slightly distracted by a white wall

M. | she/her | 22 | INFP | ♐ |3rd year med student💉 created this side blog to document my journey and motivate myself

[dustyheartmug]

thinking about the casual intimacy of showing someone you love an unfinished work of art, the underlying message saying, i trust you with my unpolished heart

[naprasno]

i can say embarrassing things on here because y’all are not real

[lazyanddistracted]

Hello sweethearts! Long time no see, I'm aware.

I had my summer semester anatomy dissection exam yesterday (15/3/19) and it went so well. I am an extremely squeamish person but I really enjoyed it. The exam was very very difficult, of course, but I got an A! So I am very happy. Did a lot of late night studying but the hard work paid off.

I held a brain in my hands. And also a heart. And a stomach. And liver. YAS. It was awesome, really.

Also I am taking a subject called clinical anatomy and it is so interesting, seeing some real doctor action, even though it's only videos and powerpoints, since all my main subjects are pre-clinical that means theory only.

I guess that's it for today, I'm not gonna do anything at all this weekend, I am so extremely tired.

See you next time xx! ❤️❤️

[lazyanddistracted]

[badsciencejokes]

The only reason — view on Instagram http://bit.ly/2S8wVpl

[lazyanddistracted]

29.1.2019 0:46

So right now I'm on a holiday, which means no school for the next 2 and something weeks! (and I am actually going skiing in the morning, yay!) and I don't have to study that much but I like being a little bit ahead in my studies and I like to do some reading at least, just to be a little bit active and right now I'm looking at some structures in my favourite anatomy atlas ever, just to get a general idea and revise some structures I haven't seen since like november 😅...

[lazyanddistracted]

I’m a 19 years old girl.

When I was 9, I wanted to be a vet.

When I was 14 and 15, I was super interested in foreign studies and languages.

And I have dreamed of becoming a doctor since I was 16.

But a month before my 19th birthday I felt, like I had lost my way. I was sure medicine was not for me. I felt like I failed myself, my family, teachers, everyone, even though there was nothing at stake, really. I felt like a complete disappointment and a failure. I wanted to give up so hard. I wanted to apply for law insted of medicine, even history and archaelogy felt super interesting and throwing all the biology, chemistry and physics I have studied for so long, just to apply for a med school out of the window didn’t sound bad at all. I was honestly depressed, I felt like my life didn’t have a meaning.

But you know what?

I woke up today and realised, that I was back. That I didn’t want to do anything else, that I was sure there was no other way for me than medicine really. I am sure there will be another time, when I am not sure, but one thing I am sure of? I am always going to go back to medicine and I am always going to do my best to get accepted to a med school and become a doctor.

Wish me luck and to everyone here struggling to find out what to do in the future, you will find your way, just don’t sweat it, it will come to you eventually.

💕

[lazyanddistracted]

M. from a year ago, I'm so happy you persisted. Thank you for not giving up. I would never get where I am now without you.

[lazyanddistracted]

Okay so today I fucked up my chemistry exam big time even though I studied so hard, and I don’t feel like studying today, I need some rest… The exam was 9 hours ago and I still feel like crying. Well, sometimes things just don’t work out, I guess… But still, I feel so down. I want to get to a med school so hard and I fucked up so hard… Well… I’m gonna go and watch some Grey’s anatomy and then I’m going to sleep.

Hope you had a better day than I did💓.

(photo from my chemistry lab earlier today)

[lazyanddistracted]

Seeing this post from more than a year ago makes me feel so hopeful. I fucked up, I felt like my world was going to fall apart, and look at me now. I'm a med student. I did it. One test didn't define me, it pushed me forward.

[lazyanddistracted]

At which school are you going to study?

Hello, sorry for my late reply, I study general medicine at Charles University in Prague! 😊

[lazyanddistracted]

Hi! A Quick Update!

I am doing very well, the school is AMAZING AND I LOVE IT. I honestly enjoy studying so much.

[naturaekos]

[studyspiration-coffee]

whenever you think nothing is working for me, always ask but am I working for me?

your answer is crucial.

get up, dust yourself off, and try again.

[thegoodvybe]

[lazyanddistracted]

UPDATE

I know I haven't been really active but I have few updates.

- I have graduated high school with the best scores possible

- I got accepted to my dream med school!!!!!

So I hope to post some more, when I start med school, even though it's gonna be almost impossible.

[lazyanddistracted]

Hi guys!❤ I don’t have a study photo for you today, even though I have been quite productive today.

Studying is very important and necessary, however, sometimes I really need some quiet time for myself, no tv shows, no textbooks. So I grabbed snacks (cashews, dried plums/prunes and pecans which I might not eat after all because I’m a allergic to wallnuts) and my book, and I am going to read! Finally. I love reading so much but I haven’t really had the time, but I am going to read right now.

Enjoy your evening, see you tomorrow!✨

[studyblr]

envision yourself exactly where you want to be. what motivates you? picture that, and never let it go. keep it in your mind and heart as you construct a plan to achieve what you want. with discipline and some confidence, you will reach your goal. you will.

[lazyanddistracted]

Hi guys!✨ Here's a little sneak peek of my 2018 diary/journal/planner!😊 It is the Alice in Wonderland limited edition by Moleskine and I got it for like 16€ from bookdepository.com (highly recommend this online bookstore, they have free shipping and you can find almost anything on there) I like this planner a lot so far, even though the pages are a bit too thin, and for example the pastel stabilo highlighters bleed through like crazy!😡 Anyway, if you would like to see more od my diary, let me know.❤ Love you so much and hope you had an amazing day!✨