queer masc positivity blog! inclusive of anyone who identifies as male, masculine, male-aligned, or just wants to include aspects of being male as a part of their larger identity. anti-medicalization, anti-truscum, pro-queer, pro-self-determination! feel free to ask for advice or share stories, vents, etc, through the ask function. feel free to submit selfies or stories or art through the submit. click this link for more about the blog and the mod!
lavenderboylove is an inclusive positivity blog for queer masculinity. "lavender boy" is an antiquated derogatory term for queer men that many of us reclaim. this blog is for trans men, gay men, nonbinary men, people who are partially male or want to align themselves with men, or anyone whoâs queer and feels kinship with the labels âmaleâ or âmasc." yes, women who align with manhood or masculinity are welcome. i don't ask questions or gatekeep; if something on this blog feels like it's for you, then it is.
everyone is welcome to interact (including people who aren't men whatsoever--there are no limits to spreading positivity!), but please respect:
do not submit transmedicalist or truscum content
do not submit anti-queer content
do not submit content that seeks to gatekeep queer identities
do not submit anti-feminist content
do not try to start discourse on this blog, if i say that iâm going to stop interacting with a specific topic, do not try to force me to continue talking about it
along those lines, some stuff i want to clarify:
this blog is inclusionist
this blog supports ace and aro men
this blog supports multigendered people of all sexualities (yes, this includes labels like male lesbian)
this blog supports non-dysphoric trans people
this blog supports polyamorous and kinky men
while this blog is focused on queerness, it supports and seeks to uplift disabled men, men of color, fat men, men in sex work, and other non-queer marginalized masculinities
this blog is anti-authoritarian and anti-fascist
this blog is explicitly feminist and all positivity is directed toward masculinities marginalized and punished under patriarchy
i hate it when people say all men are evil, partially because gender essentialism is bullshit, but mostly because i personally am actually working really hard to be evil in unique and refreshing ways, and by acting like it's a quality innate to my gender you're dismissing all the time and effort i've put in.
we really need to start policing how cis people talk again tbh. no more of this "as a cis person i can say with complete epistemic authority that conservatives love trans men" bullshit, we've let that slide for too long, shut the fuck up cis baby you don't know shit
any cis person pondering philosophically about any aspect of the Trans Experience should be laughed out of the room with the energy we have for the jennifer lawrence fckh8 ad. i do not care if they're really, really, really sure they know exactly what its like because its ackshually transphobic to say trans people have different gendered experiences than cis people. That's not true and cis people who say it should get swarmed by mosquitoes. specifically because i hate them and their stupid argument. shut the fuck up cis baby.
we really need to start policing how cis people talk again tbh. no more of this "as a cis person i can say with complete epistemic authority that conservatives love trans men" bullshit, we've let that slide for too long, shut the fuck up cis baby you don't know shit
if you see a trans man thatâs too deep into tumblr discourse cycles, you have to regularly pull him out and remind him that heâs loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have to tell him that his masculinity isnât inherently evil or dangerous or antifeminist and that he shouldnât feel guilty for being himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have to let him know he has people who love him for his manhood, and not in spite of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have to be there for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have to be there for trans men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also to be fucking clear about something: me posting about loving trans men, transmasculinity, dykes and butches ultimately has nothing to do with my sexual/romantic attraction or lack thereof.
i am writing about queering masculinity, about the beauty of transmasculine self love, about the wide and wondrous cosmos that is masculinity when absolved of societal hostility and hegemony because i think they deserve to be written about and i find them breathtaking and i find that they give me breath when society has me feeling like i'm suffocating.
i love and cherish transmasculinity, transmasc people, trans men, butches, queer masculinity and all thats in between not because it gets my rocks off but because i find it so profoundly awe-inspiring and i want others to be able to let go off their internalized self hatred, anxiety and fear so that they can see themselves that way.
i grew up with so much self hatred for my baby-butch-supposed-to-be-a-man self and i have found a whole world inside of my exploration of liberated masculinity and i need others to see that too.
so no: i'm not writing about this because i'm attracted to trans men and transmasculine people, i write about it because i needed to read that shit when i was still so full of self hatred, my carnal desires towards specific transmasc individuals i can put aside for a moment; but my love for all we are and all that we can be i cannot.
âWhy are people dropping they/them from profilesâ âa lot of people have stopped being nonbinaryâ âi feel like a lot of people i knew who were nonbinary identify differently suddenlyâ its the violent exorsexism in larger society and within queer communities that happens like clockwork when there is a rise in anti-queer, anti-trans bigotry.
When fascism spikes, we get a two-fold where folks who cannot or will not assimilate are pushed by our oppressors to reconsider, and fellow queer/trans folks become some of the most aggressive enforcers of that âchoiceâ in an attempt to buy safety within the majority.
This shit is why inter-community discourse is not just petty complaintsâthe refusal to hold solidarity with the weirdest, loudest, most visible queers in our midst is fascist as well as self-destructive. People are being forced into the closet, forced into labels that make othersâincluding queer and trans peopleâmore comfortable, because comfort and conformity becomes the biggest priority for many when shit hits the fan. And these are the scenarios that dont end up with nonbinary people dead.
You are abandoning the most vulnerable while preaching about privileges, and this saboteur mentality will not even ultimately save you when eventually you are either forced to learn that you do not fit how you thought you did or our oppressors shift the goalposts until even your presentation of sexuality and gender are not ânormalâ enough anymore.
from ""Wondering whether he was to mount the box or enter with his master": Forced-Masc Fantasies In Georgette Heyer" by Daniel Lavery
Letâs start with THE CORINTHIAN, one of Heyerâs earlier Regencies, before sheâd quite locked into the formula â swaggering dandy Richard Wyndham spots Penn Creed (aka Penelope) climbing out of her family home down a rope-ladder during his drunken stumble home; the two of them start traveling together so she can avoid a forced marriage as he poses variously as Pennâs uncle, cousin, and tutor.
At the end of the book, Pennâs taken off in the middle of the night, convinced Sir Richard only proposed out of a sense of guilt (Youâre wrong, Penn!), forcing Sir Richard to chase after his ward/nephew/cousin and tear him out of a carriage. Itâs got every element necessary to the force-masc fantasy: tons of reminders about Sir Richardâs cis massiveness, power, stateliness, address, and competence that alternately threatens, overshadows, envelops, commingles, and eats Pennâs squishy, trans-adjacent, conditional boyishness, running away from school, male sulkiness versus male authority, man-on-boy bullying, more than a hint of open homosexuality thatâs not only condoned but demanded by polite society â the people in the carriage donât just encourage Richard to ârecoverâ Penn, most of them insist on it. [...]
More under the cut (including quotes from the book):
"The next instant, Sir Richardâs tall, immaculate person filled the opening, and Pen, uttering an involuntary sound between a squeak and a whimper, turned first red, and then white, and managed to utter the one word: âNo!â
âAh!â said Sir Richard briskly. âSo there you are! Out you come, my young friend!â
âWell, I never did in all my life!â gasped the woman beside Pen. âWhatever has he been and gone and done, sir?â
âRun away from school,â replied Sir Richard, without a momentâs hesitation.
âI havenât! It isnât t-true!â stammered Pen. âI wonât go with you, I w-wonât!â
Sir Richard, leaning into the coach, and grasping her hand, said: âOh, wonât you, by Jove? Donât you dare to defy me, you â brat!â
âHere, guvânor, steady!â expostulated a kindly man in the far corner. âI donât know when Iâve taken more of a fancy to a lad, and thereâs no call for you to bully him, Iâm sure! Dare say thereâs many of us have wanted to run away from school in our time, eh?â"
âOh, no, donât make me cut off all my hair and shorten my name, Iâd sure hate that! Oh, no, donât take me back to school, you strict lessons-master! Oh my, I can barely get a word in edgewise, Iâm falling all to pieces! Gee whiz, mister, all the other men in the carriage sure think Iâm the best little lad in all the world â a real corker of a boy, met with universal male approval, and having a universally male experience. This is the worst!!!!!â
"âAh,â said Sir Richard brazenly, âbut you do not know the half of it! You think he looks a young innocent, but I could tell you a tale of his depravity which would shock you.â
âOh, how dare you?â said Pen indignantly. âIt isnât true! Indeed, it isnât!â The occupants of the coach had by this time ranged themselves into two camps. Several persons said that they had suspected the young varmint of running away from the start, and Penâs supporters demanded to know who Sir Richard was, and what right he had to drag the poor young gentleman out of the coach.
âEvery right!â responded Sir Richard. âI am his guardian. In fact, he is my nephew.â
âI am not!â stated Pen. His eyes looked down into hers, with so much laughter in them that she felt her heart turn over.
âArenât you?â he said. âWell, if you are not my nephew, brat, what are you?â
Aghast, she choked: âRichard, you â you â traitor!â Even the kindly man in the corner seemed to feel that Sir Richardâs question called for an answer. Pen looked helplessly round, encountered nothing but glances either of disapproval, or of interrogation, and raised her wrathful eyes to Sir Richardâs face. âWell?â said Sir Richard inexorably. âAre you my nephew?â
âYes â no! Oh, you are abominable! You wouldnât dare!â
âYes, I would,â said Sir Richard. âAre you going to get out, or are you not?â A man in a plum-coloured coat recommended Sir Richard to dust the young rascalâs jacket for him. Pen stared up at Sir Richard, read the determination behind the amusement in his face, and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, and out of the stuffy coach.
âWell, I hate to do it, personally, but if everyone in this carriage is going to insist that Iâm the sexy, dangerous, possibly deviant nephew of this powerful, commanding man, then I guess thereâs nothing to be done for it but allow myself to be dragged out of a stuffy coach and into the fresh and free out-of-doors with him! You sure hate to see it, but what can you do??â
"She found herself unable to speak. There was an expression in Sir Richardâs eyes which brought the colour rushing into her cheeks again, and made her feel as though the world were whirling madly round her. Behind her, the guard, having let up the steps, and shut the door, climbed, grumbling, on to the roof again. The coach began to move ponderously forward. Pen paid no heed to it, though the wheels almost brushed her coat. âRichard, you â you donât want me! You canât want me!â she said uncertainly.
âMy darling!â he said. âOh, my precious, foolish little love!â
The coach lumbered on down the road; as it reached the next bend, the roof-passengers, looking back curiously to see the last of a very odd couple, experienced a shock that made one of them nearly lose his balance. The golden-haired stripling was locked in the Corinthianâs arms, being ruthlessly kissed. âLawks a-mussy on us! whatever is the world a-coming to?â gasped the roof-passenger, recovering his seat. âI never did in all my born days!â
âRichard, Richard, they can see us from the coach!â expostulated Pen, between tears and laughter.
âLet them see!â said the Corinthian."
There is no force-masc fantasy more powerful than this! The straightest, hottest guy in the world, Godâs own quarterback, doesnât care that it looks gay when heâs kissing you. Go straight to jail, do not collect $200, itâs all over but the shouting, itâs Chinatown baby, this is it.
Out on Youtube March 20th. Link in Bio!! These two masterpieces where ALL over my mood board when I was making Waves. Black and Magical is the way Iâd describe this film. Loving yourself when the world wants to hate you is the greatest power the world has ever seen. I have so many feelings about this film. Please look out for it this March! 3/20/2026, the first day of spring đ
A feature-length documentary featuring seven FTM transsexual men, where they talk about their transitions, histories, and new lives.
Lyle, Max, Michael, Steven, Ted, Loren, and James: a photographer who lifts weights, a cop, a mechanic, writers, an artist; one is gay, at least three are in serious relationships with women; one was in the seminary; one has three children from a previous marriage.
All seven were assigned female at birth, and all are female-to-male (FTM) transgender men. They talk about childhood, deciding to make the change, telling parents and friends and co-workers, testosterone therapy, surgeries, organs, embracing their histories, and how their lives are now. Friends, a parent, lovers, and two children also talk. All six men express joy at their new-found and more complete identities.
Now available to watch for free on the Trans Guy Archive!
Final result: the majority of voters have NEVER HEARD OF this film.
This animated short is about two young Black men who fall in love and refuse to hide it from the rest of the world. It is based on the poem of the same name by Dean Atta. It recently won the BAFTA for best British animated short.
If you live in the UK, you can watch it on Channel 4's website.
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