Capitalism, Communism, Socialism
Capitalism, communism, socialism, is there nowhere else to go? Lazy, hazy, crafty, crazy, how am I supposed to know? Squarely barely, rarely fairly, do we really have a chance? Caring, sharing, daring, preparing, isnāt it time to take a stance? Healing change, rifle range, which will win, war or peace? Viper, sniper, windshield wiper, will the violence ever cease?Sleazy thrills and dirty deals, hatred apparent and the love sublime? Fathers, mothers, significant others, it seems weāre nearly out of time? Fearful, tearful, falsely cheerful, blindly staring at the moon!
The world is bleak and meaningless. Future generations will have to clean up our horrendous messes both politically and environmentally. Relations with other countries have become tenuous at best and collapsed at worst. We will never make it off this planet before our hubris and mistreatment of our planet come back to ruin our civilization, making mankind a pockmark on the corpse of a once vibrant and bountiful planet.
The distance between my heart and my mind has grown too great now. The emotions that once overwhelmed me have been severed, and now I feel almost nothing at all. There is a dull aching, occasional happiness but there is no depth to my feelings. I donāt write here often anymore; the reason is simple: I am rarely invested enough in anything. My thoughts are confused and emotions run wild, dipping and soaring from one moment to the next. I hear echos of my past and whispers from the future. The voices tug at my heart, these hideous thoughts and unbearable feelings of advancing step by step towards an unknown catastrophe which seems to be destroying everything around me and in me.
As I spoke to my silent ghost, there was a stabbing sensation in my chest, I felt a sudden flood of passion in my heart, a sense of desperation and urgency. Very briefly I witnessed a vast well of emotion surging inside of me, I felt everything that wove and bent my life into the twisted journey itās been and then instantly it was gone. I was splintering, and on the verge of shattering entirely when suddenly my mind fell silent and I was stranded. It all tastes the same, the day to day and week to week.
Somethingās broken that cannot be fixed, lost somewhere inĀ between and betwixt, a landlocked pirate dreams of the sea, lamenting promises that never could be too long pondering some great unknown, a weary old warrior and child cries alone, too many rules, too many following, too many fools, too little sharing, too little kindness, too little love, too little caring.
This moment, in this night, provides me plenty of time to think where did it all go wrong? I poured my heart out until they mocked and partially mended it. They can trace every move I make and study each choice I take but they wonāt ever know me. Those black reflective lenses canāt see how they have changed me.
I know I was too much and that I have always wanted far more than anyone can give. Though I never wished to hold you down, dominate you or have my way. I wish to love in vibrant colors, I know nothing of all that grey.
The world is hard and cruel, it corrupts minds and and makes people hate. Each time there is an ember of hope, I dare to believe maybe this time things will be different. Without fail, hatred reaches in and snubs out this dream of change.
Youāve heard it too, havenāt you? That love will overcome hate. I want to believe it is true, but I donāt. In reality, people are uncaring and savage, Iāve seen it time and time again and even felt it myself.Ā
Caught in a trap of endless competition, a game for fools to lose by trying to win, we play while peace and serenity wither. Is it too late for us to learn to love againĀ ?
What has all of this hate gotten us but more conflict and more pain? Love is made to lose. And i'm on the losing side but it has to be better than the alternative.
So crush me into oblivion. Grind me down to dust. Take every single mote of love and stomp it beneath your boot heel. Watch as your children follow your example and die on the battlefield you created. Tell me then that it was all worthwhile as you seethe with the hatred you brought upon yourselves. I want to slice my throat simply to deny you the satisfaction my sufferings provide.
So, who am I going to take next? Or rather, who am I going to push too far? So much of who she was has changed. Sheās gone sheās grown. Sometimes I still miss her. A free spirit none could ever catch. Breezing through life without a care. Yet donāt be sad sheās now my queenĀ and each day I know I love her more.
She writes. She writes an unanswered soliloquy pouring her heart into tragic prose of forbidden love that could never be holding tight a secret no one knows, in the empty spaces where no one goes.
Grandeur and beauty are in abundance yet such wonders it seems few ever find, missing the majesty with two good eyes, I wonder could it be our hearts are blind?
