spectre one

kanan jarrus || thirty-three || @imperialshq

[lastpxdawan]

wrongsyndulla​:

this can’t really last, jacen knows. even if the technology that brought them back is permanent and they stay… jacen isn’t the son hera wanted, and he doubts he’d be the son kanan would want. but for now, it’s nice to pretend. nice to just… let himself feel like a child, resting everything on his father’s shoulders with this hug. just for a moment or two. “you… really?” he asks, a little surprised at the offer. pulling back from the hug, jacen tugs the lightsaber off his belt again, looking down at it for a moment. he didn’t go to skywalker’s jedi school for a reason, but… to train with his father is a different story. “i’ve - had absolutely no training. i was more focused on piloting with mum than.. wanting to be a jedi.” he explains with a touch of guilt. “but i think - i’d like that. if you really want me to keep it.”

the sense of guilt that jacen clearly felt was obvious. it practically wafted off of him. that... certainly wasn’t his intention. he didn’t... he didn’t expect jacen to follow in his footsteps. he hadn’t wanted him to. not only the danger it implied but... he had wanted him to be his own person. he knew that from when he first sensed him. he let out a breath, shaking his head, “there’s nothing wrong with that. i don’t think any less of you, jacen,” he stated plainly, a small smile on his lips, “but if you’re interested... i’d love to teach you, just... even basic skills for protection. you don’t have to become a jedi or anything. i-- i’m not expecting that of you. it’s not everyone’s path.”

[lastpxdawan]

lkskywalker​:

luke chuckles at the truth behind kanan’s joke, understanding how close the rebels could have come to complete disaster with even the slightest downturn of luck in their fight against the empire. he has a sudden, vivid memory of darth vader asking luke to join him and rule the galaxy together, and luke instead letting himself fall through space, trusting luck and the force to guide him through piping shafts, towards either narrow salvation or death in the clouds. “i am grateful for my share in that secret helping hand,” he says. “but yes, i remember hearing about you and the other spectres from members of the phoenix squad.”

kanan let out a chuckle at his comment, smiling some. he was glad that he didn’t take the force too seriously, from appearances. that could... get one in trouble. to put too much trust in it or... power. it could corrupt. “you should be, many wish they had that, luck,” he joked some, letting out a breath at his comment. it... worried him. what had happened to the rest of them. he couldn’t fix that now. a tight smile pulled at his lips, “good things, i hope. we caused our share of problems for them.” 

[lastpxdawan]

inspiringgreatness​:

ahsoka certainly hopes kanan isn’t serious. that’s not a life she’d like him to go back to. she didn’t know him in that stage in his life, but ahsoka doesn’t want to see him fall that way again. she knows he’s stronger than that.

it worries her, though. to know that this is.. how he’s feeling.

“you better not be. i don’t want to see what hera would do to you, if you started drinking again.” ahsoka jokes kindly, squeezing kanan’s shoulder. she can hardly blame him, for feeling like this. it’s… a lot to go through, being back here, living through all of this. “i know, kanan. i’m glad to have you here, too.” she agrees with a smile as her hand falls to her side again. all of those who fought in the resistance last time understand this is hard, but for them.. it’s a different kind of difficult. “i know this isn’t easy. but it is something we can get through.”

it wasn’t a life kanan missed anymore. well, usually not. there was something nice about the dull... nothingness of the force that he felt from time to time. it wasn’t overwhelming. but he was too far away from that, he relied too much on the force now to simply step away. 

there was just... something now. there was too much he didn’t want to think about. too much he was avoiding. the fate of his family, it reminded him too much of the jedi purge, in a way. 

he appreciated her jesting at his comment, chuckling, he nodded some, “oh it wouldn’t be pretty, i know that much,” he replied back, tilting his head up towards hers. she understood... she always seemed to be able to. he sighed, “I know, and we will. just... exhausting, isn’t it? to always be in this situation.” 

[lastpxdawan]

wrongsyndulla​:

there are so many things out there jacen has blamed over the years, for the loss of both of his parents. but they had never been on that list. kanan could never be on that list. the man saved jacen’s life before he was even born, how could he ever blame kanan for what he did? “dad -” before jacen can say any of that, before he can say anything he’s pulled into another hug, and… kriff, he definitely doesn’t mind. not even a little. wrapping his arms around kanan, he holds onto his father probably a little too tight, just - so relieved to have a chance to hug him at all. to be able to… know his father, finally. after so long. “you’re welcome, dad. i’m.. i’m really glad, too.” letting out a breath, jacen rests his head against his father’s shoulder. “you sure you don’t want this lightsaber back? i really have no idea how to use it.”

kanan would be fine with staying like this. perhaps with hera here as well, this was like... a dream. not something he expected to happen at least. he let out a breath, closing his eyes just... wanting to take this in in case. in case something... something happened again. he let out a chuckle at his comment, “i’m sure. it’s yours now, I want you to keep it,” he paused some, “I could show you... if you want.” 

[lastpxdawan]

rixharen​:

whoever this man is, there’s something about him, about the way the force moves around him, that’s too familiar of the old jedi order. those who had failed the galaxy in the first place, who had allowed sidious the space and freedom to succeed with his plans.

oh, this should be fun.

he doesn’t take his lightsabers just yet, waiting to see just how his new opponent reacts. surely he hasn’t followed rix all this way just to talk. “is that so? that’s very.. un-jedi of you. what would you say is your day job, then?” raising an eyebrow, rix laughs at the comment. “amusing, but no. we do tend to have other interests than simple torment.”

ah, the typical question. boring lines of questioning, typical of a jedi. it doesn’t surprise him in the slightest, that the man would - once again - ask the wrong questions. “does that ever work? when have you ever said that and had your opponent spill their plans?” shaking his head, rix can’t help but smirk. “i believe it’s my turn to ask a question. you clearly went to some almost impressive lengths to follow me all the way here, one can only assume it’s your dogmatic jedi need to fight any sith you come across. did you really believe this was an encounter you would come out of unscathed?”

“day job? used to be babysitting,” he said duly. being a jedi had always just... been something there. it took up some time, especially when training ezra but... he saw himself as more than that. especially with the jedi order gone. a rebel fighter was cliche, but that’s what it was it. he was part of hera’s crew and that’s... what’s what he was. 

now it was just... complicated.

“well, i’d say that’s rather un-sith like of you, from my experience. so i guess we’re both just anomalys, yeah?” he was trying to get a better read on the man, two lightsabers, he could sense that. but if he was going to use them? that was... murky. 

he hoped not. he doubted his blaster would work out well in a fight like this. 

kanan shrugged, “it’s always something i hope will work. makes things a lot easier, at least for me,” he commented, pausing at his question, an eyebrow reason, “my dogmatic jedi need-- right,” he crossed his arms over his chest, “i wasn’t hoping for a fight. you’re just.. .new.” 

[lastpxdawan]

rixharen​:

rix may no longer be an ally of the sith who control the galaxy, but he’s no friend to the jedi either. and as well as this man might hide his presence, at this proximity it’s impossible to mask completely, especially given rix’s training.

he watches the man with a cautious curiosity. he isn’t like the few from this time, who claim to be jedi. there’s something.. different about him. perhaps he’s one of those brought through to this time, as rix had been. curious.

“oh, how fascinating. a jedi, looking to socialise? i was lead to believe your kind were far too focused on your peacekeeping for social lives.” he answers, eyes not leaving the man despite his gesture. “well then, by all means. if you weren’t here for a fight, let’s talk. to follow me here, you must’ve had some questions in mind.”

kanan was technically a jedi knight. that being said, he wasn’t necesssarily a conventional one. he was light, that was clear, but he wouldn’t say he followed the jedi code. not... exactly anyways. but this man was clearly a sith. 

clearly meant some sort of trouble. 

he was way to tired for these guys to still be around. 

kanan kept himself on guard, trying to gather what he could from the man, he was heavily guarded but not impossible to read. 

he laughed a bit at his comment, “peacekeeping? i mean, i see that more as a side job. anyways, i could say the same about you. not tormenting anyone today, then?” he retorted, a small smile on his face, arms crossing, “you know, just the obvious, what are you doing around here?” 

[lastpxdawan]

inspiringgreatness​:

ask meme starter for @lastpxdawan - “I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.” 

“kanan…” ahsoka sighs and shakes her head. if there’s something bothering him, she’d rather he talk about it. work through it. they both know resorting to alcohol. in some ways - perhaps too many ways - kanan reminds ahsoka of herself. order 66 had been difficult for them both. they were both fortunate to have found… something. something to work towards. something to fight for. but it didn’t change the years of hiding, of isolation, of fear that at some point you may be found. caught and killed - or worse, tortured until you break.

reaching out, ahsoka rests a hand on kanan’s shoulder. this is a new challenge, a new threat. something neither of them have faced before, but… “you’re not alone, kanan. don’t forget that. you don’t need to handle all of this by yourself.”

kanan wasn’t actually considering drinking again. the going sober was... enough to make him never want to touch it again. he didn’t need to go through the withdrawal of it again. he hoped ahsoka knew that. 

hera had very clear that kanan knew he wouldn’t be doing that again, anyways. 

it had been-- a necessary evil time. it helped him cope-- he wouldn’t say live but it helped him survive, before hera helped him. he gave her a small smile, “i know. i know. i’m just.. i’m not serious,” he affirmed, head tilting down some towards her, “i’m glad to have you here again. it’s nice to have someone... “ that understands, he didn’t finish. he knew he didn’t have to.

[lastpxdawan]

wrongsyndulla​:

now that he’s pulled away, jacen… wishes he hadn’t. thirty four years of never knowing his father, never seeing him, never knowing how he sounded or what he looked like as he smiled. never knowing.. his force signature. jacen’s relatively sure that’s what he’s feeling, at least. he may not be trained, but he knows.. enough, to piece that together. this is - an unthinkable opportunity. he can’t waste it. “oh no - please, dad, no. you don’t need to be sorry. i - i know what you did. i know.. you saved us. me and mum. i never blamed you for that.” jacen tells him quickly, without a shred of hesitation or doubt. he might’ve wondered what it would be like, to have his father around. but he never blamed kanan for it. “neither of us did. and i never will.

he was surprised to here those words. he... was glad to hear them but he... he worried they would see at selfish. leaving them or... something lke that. it didn’t change his mind but he... he was so worried of hera never forgiving him... of their unborn child. with a small smile, he pulled jacen back against him, letting out a breath. a part of him didn’t care if jacen wanted this hug or not-- this was something he... had wanted so badly. grieved for never being able to have. “thank you,” he mumbled quietly, biting his lip some, sighing, “i’m glad you’re here.” 

[lastpxdawan]

rixharen​:

once rix senses that he’s being followed, it’s too late to hide his own presence. this person is close enough to trail him, but clearly skilled enough to suppress their own presence to keep the sith from knowing they were on his trail. interesting.

while it could be any manner of creature.. rix hopes it’s a jedi. it’s been too long since he was able to engage in a proper fight with a force wielder, especially a jedi.

he doesn’t bother concealing himself or hiding away from the approaching figure, instead dispersing his presence a little to make it harder to pinpoint his exact location and circling back to close some distance between them. the jedi aren’t the only one who can surprise people, after all.

“you could try, but it wouldn’t do you much good.” rix responds with a low chuckle, stepping out of the shadows to face his new company. it’s not difficult to determine he’s lost his sight - visual sight, at least - but rix isn’t stupid. he knows not to underestimate anyone as in-tune with the force as he seems to be. “i assume this isn’t a social visit, jedi.”

kanan had trained himself well enough to hide his presence at this point. it had been necessary for him to hide himself to survive after the jedi purge. but this strong a presence had surprised him. not one he’d felt in a long time. 

nor wanted to, frankly.  

while the presence was a bit... fuzzy when nearing the man, still clear enough for kanan to make out-- a skill developed when losing his sight that he was currently thankful for. head tilting some at his comment, kanan simply crossed his arms over his chest. so it was this kind of sith. 

“i mean, i guess you could call it a social visit,” he commented, hand idly gesturing near him, “i wasn’t looking for a fight.”

[lastpxdawan]

lkskywalker​:

luke turns his head as he hears his name called, the mechanical piece in his hands buzzing annoyingly but quietly as he smiles and strides over, nodding humbly at the compliment. “i did my best, just as anyone else would have in my position. i think i was just simply lucky more than anything.” there’s something to attribute to his extreme unluckiness as well, the misfortune of who his father turned out to be and how few jedi were left to help train him in the ways he so badly wanted to, but that ought to be obvious enough. “you’re–…” he takes a closer look at the other man, squinting a bit, worried he might be about to guess the wrong identity. “you’re kanan jarrus, aren’t you?”

he was glad to hear the man had remained humble... something he knew his father had not been. kanan smiled some at his comment, “i think most of us are just lucky-- it’s a secret no one likes to talk about,” kanan joked some, a hand resting on his hip. he raised his eyebrows some when he recognized him. he was surprised-- maybe something he should have expected but it was odd nonetheless to be recognized without hera. “i am-- i was a little before your time, i think.” 

[lastpxdawan]

wrongsyndulla​:

he knows the hug was probably a bit of a surprise, especially given kanan can’t see him, but… after a long life of wondering what it would be like to meet his father, wondering how he would feel, what kanan would be like, it was - very much overdue. jacen’s not… he’s not a child anymore, he knows that. he has no intention of acting like this all the time. but one hug with his father.. that’s alright, isn’t it? “sorry, i just…” jacen gives his father a gentle squeeze before stepping back, letting out a slightly shaky breath. “wanted to make sure i got to do that at least once.”

kanan wished he had hugged his son sooner. he hadn’t realized how much he-- he needed this. a sort of closure in a way. that what he had done... their child had really survived. which meant hera had survived and-- it wasn’t for nothing. even now that jacen was an adult. the connection was clear and... how had he lived without it? kanan was surprised to feel him pull away, eyebrows furrowing some, shaking his head, “sorry-- jacen, you don’t have to be sorry, alright?” he sighed some, hand reaching to squeeze his shoulder, “i’m sorry i wasn’t here.” 

[lastpxdawan]

kanan was surprised by the number of dark presences he had sensed here. it made some sense, he supposed, but to know that the first order had this many people was... worrisome. this one seemed-- conflicted? it was odd, really. he hadn’t sensed something like this in a long time. 

or... well, ever, really. 

while he was sure he was being somewhat obvious, he couldn’t help but be curious. especially now when his chances of being attacked were low. tilting his head up some, he let out a breath as the woman approached him. 

closed starter for @corvusren !

[lastpxdawan]

kanan knew of the skywalkers, he was surprised to find out about him having a son but.. having heard of his achievements? he was glad another jedi had helped the rebellion when he was gone... he and ezra. sensing who he assumed to be him, he called him over, “hey-- you’re luke, right?” kanan smiled a bit, “i hear you made quite a name for yourself in the rebellion.” 

closed starter for @lkskywalker!

[lastpxdawan]

wrongsyndulla​:

“he was pretty stubborn about it, honestly.” jacen laughs, shaking his head at the memory. it had been strange to have a connection to his parents with him all the time, after he’d left everything behind. but.. chopper had been all he had left of them. at the end of the day, jacen never regretted letting the droid go with him.

it’s a little strange, to have his father feel for his appearance, but jacen holds still anyway. considering they shouldn’t even be meeting… he’s more than willing to let kanan ask and do whatever he wants here, for them to get to know each other properly. “oh yeah, he was.. glad i picked something up from the family. i think it helped my hair’s green, too.” jacen has very distinct memory of his grandfather’s.. disappointment that he didn’t take after hera more, but cham’s care for his family always came first at least. “i heard it a lot, she - she never failed to remind me. i think.. it was nice, for her. to have a bit of you around.” he can’t help the way his heart falls a little as kanan’s hand falls from his shoulder, and jacen can’t bring himself to do the same. it’s just.. it’s all so much, it’s all so surreal, too good to be true and - “dad -” he chokes before pulling kanan in for a hug, wrapping his arms around kanan tight and feeling very much like a kid again. “i… i know it’s not ideal, but i’m really glad i get to meet you.”

“i wouldn’t expect anything else from him “he commented, chuckling some, glad jacen had some company, at least when he and hera both passed. kanan wished their reunion wasn’t like this... he wanted to see him be able to really take in his appearance but this... this was enough, he let out a breath chuckle, “i’m sure Cham was thrilled,”he added in return. he was surprised to feel the hug but...incredibly thrilled. letting out a breath, he hugged his son back tightly, “i’m glad to get to meet you, jacen.”

[lastpxdawan]

wrongsyndulla​:

jacen can’t help but laugh at the question. chopper, that darn droid, he wouldn’t leave jacen alone no matter how hard he tried. it hadn’t been easy at first, to leave the ghost, leave what was left of his family behind and go and… figure out who he wanted to be. but in hindsight, he’s glad the droid came with him. “he did. he wasn’t letting me outta his sight, don’t worry.”

when kanan’s hand settles on his shoulder, jacen feels… he doesn’t even know what he’s feeling. not just something in the force - something he can’t identify anyway, with his limited experience - but something strong stirs up in his chest, an absolutely overwhelming sensation that brings a lump to his throat and makes his eyes burn with tears. it’s not just the gesture… it’s the man behind it, and it hits jacen again that this is really his father. “oh - uh -” he chuckles weakly, holding himself still while kanan gets his bearings on what his son looks like. “yeah, i.. i look a lot like you. mum always said so when i was growing up. i wasn’t sure, holograms can be deceiving, but…” smiling, jacen reaches to rest on kanan’s shoulder in return. “i see it, now. hair’s green, and - my ears are a little pointed, green at the tip. but everything else.. took after you a lot.”

kanan let out a small chuckle, nodding some, “well i’m glad. we would of had some words if chopper would have left,” he commented. he honestly wasn’t surprised. chopper, while a pain in the ass, had proven his loyalty countless times throughout the years. he was glad to hear that streak hadn’t ended.

he tilted his head some at his explanation, reaching for his ears, feeling for the slight point. a smile, he reached back towards his hair, noticing the ponytail. “that’s from your mom-- the ears. well, from your grandfather. he’d be happy to see them,” likely not the rest of his features that came from kanan but... well he wasn’t concerned with that. he smiled when he went on, “your mom would know, i’m sure. i expected you to look more like her but--” he was sure it gave hera some comfort when he was gone. of that.. he was glad to hear. he pulled his hand away, smiling. he wished he could see him but this... this was enough.

[lastpxdawan]

kanan had spent the majority of his childhood hearing about anakin skywalker-- and an unfortunate amount of his adulthood being compared to him by others who’s only experience with a jedi was him. 

if he was being honest it had become a little exhausting.

regardless-- he couldn’t help but be intrigued by sensing the man. his force signature was undeniable, but... surprising. he hadn’t expected to feel so much.. conflict. it only reminded him of his padawan.. how he had been after maul. 

he sighed, moving closer, a risk, perhaps, but his curiosity was peaked. “you’re anakin skywalker, aren’t you?” a dumb question, but... he hoped to have a conversation. blind eyes flicked vaguely in the direction of the man, “have to say, i didn’t expect you just out.”

closed starter for @furnacemade!

[lastpxdawan]

there was no doubt in kanan’s mind that the dark presence he was feeling was... not from this time either. somehow that was even more concerning... what dark force user had been brought back. he knew it was someone he hadn’t met but, past that? 

it was hard to sense anything other than a location. 

                          something kanan shouldn’t follow. 

he blamed hera for this hero complex he’d developed. 

kanan slowly ventured towards the force signature, being careful to hide his own, hoping to conceal himself from the being. he didn’t want a fight. he just... wanted to know who this was. wanted to know what sith they were dealing with. because this? was certainly not one of the poorly trained knights he’d heard of. 

but as soon as he sensed the presence near, he knew the other had noticed him. letting out a breath, he turned his head vaguely in the man’s direction, “i suppose i can’t make up an excuse for how i found you, can i?”

closed starter for @rixharen!