Emma

hopeless romantic | innocent and getting older

[lcsagony]

Truth may appear in many forms, yet ultimate reality is one. And to discover it, one must look not merely with the eyes, but with the heart.

[lcsagony]

You were the only vivid thing in my monochrome life, my dear.

[lcsagony]

Nothingness.

As if you’ve found yourself completely alone in the very heart of the abundance you once hoped life would bring.

You wanted to speak, but settled for simply staring at one single point.

You wanted to cry out for help, but gave up because you knew no one would hear you.

You wanted love.

A shoulder to lean on.

But then you realized that you had to become your own shoulder.

Because no one could ever hold your weight the way you do.

HT

[lcsagony]

His nobility wasn’t the kind that screamed for attention; it was quiet, yet just as visible — bright, radiant, and impossible not to fall in love with.

[lcsagony]

I have always felt like I was finally home whenever I was with you, like I had found the place I had been searching for my entire life. I never wanted to be separated from you. Even though the moment we shared lasted only five minutes, I wanted it to last forever. Those five minutes were the most enchanting moments I had ever experienced, and I was genuinely happy just to be with you. Somehow, those few minutes made me feel both the ache of something far too short and the warmth of something everlasting at the same time.

[lcsagony]

Just once, I wanted to see my reflection in your soul without feeling guilty.

I wanted to love you freely, just once — to keep you in the gentlest corner of my heart without thinking about rules or ethics, and to live all my unrestrained feelings through you. You were my safe place, my one and only secret love…

The special love I could never reach… and never will..

[lcsagony]

I offered you a peace born from the purest place in my heart. You were never free enough to receive it, but I’m still glad I gave you that kindness.

[lcsagony]

I watch my life slipping through my fingers every time I allow myself to hope.

All I ever wanted was for you to hold my hands freely, just once —

without fear, without judgment, without shame.

My time is running out now, and with every passing day, I find myself longing for the one before it.

And besides… weren’t we the ones who once held onto hope? Weren’t better days supposed to come?

Why, then, is my heart left in ruins, writhing beneath the pain of its own destruction?

And why are you not here — you, the harbor I sought refuge in whenever I wanted to escape from myself?

Why is it so unbearably difficult not to feel everything this deeply, this delicately?

-HT

[lcsagony]

My soul is suffering from the very thing it once hoped would bring it the deepest love and affection. The love and loyalty I could have given you were never things you were truly capable of understanding or returning; I know that now. But sometimes the greatest loves are the ones forced to pretend they do not exist, simply to avoid hurting the other person. And when I finally reached you, the harbor where I sought refuge, you weren't there.

f

[lcsagony]

My heart is twisting with such unbearable pain that this familiar feeling of helplessness is tearing me apart.

I could have been good for you; I could have healed you. I could have seen you in ways you had never been seen before, loved you in ways you had never been loved before, and enchanted you in ways you had never been enchanted before.

That gray, miserable life of yours could have been painted with the colors born from my deepest wounds — colors that were painfully real, yet still full of hope.

I could have accepted you despite everything and given you the closest thing to heaven on earth.

Believe me… I would have done it.

[lcsagony]

Do you remember the details of me too? The way I laughed, the way I looked at you, the way I loved… do they come alive before your eyes like a miracle?

Does your heart bleed too? As if your fragile hopes were being carved apart by the cruel blade of reality..

-ht

[lcsagony]

I was even willing to sin just to hold your hands once.

-HT

[lcsagony]

Even though we are apart, we have shared the same sky, and I send him my heartfelt healing energy with all my compassion.

-ht

[lcsagony]

My only wish was for some affection. Maybe a little more.

[lcsagony]

I can see the storms raging within you. The pain of something is so clearly visible in your face, in your eyes... I wish I could reach through those storms with my own hands and bring a sunny bliss in their place. This mystery you carry has created a deep desire in me to truly know you. As long as you allow it, I am ready to stand by you as a shield. I am not saying you need help; you certainly do not. Your noble character is already built to survive amidst hardships. I simply want to be a support, a companion, a soul holding your hand.

[lcsagony]

The most compelling thing about you was the way you concealed your feelings for me. You knew you shouldn’t approach me, yet I could see your intimacy and longing, even as you tried to hide your emotions. Perhaps that was the best thing you could have done.

That's why I fell in love with you.

[lcsagony]

“You hardly speak to me, yet the grief etched on your face reveals the unspoken pain and sorrow you're hiding.”

-HT