How do we feel about Evan with a lowkey toxic and unsettling gf who he justifies everything of and loves with his whole heart but Vinny and Jeff don't really like her so he just stops talking about her to them and they happily assume they broke up
Until Habit appears, and besides talking to the camera as if he was breaking the fourth wall in a show, he murmurs to himself about making a "worthwhile show" to someone while vaguely gesturing to either windows, dark corners, or the forest
Hiii I love your evan series and I donβt want to be rude at all, but the chinese married couple both having japanese names kinda took me out ngl π
ARE THEY??? I JUST MADE THEM UP ON THE SPOT BYE I FORGOT ABOUT THAT π₯π₯
I'm so genuinely sorry if i offended someone, i'm going to correct them now π
When you started to talk to Evan all those months ago, a situation like the one you're living right now didn't even cross your mind at all.
Evan was nice, Evan was funny, he was brave, kind, always had something to talk aboutβ
βI'm repeating myself.β You think, and shake your head with a defeated sigh. But it isn't like you're lying! Anyone that knew him atleast a bit knew all those were just facts of who Evan Myers was. Michael Myers if he was named Evan and had videogames to discharge his natural evil needs instead of killing people.
You pause at that and lean your head against the backrest of the most uncomfortable wood chair you've ever had the displeasure of sitting on (without mentioning the ache on your wrist and arms for being tied back against said chair).
Evan had always been weird. The good kind of weird; but, since the moment you both first came across each other all those months ago, you had realized a second in that he was exhausted, not tired. And decided you were going to brighten his days.
Was it your saviour complex? Him putting you on a pedestal would affect your possible relationship? Getting idealized was the bad kind of weird? Yes to all. But he was the boy of your dreams, and if he needed a safenet then he was going to get it. You know what they say, never judge without living it firstperson.
Actually, you think nobody ever said that. Doesn't matter.
Then the whole situation went from charming-weird to concerning-weird to someone-call-the-cops-weird. You weren't that involved with Evan and his friend's youtube channel, actually prefered to just avoid being around whenever they recorded and watch them after they uploaded them. To get cuteness agression for Evan then make fun of him on text and in person, of course.
Then one of his friend's girlfriend dissapeared. Like woosh, banished from the face of earth. You remember Evan standing real close to you and staring directly into your eyes when telling you.
He had been really sensible about knowing your whereabouts since that one time you dissapeared a whole week. When seeing him again (a smile breaks on your face when remembering how frenzied he was after getting to you in that park, looking you up and down several times then gripping you by the arms to pull you closer), he demanded an explanation, like a normal person. You had to make something up fast before his friends got to you both and heard, as they didn't seem to remember your dissapearence at all.
So, to your pleasure, Evan was the only odd one out. You quickly excused yourself with a "familiar emergency" and how "yeah, I didn't turn on my phone for a whole week Evan. It's not weird, what are you, a phone addict? Thought you didn't get along well with technology."
He squinted at that. You didn't really know if it was because of the sunlight or the obvious exhaustion clouding his features, but he finally sighed deep, let go of your arms and let his body sag into you. You flinched at the sudden contact, bitting your lip and snickering nervously as he rested on your shoulder and breathed into your neck, relief oozing off him.
He cussed you out a little too, and pinched your side several times while doing so. You laughed out loud at that and squirmed in your place, trying to take hold of his wrists to pull them away, but never taking a step back. It was a scene out of a sappy romance coming-of-age movie.
Until his friends got to you and teased him loudly while recording jokingly for "evidence", making Evan get embarrased and stop his pinching, standing straight again and telling them to fuck off. They asked (On Evan's case, stared at you intensely until you said yes) if you wanted to come along for their video, reassuring you that you wouldn't appear on it. Like any sane, lovesick person that just diedβ ejem, was awayβ for a week and just reunited with her future boyfriend, you gave an enthusiastic yes.
Whenever he wasn't on camera, Evan would stand besides you and quietly hold your jacket's sleeve. Your insides were melting and you were dyingβ haβto tease him about it, but just in case, you didn't say anything, least he got embarrassed again, let go, and started pinching you.
Before spliting ways, he held you by the wrist, and asked you where you worked and lived. You calmly told him where you worked and how to get there, and he seemed to already know about what chinese restaurant you were talking about. You hesitated about telling him where you lived, and decided to just feign that you were in a rushβ
You're startled out of your daydream by the sound of metal hitting the floor behind you, straightening in the chair and looking over your shoulder then sighing. A random too-big knife fell alone on the floor.
Already frustrated by being shaken out of your daydream, you look around the dingy basement for what feels like the tenth time. Curious splatters on the floor and walls, too big to be anything but splashed and falling blood, badly cleaned or not at all. Lots, lots of weapons of different calibre, but all variations of edged weapons, just one rifle and a shotgun for firearms. Well, it was common knowledge that Evan was a fan of knives. The most puzzling thing was the total absence of light besides the dangling lightbulb, the windows all basements had completely covered by random stuff without letting one ray of anything come in.
It didn't matter you never told him where you lived anytime after when he asked it seemed, he discovered it anyways. Atleast you think. You don't remember how you got here.
As you were saying (monologuing to yourself), things had been extra weird these past several months, no matter how good you feigned obliviousness to it all for Evan's sake, listening to him whenever he needed to ramble, even though more often than not it was to himself. And you knew all about weird, supernatural, things happening around you. Hell, you were born on that shit, weirdest little town in the whole fucking world. You always get frustrated when thinking about it. Dumbass privileged kids that could go to school normally while you and your childhood friends had to deal with the entity of the week. Even worse for you that always ended up with the worst ending possible.
Whatever, back to the point. Evan just got worse and worse, talking to himself, paranoid and always looking behind his back, couldn't sleep because of nightmares and would send you cryptid messages in the middle of the night that you never got to read because he always deleted them on the second. And because you liked to sleep. Growing distaste for the dark, always around his friendsβ even more than normal and that was saying a lot. On his computer a lot just reading; staring at some ripped photos and what not.
It was obvious there were things he wasn't telling you. Probably the supernatural ones. You found that real sweet. You weren't even official when he would send you messages everyday asking how you were and what you were doing, asking if you had noticed anything weird lately, getting way too worried during your several hours dissapearences, borderline hysteric during your day-long ones; erratically coming to look for you on your job. Not that you were there to know, he would mention it to you. After all, Mr. & Mrs. Zhang didn't remember anything about you during those hours of dissapearence. Evan stopped going to ask after the first three times were they looked at him weirdly then chassed him out.
When you were back and they remembered (they didn't remember what he was here for, just that he came and asked about you. You were relieved to know they didn't remember him cursing out them and their grandparents), they seemed weirdly proud of you. They thought he was kinda ugly and too short, but he looked exactly like the american boy he was. That old couple and their "american dream" bullshit; but whatever, that was the closest you ever were going to get to presenting him to your parents, so you were happy.
Was that too intense? Yeah, and did you hate people that asked too much? Well yes, that's the reason you were working where you worked and why you lived where you lived. But Evan had always been your exception, so you didn't mind. Even more, it gave you butterflies to the stomach.
Oh when he gets worried about you dissapearing from his life so he needs to know everything about you because he's lowkey dependent now and searches for you when you go silent too long for his tastes. Goals.
Curiously, after the first few times of you dissapearing without trace and giving the same ambiguos answers when appearing back, he learnt not to ask, just enjoy the relief of you coming back to him. He stopped mentioning it to his friends too, they always forgot anyways and right now talking about dissapearences left an awkard silence. So he choose to just hide himself in you.
When you appeared again and answered his messages, he always was insistent on you coming to his house right on that moment to hang out. You sometimes acted hard to get just for the sake of it, Evan was really cute when pretending to be nonchalant while actively borderline begging to see you. He has kicked his friends out of his house several times when you were on your way, coming across them on the way and getting teased about it. Then they got worried, asking you why you were walking alone in the middle of the night to Evan's house instead of calling a cab or asking him to pick you up. You couldn't really explain that Evan didn't know your adress nor would ever know it for the foreseable future, so you just raised your shirt a little and showed them the dagger you always carried around.
They found funny how similar you were to Evan in that aspect and laughed, not asking anything anymore and continuing in their way. You made them promise not to tell Evan about you walking alone at night anyways, and they swore on it.
Sometimes they were more angry about it than other times, having gotten woken up by Evan in the middle of the night just to get kicked out, and just told you a quick hi and walked away. You get it, you would be livid if someone did that to you. They were too calm about it actually.
You mentioned it to Evan once, and he just brushed it off, saying that he would make it up to them. And because they never mentioned it during the occasional hang out, it seemed he did, so you didn't really care to mention it again.
But those were the less of the times. More often, you appeared back by morning, and he would invite you to his house after work, a cozy hang out just the two of you.
Before even starting to call those hang outs dates, Evan already wrapped himself around you whenever you appeared again. It started with him only hovering, escalated to holding you by the back of your shirt, and at some point got to him cuddling into your stomach on the couch.
You loved those times, his arms around your waist and hidding his face in you, your hands petting his hair while he pretended to be just tired. Evan was a giggly flustered person; whenever you got particullary sweet with your touches and comfort, his face would flush, and he would huff a laugh, reeling his flustered giggling in. It was so cute you felt yourself dying when it happened, even more when it was during cuddling and he would press his face even further into your stomach, trying to hide his huge smile in you while you could perfectly feel it against your skin.
When you became official, not too long ago actually, he was notably excited. Since the moment you got to his house and he opened the door, you knew he was planning something just by looking at his face.
He was excited, yes, but when the moment of asking you came, he looked afraid. Anyone else would've thought it was because of what your answer could be, but you knew the truth behind it. It was the paranoia haunting him, afraid of what could happen to you when you finally were too involved to excuse yourself out. Whatever was hunting him, would obviously go for something as important as a partner first, besides family.
Maybe you should've stepped away, worry about yourself a little more, but as someone that sees the face of death every other day with coming back always guaranted, you weren't good at thinking first and acting later. You considered it like in games, when you have save points, you don't worry or are as careful as when playing a game that takes you back to the start after dying.
And Evan was sooo excited during asking, so happy and brave besides the fear that it would've actually broken your heart to deny him. Not like you wanted to or even considered it during the moment, reflexing all this after saying yes and making out with Evan on his couch, shrugging it out.
You very obviously weren't an angel in this relationship either, you liked to know what he did in his whole day too, who he interacted with. It could be your worry for the supernatural situation he's living, or natural jealousy and controlling behavior. You and your old friends didn't share real-time locations at all times just because after all. You liked to act jealous when he got too lost reading that blog, just to bask in his reassurence and hugs. According to what Evan showed you, the owner of that blog was a random probably-mentally-ill girl Jeff blamed of killing his girlfriend and called the police on. All this on twitter. You found it hilarious. Evan? not so much, pinching you for laughing at both of them.
But you kind of understood Jeff at some point. You would go batshit insane if Evan dissapeared without a trace just to find out Vinny, for an example, apparently had criminal and psychological records, and was a suspect of killing his whole family.
Poor girl though. With what was happening lately, it wasn't too far fetched that an actual entity or something just killed her whole family. Same with Jeff's girlfriend's dissapearence. That was actually what Evan believed, clearly the most convinced in the group about supernatural things existingβ
Steps start to sound upstairs, and you freeze. You doubt for a second if it really was Evan that kidnapped you here, even though it very obviously is his basement. His steps sound too... aggresive? That's not how Evan walks, and you're quite proud about your knowledgement of every part of him.
You turn to look at the door, being seated infront of them. It opensβ and yeah that's Evan, that's his silhouette, so atleast physically, it is Evan. Physically, because when it starts walking down the stairs, it's not Evan anymore.
It walks into the light, and you're left squinting at your boyfriend's pretty face disturbed by a smug smirk. It has Evan's death proof cap on his head. Alright movie, you never understood Evan's hype for it. The same piercing eyes, but with a weird light in them. You blink twice when they shine purple, and it just tilts Evan's head mockingly. It's silent.
You look to the side, then look at it again with a raised brow, finally speaking with hesitation but confident. βYou're acting kinda weird Evan.β
Its smirk turns to an unsettling grin (as unsettling your boyfriend's pretty face can be), and takes two steps closer. βI'm not Evan. And I think you're aware of it, babe.β Its tone of voice is way raspier than Evan's. One way to differentiate them you guess.
βStop it, you're going to make me blush.β You answer, deadpan. You wonder if Evan would consider it cheating if you kissed his body while something else was posessing it. If it's inside your boyfriend's body, is it your partner too? Or is that offensive to people with multiple personalities? Does it even count if it's a demon (you assume) and not another personality created by the same brain? You kinda feel like kissing him right now, this new attitude making you feel some sorta way.
After staring at you in silence while you monologued to yourself, it dissapears for a second, before reappearing leaned down infront of you and snapping Evan's teeth too close to your face, laughing when you flinch away and glare at him after.
βYeah it's kinda obvious you're not him. I think Evan would explode before doing something like this to me...β You trail off, hesitating before lightly shaking your head and looking at your not-boyfriend's-but-at-the-same-time-boyfriend's eyes.βWhat even did you kidnap me for? Too personal for a first meeting don't you think? Or were you that eager to meet little old me? Do you count as my boyfriend tooβ ?β You tease with a smile, before getting cut off by the feel of steel pressing against your jaw.
It stands straight again, smile wide after you stopped talking while holding a knife you don't remember him coming in with against your jaw, slowly letting it trail down to your throat. βYou talk waaaay too fucking much, and I'm not exactly fond of people that talk more than me, so be a good rabbit and shut. up.β It finishes in a growl, smile falling as it expresses way more frustration than it let you see before. βAnd I know you're reffering to me as "it" in your mind. Stop before I get really fucking mad.β
βOkay, okay, sorry. No need to get so angry that I don't know how ro refer to the entity possesing my boyfriend's body and try to be inclusive. What even is your name anyways?β You rush to reassure him(?), huffing. How were you supossed to know itβ he? could read minds? Did he (?) Even read minds or just got called an "it" too many times and now just knows the tells?
βWell, right now, your dear host'sβ You huff a little at that, and he(?) Bats at your jaw with the knife as a warningβ pronouns are He and Him, because of my vessel. Thanks for asking, very polite of you.β He(!!) Announces dramatically. Then slashes you under the jaw with the knife, laughing when you let out a yell and curse out at him.β I'm not one for pleasanteries though.β
This dude has an obvious love for dramatics, you think, sweatdropping as you lean down a little on yourself because of the pain and watch him start to performatively walk around you and talk. β You see babe, your boyfriend's my vessel. Been for a looooong time, and I like to make my vessels suffer. Particullary make Evan suffer.β You open your mouth, but he interrupts you, stopping infront of you and holding a finger up with a smirk.β Ah-ah, don't fucking interrupt me, and I already know what you're going to ask.β He clears his throat, holding his hands up mockingly to accompany his dramatically high-pitched voice. You don't talk like that, you think with a light glare towards him.β But Habit!β Ah, his name is Habit. What is he? Humanity's bad Habit? Kinda sick.β Vessel? What does that mean? What are you then? What do you really look like?β
He roughly starts patting your head, roughly moving your head back and fort while snickering at your protests and attempts to pull away.β Oh don't you worry about it my stupid little rabbit. That's not a mystery for you to solve! Leave it to your boyfriend and his friends. It's none of your fucking business.β He grips your nape and hair and makes you look up into his wide eyes, a low growl in his voice. Not that you were really planning to do that anyways...
βMy point with all this is,β He lets go of you and holds both hands up theatrically, knife having banished from sight. βWe're not here for me, sadly, we're here for you, rabbit.β Habit leans down to your face again, only centimeters away as he whispers to you with an huge smile.βI've seen you die.β Ok, nice conversation starter.β Every other day, you die. Sometimes in gruesome ways I really appreciate. Sometimes clean and fast before anyone realizes what's happening. Sometimes a freak accident. But you die, and then come back the next day, where nothing happens. It's a day and a day I've realized, one day you suffer death, the next It's your off day, the next to that you die again, an interminable cycle.β He grins, eyes crinkled form excitement.β I'm not really fond of predictable cycles, but yours is like a christmas to me. Interfering with my own cycle, the first annomaly in a lot of time. No one remembers, except Evan. That's why you like him so much no? He's the only one that realizes that something, you, is missing.β
He stands straight and barks a loud laugh, making you grimace a little at the loud sound. βReally fucking toxic and dependent don't you think? Not that I care.β You just shrug at him, and his grin widens.β You can talk now rabbit, promise I won't bite. For now.β
You think for a little with a loud hum, and he stands with his arms crossed while tilting his head down at you. You brighten with a question and he smiles at you, seemingly eager for the curiosity he's always at the end of. You tried to ask him this before he attacked you. Asshole.
βRight, I had a doubt earlier. If Evan is my boyfriend and you're in his body, does that make you my boyfriend too? Or is that offensive to people with multiple personalities? Does it even count if you're an entity and not another personality created by the same brain?β
Habit's smile drops and he grumbles under his breath, annoyed. He smacks you over the head hard, making you yelp. βShut the fuck up. You're not permited questions anymore because of that.β
Habit eventually let you go from the basement, grumbling about how he would've stabbed you a couple of times before but couldn't because it "isn't the time yet." He didn't bother explaining how you got under there, ignoring your questions and just turning upside down the kitchen looking for ressee's, cursing out loud like a sailor when you told him Evan ate them all yesterday.
He didn't hold back on smacking you though. Over the head mostly, and one on the ass while making a raunchy comment. You playfully batted him away like a flustered maiden and he laughed his ass off. You didn't think it was that funny but okay. Whatever keeps him from killing you for now.
You walked around the house. The place familiar to you as it was Evan's house until you opened any door. Literally any door. Door that you opened, door that would be a transport to anywhere but a real room from the house. There was a door that just was a black hole of nothing, and another that gave you a headache just by getting too close to it.
There were some doors Habit didn't even let you get close to, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you back when you even thought of going to some door.
Looking around while Habit was doing god knows what talking to himself, at some point he seemed to get.. overstimulated? So, he came up behind you and tackled you to the floor, laughing like a maniac because you couldn't really fight him off. After a while of that, he stood up and stayed away from you, growling when you got too close for his taste. You were teasing and got way to close to his face. He huffed like a dog and smacked you away hard enough to send you tumbling to the floor. He laughed at you and got back to normal, literally kicking you on the leg while on the floor. Probably leaving a bruise.
If he had a "real form", you were sure he was some kind of dog.
He seemed to have heard that thought, turning around and glaring enough to send anyone else's head explode. βWhat do you mean by that, uh?β Habit slowly prowled up to you, faces close enough that the visor of his cap bumped against your forehead.
You huff a laugh, βDon't listen to my thoughts if you can't take it.β and quickly flash your tongue out at him. But you understimated his aparently superhuman abilities, as Habit catched your tongue before you can hide it inside your mouth again. Then starts a tug of war for your tongue against Habit, him laughing like a maniac at your incapability of forming understandable protests while trying to pull away without hurting yourself.
You felt as if days had gone by in just some blinks. Habit wouldn't let you open any windows to atleast see which period of the day you were in, and the clocks all showed different hours. It felt weird, it's been the most (atleast your biological clock feels like it) time you've ever gone without dying, the lack of adrenaline felt almost like a withdrawl. And let's not talk about boredom.
You've come to the revelation that electronics don't really work unless Habit wills it, having gone through him making fun of you whenever you tried to turn anything on only for him to turn it off at will. Until you got frustrated enough and threw the toaster at his head, Habit dissapearing with an echoing laugh. You don't remember Evan having a toaster.
When you worried about your job, Habit just told you not to worry about it. Literally, it was like this: βHow long have I been here? Without dying too. What about my job?β. βDon't worry about itβ. How reassuring.
At some point, when Habit came back after hours out all dirty with mud, blood and sweat, and chassed you around the house like that because he knew how gross you found it, you wondered why you weren't freaked out. Yes, you die as much as you live, but you've never been particulary fond of kidnappers-sadists and/or entities. You decided to go to him and ask.
βThatβs what you're all lost in your head thinkin about?β He scoffed, manspreading on the couch while you sat cross legged on the floor beside him. You slapped his leg and he chuckled. βWell, that's easy to answer.β
You turned and looked at him expectantly, Habit threw his head back against the backrest and let out a long thoughtfull hum. Just to grin and look down at you again. βBut I won't.β
You groaned. βWho do you think I am, dude? Fucking Scooby doo? I'm not investigating anything.β He laughed at that, and let his heavy hand down on your head, making it fall forward with the weight.β I know that. That's why I like you sooooo much.β He didn't elaborate anymore after that.
Habit is a fan of recording and taking photos, you've come to learn. Even if most of them are complete garbage. Never trust Habit to record a fight.
He takes photos of you, but you never see him do it. You can be doing anything or nothing, with Habit around you or not, and you suddenly hear a camera sound, sometimes flash too. If he's around, you will turn around and look at him with furrowed eyebrows, only for him to grin and shrug, no camera visible in his hands or close to him. If he isn't around, you quickly look around trying to find him. Sometimes it ends at the sound of the camera, sometimes you feel the pull of looking at a dark corner of the room specifically, and pose. Another sound of a camera taking a photo, this time accompained by the sound of a distorted chuckle.
When Habit feels like it, he grabs you and makes you sit with him to watch whatever he recorded or photographed. Most of them are shit, and you've told him so:
βWhat the hell were you even trying to record there?? It's just an horribly moving camera with you panting like a dog behind it.β You laugh. But it happens that Habit is particullary sensible about his photoghenic abilities, so he side eyed you with a glare then pushed you off the couch roughly, and teletransports you before getting to the floor so you're falling down the stairs now.
You groan on the floor now, and he appears standing infront of you with an huge grin and snickering, camera on his hand. βWanna see the video of you falling down the stairs like an idiot?β
Some are midly good, so you just lean over his shoulder to watch in silence. He has never shown you any of the photos or possible recordings you know he takes of you, even if he denies it to death. Just the video of you falling down the stairs. It was a little funny, but, just as stubborn as he is, you will take that fact to death.
He woke you up with a bite one day, startled out of your sleep (?) On the couch, because Habit still didn't let you go to rooms on your own, by him bitting your arm. When you yelled at him and smacked his head, he huffed and let you go, smirking and mumbling about how "You're so lucky I don't really see you as a human anymore." Whatever that means. You decided to defend yourself, gasping offended and holding a hand to your chest.
βUh! I will let you know I am one hundred percent human, born and raised.β You scoffed. You didn't actually care that much about your humanity, just found it fun to banter with him after the amount (you suposse) of time passed proved that he wouldn't do anything to you. For now.
Habit scoffs right back, hovering over you as he arguments right back. βI've been inside your mind, dumbass.β You didn't fight back after that, just huffing and throwing a pillow to his head.
You missed Evan. You missed your beautiful and loving boyfriend so so so so soooo much it was physically hurting you. That yearning feeling seemed to have come all in suddenly, as if it had been accumulating inside of you all this time.
Waking up that morning, normal. Walking to the kitchen, normal. Not finding any mug to quickly clean and use, normal. Opening the cabinet to look for one, normal. Until you saw Evan's designed mug, one with a badass image of Kratos, and all hell broke lose.
Evan. Oh, Evan. You hadn't even thought of him during this time living with Habit. You literally saw his face everyday, but something posessing him was enough to make you forget about your precious lover?
You stood still in the kitchen, staring intently up at the mug in silence. It felt as if every shared moment with Evan had clashed down on you without warning. Evan, how much you loved, adored him, how could you even dare to forget? It wasn't as if you never thought it before while activelly being with him instead of Habit, it's just that the feeling of something missing from months, the grief of him not actually being here, clashed down on you all at once, instead of being processed during that time.
Your chest felt as if it was being caved in, breath quickening and eyes cloudingβ
The feeling was suddenly squished to something much smaller, leaving you confused by the perceived "over sensitivity".
βWhat're you doin?β Habit asks, suddenly behind you and throwing his arm over your shoulders carelessly, smiling. You flinch a little at the unexpected appearance, staring down confused at the counter. Habit snorts besides you βWhy're you crying outta nowhere? Crybaby.β he mocks, and you furrow your brows, smacking him on his side but deciding to answer. βShut up. I don't actually know why, I mean, I kinda miss Evan, but not that much? I don't know, maybe I woke up too sensible today.β You trail off, and Habit just hums at that, squeezing you to his side harder.
You both stay in silence, until Habit smirks, and with the arm around your shoulders starts chocking you. You yelp, then start to curse out at him as much as you can while trying to elbow him on the stomach. He laughs, and by a missed step of yours, you both fall down to the floor, rolling around with his laughs as you try to fight him off.
Your day was normal after that, besides some lingering missing feeling in your chest, that only got worse as days progressed. You didn't get it, you missed Evan, yes, but it didn't feel as deep for your reasoning brain as it felt deep for your heart and stomach, both caving in. You sobbed out of nowhere during the day, but tears didn't fall, nor did your nose clogg, just your heart, stomach and lungs suffering. Your brain didn't comprehend it at all.
Surprisingly, Habit didn't comment anything when in happened, just grimacing while staring at you or not even there. What did continue to sound, was the sound of a camera. But you didn't have the will to look for him while sobbing out a lung. Besides those inexplicable times for you, everything was the same.
Habit threw himself on the couch and played with a random knife, throwing it up and catching it before getting stabbed on the eye. It was one of those days you like a grieving widow, breathing in and out as if in the middle of trying to calm down your tears, so you silently sat on the floor besides his laying form on the couch, staring at him while hugging your knees to your chest. It was way too silent for your taste, but you didn't have the will to talk either, the sound of the knife cutting air making your body go in alert against your will.
He catched the knife one last time and turned his head to look at you in the eyes. He smirked at the dazed, adoring (and teary) look in your eyes, basking in it if the way he turned his whole body to you now meant something.βYou really like Evan huh? Wonder how that will affect this shit iteration.β
Before you can ask (question that would go without answer anyways) for him to explain his cryptid words, you open your eyes, for what feels like the first time in months. You get that feeling of having dreamt something really worth remembering, but your brain refuses to cooperate.
You blink your teary eyes repeatedly, groggly look around, and sit up, Evan under you in deep sleep. It seems you both fell sleep on the couch while watching that shitty movie Evan refussed to change because "It was going to get good."
Trying to force your brain to remember, just because of curiosity, you stare up at the ceiling with squinted eyes because of the light. Until Evan feels the cold of you not being on his him and half-awake grumbles like a child and pulls you back on his chest with a tight hug, sighing and nuzzling into you while you try to keep your giggling in. Hugging him back just a tight and leaving a big kiss on his cheek, making him smile sleepily and squeeze you.
Like that, you forget anything about a supossed dream. Until you start to sob out of nowehere.
Evan startled awake at that, eyes wide open as he throws his head back, trying to get you to pull away from his shoulder so he can look at your face. He tightens his hug and starts to rub up and down your back, grimacing when yoj start to tremble and cry harder at that. βBaby? What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream? C'mon, look at me and tell me.β
You shake your head against his shoulder, whining negatively to his reauest and slipping your arms under his body, gripping his shirt. You try to calm yourself a little to atleast reassure him, but all your work goes to the trash when he coos and nuzzles into your neck back, your tears cascading down your face and onto his shirt.
You finally calm down a little after some minutes of affection from Evan, and sit up on his lap. He sits up too, and cups your face in his hands after you're done brushing your tears away with your hands and rubbing your eyes raw. He tilts his head at your and kisses your nose. βDon't rub your eyes baby, you'll hurt yourself.β
You look into his eyes, and they fill with tears again at the worried and loving look in those baby blues. He snorts a little as tears start to fall down your face again, and you laugh along. Evan leans closer to your face, trying to make eye contact. βBabe c'mon, you're worrying me to death here, just for you to look at me and start tearing up again? Am I that ugly? Did you have a nightmare with my ugly face that made you cry like a kid seeing the boogey man?β
Nuzzling into his hands, you cup his face right back, and start pecking him on the face between tears with a croaky voice.βNoo, you're the most beautiful boy ever. It was your pretty face that made me cry actually, I swear. I just had a bad dream in which you weren't in, and it made me miss my pretty boyfriend horribly.β Evan chuckles at that, and decides now to nuzzle your faces together instead, wrapping his arms around you. βAww baby, don't cry. If it makes you feel better, I missed you during my hours sleeping too. Subconsciously.β He pulls back to kiss your wet and flushed cheek with a loud "mwah!", which you tearily giggle at; then presses your faces together again, you both clossing your eyes in silence, basking in the slow and loving morning.
The next days, when Evan finds photos of you now, on the forest, under his bed, on his email, he decides not to tell you anything. Photos of you inside his house, looking away, sleeping, doing chores, from outside windows, looking at the camera, posing at the camera. He keeps them all to himself. He's terrified of them as much as he loves looking through them. He feels disgusted by the feeling, but keeps them.
When his paranoia skyrockets, making you stay as much as possible in his house, looking for you even more desperately whenever you dissapear every other day, hugging you tighter when you come back; you bask in it, and don't say anything.
And when you stay in silence and just stare at him, follow him around the house whenever he moves, hug him like he's going to dissapear, and kiss him like you want those kisses to last you for the next thirty years; he basks in it, and doesn't ask anything.
It happened again. Like always. Not that she remembered much besides the few milliseconds after first closing her eyes; sometimes darkness, the sky, candles, or a burning hellscape. Until her eyes opened up to the sunlight coming from her open window again.
Groaning, she turned around on the mattres and threw her rag of a blanket over her head. Mattress on the floor, obviously. Couldn't afford much else besides paying for this dingy appartment and take out once in a while.
Not that it mattered much if she ate or not.
Her phone under the pillow dinged, she grabbed it and turned it on, squinting at the brightness and swearing under her breath.
Her brows furrowed even further after taking in the date. A week. A whole fucking week lost. She groaned loudly and threw her head back. Yes, no one besides her would remember, and this has been happening basically since she gained awareness of herself (or even before. Like she said, no one besides her remembers), but these random bouts of much time lost always frustrated her.
It was kinda of a good thing too, she thought with a huff while staring up at the stained ceiling; a whole week lost meant another whole week free.
Well then, it's almost time for work. A whole week of normal life.
You left your phone charging without a second glance and slowly got up from the mattress and to the bathroom, stumbling a little along the way. A much needed shower was calling your name.
βTime for work.β you sing-song, taking hold of your phone and walking to the busted up door with a yawn, grimacing at the memory of how it ended up like that. There's a reason to why they're called "loan sharks" and not "loan kittens", always vicious and excited for blood. From the few seconds you remember before your eyes closed, anyways.
They had come to teach a lesson, to make of you an example. Too bad those type of lessons never lasted or affected you for long. Really, for someone in your situation, it was the same end as always but with free money included, money you always needed.
βI should get someone to fix it...β You mutter, before looking up with a raised eyebrow then shrugging dismissively. For what? It's gonna end the same way again someday, and you could need that money for something else.
You open the door with some struggle and a kick, then close it with the same struggle and a swear. Stupid gang-men, what's the need of kicking the door open anyways?
Rushing down the stairs because the elevator is broken like always, you run to your job, keeping extra mind to avoid being too close to the street, looking up every 5 seconds, and taking quick glances at your back and around. It's not anything fancy, made obvious by your way of living, but it keeps you midly afloat, and they don't question anything. The most important thing.
Turning the corner, you run faster the moment it comes to view. A restaurant of chinese food, owned by a chinese marriage with a deep love for arguing loudly with each other and defensors of the "american dream". But hey, if it worked for them, who are you to judge?
You walk into the empty restaurant, and the owner greets you with a grunt while staring up at the tv on the wall with the news. Greeting him back, you walk into the staff room and put on your apron. You worked here during your childhood, and got back to it when you moved back. Was it child labor at first? Yes, but the tips were good and they let you keep them all to yourself, so nobody at home really cared. Even more, it was needed.
When you came back, they welcomed you with open arms (as open as their arms could be) and hired you, legally this time. Easy job, and let's hope it lasted forever, because there was nobody in less condition of college than you.
Talking about jobs, you did the occasional odd job around, your number being passed to anyone that needed a quick help and someone desperate enough for 20 dollars. Thankfully, it was more often than not an old lady that used up any excuse to get company.
You were quite popular around the old ladies here now.
At that, you decide to finally look into your phone's notifications since waking up, see if any job came up. You see Evan's contact and smile, giddy.
>[Hey! How was ur day? :)]
You giggle, squirming a little in your place and making Mrs. Keiko side eye you from her standing place in the kitchen. Whatever, bitter old lady that loved smacking her equally bitter husband.
The first few are all around the same, talking about his day while waiting for you to answer and talk about yours. They must be from before you diedβ
Until you notice that they don't stop.
>[Ur sleep already? Sleep tight!!]
The next day after the incident.
>[Heard from the guys that there was an car accident]
>[Real horrible stuff]
>[I'm more worried about u though haha]
Until there, it would be okay, normal, expected even. Sometimes they didn't inmediatly forget, it took some more time then. But not more than some hours. And the messages didn't stop, just getting more worried and franatic with the passing of the days. You stared up at the ceiling, not knowing what to do with this new situation.
There were two possibilities only. 1) Mister dreamy-eyes Evan was not a normal person, wheter he knew it or not. It was not your first time coming across some supernatural thing, but all they normally did when gaining knowledge of your situation was mock you, make fun of you for being so cursed.
2) Evan was way more attached to you than you thought.
... Was it wrong to wish it was more one than the other? Maybe you were biased, but that was between you, your flustered groan, and Mrs. Zhang glaring side eye.
You and Evan weren't that close during school, no matter how much you wished you were. He had his own close group, like any teenage boy with weird interests. And you... weren't in your best moment.
Foster care, horrible, horrible foster care. Your foster parents weren't that awful, just distant, but for a troubled and lonely teenager that had just been separated from her family, no matter how better your conditions of life were in foster care, you hated everyone.
Not that you demostrated it, you didn't want to be even more lonely, so more often than not you kept your comments and opinions to yourself, silent.
Oh but troubled teen girls had two big enemies:
Stupid teenage boys (the majorty).
And pretty teenage boys (the minuscule minority, a fact you believe in until this day).
And oh, wasn't Evan Myers the prettiest boy ever. According to you and your tastes anyways, you remember a girl from your group classifying him as the ugliest boy in the class.
Evan will never know, but you defended him with cape and sword. Really, your biggest, embarrassing fan moment. Your friends teased you about how they had never seen you so passionate about anything.
He was just so pretty, and so different from the other idiot teenage boys. So kind, interesting, funny, biggest boyfriend material ever. Atleast in your mediocre class.
And no matter how many times your friends tried to pair you both up, you were too scared to really try anything past subtle (real subtle) flirting. That he never catched on. Typical weird teen boy.
Then, life continued. You remember wishing to have atleast made a minuscule dent in his life before dissapearing after graduation, foster care finished. A girl will always remember her first parasocial relationship.
Until you came back under... indefinite reasons. You hadn't thought about him in years, and when getting here just had a quick Β«oh I wonder how he looks like nowΒ» before continuing to move boxes in.
You thought it would be too much of a coincidence to just, come across him while out. You had to have too much luck, and you were more of a bad luck person from birth.
Until you decided to go outside and actually came across him, that same boy rushing towards you in the middle of a park with a grin and a questionable hair cut, not caring about the possible awkardness.
You swear you feel in love in that exact moment. It wasn't a crush anymore.
You actually had to keep your excitement and joy in, eyes misty from intense feelings while reeling yourself in. Giving him just a side hug instead of crushing his ribs in a bear one was an accomplishment on its own, but giving him your number without question? You actually hiperventilated while walking back home.
After some time talking, you realized that yeah, your teenage self idealized this regular man over meassure. Not that you could fault her, looking into his eyes still made your stomach actually boil from nerves and caused some brain cells to die.
But keeping aside and discarding the idealized parts, he still was good. Kind, brave, funny, always had something to talk about. His fashion sense was weird to say the least but still cute. He reminded you of a sunflower, always aware of were the good side was.
Were you too biased? You didn't think so.
So, after purposefully going to the same park after work, standing like a stalker on the edge of a treeline, wait for him, then yell at him the moment you notice his gloomy persona.
You decide you have the right to be hopeful when he rushes to you while looking half dead from worry. Prettiest malnourished sunflower finding the sun again.
Future you can worry about the consequences of him remembering, it's not your problem right now.
Evan was overwhelmed. Or he was having a crisis, he wasn't really sure.
He wasn't an easy guy to overwhelm at all, but with everything that had been happening since Vinny, Jeff and him had started that youtube channel, his life seemed to only go downwards. And fast.
His house getting broken in, the constant feeling of being watched of being hunted, his nightmares, the notes, that blog...
Yeah, he wasn't having good days, or weeks, or months, at all. It was like whenever he got used to the already existing problems, another one was added, and Vinny always found it very recordable.
The only good thing that had happened to him since weeks, was reconnecting with a π³πΏπΆπ²π»π± from high school. They came across each other while him and the guys were planning to record on a park close, he recognized π΅π²πΏ and eagerly went up to say hi, not even considering the posible awkardness of the encounter.
Thanks to god, that decided to give him atleast one thing to be happy about, ππ΅π² responded just as happily, throwing an arm over his shoulder in a half-hug and everything (he decided to ignore Vinny's and Jeff's side-eye towards each other when that happened).
Evan introduced everyone, ππ΅π² even got a small aparition in the video, even if only π΅π²πΏ voice could be heard from behind the camera, making fun of something he said. π¦π΅π² hadn't wanted to really appear in the video, apparently too camera shy by π΅π²πΏ rushed excuses, which he found adorable.
When it was time to part ways, ππ΅π², by π΅π²πΏ own will, came up to Evan and gave him π΅π²πΏ number with a grin. He prefered to not mention (again) Vinny's and Jeff's teasing after ππ΅π² left.
So yeah, everything was good, ππ΅π² was his own little ray of πππ»ππ΅πΆπ»π² on his little Britain of only cloudy and depressing days. Texting whenever he had the time, or to distract himself at night when the shadows outside and inside the house felt like piercing eyes. Seeing each other on their off days.
π¦π΅π² always wanted to come to his house, saying π΅π²πΏπ was too messy but ππ΅π² didn't feel like cleaning it either, which he laughed at. So, they always hang out at his house, watching movies, playing games, or just talking. Sometimes Vinny and Jeff were there too, but those times consist of them both wiggling their eyebrows teasingly at Evan whenever ππ΅π²'π not looking.
Until ππ΅π² dissapeared a π¬ππ€π‘π π¬πππ .
Not answering textsβ hell, they didn't even reach π΅π²πΏ; π΅π²πΏ socials completely dead, like ππ΅π² banished from the face of earth. He couldn't even go to π΅π²πΏ house because he didn't know where ππ΅π² lived, didn't know where ππ΅π² worked, didn't know if ππ΅π² had family here or not, if ππ΅π² talked to them, anything!
It was the first time in his life that he regreted not being nosy, those were basic things to know about friends for fucks sake!
But the weirdest thing was when he decided to mention it to Jeff and Vinny after two days of complete radio silence.
Worried out of his mind, he went up to them for some advice, or even a little comfort, when someone tells you that everything will be alright even when you know it won't; and yes, they were also concerned, for a little. After some minutes of them reassuring him, they just... forgot? More interesed in talking about the latest incident in town, a π΄πΆπΏπΉ that got completely run over by a truck and left completely unrecognizable.
π¦π΅π² wasn't mentioned again during the whole hang out; and they didn't reach out either during the week, back to their classic dynamic as if Evan wasn't constantly worried out of his fucking mind, more paranoid than ever.
They just seemed to not notice anything, completely unbothered. And yes, Evan knows that ππ΅π² was more of his friend than a group friend; interacting with them only during the occasional double hang out, when they just appeared during a hang out of him and π΅π²πΏ, or when he felt like inviting them too. But shouldn't they be a little more worried? Not even because of friendship duties, just because of basic civil duties.
When he thought of that on the fifth day of no news, Evan had a sudden realization: for someone who appeared to be worried sick, he actually had never known that much about his high school π³πΏπΆπ²π»π±.
π¦π΅π² was a little geeky, that's the reason they even interacted at all. Couldn't be bothered to do π΅π²πΏ make up, but still grumbling about ππ΅π² wished ππ΅π² knew how to do it. Not a bullying victim, but occasionally made fun of because of π΅π²πΏ tastes.
Not that she ever let it slide, even while ππ΅π² was terrified of confrontations (told to him by π΅π²πΏππ²πΉπ³), ππ΅π² still glared hatefully at whoever made a backhanded comment, cussing at them under π΅π²πΏ breath. Petty until π΅π²πΏ last breath no matter what, particulary distrusting of men, and always around one girl atleast if ππ΅π² could help it.
He remembers how prideful he felt whenever ππ΅π² would make a comment about how he was "an exception" to π΅π²πΏ distate for teenage boys. π¦π΅π² liked to ramble, but could be just as silent, dissociating easily.
But that was it.
He knew the basics of π΅π²πΏ personality, enough to have a good enough time while hanging out or to be capable of doing a duo homework comfortably.
π¦π΅π² never talked about her family, nor π΅π²πΏ home, where ππ΅π² came from, if ππ΅π² had other friends, what ππ΅π² did outside of school, if ππ΅π² even did anything outside of school. When school was over, ππ΅π² would quickly pack π΅π²πΏ things, always excited to get out of it, and rush to the exit. Nobody would pick π΅π²πΏ up or accompany π΅π²πΏ. When ππ΅π² rounded the corner, ππ΅π² was already just a memory.
It wasn't his fault, that much was obvious to anyone. He just never thought much of it as a teenager, they weren't that close after all, he just found π΅π²πΏ pleasing to be around and pretty, not much more. But in the present, the guilt was eating him alive.
Up to what he had interpreted when they reconected, he was π΅π²πΏ only friend currently. Not that ππ΅π² ever said it, but after π΅π²πΏ excitement to hang out one week after the another, he kinda assumed it.
And he hadn't even tried to pry for more? Never even thought about it? Just hang out some hours, have fun, and that was it? π¦π΅π² was a nobody after taking a step out of the door? The π΄πΆπΏπΉ he had declared as the only good thing that happened to him in the past weeks, and he didn't even know if ππ΅π² had a fucking family? Where ππ΅π² ππͺπ·π¦π₯?
And now he probably would never know. Not even going to get invited to the possible funeral.
After a whole week of sleepless nights, worrying until his hands trembled and, and staring intently at his phone trying to will π΅π²πΏ contact to ding, Jeff and Vinny were worried sick.
Not because of π΅π²πΏ, but for him. They actually seemed to have completely forgotten about π΅π²πΏ, asking him if something happened and that he could always talk to them. That always got him even more mad, and he always cut them off agressively. He decided against reminding them about π΅π²πΏ, angry beyond reasoning.
Him and the boys were walking around the park again, but he continued to get completely lost in his thoughts, the bags under his eyes making him look like a complete zombie and the victim of lots of jokes from his friends.
Evan was staring down at his hands, lost in thought, when suddenly a disturbingly familiar ππΌπΆπ°π² called out to him. His head snapped up, ignoring Vinny's and Jeff's teasing as he quickly looked around.
There, on the farther treeline of the park, was π΅π²πΏ, waving happily at them without one scratch.
He ran, rushing as if he was a sunflower finding the perfect angle of the πππ» on a gray day charged with sadness.
While running, Evan briefly wondered why Vinny and Jeff were so calm; as if ππ΅π² had died for a week only for him and everyone else just didn't notice.
