I have this one white friend.
And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, Iโm not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] Sheโs not even my friend, sheโs just someone I know. Okay, whatever, โkay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and sheโs like,
โJenny, what are you?โ and, you know, thatโs like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] โwhat FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously youโre not from here.โย And Iโm like, โum, Iโm Chinese.โ
And sheโs like โWhat? Youโre Chinese?โ
And Iโm like, โYeah, I donโt know why thatโs so much of a surprise.โ
And sheโs like โWell, I thought you said you were Asian.โ
And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese areโฆ I, I canโt, I canโt, I canโt evenโฆ you know, whatever.
So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: โYou know, China, China, you see, the country that Iโm from, is a part of Asia.โ
And sheโs like, โWhereโs Asia?โ
[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.
And I say, โWell, Asia consists of, you know..โ and I list the different Asian countries and sheโs like โWhaat?โ
And Iโm like [sarcastically] itโs, itโs this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. Itโs a continent! And sheโs like โA continent?โ
And Iโm like โYes.โ
And she goes, โso itโs not a country?โ
And sheโs like โWhatโs the difference?โ
And Iโm like [deep breath] โAmerica, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but theyโre also Canadianโฆโ
And sheโs like โI donโt understand.โ
And Iโm like โItโs okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chineseโ and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.โ
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