost as if being transgender is part time and only stops when I need to pee!

Final update! My gc2b nude binder finally arrived I won it in a competition 3 months ago, I emailed to see how long postage takes and they admitted they forgot to send it but I didn't mind as I can be pretty patient besides I won't it and didn't pay anything towards it so I didn't have much to complain over the wait really! I will post comparison between my old one (underworks) and the new one (gc2b)

That's all the updates for now!

I will put up a voice comparison video hopefully later today! Have a wonderful Sunday on this fine Autumn day! (Fyi Autumn is my favourite season!)

Thanks for listening (reading!)

Daniel 😊 x

(1st and 2nd pic: Underworks. 3rd and 4th pic: GC2B) and 5th pic of my face and my new haircut!