Some things we can't get back

vent/trauma blog ◇ he/him ◇ 20 ◇ shut me up by blacklisting 🍰.txt

[nevver]

[undomestication]

Sarah Kane, Phaedra’s Love

[crackedporcelaindoll]

why do you get to be okay?

[barrenghost]

only rb if you’re traumatized

[dog-teeth]

dog teeth #321

[maddox-rider]

Hello darkness my old friend…

[324432463552434565435241354-dea]

trigger warning: breakfast by anonymous

[traumatizedfawn]

behind closed doors

[septic-child]

[cocsa-survivors]

surviving abuse at an early age leaves many people feeling like they aren’t able to appropriately form connections with other people. some people form attachments too quickly, while others are avoidant of relationships. both of these responses are normal, and neither mean that you’re broken! over time, these can change as you recover.

[chillin-likeavillainnn]

[hospitalroom]

Me: hey you fucking abused me

My abuser:

[furiousgoldfish]

things abuse survivors think/say

maybe my trauma wasn’t bad enough

maybe what happened was just my fault??

but what if I can’t hold that person accountable? what if they meant well

what if I don’t have the right to be angry?

but what if they didn’t know they were hurting me? maybe its my fault for not saying it

it’s my fault, i’ve always been hiding how badly things hurt me

i’m just weak and pathetic and everything hurts me it’s not their fault i’m like this

hey this this thing actually happen or did i make that up

if i ask abuser they’ll tell me i made it up that must be true they do say i’m delusional

maybe if I’ve done something differently this wouldn’t have happened

guilt guilt guilt guilt

what if abuser is right tho? what if they’re telling the truth and it’s okay to tell it in insults then?

i’m garbage, i knew it

yeah everyone deserves compassion and comfort but me? no.

I am the sole person who is just bad enough to deserve everything that has happened to me

no this person didn’t mean to hurt my feelings i’m just too sensitive!!!

maybe someone else wouldn’t be hurt by this, this means its my fault

i hate myself

how long until everyone realizes i’m just a fake and there’s nothing valuable inside of me

yeah they like me now but i’m going to fuck it up and they’ll hate me like everyone else

was that abuse? no it can’t be. its my fault. if I wasn’t the way I am it wouldn’t have happened

everything people do to me is just what I deserved

what this person is doing bothers me so I have to try harder not to be bothered by it

this person is wrong but everyone believes them so it must be okay

yeah they hate me but i don’t want them to leave me maybe i can get them to hate me less

yeah this person is hurting me but i still need them in my life maybe if i change myself

it doesn’t matter if they hurt me, i’m used to it

what if everyone abandons me and I die alone

this person scares me but I can’t let that affect me

I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I need to get over my feelings

I can’t let anyone notice how I feel or they will hate me

how does everyone just stay calm? why can’t I do that

I’m a burden on everyone, I bet they’d all be happier if I wasn’t there

if I disappeared right now wouldn’t everything be better?

*these are not truths, this is after-effect of long term abuse

[boyburning]

you are more than your abuse

(also I’m aware I spelled trauma wrong lol)

[furiousgoldfish]

spending hours and hours crying as a child knowing that nobody will ever know or care for what you’re going thru leaves a scar

[strawberrigag-deactivated202203]

[liz-cat-meow-deactivated2020011]