Since moving across the country and giving up my car, I have been utilizing public transportation to get to and from work. It’s convenient, I avoid paying $10/day in parking, and usually there is some added entertainment value to my day.
One particular day, about two weeks ago, I missed the first bus and was forced to ride the second one that came around (luckily, there are four bus options within 10 minutes, so I can easily hop on any one of them for the same destination, around the same arrival time). This bus was fairly empty, which was fantastic. The driver was nice, no one smelled particularly bad, and I had a whole row of seats to myself. Primo. Then, a tiny man in a tiny cowboy hat with tiny cowboy boots stood up to talk, very loudly, to the bus driver. I was sitting far enough away that I shouldn’t have been able to hear him, had he been speaking at a normal volume. He was telling her, so loudly, that he had watched porn over the weekend, specifically his daughter’s film, and what an amazing body she had. He spewed expletives and vividly described her enormous breasts and what a fantastic flick it was.
At this point I was looking to the few people sitting around me, to try and take a social cue for what to do in this situation. I kept looking around, wide-eyed, not believing what I had heard.
For over 6 torturous blocks, this tiny man kept going on an on about how hot it was, and the bus driver, a nice woman in her mid-50′s, desperately tried to quiet him down and explain that wasn’t something you do, let alone talk about. He kept talking over her, excitedly describing his favorite moments of said porno, and she finally threatened to have him removed off the bus. He angrily sat down, and then when his stop came, stormed off the bus and down the sidewalk. I tried to follow him to see what such a man does during the week, but his little legs and tiny strides made it difficult to stay inconspicuous.
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