help
i watched this like 10 times it’s so funny i’m deaddddd
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@latishah
help
i watched this like 10 times it’s so funny i’m deaddddd
so let me get this straight. criston’s plan is to get himself and alicent’s brother killed in the hopes that people will write songs about it and alicent will hear them. what does he think she will feel about her idiot ex lover getting her precious brother killed? does he think she will be grateful? is he out of his mind?
oh and the irony of him being remembered only as the scheming manipulative careerist that he is when all he wanted was to be a war hero. kingmaker my ass
so let me get this straight. criston’s plan is to get himself and alicent’s brother killed in the hopes that people will write songs about it and alicent will hear them. what does he think she will feel about her idiot ex lover getting her precious brother killed? does he think she will be grateful? is he out of his mind?
rhaenyra: *breathes*
daemon: okay but have you considered we could conquer yi ti
daemon’s obsession over dorne should be studied. city watchmen are being killed every day and all he talks about is WHEN WE CONQUER DORNE like chill out dude maybe first solve at least one of your 1000 looming problems
criston fucking cole thinks so much of himself. “i am the realm’s greatest warrior” oh are you ?????? literally no one thinks that bro made up a title for himself and leads everyone to death because of it
can you feel i hate the guy? yes? oh
criston fucking cole thinks so much of himself. “i am the realm’s greatest warrior” oh are you ?????? literally no one thinks that bro made up a title for himself and leads everyone to death because of it
It's crazy, but it's true There's nothing I won't do I'd risk it all for you...
Artwork by x_asterr
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First day on the job and I’m getting my long awaited vengeance against my father’s evil vizier but it turns out no one else knows how to do his job so I need to at least hire an accountant because I’m too rich to understand the concept of a budget, but we scared off the city’s comptroller who hid all our liquid assets and told only the master of laws, who we beheaded without checking on that and a rat crawls up my pant leg. So I try to at least call over some pest control but my stupid chud brother already killed all of them because they killed his son because our other brother killed MY son. So now we’re overrun by rats and I pivot to taking some petitions and this lady that looks strangely like my siblings’ mom (why?) tells me we’re out of food because of the blockade I put in place. So I ask my husband’s ex, who is on my cabinet because I’m kind of fucking her because of my complex about not being my father’s son, and she asks what my dad would do. So I do what my dad would do and ask a sad woman I’ve locked in my house, but she’s mad at me because I killed her dad. So I try to handle both the rat and the budget problem by making my entire merchant class eat the rats and sending my corrupt police force to rob their houses and now all my merchants are both pissed off and absolutely going to tell everyone the blockade was my fault. So I ask MY evil vizier what I should do but he’s mad at me because I won’t legitimize his peasant sons, one of which has one of my nukes and I just publicly humiliated twice. So I leave to consider if I should kill my littlest brother to relieve some stress, except another one of my fathers’ evil viziers’ evil fruit relatives tricked me and this isn’t any of my brothers. So I walk away with no one for protection except the chief of the aforementioned police force who I just encouraged to seize the property of nobles and we get stopped by one of my other nuke holding peasants who asks why he hasn’t gotten a paycheck in 4 months, and I tell him I’m broke as shit in front of the aforementioned corrupt police chief, who is also on the payroll that I don’t have. So I give up and circle back to my vice president and he thinks for a few minutes and then asks if I’ve tried bombing Iran
rhaenyra: *breathes*
daemon: okay but have you considered we could conquer yi ti
rhaenyra spent 1 day in the alicent hightower simulator and lost her fucking marbles 😔
inside of you there are 2 dragons. one is seductively reading the communist manifesto in your ear telling you to redistribute your wealth and the other just suggested you ransack yi-ti because of your superior aryan blood. you are fucking them both.
there is also a third gayer dragon you keep locked away in your guest room and it keeps going on and on about The Cycles™️ or whatever. you should fuck that one as well.
someone on the train is watching heated rivalry… gotta respect the bravery
unfortunately the perfect line to describe me was written by camila cabello and it’s “twenty-somethings in love, in lust, in confusion”
words cannot explain how much i hate everything about taylor swift’s wedding
watched 19 minutes of the new season and there’s been like 2 minutes where i didn’t want to kill myself
watching hotd is like watching a plane crash in slow motion and you know everyone will die yet you can’t look away
everyone crackshiping jace and sansa … let me hold your hand when i say this …
harry collett looking much more similiar to book!jon than kit harington makes this even funnier
watched 19 minutes of the new season and there’s been like 2 minutes where i didn’t want to kill myself