please abraham i am not that man

Hi, I'm Laura. I'm a twenty year old engineering major who likes makeup and cries over dumb English boybands. There is literally nothing else you need to know about me.

[lawyerupassh0le]

TOMORROW’S MY FIRST DAY OF FRESHMAN WEEK (well it’s like three days but w/e) AT UNIVERSITY AAAAAAH

I AM LIKE AN ADULT AND CRAP OH WOW

[lawyerupassh0le]

resucitating after like a million year hiatus just to say that i’m graduating in 13 days and i’m officially a chemical engineer

wow life and the passage of time is so wild

[lawyerupassh0le]

geez, it must have been years since i last wrote a personal post on this damn site. 

but right now i’ve basically been having a 48 hour freak out session and it doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. the only person who knows a bit about what happened is my best friend but she’s not in town right now and we’re both busy so it’s unnecessary to make her sit there and listen to me talk about this for hours to reach the same conclusion i did. therefore, screaming out into the void that is the internet and this website is clearly the rational thing to do (lol @ that)

there’s just so much in my life changing all at once and i can’t handle it. i’m a senior in uni and i’ve already gotten full time job offers. hell, i even accepted one already so starting next fall, i’m going to be a very respectable engineer at a very respected chemical company far away from all my friends and family. my friends are all planning their grad school applications so they don’t know for sure where they’re ending up but the only sure thing is that we’re all going to be far away from each other. i’ve known my best friend for over a decade so obviously, there’s some separation anxiety there and i need for grad school application season to be over, like, now so i can start planning my visits to her.

the only person who’s not going to grad school but also becoming a cog in the machine that is corporate america is my other best friend. the boy. because, of course, there’s always a boy. second to the best friend mentioned above (whom i’ve known for 10+ years), he’s my closest friend. it’s crazy to think i’ve only known him for 4 years and i basically hated him for the first 2 of those. but yeah, we’re close. like really close. he’s the whole reason for this freakout session tbh. 

so we’ve kind of been blurring the lines between us. we’ve been sleeping together (no sex, literally just sleeping) for a bit over a year now. (keep in mind that both him and i have taken semester-long internships where we’ve been away so i’m not counting that time). so like we cuddle and go out to dinners and he’s met my parents (who absolutely adore him) and he wanted me to meet his parents and we basically do everything a couple does except we’re not actually dating. we’ve been in this limbo for quite some time now but i’m only just freaking out about it because lately, things have been escalating.

so about a month or so, we kissed. and we’ve just kept kissing. like a lot. and adding that to the whole bunch of things we’ve already been doing, it’s been a bit confusing. the one time we actually sat down to talk about it (after the first incident), we agreed that we wouldn’t keep doing it and would go back to being friends for a multitude of reasons, including but not limited to:

- we’re seniors in university so we only have a year together and then we both move. he’ll be in texas and i’ll be in tennessee. it’s about a 16 hour drive/4 hr flight which is not a lot but still a lot when we’d basically have been dating for a year at most

-neither of us have really been in relationships before and tbh it’s terrifying to think about. we really do love each other and messing up our friendship would kill us, especially with only a year together left

well, we clearly don’t have much self-control because it keeps happening. and it’s escalated. and i know this thing is already super long so clearly long story short doesn’t apply here but i’m going to use it anyway. long story short, he gave me an orgasm and then i freaked out. he handled it so well too and was so sweet about it but that only caused me to freak out more. 

clearly, we need to talk and i already know what i’m going to say to him. i’m scared of how it’ll go but it needs to be done.

i guess i’m only ranting on here because him and i are basically two of the most private people ever so the only other person who knows is my best friend and she doesn’t even know all the details. and i guess when you don’t feel like you can talk about it with anyone else, telling it to the entire internet is the next best thing. 

so here it is. it’s dumb and i’m 22 so this shouldn’t even be a big deal for me but it is. 

i don’t expect anyone to read this and if you made it this far, i’m so sorry you actually read my rant. 

that’s all, folks. see you in a few years after my next panic attack session. 

[leepacey]

aaron tveit covered we are never getting back together again and

he didn’t change the pronouns, just like last time

there was a partially deaf girl at the show and he signed part of the song

[notkatniss]

[lawyerupassh0le]

that moment when you have to remind yourself that, despite what both of y’all seem to think, you’re not actually dating and in a committed relationship so there’s no reason to do... well, any of the stuff you do.

The lines are so blurry, it is ridiculous tbh

[gael-garcia]

Hamilton wins Best Musical Theater Album at the 58th Annual GRAMMY Awards, Feb. 15, 2016

“We write music, we write songs to tell the story. Whether you’re King, Kendrick, or Jeanine Tesori. I’m sorry if I start screaming these thanks hysterically: John Buzzetti, Tim Latham, Tom Coyne and Derek Lee! Tommy Kail set the stage to kick our boots through. Bill Sherman, Quest, and Tariq, the whole Roots crew. Sean at Warner Chapel, Riggs and Craig at Atlantic. Lacamoire my right-hand man. This frantic Hispanic is non-stop. The best idea goes in the pot. Whether you’re Harnick and Bock, Pun, Biggie or ‘Pac. The cast unstoppable. Band is unbeatable. Inimitable. Inevitable. Always inspiring me to pull through. Vanessa, Angie, Illie, Ellie, we adore you. Sebastian, Daddy’s bringing home a Grammy for you.”

[gratitudecafe]

This is not the end

[fannypakc]

(x/x/x/x/x/x)

[halfagony-halfhope]

Darcy and Elizabeth + First Proposal

[kateoplis]

Amen.

[lavernecox]

On May 29, 2014, the issue of timemagazine magazine which proclaimed the “Transgender Tipping Point” was revealed with me on the cover. June 1, 2015 a year and 3 days later, Caitlyn Jenner’s vanityfair cover was revealed proclaiming #CallMeCaitlyn I am so moved by all the love and support Caitlyn is receiving. It feels like a new day, indeed, when a trans person can present her authentic self to the world for the first time and be celebrated for it so universally. Many have commented on how gorgeous Caitlyn looks in her photos, how she is “slaying for the Gods.” I must echo these comments in the vernacular, “Yasss Gawd! Werk Caitlyn! Get it!” But this has made me reflect critically on my own desires to ‘work a photo shoot’, to serve up various forms of glamour, power, sexiness, body affirming, racially empowering images of the various sides of my black, trans womanhood. I love working a photo shoot and creating inspiring images for my fans, for the world and above all for myself. But I also hope that it is my talent, my intelligence, my heart and spirit that most captivate, inspire, move and encourage folks to think more critically about the world around them. Yes, Caitlyn looks amazing and is beautiful but what I think is most beautiful about her is her heart and soul, the ways she has allowed the world into her vulnerabilities. The love and devotion she has for her family and that they have for her. Her courage to move past denial into her truth so publicly. These things are beyond beautiful to me. A year ago when my Time magazine cover came out I saw posts from many trans folks saying that I am “drop dead gorgeous” and that that doesn’t represent most trans people. (It was news to be that I am drop dead gorgeous but I’ll certainly take it). But what I think they meant is that in certain lighting, at certain angles I am able to embody certain cisnormative beauty standards. Now, there are many trans folks because of genetics and/or lack of material access who will never be able to embody these standards. More importantly many trans folks don’t want to embody them and we shouldn’t have to to be seen as ourselves and respected as ourselves . It is important to note that these standards are also infomed by race, class and ability among other intersections. I have always been aware that I can never represent all trans people. No one or two or three trans people can. This is why we need diverse media representstions of trans folks to multiply trans narratives in the media and depict our beautiful diversities. I started #TransIsBeautiful as a way to celebrate all those things that make trans folks uniquely trans, those things that don’t necessarily align with cisnormative beauty standards. For me it is necessary everyday to celebrate every aspect of myself especially those things about myself that don’t align with other people’s ideas about what is beautiful. #TransIsBeautiful is about, whether you’re trans or not, celebrating all those things that make us uniquely ourselves. Most trans folks don’t have the privileges Caitlyn and I have now have. It is those trans folks we must continue to lift up, get them access to healthcare, jobs, housing, safe streets, safe schools and homes for our young people. We must lift up the stories of those most at risk, statistically trans people of color who are poor and working class. I have hoped over the past few years that the incredible love I have received from the public can translate to the lives of all trans folks. Trans folks of all races, gender expressions, ability, sexual orientations, classes, immigration status, employment status, transition status, genital status etc.. I hope, as I know Caitlyn does, that the love she is receiving can translate into changing hearts and minds about who all trans people are as well as shifting public policies to fully support the lives and well being of all of us. The struggle continues…

[tittytron]

tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb

[ironbound-oberon]

#if you’re wondering if this is for you #it’s probably for you

[sandandglass]

Professor Stephen Hawking believes Zayn might still be in One Direction - in a different universe

[nadinefadlallah-deactivated2020]

3 Killed In Shooting Near University Of North Carolina At Chapel Hill The three victims were reportedly identified as Deah Shaddy Barakat, 23, Yusor Mohammad, 21, and Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha, 19.

American media didn’t consider giving a decent report about them simply because they aren’t Charlie Hebdo.

Once more TERRORISM HAS NO RELIGION!

REBLOG SO THE WHOLE WORLD COULD KNOW!!!

#CHAPELHILLSHOOTING

[nonbinaryshaw-deactivated201711]

INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE who are simultaneously GIANT DORKS are my ULTIMATE WEAKNESS

[unit00001]

[nopeabsolutelynot-deactivated20]

Beyonce

[fanufactured]

Go on her site right now. Right now. 

DO IT