stop acting so small

LANA PREWETT 17 | RAVENCLAW | TAKEN ♡ MODEL | POTIONS QUEEN For all my despair, for all my ideals, for all that - I love life. But it is hard, and I have so much - so very much to learn.

[lydlaroden]

[chelseagals]

[-theperfectmistake]

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[lanaprewett]

All my life

I've been fighting a war I can't talk to you or your friends It's not only you My heart jumps around when I'm alluded to This will not do Cause I was raised up To be admired to be noticed But when you're withdrawn it's the closest thing To assault when all eyes are on you This will not do I'm faking glory Lick my lips toss my hair And send a smile over And the stories brand new But I can take it from here I'll find my own bravado

[mystydiaromance-deactivated2014]

[spencerlahey]

"Norway…" His mumbling is quick, quiet, and contemplative, and he just barely manages to squeeze Lana’s hand back a little harder—any more, he thinks, and he’ll wind up hurting her. Which he does not want to do, obviously. His head turns towards wherever Lana is looking, but instead of Selwyn, Spencer’s eyes are suddenly fixated on Neville Longbottom. Something suddenly weighs him down in the pit of his stomach, something cold, and he quickly turns away to look down at his half-emptied plate. The peas are a side he’s going to skip, but for some reason, he doesn’t even feel like starting on his potatoes.

"I’ll see if I can get a permission slip or something," Spencer promises once the weight of staring at Neville has subsided for the most part. It’s still there, but it’s not as uncomfortable, not as nauseating, as it was five minutes ago. "Though I’m not sure I’ll be able…"

[lanaprewett]

Lana glances back over at Spencer, but not in time to notice where his gaze is directed. What she does pick up on is how quiet is voice has become, almost matching her own, and that the food has migrated around his plate but not past his lips. She rubs the pad of her thumb lovingly back and forth over his knuckle in a motion that always soothes her whenever he does it, "Thank you," She says quietly, hoping that he might be able to get some time off. Frankly, she thinks he needs it -- he's been looking more and more tired than usual lately, and it's starting to worry her. Lana leans forward, presses a kiss against his cheek. They've never been ones to shy away from PDA.

"Do you want to get out of here?" She asks, her voice lowered for just him to hear. 

[aseaofquotes]

Fannie Flagg, Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!

[spencerlahey]

"A new shoot?" Spencer’s eyebrows dart upward in question. "Where is it, then?" he adds curiously, giving her hand another squeeze. He takes a bite from the apple he’s been gnawing on for the past few minutes and thinks about last summer, when he’d owled her and she’d invited him to come see her in Snowdonia. They’d kissed for the first time then, out under the stars where it was quiet and the air was fresh. Spencer remembers being so happy that he thought his heart might burst, and a goofy grin registers on his lips as he reminisces.

[lanaprewett]

Realising she missed her turn, Lana squeezes back a little harder than necessary this time. She sighs in exasperation, "Norway. Tromsø specifically, so I'll be gone for a few days," She suddenly feels put off the fish -- strange, because it's one of her favourite things to eat -- and settles for pushing her vegetables around her plate, "From what I gathered, it's snowing there at the moment still. It's supposed to be really beautiful if, I don't know, you wanted to come for a bit..." She trails off, shrugging slightly. Lana doesn't know why she's making the conversation so stilted, but she does really want Spencer to come. A while back, he might've been able to, given his other duties were covered -- however, as Lana glances up at the Professors' table, she thinks that Headmaster Selwyn's generosity may only extend so far.

[spencerlahey]

"Nope, no double dates," he mumbles, a bit uncomfortable when Anissa comes up in the conversation. It’s bad enough seeing his ex-girlfriend around school—assisting Nicholas Cassidy, no less, but hearing Lana talk about her? It leaves him with embarrassment that borderlines guilt. “I’d rather not talk about her, though,” he points out frankly, though the small smile that upturns the corners of his mouth is meant to be reassuring. “Not with you.”

[lanaprewett]

"Okay," Lana mumbles quietly, feeling equally as bad for bringing it up. It doesn't really benefit both of them -- clearly it makes Spencer feel uncomfortable, and she herself gets irrationally upset and jealous, but she can't help it. A small, niggling part of her wants to know what they were like, what they did together. Despite her conversations with both Spencer and the less pleasant encounters with Anissa, there's a tiny part of her that feels she'll always be faulted on making Spencer wait and having never been the first girl he was with like that. She resists the urge to sigh, trying to search for a change of subject, "I might have another shoot coming up soon."

[spencerlahey]

"Oh, all the time," he assures her, partly because it’s true and partly because there’s something really cute about that preening thing she does. With an affirmative nod, Spencer squeezes her hand back—gently, of course—and begins to share a little anecdote: "Fourth year, before our voices even changed. I’d talk about you; he’d talk about Olyvia Hale—you know, that brown-haired girl with the really square jaw. Oh, and he’d blush at the mere mention of his own crooked jaw. He’s adorable that way, you know.”

[lanaprewett]

Lana grins at that, particularly the part about how their voices hadn't broken yet. It still astounds her whenever she hears how long Spencer's harboured feelings for her -- astounds her, and yet makes her feel guilty. She squeezes back a little gentler this time, "Olyvia Hale is very pretty," Lana comments, and her lips quirk up at the mention of Declan's unique facial structure. It's very distinct, but it suits him. She follows in a quiet voice, which could almost be mistaken for nonchalance if one didn't know better, "Did he have a girlfriend before you or -- you know, when you were with Anissa," She stabs a piece of fish with her fork to punctuate her name,"Did you have double dates?"

[spencerlahey]

"Can’t I love you both equally?" he teases, giving her a grin. He reaches for an apple with his free hand, long fingers curling around it before he takes a bite. "No, Jenna’s Asian of some sort. Likely at least partially Japanese, given her last name." He sighs, feigning wiping a tear away. "My boy’s growing up. I get so… so emotional just thinking about it."

[lanaprewett]

Lana squeezes his hand softly, knowing he'll squeeze back a moment later. It's a little game they play, to see who can squeeze the hardest -- Lana always wins because Spencer is always gentle, "And they both like each other?" She asks, her gaze now directed to the Gryffindor table. Declan's missing, but there's a pretty Asian girl sitting in the vicinity he usually does who looks vaguely familiar -- still, Lana doesn't want to be labelled a racist, so she won't point her out, "That's so sweet." Suddenly, her smile turns mischevious, "Did the pair of you used to stay up talking about your crushes?"

[spencerlahey]

"Declan is the cutest," Spencer says, imitating Lana’s preen. Moments later, he reaches under the table to take her hand, smiling like the puppy he is. "And Jenna? She’s a Gryffindor. Japanese girl, I think, or maybe she’s Korean. Or both. She’s… on the wrong side," he mumbles lowly, "but other than that, she seems pretty harmless."

[lanaprewett]

Lana laughs, "Have I got to start considering him competition? Because I'm seriously starting to think he'd have me beat, hands down," She lifts her hand up to bat his arm playfully the same moment that he tangles their fingers together, and immediately she settles, "Well, I don't think they were Korean or Japanese," She declares, "The girl who thought he was attractive looked Caribbean, but she could have lived in Japan or Korea."

[spencerlahey]

"Declan? Uhhh, no." He shakes his head, adding with a little smirk, "He’s been spending more time with Jenna lately. You know, Jenna Takeda? I think he likes her.” Like he’s been doing with his dad, Spencer is desperate to get Declan a girl too—then they can go on double dates, things like that.

[lanaprewett]

"Jenna Takeda," Lana hums, finally piercing a small, pink square of fish and popping it between her lips. She chews thoughtfully, of course only responding once she's finished swallowing, "What does she look like? I asked because I overheard these girls talking about him before Charms the other day in passing." She smiles knowingly, "One of them thought he was cute."

[oliverfinniganthomas-blog]

"I suppose…I don’t like conflict though." With a sigh, Oliver continued to stare at the various paintings that passed by. Living with horrendous social anxiety was difficult, and being caught in the middle of decisions made it skyrocket. As such, he tended to just avoid those situations all together by keeping his distance from people. Sure, it was kind of lonely, but…it kept him sane.

Granted, he didn’t stay away from people all the time - Spencer, his family, and now Lana, to name a few. You can’t be a hermit forever. 

"Yeah, it really is. We were just getting to studying Ashwinders and Hippocampus’ when the program was pulled. There’s still no explanation," with that statement, Oliver made a pouting face, "…I wanted to ride a Hippocampus."

[lanaprewett]

Lana's knowledge of magical creatures is fairly limited, due to her lack of interest -- one of the few areas she isn't at least partially knowledgeable in, shockingly. Still, she is well versed in Latin, so it's not too strenuous for her to work out a logical idea of what the animal may be. Thank Merlin for wizards and their affinity for the archaic language, "I'm not sure I'd be too inclined to agree. I doubt it'd be particularly sentient enough to allow you to ride it, and besides... all that salt water and that fish smell..." She wrinkles her nose, her derision clear, "Not for me."

[spencerlahey]

Spencer is honestly a bit impressed with that moment of suaveness on his part, and the goofy look on his face says it all. “… O-Oh," he mumbles, flushing somewhat bashfully. "Well, erm…" Aaaand those suave walls are, once again, crashing down, and he only just barely manages to splutter: "Well, thanks."

[lanaprewett]

Lana smirks at that, and once again, that odd tension manages to dissipate. Whilst she does very much approve of the new, confident Spencer, it was the stammering, earnest goofball that she fell in love with. Returning back to her food, Lana continues to cut up her piece of salmon into ridiculously small, bitesize pieces, "You're welcome," She adds sweetly, before a thought occurs to her, "Hey, have you spoken to Declan recently?"

[nateburkes-blog]

"What exactly is he playing at?" Victoire’s hand outstretches to snatch the notice off the door, her eyes hastily scanning over it once more. She silently seethes and wishes nothing more than to join Lana in her blatant anger, but decides against it in favour of a selection of calm and collected words: "I’m sure there’s something I can do. This is the third time he’s ditched this week."

[lanaprewett]

"Thank you!" Lana's voice is brimming with gratitude because finally, someone understands. She nods eagerly at Victoire's offer, caught up in her frustration and full conviction that Cassidy may be the worst teacher to ever grace the halls of his castle, "What could a Professor possibly be doing that's more important than teaching his students? The very least he could do was arrange some sort of substitute!"

[nateburkes-blog]

You alright there, Lana?

[lanaprewett]

Lana exhales angrily, glancing up to spot the Head Girl, "It's Cassidy again," She seethes, inclining her head towards the door they're both now stood in front of. Taped to the entrance of the Ancient Runes classroom is a notice that says that the class has been postponed, "Why does he think that the rules don't apply to him? What other Professor would go swanning off and abandon his NEWT class?" 

[spencerlahey]

"It’s a Spencer 2.0 thing," he says very seriously, though there’s something inside him that feels… warm, proud, when he mentions that. It’s something no one else at their table would understand, not even Declan.

[lanaprewett]

"I like it," Lana murmurs back, her voice pitched slightly lower than usual and much quieter than before. What she really means is that she finds it hot, but seeing as it's Lana, that's not the way she thinks, let alone speaks. The implications are there though, especially when her hand lingers a little longer than necessary and her smile is shy.