Hello, welcome in! :))))

just a gal who cashiers at a sporting goods store. made this blog to scream my work stories into the void

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Welcome to my blog, here's stuff about me I guess

You can call me Beth. I'm an American uni student who works retail on the weekends. I love my retail job because I'm autistic as hell and I like dull routine. More importantly, this job is my entire in person social life. There's always something crazy going on, whether with customers or coworkers. I've annoyed all my online friends with my constant stream of work stories, so now it's tumblrs turn to listen. >:3

All names I use are fake.

My profile picture is something I drew myself, my work bestie and I are making an OC universe featuring all our coworkers as characters so that is mine update work bestie has become my bf of 2+ years and the OC verse just kinda merged with his personal creative writing / world building project. My character is still the same concept lol. Header image also by me, it's my bf and me in my Sky COTL fanfic universe.

And no, I don't work at Dick's Sporting Goods. I work at a different chain. But cmon I can't NOT make a dick joke in my blog name, the opportunity was too good.

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Part 2 of Beth looking for better working conditions:

I've decided to voice my wage concerns to Storename Sporting Goods now, so if I leave they're not blindsided - and I can say, well I gave you a chance to make me a competitive offer. I'd take a slightly worse offer than outside to stay, cause I do get very consistent hours where I'm at, and I can't be sure I will elsewhere. But a significant difference would tip the scales.

Wage context: I used to make 70¢ above minimum wage in my state CA, but in 2025-2026 min wage went up but my pay didn't so I now make exactly minimum wage. After 4 years of working here that's a little insulting 🙃 even worse, Elliott makes the same as me (rock bottom) after 6 years 🙃🙃 but since I'm considering leaving while he isn't, I'm doing my negotiating first and then he'll get all the data from my efforts.

I talked to Scott yesterday who was in a way better mood than usual because he had coffee lmao. He was understanding of my request, still his slightly cranky self but not actively rude.

Today I had the opportunity to talk to Scott's boss's boss which is genuinely good. It was mostly about an unrelated hr concern with another manager, but he did say that my eval request was approved and Scott will get back to me about that. Though I won't fool myself into thinking the boss boss guy has my best interests at heart, he was at least more pleasant than Scott.

Also getting Elliott AND our salesguy homie Tyler fired up about negotiating for raises themselves. Tyler has been there about 4.5 years, after Elliott and I told him about this stuff today he was like "I kinda want in on that" he's rarely that serious but it's good to see him not shrug it off because he does deserve to be paid well too.

I'm most likely to seek other jobs amongst the three of us, which is why I'm negotiating my situation first. After I see what my current store, and the other places I'm applying, offer me in the end, I will let the guys know every detail so they can be well equipped to have the same conversation :3

In conclusion, I love being the bitch who openly talks wages with her coworkers and sends emails accurately citing California labor laws because I'm getting shit done! Will much come of it? Probably not! But one way or another I will make more money and assert my worth >:)

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

My eval is today right when I start my shift (~3 hours from now) let's wish for big money big respect 🍀

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

$17.05. (Prev $16.90 and that's current ca min). And my eval feedback was that I'm consistently above average in most metrics.

By their own admission, the company offers up to $17.50 for my position. So I'm writing this email.

Scott was implying that the company is too bwoke owo to affowd a bettew waise fow mee uwu. Which is either Scott dodging accountability, or the company's posted range being in bad faith (in violation of labor code), so I'm like aight Scott get me someone else to talk to.

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Part 2 of Beth looking for better working conditions:

I've decided to voice my wage concerns to Storename Sporting Goods now, so if I leave they're not blindsided - and I can say, well I gave you a chance to make me a competitive offer. I'd take a slightly worse offer than outside to stay, cause I do get very consistent hours where I'm at, and I can't be sure I will elsewhere. But a significant difference would tip the scales.

Wage context: I used to make 70¢ above minimum wage in my state CA, but in 2025-2026 min wage went up but my pay didn't so I now make exactly minimum wage. After 4 years of working here that's a little insulting 🙃 even worse, Elliott makes the same as me (rock bottom) after 6 years 🙃🙃 but since I'm considering leaving while he isn't, I'm doing my negotiating first and then he'll get all the data from my efforts.

I talked to Scott yesterday who was in a way better mood than usual because he had coffee lmao. He was understanding of my request, still his slightly cranky self but not actively rude.

Today I had the opportunity to talk to Scott's boss's boss which is genuinely good. It was mostly about an unrelated hr concern with another manager, but he did say that my eval request was approved and Scott will get back to me about that. Though I won't fool myself into thinking the boss boss guy has my best interests at heart, he was at least more pleasant than Scott.

Also getting Elliott AND our salesguy homie Tyler fired up about negotiating for raises themselves. Tyler has been there about 4.5 years, after Elliott and I told him about this stuff today he was like "I kinda want in on that" he's rarely that serious but it's good to see him not shrug it off because he does deserve to be paid well too.

I'm most likely to seek other jobs amongst the three of us, which is why I'm negotiating my situation first. After I see what my current store, and the other places I'm applying, offer me in the end, I will let the guys know every detail so they can be well equipped to have the same conversation :3

In conclusion, I love being the bitch who openly talks wages with her coworkers and sends emails accurately citing California labor laws because I'm getting shit done! Will much come of it? Probably not! But one way or another I will make more money and assert my worth >:)

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

My eval is today right when I start my shift (~3 hours from now) let's wish for big money big respect 🍀

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Elliott and I have a running bit called "she's the girl of my dreams, Shadow!" It's derived from a quote from snapcube's sonic 06 fandub: "she's got skin, and hands, that are small and dainty, and can fit in a butthole...she's the girl of my dreams, Shadow!"

I do in fact have small and dainty hands, though their butthole fitting remains untested. Anytime I make an offhand comment about the size of my hands, Elliott starts quoting the snapcube quote. I lovingly make intense eye contact, and he inevitably starts stammering and blushing around "small and dainty" and gets too flustered to ever get to the butthole line. It's adorable 🤭

Today he started quoting it in front of our work bestie Tyler, I basically dared Elliott to get all the way through the line and he did! So proud!

The best part is , when he does actually get past the word butthole, he's very eager to make loving eye contact while saying "she's the girl of my dreams, Shadow!" ❤️

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

To the people who came to the door a full TEN MINUTES after we closed, and had the audacity to KNOCK even though our hours are posted on the door:

Your feigned confusion about what time it currently is does NOT change the fact that I can't and won't let you in. I can't believe I had to come to the door and SHOW YOU the time on my phone, only for you to say "oh huh the clock in our car said it was still 9:30" I don't believe you because it's unrealistic for you to never notice that your car clock is >10 minutes off. But also there's no "customers clock was wrong so we reopen everything just for their special royal highnesses" policy. Fuckass bastards.

[wheelie-sick]

apsychotic (not psychotic) autistic people- you have more in common with the average schizospec person than a neurotypical

[nacricissa]

Hullo not to pry but I am curious

What fun* traits do we share?

*traits need not be fun

[wheelie-sick]

there are quite a few, especially because the schizophrenia spectrum consists of several different disorders that have different (but similar) symptoms.

autism actually used to be considered a type of schizophrenia several versions of the DSM back!

Just looking at schizophrenia- it can cause things like a flat effect, echolalia, trouble discerning social norms, trouble reading other people's emotions, cognitive difficulties, social withdrawal, inflexible concrete thinking, and much else.

a lot of allistic people on the schizospec are mistaken for being autistic

[wheelie-sick]

#i seem to remember reading recently something about the possibility of schizophrenia#being considered a neurodevelopmental disorder like autism/adhd are already understood#rather than ‘just’ a ‘mental illness’#anyway good post

picking out this little section of your tags to say yes, you're right!

here's a link to a paper about it

here's a link to the pdf in a google drive in case that link isn't working

it's a short paper and not particularly full of jargon so if you're curious I'd definitely recommend reading it! it also mentions the mad pride movement which makes me incredibly happy

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Posting about my internship??? Why not ig

Thought on my commute: "being HIPAA certified is being forklift certified but for desk workers 😎"

Processed an elderly former clients file today that listed "agender" and a year later listed "cis female" I hope they're well whoever they are and I lowk suspect that whoever updated their file didn't check with them about their gender :( but anyway enby seniors do exist and I occasionally get to file paperwork about them

I filed the client info for a guy who was on my survey call list months ago and I was like I know you 👀🫵

A client's note that they had cancer was followed by "type: breast" and my dumb ass didn't see the cancer bit and went "ayy tiddies are my type tooo but I do understand what the ass people mean when- oh nvm"

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Part 2 of Beth looking for better working conditions:

I've decided to voice my wage concerns to Storename Sporting Goods now, so if I leave they're not blindsided - and I can say, well I gave you a chance to make me a competitive offer. I'd take a slightly worse offer than outside to stay, cause I do get very consistent hours where I'm at, and I can't be sure I will elsewhere. But a significant difference would tip the scales.

Wage context: I used to make 70¢ above minimum wage in my state CA, but in 2025-2026 min wage went up but my pay didn't so I now make exactly minimum wage. After 4 years of working here that's a little insulting 🙃 even worse, Elliott makes the same as me (rock bottom) after 6 years 🙃🙃 but since I'm considering leaving while he isn't, I'm doing my negotiating first and then he'll get all the data from my efforts.

I talked to Scott yesterday who was in a way better mood than usual because he had coffee lmao. He was understanding of my request, still his slightly cranky self but not actively rude.

Today I had the opportunity to talk to Scott's boss's boss which is genuinely good. It was mostly about an unrelated hr concern with another manager, but he did say that my eval request was approved and Scott will get back to me about that. Though I won't fool myself into thinking the boss boss guy has my best interests at heart, he was at least more pleasant than Scott.

Also getting Elliott AND our salesguy homie Tyler fired up about negotiating for raises themselves. Tyler has been there about 4.5 years, after Elliott and I told him about this stuff today he was like "I kinda want in on that" he's rarely that serious but it's good to see him not shrug it off because he does deserve to be paid well too.

I'm most likely to seek other jobs amongst the three of us, which is why I'm negotiating my situation first. After I see what my current store, and the other places I'm applying, offer me in the end, I will let the guys know every detail so they can be well equipped to have the same conversation :3

In conclusion, I love being the bitch who openly talks wages with her coworkers and sends emails accurately citing California labor laws because I'm getting shit done! Will much come of it? Probably not! But one way or another I will make more money and assert my worth >:)

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Well I didn't think this day would be here so soon...

I'm trying to quit Storename Sporting Goods!

I'm not completely sure I will but the idea is very appealing. I've applied to a nearby jewelry store and I'm really optimistic about my chances of success. Please wish me luck 🙏

In the end, it wasn't the customers or a falling out with my beloved coworkers...it was increasing difficulty working under mgr Scott (store boss) partly because he's much more demanding of the women he hires than the men. And the pay, oh yeah. Definitely the pay too.

I mentioned a bit ago that my email signups were struggling unusually, I was trying to ask Scott for advice on pushing emails with the recent promos that exclude email offers and his immediate response was "well I can show you the stats that more than half the staff has 30% conversion rate [context: better than me]" I said Scott. That is not what I asked. He walked away all huffy, came back 5 minutes later to give the most nothingburger advice, mansplain, and call it "interesting" that I was still struggling even though I'm doing the same stuff that gets me better rates normally. He also denied me when I asked to take this convo to the office because I was getting uncomfortable trying to defend myself in front of my coworkers at the register area.

When Jane and I were telling Elliott about this later, he was all "then how come nobody has asked me to get better rates?" [He's not an official cashier per se but he is authorized and trained to ring up customers on the registers] and Jane said "Scott doesn't want non cashiers ringing people up at all because they don't get emails like at all" and Elliott was like "first of all, I'm not doing it for fun, I'm doing it when we're BUSY or Beth is on break or overwhelmed. Second, again how is that info not being told directly to me but Beth gets pestered about her rates three shifts in a row?"

Elliott I love you. I really hope that my excursions to Storename Sporting Goods someday soon will be purely as your girlfriend and not as an employee.

But yeah it's been an unpleasant work environment to say the least :) Jane has been getting a lot of pointless flack too, like when she was like "Scott I'm proud that I got the large amount of sale ad signs put up in one shift 😊" he said "you mean the task you were supposed to do?" and then nitpicked how she did it. A couple days later he fished for praise from her because he put up all the signs for the July 4 promo and bless her soul she did not give it to him 🤭 poor Jane doesn't think she'd be hirable elsewhere tho, she's all "with my young kids I'm not sure a different store could accommodate my schedule 🥲" please Jane try and run away to the jewelry store across the street with me

Oh yeah, and this jewelry stores minimum starting hourly offer for the position I applied for is +20 cents compared to what I make after four YEARS at Storename Sporting Goods. It's a position I need 2 years of retail experience to be qualified for, so I couldn't have gotten it 4 years ago, but most of my "raises" at my current location have been adjustments to keep up with city min wage law changes. If you don't factor in the legally required segments of my raises, for every YEAR that I've worked there, I've seen ten cents added to my hourly wage. So, after 4 years my "performance based raises" total 40 cents.

Please please please wish me luck I really hope it works out!!!! I'll keep y'all posted 🫶

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

And the inevitable "self indulgent Elliott simping" part of my post: the jewelry store's ai recruiting agent (Jesus why do I have to talk to an ai to get a job 😭) would nottttt accept my legal last name because it includes the word "cock" and please ai agent I wish I was trolling omg. So my elegant solution was "my name is Elizabeth [Elliotts beautiful normal last name], but please note that it will become my legal last name only after I am married." No I don't have a wedding date because I'm not engaged but we agree it's what we want to do so I'm not wronggggg

Elliott thought it was an endearing solution :3

I really hope I can get this job, for all the other reasons and I think that it would be sweet (and cost effective) to get proposed to with a ring from my workplace 🤭 especially because their engagement rings are lab grown diamonds. Yes my lovesick ass looked at the website for those. And my pragmatic ass finds frugality, practicality, and lab grown diamonds the most romantic things of all (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Well I didn't think this day would be here so soon...

I'm trying to quit Storename Sporting Goods!

I'm not completely sure I will but the idea is very appealing. I've applied to a nearby jewelry store and I'm really optimistic about my chances of success. Please wish me luck 🙏

In the end, it wasn't the customers or a falling out with my beloved coworkers...it was increasing difficulty working under mgr Scott (store boss) partly because he's much more demanding of the women he hires than the men. And the pay, oh yeah. Definitely the pay too.

I mentioned a bit ago that my email signups were struggling unusually, I was trying to ask Scott for advice on pushing emails with the recent promos that exclude email offers and his immediate response was "well I can show you the stats that more than half the staff has 30% conversion rate [context: better than me]" I said Scott. That is not what I asked. He walked away all huffy, came back 5 minutes later to give the most nothingburger advice, mansplain, and call it "interesting" that I was still struggling even though I'm doing the same stuff that gets me better rates normally. He also denied me when I asked to take this convo to the office because I was getting uncomfortable trying to defend myself in front of my coworkers at the register area.

When Jane and I were telling Elliott about this later, he was all "then how come nobody has asked me to get better rates?" [He's not an official cashier per se but he is authorized and trained to ring up customers on the registers] and Jane said "Scott doesn't want non cashiers ringing people up at all because they don't get emails like at all" and Elliott was like "first of all, I'm not doing it for fun, I'm doing it when we're BUSY or Beth is on break or overwhelmed. Second, again how is that info not being told directly to me but Beth gets pestered about her rates three shifts in a row?"

Elliott I love you. I really hope that my excursions to Storename Sporting Goods someday soon will be purely as your girlfriend and not as an employee.

But yeah it's been an unpleasant work environment to say the least :) Jane has been getting a lot of pointless flack too, like when she was like "Scott I'm proud that I got the large amount of sale ad signs put up in one shift 😊" he said "you mean the task you were supposed to do?" and then nitpicked how she did it. A couple days later he fished for praise from her because he put up all the signs for the July 4 promo and bless her soul she did not give it to him 🤭 poor Jane doesn't think she'd be hirable elsewhere tho, she's all "with my young kids I'm not sure a different store could accommodate my schedule 🥲" please Jane try and run away to the jewelry store across the street with me

Oh yeah, and this jewelry stores minimum starting hourly offer for the position I applied for is +20 cents compared to what I make after four YEARS at Storename Sporting Goods. It's a position I need 2 years of retail experience to be qualified for, so I couldn't have gotten it 4 years ago, but most of my "raises" at my current location have been adjustments to keep up with city min wage law changes. If you don't factor in the legally required segments of my raises, for every YEAR that I've worked there, I've seen ten cents added to my hourly wage. So, after 4 years my "performance based raises" total 40 cents.

Please please please wish me luck I really hope it works out!!!! I'll keep y'all posted 🫶

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Worked with Elliott and Luke tonight, here's a collection of misc conversations that made me crack up

~

[overheard by me while I was putting merch away]

Luke: ew I'm not touching that anymore

Elliott: why, what did I say? [A/N it was definitely an innuendo that he said. Idk what but I know.]

~

Luke: what is this foam water gun doing up here and not in summer department?

Me: Elliott brought it up to make fart noises with again.

Luke: I should've guessed

Luke: ...I'm gonna hide it somewhere he'll never find

Me: I don't think you can pull that off, Elliott has a sense of where that is at all times

Me: but if he looks for it I'll just. Tell him you hid it. My loyalty is not evenly distributed.

Luke: mhm that tracks

Me: but he probably won't go asking around for it. And then I have no reason to tell him you hid it.

Luke: also tracks

*he walks away and returns without the fart noise maker*

Me: you put it exactly where it's supposed to go didn't you.

Luke: I put it exactly where it's supposed to go.

Me: Elliott will never find it now

~

Luke: *showing me Instagram reels on his phone*

Me: hold on I wanna see the one you scrolled past.

Luke: *obliges* *it's a meme that says "me when I tell bro he'd look cute as a girl"*

Me: I think it's great that your algorithm does that.

[a/n he's an autistic cishet guy but his Instagram friends are one of those homoerotic straight male friend groups]

Me: i also think it's great that you're not trying to pretend your algorithm ISN'T doing that. Though I know the algorithm isn't you, it's bc your friends like and share femboy posts

Luke: yeah

~

Not an employee specific conversation but still funny-

Guy who was definitely a little unhinged: *walking towards the door* hey your store is shitty.

Me: ..

Him, not joking in the slightest: yeah so shitty

Me, simultaneously awkward and sarcastic: I don't know what to do with that information :) bye!

Him: bye!

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

The simping stories I said in the last tags I'd post--

~

Customer: *is waiting to be rung up and clearly has assumed Elliott, who is standing across from my register chatting with me, is also a customer*

Me: I can ring you up sir! He's actually my coworker

Me to Elliott afterwards: a more accurate version of what I said to the guy would be, if I said the word "coworker" with like. A bunch of sexual tension

~

Elliott: *is trying to fix a cardboard box that keeps coming open*

Me: do you want tape?

Elliott: nah I'm being such a guy about this lmao

The box: *pops open yet again*

Elliott: yeah ok I will accept some tape

Me: see this is why I love you. Even when you're "being a guy" about something you don't have such an ego about it that you try and force your original idea if it doesn't work

Elliott: lol yeah when I say that sorta thing about myself I'm trying to be funny

Me: I know silly, I'm just saying...you're a man in all the right ways :>

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Worked with Elliott and Luke tonight, here's a collection of misc conversations that made me crack up

~

[overheard by me while I was putting merch away]

Luke: ew I'm not touching that anymore

Elliott: why, what did I say? [A/N it was definitely an innuendo that he said. Idk what but I know.]

~

Luke: what is this foam water gun doing up here and not in summer department?

Me: Elliott brought it up to make fart noises with again.

Luke: I should've guessed

Luke: ...I'm gonna hide it somewhere he'll never find

Me: I don't think you can pull that off, Elliott has a sense of where that is at all times

Me: but if he looks for it I'll just. Tell him you hid it. My loyalty is not evenly distributed.

Luke: mhm that tracks

Me: but he probably won't go asking around for it. And then I have no reason to tell him you hid it.

Luke: also tracks

*he walks away and returns without the fart noise maker*

Me: you put it exactly where it's supposed to go didn't you.

Luke: I put it exactly where it's supposed to go.

Me: Elliott will never find it now

~

Luke: *showing me Instagram reels on his phone*

Me: hold on I wanna see the one you scrolled past.

Luke: *obliges* *it's a meme that says "me when I tell bro he'd look cute as a girl"*

Me: I think it's great that your algorithm does that.

[a/n he's an autistic cishet guy but his Instagram friends are one of those homoerotic straight male friend groups]

Me: i also think it's great that you're not trying to pretend your algorithm ISN'T doing that. Though I know the algorithm isn't you, it's bc your friends like and share femboy posts

Luke: yeah

~

Not an employee specific conversation but still funny-

Guy who was definitely a little unhinged: *walking towards the door* hey your store is shitty.

Me: ..

Him, not joking in the slightest: yeah so shitty

Me, simultaneously awkward and sarcastic: I don't know what to do with that information :) bye!

Him: bye!

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Actual Top Tier Insane Shit went down tonight at the store. Not "threat to our safety" insane or Karen type stuff but "what the actual fuck is going on with this guy" insane. Under the cut so I don't take up someone's whole dash on accident but trust me it's worth it

Dude comes in. By outfit alone he's already bananas. Slacks, slides, a blazer with the ends tied together like a cowgirl tying her button up shirt ends, and a football jersey.

My manager Luke is ringing this guy up at the knife/ammo/airsoft counter, guy is buying like a $10 flashlight. Guy doesn't find his card in his pocket, he goes outside and comes back with three large wallets. It becomes increasingly clear that everything inside each wallet is stolen.

An ABSURD amount of credit cards. None of them work. Guy is coming up with nonsensical reasons for it, such as "I just got this card [it's all dirty and dinged up, so no] and they [who???] WENT BACK IN TIME [????? ] put charges on it so I can't use it". Multiple drivers licenses that have someone else's picture. A picture of a 20something woman, which the guy explains away with "that's my ex girlfriend." A passport, which the guy FLIPS OPEN to the page where it has the picture of whoever this passport belongs to. Guy haphazardly tries to close it back up when he notices that he might've let poor Luke see this suspicious thing...as if that's the only thing that blew his cover.

Meanwhile I'm ringing up customers at the main register area. A customer comes back inside to turn in a katana he found sitting in the parking lot (we do sell some crappy katanas and this was one lol). Customer says no other belongings or identifying info was near it. I say thank you we will hold onto this and see if anyone comes to claim it :)

I then go to near where Luke is because the crazy guy spilled some juice on the floor too. While I'm cleaning it Luke passes me a note saying "he's using stolen credit cards." Guy leaves shortly after that, with the $10 flashlight that he never actually paid for because none of his cards work. He might've thought that card attempt number 846357524245 worked tho, because he was blase enough that it didn't seem like he was trying to sneak out with it. We decide a $10 flashlight is the least of our problems here, and just shrug it off. I inform Luke about the turned in katana, and then he goes to the office to tell the police about crazy guy.

About 15 minutes later the crazy guy comes BACK. Luke and I are both at the registers, the guy tells us both "I had a katana sitting outside and it's gone, did you see anyone take it or know what happened?"

Now, Luke and I are both fairly autistic. Rarely can we effectively intuit or telepathically communicate so to speak. But for once in our lives we are on the exact same wavelength, and wordlessly agree: we're not giving this guy that katana.

The guy says he has a receipt, we never end up seeing the receipt but that wouldn't change our decision. A beautiful perfect receipt does not make up for the fact that he's got more red flags than a communist parade.

We both feign ignorance about all things katana related. Guy asks if our security cameras caught anything and we say we don't know and we can't really go check anyway. He says "well I'll file a police report, so they can get the footage."

Hmm, my dude you miiiiiiiight not wanna do that. Don't think the police will really cozy up to you.

He says "I bought the katana here earlier, but I left it outside so I could honor the store." ???? Like I think he was trying to say he didn't want to cause confusion by walking out holding a product we didn't ring him up for in that moment, but like. If you have the receipt like you said, you're all good. That's actually better for everyone than if you leave your crap outside in a sketchy area, dude.

He tries to buy a soda at my register, and goes through the exact same card process that he did trying to buy the flashlight from Luke. The customer behind him ends up paying for the soda, and he leaves.

I kinda hope he *does* try to report his missing katana, cause if the cops ask for our surveillance footage we'll go well ☝️ we actually called you guys yesterday to report this guy for using stolen credit cards. Funny he thought you guys would help him lol

He's easily top 10 craziest guys I've seen. In a better world he'd be top 1, but nahhhh I've seen a LOT 😭

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

In positive news, I got my third customer service pin at work today!

My store's company has a customer service telephone hotline and website feedback form, which isn't just for complaints-- customers can give positive comments about specific employees as well! These comments are sent to the manager of whatever store is specified in the review, and each employee has a file that their compliments go into.

When my boss is feeling fancy, he'll print them for the employee to keep for their own records or whatever (though in theory an employee could ask for a copy of what's been filed. I think. Nobody really explains this.)

I'm not sure if every compliment awards a pin, or just certain ones, but for months the store was out of pins so nobody was getting any. The pins just got restocked, and I got one today!

I have a fabric flower on my lanyard (a cartoony one with a smiley face), and my goal is to fill all five petals with pins. Now I'm more than halfway there!

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Update nobody asked for: we're out of pins again but between this post and then, I got 6 more pins for a total of 9! Fabric flower is full, I acquired a second fabric flower and that ones also almost full too :D

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

Update even fewer people asked for: the tenth petal contains the Player 2 half of my "Player 1/Player 2" heart pin set (Elliott has Player 1 obviously.) because I consider it just as much of badge of honor to have good taste in nerdy men 🤭

[large-penises-sporting-goods]

In positive news, I got my third customer service pin at work today!

My store's company has a customer service telephone hotline and website feedback form, which isn't just for complaints-- customers can give positive comments about specific employees as well! These comments are sent to the manager of whatever store is specified in the review, and each employee has a file that their compliments go into.

When my boss is feeling fancy, he'll print them for the employee to keep for their own records or whatever (though in theory an employee could ask for a copy of what's been filed. I think. Nobody really explains this.)

I'm not sure if every compliment awards a pin, or just certain ones, but for months the store was out of pins so nobody was getting any. The pins just got restocked, and I got one today!

I have a fabric flower on my lanyard (a cartoony one with a smiley face), and my goal is to fill all five petals with pins. Now I'm more than halfway there!

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Update nobody asked for: we're out of pins again but between this post and then, I got 6 more pins for a total of 9! Fabric flower is full, I acquired a second fabric flower and that ones also almost full too :D

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Finally Beth updates her pfp :0 here's the full fanart of Elliotts OCs of me and him :3 mine is inspired by NMBC Sally ofc and his is loosely inspired by Chaz from helluva boss!

Got lazy on the bg but that's ok xD

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Y'all

Remember all the posts I've made on this blog that are just me simping for Elliott my coworker crush?

Well

HE CONFESSED FEELINGS FOR ME TONIGHT

LET'S GO BABES!!!!

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Update: just celebrated a year together! Couldn't be happier 🥰

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Shit I forgot to reblog this the day of, but 2 years and counting!!! Happy as ever!! 🥰