I lovingly eat orphans

✨I'll share what I think when I think it✨ They/she/him or just they/them

[antichrists-plus1]

I couldn't get @coraline-piange's fic caught in your web out of my head so i went and drew it! Also based off this reel that the fic was inspired by ❤️💙

[carebeardean]

For the WIP ask, fairywin and/or spiderman Charles AU, please!

🕷️🕸️spiderman charles au

It’s like—like the first time Charles scaled a skyscraper, When he slung out a web and it caught, nearly yanking his arm straight out of the socket as he shot upwards, the the hanging suspended below him, glowing in the sunrise, weightless, laughter bubbling in his throat.

Edwin loves him. Charles, who wore shoes he duct taped together for a year. Whose fingers were always smudged from tagging. Who, the other day, had webbed round a skyscraper face first into a pigeon.

Edwin didn’t even know he was Spiderman, cause Edwin was, deep down, the spirit of someone’s Nan trapped in a man’s body. He didn’t even watch telly until Charles roped him into movie nights. He reads about hero shit in the paper in the mornings, frowning and taking meticulous notes.

When, not if, Edwin finds out, he’s going to go nuclear. He already goes mental whenever Charles gets hurt, and—alright, yes, maybe when they met, Charles was getting into a few too many fights. He’d felt like a powder keg trailing a sparking line behind him, the memory of water rising over his chest, the splash-thunk of stones rattling his lungs every time he took a breath. He had, maybe, not needed to pick a fight with anyone who gave Edwin funny looks right where Edwin could see him.

🧚fairy edwin + gardener charles

“You didnt finish the story.”

Charles tucks a grin into the corners of his mouth, and keeps his body language loose, his voice deliberately even. “Sorry, mate. Forgot my book at home last time.”

“You did not,” the little voice says sourly, “you are drawing me out on purpose.”

He loses the battle against the grin. “Alright, maybe a little.”

“I knew it!” It says, so sharply satisfied it makes Charles laugh, sides shaking.

“Ive got it in my bag, if youd like to hear the rest.”

“Yes, as if i am so eager to step merrily into your trap, and be captured and dissected for parts. I think not, and that youll find i could kill you quite easily, despite appearances.”

Charles listens, brows raising, to all the ways the poison lining the miniscule sword in the corner of his vision would end him quickly and painfully.

“Right then. Can i reach behind me then? Pull the book out?”

“..You may.”

“Thanks ever so much,” Charles suppresses a snort.

“You are all too comfortable for the situation at hand. Do you doubt my threats?”

“Nah, i just think,” Charles draws his pack, and his book out of it. “If you meant to kill me youdve done it already. So you must really want to hear the rest of it.”

[dear-ao3]

image id: screenshot of an ao3 summary reading “Oh yeah btw I’m writing this while thing on a fucking Nintendo Switch so please excuse some of the typos and let me know if there are any :3”

[soulfulsam42]

[stasyalovem]

two ghost mates chilling in a hot tub five feet apart cause they're not gays

[2deadboys]

just thinking about that one concept of Charles telling Edwin they should get married so they have a claim on each others souls (so Hell can't have Edwin)

but early on in their friendship

Charles is all like hey so you know how you escaped hell and youre running from it bc it still owns your soul...... what if we got married so your soul technically belongs to me?? -- and mine is yours of course.

Edwin is just "... you want to marry me?"

"As best mates of course :))) I'll do anything to keep you safe."

and they lowkey forget about it till Hell nabs Edwin again. But this time Charles argues to the Night Nurse that actually Edwins soul belongs to him. And whips out their marriage certificate.

And shes like 😐 "I'm going to have to file this officially.... but technically your claim is stronger than Hells."

Hell had Edwins soul because of a technicality. But Charles has his soul because Edwin willingly gives himself to him.

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

i love gay marriage

[adskayapanda]

So serious

[be-rich-buy-whatever-you-want]

nothing gayer than teaching someone self-defense

oh you want me to be able to take care of myself? you want to make sure i don't end up severely hurt? you want me to be able to prevent injury in case you cannot? shut up and kiss me already asshole

[sthilarions]

Binding Potion, for @dbda-potion-week :)

The majority of the human population goes through a binding ritual at least once in their lives.  Some are led to the altar as sacrifice, some walk alone, some are bound with a knot, but all chant the sacred words in front of a holy leader, all are marked as bound ‘til death.  It’s normal.

So it shouldn’t have been a big deal to take it just a step further, really.  It shouldn’t!

“Let us get supernaturally married, he said,” Edwin’s voice buzzed in Charles’s ear.  Edwin’d been taking lessons on being difficult from Crystal, and their powers combined were going to drive Charles to distraction one of these days.  “It will be romantic, he said.”  Charles could feel Edwin’s glare digging into his ear.  “‘Til death do us part’ is for the weak, he said.  What harm could be done by introducing a further binding element without informed consent, he didn’t say!”

“Well I didn’t know you were already married, now did I?” Charles snapped.

“I was sacrificed to a demon, Charles!”  Edwin’s voice was so shrill Charles felt like he could’ve used it to pierce his other earlobe.  “What part of ‘my soul belongs to Hell’ did you not understand?!”

“I thought you were being metaphorical!”

“Oh my gods!” Crystal interrupted, and they both whirled on her.  “You’re not even married yet, stop acting so much like an old married couple!”

“Well I’d like to be married, Crystal,” Edwin said, his voice heaving and rising, and Charles was a little guiltily glad that he had been given another target, “but instead I am standing in supernatural divorce court!”

Edwin’s voice rang over the heads of all the thousands of humans and demons and fey and Other Things in the line, and Charles buried his face in his hands.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

How I found out that my cockatiel was a girl.

[fucxingcuties]

[1five1two]

[gremlininho]

looking. at you

[teddy-stonehill]

I went to the local aviary today and they had some really mean things to say about owls.

[teddy-stonehill]

[elodieunderglass]

I can confirm that most birds have a detectable amount of wiring behind the eyes - blinking lights and buttons and sliders and frizzy things that spark and chirp and beep. They also have a lot of soul that can communicate with ours because the programming is fairly compatible. Vultures are clever and curious, swans are clear and lawful, chickens have a lot of personality, caged parrots are dissociated and disinherited and frankly worrying, falconry-trained birds of prey are tremendously businesslike.

And owls are absolutely lovely beasts with their own irreplaceable validity. but they are basically stuffed with polyester fiberfill. They have one button, like a child's toy dinosaur that opens and closes its mouth when you press the back of its head. And it isn't even a sophisticated electronic button it's just a lever that rocks back and forth to make the claws open and close. I think they may have actually evolved independently from sponges. Their skulls simply exist to create holes that funnel sound and light, and as a place to hang a giant hinged beak. An owl is just an empty tube like a windchime that the wind whistles through, and you can drop meat down it. They use the meat to generate feathers, and then emit the bones in pressed little packages like those machines that flatten a penny and stamp it with the logo of a theme park. I think that's the gist of it - most birds are electronics of varying levels of sophistication, but owls are just a system of levers and pulleys. No elevator music in those skulls, just the wind echoing through empty caverns of slightly irritating design. Absolutely fantastic.

[rudywiser]

Are owls smart? Lord no.

Are owls efficient? So much so, that they don't need to be smart.

[vvarhound]

All the space in their skulls is legitimately too taken up by eyeball to fit in any brain

[mithrel]

^ This. Owl eyeballs are literally so large they touch inside the skull. That's why they can rotate their heads so far, they can't move their eyes independently.

[pickledfishgirl]

I would fucking DREAM to open up a bird sanctuary when im older, fuck normal jobs i wanna make a conservatory for this floofy diva