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@laenorblackfyre
The heat in itself was not so terrible, it was more a lack of preparation. If I had been aware of well, that the heat of the desert was more than exaggeration, I’d have prepared for it.
And maybe not worn a woollen tunic, perhaps.Â
Oh. Well, yes, I can see how that can be unfortunate. I'm not quite sure what made you believe you'd need woollen tunics in Dorne, though. Surely you must've heard about the land's weather? Hm. Were you at least able to take a dip in some cool waters?
I thought I’d locked that door… what do you want?
Woops. Wrong door. Wrong chambers. Do forgive me, my lord.Â
It’s nice to be back where it’s colder, even by just a small amount. Dorne is beautiful, but far, far, too hot.
I will never understand you people from the north. How could you possibly prefer the cold to the hot? When it's too hot, you sweat, and push comes to shove, you jump into a cool lake all naked. But be cold, and you will tremble with shivers.
I heard the wedding was quite lovely. Shame, would've liked to be there, see it. They say Dornish people know how to throw an unforgettable celebration. But, you know. More pressing matters called me elsewhere.Â
@ Symond [probs private]
Run away? No, no, I was being called by m’lady. And I’m not, I’m no lord.
Oh? I didn't hear anyone calling, but maybe I simply missed it. Still, it looked very much like running away to me. Did I make you feel uncomfortable? And good, I'm no lord either. Though I like it when people refer to me as such. Lord Blackfyre has such a wonderful ring to it, don't you think?
I hope...
I’m so sorry, brother. I truly am. I wish I could ease your pain. But I do not know how. My words do not seem to get to you. I do not want you to suffer, I never wanted that. I do not want you to be alone in your pain. But I’m more than willing to help you move on, so you could find peace. I just do not know how. Guide me. Tell me what to do so I could silence those voices in your head.Â
Your lessons? What lessons? It was pure cruelty. You were lost, so you played with me. Believing you had rights over me. Over my life. You put restrictions on me, you forced me to follow rules only you believed at. You stripped me off my free will and freedom. Just to teach me a lesson? What kind of lessons were those? I’m not a mouse and not everyone is a snake. I’m not among snakes. I know what I am doing. But because I do not follow your example, that must turn me into some foolish girl, you believe. Father would turn around in his grave if he could see you and what you have done to me. You were supposed to protect me, not to let anything or anyone hurt me. But you were the one who hurt me in the end.
You can't help me. You can't help me, Laena. The voices are louder than you, and they're right. They've been there for me when no one else was, and they tell me to not fear because there is nothing to fear. And they tell me that everything's going to be alright, even without you. You can't help me. You wouldn't know how even if I described it to you step for step. Maybe in the beginning, when it all first happened. But not it's far too late.
...It's easy for you to see yourself as the victim, isn't it, sister? You were never ready to make sacrifices so this family could function. Never. It was always on me; on my shoulders, since we were kids. Now I'm the bad guy because I tried to keep us together. Because I tried to keep you straying from the Blackfyre path. But here you are now, and here you might stay. Even with the Targaryens, if you so wish. You have made your decision. Just know that I'll never, never, forget the audacity you had. And let me tell you this much, if you think I am so evil? Perhaps I will be. Perhaps it's better to be.
@ Symond [probs private]
You ran away so quickly the other day. Why is that? Did I do something wrong, my lord?
I hope...
It was not like she was a bad woman, there were just few people who could understand her and feel comfortable in her presence. She was so…forceful.
I was so upset, too. I’m not heartless. I cried for them. But at some point I just stopped. I moved on. I am very sorry you never got to do that. But you should, brother, you should move on. That way it is going to hurt less. No one is going to be angry with you if you chose to move on.
I think, I think I still love you. But you’re making me doubt. Because of your actions. You are my brother, we are of the same blood. I will always have a place for your in my heart. But you are making it so complicated.
You cried, you mourned, you grieved, and then you forgot. You lived. And you didn't care about me -- I was there, right in front of your eyes; I was hurting, in the worst pain I've ever been, still am, and you looked at me but didn't see. It's still eating at me, every day, but I'm better at hiding now. Don't you think I already tried? I tried to move on, but it's never as easy as people make it out to be. I can't move on. Not with these voices in my head who whisper to me about what could've been, and what is.
I don't need your love, Laena. Not anymore. If you wish to hate me, do so. All I did for this family was to make it thrive, but it was never good enough. You had to learn, but my lessons failed, and now you're a mouse who chose to get cozy with snakes. Father would turn around in his grave if he could see you.
I hope...
That is true. He was a lot….gentler than mother. She had a strong will, insisted on things going the way she wanted them to. And she possessed quite a sharp tongue. When one of us was wrong, she would never hesitate to correct us.
They died. But we still live. We used to be so close. You were my closest friend in the world. I loved you, I loved you so very much. But that is only getting harder now. You made some mistakes, you mistreated me. So I left.
True. Her tongue was sharper than any whip. Her words always hurt more than her actions; I'm not sure if she was ever aware of that. How much she could discourage a person by simply saying certain things. It doesn't matter anymore. We came out stronger than before.
They died, when they shouldn't have. And you acted like it didn't matter. They died and you went along as if it was something to be shrugged off. I was broken inside when the news hit and you just...lived. It wasn't fair. It's still not fair. You don't get to be okay while I suffer inside. You don't.
Loved? You loved me? Past tense? Ah. I see how it is, sister.
I hope...
Yes….I preferred the games with you to sewing. But Mother would never allow. She would claim I would do what I enjoyed after I was done. It’d get so upset with her. But…Nor? What happened to us? To you and I?
Father was the same. He wasn't as harsh as Mother in that matter though, or maybe I was just more convincing with my pleas. But we would sit with his books for a long time, until my eyes began to ache. Alas, it paid off. I cannot complain.
Life happened, Lae. Mother and Father died, that happened. It took all a turn to the worse, and it was inevitable.
I apologized, my lord. It wasn’t intentional, I assure you.
I believe so. Still, I would ask you to be more careful with where you practice...that. Unless you want to kill someone, of course. Then do go on about your business.
Oh, that worked better than I thought it would… Sorry about that.
Excuse you, my lady. I would rather keep my head.
I hope...
Mother would try to teach me every morning, remember? But I haven’t sewed anything since….her passing.
Yes, I remember. Each and every morning she'd wake you at the first light of sun, make you have breakfast and then practice sewing with you. And I would sometimes nag about playing with you, trying to steal you away but Mother would be...persistent.
I hope...
I’m sewing. A small cloak. But I keep pricking my finger as I always have.
You cannot learn to do something better without making mistakes first. That's why you keep pricking your fingers. If you keep trying, keep working, you'll become better eventually.
I hope...
…this one turns out better than the rest have.
What are you up to there, sister?
finally an oasis in this wasteland.
"But you know, those not knowing anything and not being able to hold a sword, are the happiest in this place. You think it’s fascinating? I mean the only thing fascinating about it in my opinion, is that you never know who will take your life, where and when. Or why your soul chose to leave this planet. Yes, indeed. Have you found yourself a partner yet?
"Of course they are. They will never have to fight. They will be protected, because they are deemed not strong enough to protect themselves, and the ones they love. The entire concept of dying is fascinating, if you think about it. One moment you are alive; breathing, walking, talking, the next you are...gone. A husk of what used to be, of unfullfilled wishes and dreams. Hopes that will never become reality. A partner? No. I was to marry my sister, but that was no longer necessary after Father and Mother passed."
