LDN Shooting BCN

London boy moves to Barcelona. London boy titles blog wrong. London boy travels. 

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Get Rid of Your Gay Best Friend

In today’s society most of us have a gay best friend. That one guy that, to whatever extent, fulfils Damian-from-Mean-Girls-level-kind-of-BFF. 

I’ve found myself in recent years spreading the table with the rainbow flag or adding a pinch of salt and glitter. Why? Because I feel like I should. I feel like I should be identifying as gay in my actions because that’s something that’s been expected of me since I came out. 

We become a character of what culture tells us “gay” is supposed to be. To an extent, we lose our pre-gay selves and perhaps those were actually the truer versions. Being gay shouldn’t be the only thing that defines us. Straight people do not introduce themselves as straight, and they do not wear their sexuality on their sleeves, so why should we? Or worse, why should we allow someone to do that for us? There’s a fear that we’ll be deemed as “closeted,” or hiding our “real” selves. It’s as though we are being dishonest if we are not immediately outed and identifiable as gay in our actions. 

As gay men, we have our self to remind ourselves of our sexuality, we have inequality in the workplace, derogatory terms over drinks on nights out and we have popular culture drilling gayness into identifiable characteristics. 

If you put your best friend in a box, then the walls of that box are all they see. The laws of that box are all they abide by and perhaps those laws don’t allow them to be who they actually are, perhaps something they may even need more time to explore. Being gay is one thing and boxing that up before it’s fully blossomed doesn’t allow for your best friend to identify and explore options of what they could be. Don’t box up your friend into a character that he or she feels they have to fulfil. Let him or her discover him or herself by what they love to do, and not just by who they choose to love. 

Your gay best friend is not the Guncle to your child, they are not Henny on a night out and nor are they a “YAS QUEEEEEEEN!” when they wear something nice. Simply, let your best friend be your best friend. I assure you, you are not their “straight “best friend. You are their best friend. 

Next time you want to take your gay best friend shopping or have a movie night or go to the beach, don’t. Invite your best friend, because I can guarantee that they’ll appreciate the invite for themselves, not their sexuality.

[ldnshootingbcn]

Love Me With Roses

In Nan's last month she received so many flowers we didn't have enough vases to put them in. They sat in the bath tub at the back of the house for lack of temporary homes. When I first arrived to say goodbye to Nan I felt useless, everyone had their role to play in Nan's wellbeing and I was just getting in the way. 

So, I searched the house and found vases in every nook and cranny I could. I went into the back bathroom, stripped the flowers of their cellophane shell and let them blossom in new homes. I took each vase in to show Nan before spreading them around the house. Nan's reply to each vase was: "Aren't they beautiful, look Harry, aren't they beautiful." And they were, I saw the genuine happiness they brought Nan and it's a memory I'll hold onto until the day I join her. So I've called this poem: Remember me with Roses.

In the buttercups you'll find my youth, 

Or the youth you spent with me. 

In the daisies you'll find my hope, 

As deep as the oceans and the seas.

In the ivy you'll find my tempered tongue, 

My stubborn nature and my pride. 

In the dandelions you'll find my wishes, 

That you fulfil each day you are alive. 

In the lavender you'll find my kitchen, 

Filled with scents of me. 

Be it Shepard's Pie or Lasagne, 

Mugs of melted Jelly or hot tea. 

In the seeds of the poppies you'll see my eyes, 

Rolling to the clouds. 

You'll laugh, and I will tut, 

While Grandad orders another round.

In the blue bells you'll find my curls, 

Perfectly kept and black as night. 

In the Lilies you'll find my smile, 

My reminder that everything is alright. 

In the wild flowers you'll find my memories, 

Keep them wild and keep them dear. 

Let them blossom in the sunlight 

And embrace them with no fear. 

Whether it's trips to BHS at Christmas, 

Or Birthdays gone on by, 

Keep my memories close to you 

And let them guide your dreams at night. 

In the furs you'll find Lea Hall Road, 

And everything left behind. 

From Princes' Palace to great green houses,

In the furs our past, you'll find. 

In fresh shoots you'll find my pearls, 

My necklaces and rings. 

Let them glimmer in the morning dew 

And dance with the sun and wind. 

In the carnations you'll find my happiness, 

My idle chatter and chuckles light. 

Let them remind you of the simple things, 

The small pleasures that help us fly. 

In the willows you'll find my voice, 

Say hello when you pass.

Because I'm telling you I'm listening,

And I'm not at all that far. 

But in the roses, 

In the roses you'll find my love 

And that's where It will always be. 

My undying, eternal, unbeatable love. 

In the roses you'll find me.

[ldnshootingbcn]

To a broken heart,

Do not look for the love you had, you will not find that again.

But, be ready for something new. 

Maybe this new love will not find you so quickly, or it will not hit you so hard.

Maybe it will take years.

Maybe it’s already there, yet you cannot see it through your walls.

Do not compare it to what you had. It is a different kind of love, a different dimension.

That’s not to say it is anything less than what you had before. It is different but it is or it will be, love.

Scoop it up. Embrace it. Cherish every bite with all the joy of a nacho and a good dip.

You deserve nachos and you deserve love again. Again. Again.

[ldnshootingbcn]

I recently turned 27 and I want this to be a big year for me. I can’t say exactly where I’ll be at 28 but I’ve set myself some goals to help me get to wherever that is:

Be comfortable in my own body and nowhere else

Act with purpose

Don’t make sacrifices 

Swim regularly (Preferably in the sea)

Publish

Smile at strangers

Make intentional efforts to go screen free

Watch more sunsets

[ldnshootingbcn]

Space & Place

After three years, today was the day I moved out of my apartment.

I thought I would cry for the relationships I’d made there, or the chapters in my life that unfolded as quickly and surprisingly as a summer shower. I thought I’d cry more for those chapters that unfurled over months, sometimes taking days at a time to turn a page, heavy as lead. But, I didn’t. I hung my key on the hook and walked the apartment one last time. I cried for its white washed walls that I’d scattered with stickers of birds in flight. I cried for the skylight over the shower that was always speckled with dirt from the Spanish rain. I cried for the old beams holding up a crooked ceiling that would occasionally season my bed with plaster. This space was my space and I cried for that.

It’s different to place.Place is made of the architecture of relationships. Place is something you fall in love with because of the people or the things in it. Place is an accumulation of temporary things that draws an affinity you cannot help but trace. Things that are right or resonate with you at that particular point in your life.

Yet, space. Space is an entirely different subject matter. Number 4 Allada Vermell was my space. Even stripped of my possessions it did not lose its charm. It was like looking at a lover without clothes, all the more vulnerable yet all the more. As I looked around my apartment one last time I realised the love I had poured into this space. My love came running thick and fast as my tears. For, as unintentionally as can be, it has shaped me. It has supported me, comforted me and inspired me throughout the years. It has been a constant in my life and seen me at my best and worst moments. I have been entirely myself in this space and it has never judged or not had time for me. It was entirely mine and something I became extremely proud of, if only to demonstrate to myself.

We functioned together as slick as oil in water. I knew exactly how much to nudge the tap to get the temperature hot enough, how to hit the light switch to ensure the light stayed on. I knew how to work the lock to the terrace in summer, when the metal door swelled in the heat. I knew when to watch my head for low hanging beams, wires or over vents, where to sleep on the bed so it didn’t creek, how to stack my clothes in the wardrobe so the shelf didn’t fall of its hinges. I knew how hard I needed to kick the fridge to ensure it closed or that I needed to move the washing machine away from the cupboard a few inches so it could shake so hard with the next wash it would shuffle its way back over there by the end of the cycle. I knew all of its charming quirks that others may call its flaws, that the next tenants may want to change but those were the things that made me love it. Made me feel special in it, because they were our little secret, something we had learned together as we’d grown together.

Barcelona, as a place, I will miss you but I’ll come back. You’ll be there with new people, updated faces, structural facelifts and I’ll fall in love with you all over again for different reasons, no doubt.

Allada Vermell as a space I have just closed the door on; you will never be the same.

You will never truly be mine again and that chapter in my life is closed as firmly as is the door. So, today I’m kissing you goodbye, thanking you for 3 years of evolving love and moving forward knowing that we had a damn, good run.

[ldnshootingbcn]

I know you don’t wanna talk to me so this is what I will do. 

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Trying to get an angle on this

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The World Tomorrow

You are what you think you are. Think you are stronger than this. That you deserve better than this. That things will get better than this and better than that. Know how good it can get yet don't compare, give chance for things to get there again. Think that you can love again. And someone deserves your love again. Think that time shall let you thank the past. Think that the past has sculpted you today and you wouldn't change you today for the world tomorrow. Think that you tomorrow will be older, wiser and better than you are today, twice as better as the day before. Think that it's time for growth, for movement and traction. Think that it's time to let love love live again and to live with undying love for you. It's the longest relationship you'll ever have. Think of you, that you are.

[ldnshootingbcn]

This is what Pride looks like - Mexico City

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Meet the cat that outright refused to sit on the mat

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The definition of puppy dog eyes - spotted in Washington D.C

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Planting promise 

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A shift in focus

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I took this photo shortly before someone screamed and everyone on the street started running. I am safe, we were not even near the attack, but to see the city that I, and so many others love, transform like this is horrific. Now is not a time for hopes or prayers, now is a time to take action and come back stronger than ever. We can not live in fear or they have already won.

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This is how we should be shooting sheep. Pull the wool out of your eyes

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The fury of the fjords

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Now, here’s something worth photographing