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[leafuzzycristaren]

[leafuzzycristaren]

[leafuzzycristaren]

一篇自说自话的随笔

06/21/2017 纽约

今天早上醒来发现了我喜欢日本的理由。

“为什么这么喜欢日本”，这样问了自己几遍之后，似乎找到了一些端倪。

原来因为，我接触的与日本有关的东西都是美好的。つまり、我把所有美好的事物都和日本系带了起来。语言，建筑，艺术，设计，音乐，时尚，文学，哲学，人文，人性的善面，科技，城市，轨道建设，意味，爱，美。。。

这样很好啊，我也会觉得。但是有时候就担心这样而然形成了fetish会让舵偏向也有可能。因为任何一个国家，社会，人，都有美与丑的一面，所以看事情都不能片面。如果做到这一点，和喜爱的日本的美好的事物一直在一起，悪くないんだ。这么逻辑说来，除了日本，在其他国家和文化身上也可以发现很多美，可以无可救药的爱上法国，北欧，印尼，加纳，阿根廷。。这个地球，宇宙的一切。。我想发现更多的美。

所以说，日本真是个可怕的国家啊。将短暂而美丽的樱花信奉为国花，极端而美丽，这个喜爱美，追求美，传播美的国家。让像我这样刚发现美的力量的青年患上fetish。还好我及时反省，不能把人类创造出的一切画上等号，能画上等号的事物，都是宇宙和自然最奥妙的东西，比如物理，重力，能量。。所以，我也是刚刚踏上追求美的人生了吧。

因为美是本质，美是经历时间的洗礼的沉淀，美是美好的初愿，美是复杂和简单的结晶，美是生的意义，美是死亡的归所。

“The philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said the question of beauty takes us away from the surfaces to thinking about the core foundations of things. This insight is vital to understanding that good design can touch all our lives in the minutest detail – and good design is foundational to beauty and what we bring into the world.”

“It is in truth that we find beautiful things, and it is in truth that we can operate authentically. One might have the head of an engineer, but one must always quest with the heart of a poet.”

Excerpt From: Alan Moore. “Do Design — Why beauty is key to everything.” iBooks.

[leafuzzycristaren]

last autumn season in middletown

恍恍惚惚过了节节段段的时间，又意识到想写点什么了。

有在日常手账里神神叨叨涂涂画画，但还是和略有些仪式感的blog不一样。有时候喜欢这种仪式感，像建筑空间的仪式感，anticipate particular moods for something unforeseen.

因为在丹麦的半年感觉过了大二就大四了。

大四的十一月，窗外一片金黄，这种时候最喜欢透明的落地大窗子，

虽然窗外的景色看了三年，自动附酌了陈旧感的滤镜。

后记：^unfinished^ 这篇随笔未写完存入草稿 现在已一点也想不起来接下去想说的话了

Fall, 2016 于Middletown

[leafuzzycristaren]

橙香拿铁

我是个coffee person，虽然也很喜欢喝茶。可是在有心情的时候，比如很累的时候，不开心或者是开心的时候，就渴望咖啡的味道。后来读书知道，多半也是拜于多巴胺所赐。最开始喝咖啡成瘾是十六岁，当时买一杯星巴克觉得简直太奢侈父母的钱了，都是到了 啊 这个下午要复习完这门工科 然后一下午在星巴克啃书的情况。两眼直蹬着高中生物书里缠绕的DNA分子图，肆意让瞳孔放大。想到我最开始染上咖啡是因为星巴克季度出的橙香拿铁，真的太好喝了，喝着就有种特别高兴的味道。然后，就再也没喝到了。仔细想一想，也就是espresso奶泡再加一些橙子味的syrup吧。但是 喜欢就是喜欢。特别是变成了回忆的话。

我对橙子也有天然的好感，最喜欢的水果，最喜欢橙子里的维他命C的味道。今天看完了orange days, 这个04年的日剧，故事讲的是大四的青春，在面临找工作，就职成为社会人前最后一年的大学时光，一帮颜值爆炸的年轻人大学里给这个朋友圈取名叫橙子会。在看的时候除了故事情节很可爱之外，一直很认真的再思考妻夫木聪和瑛太到底喜欢哪个好呢。哈哈，真的很纠结，到现在还是没法决定啊。

真爱满满的青春真好。所以这个时候就会想有橘子会这样一伙子的朋友真好啊，租上越野车去海边烧烤（好日系啊哈哈）。但是机缘巧合已经很感谢身边遇到的这些朋友，这样就很好不是吗。可能就是贪婪的向往橘子会吧。虽然是电视剧，

所以心情上有这么那么多的想法才适合用艺术表达出来啊  艺术真的是太好了啊

Spring, 2016 于哥本哈根

[leafuzzycristaren]

To Dear HIMYHM

Hey pokemons, my life is still in this little red home, with my tea latte on a side, little sweet christmas trees in front of me, illuminating in the daytime, shinier than the snow white outside world.

Just last night, I was talking to Ray, who was on her trip, about how our house is so precious. Because we can really be ourselves and express ourselves in a language we created (haha). I was so busy for the semester, the busiest period of all my life, but I’m so glad that I lived in this house--whenever I came home from all the fatigue and stress, the little red house washed them away and I was able to laugh them away with all of your living stickers’ laughing faces. Though, sometimes I think it was a bit too loud lol. I LOVE THIS HOUSE. We are so healthy that we didn’t have candies for the little kids who knocked at our doors in halloween o_O We are energetic-- Mikachu exercises almost every morning; Haenahya gets so happy with dances and good crush-zico-aquaman’s music and Obasan G works out with the dumbbells and asks me for bike rides and just the presence of her perfect body, energizes the space~Obasan M got skinner this semester! the look she gave when refused late night food was so impressive that i still remember, and how she could still have the energy to chill with iiii-san at 2am is still a mystery for me... THERE ARE JUST TONS TO TALK ABOUT but I’m gonna go to gym now before it closes at 3:45pm today

XIXIXIXIXIXIXI Enjoy your break guys!!!

[leafuzzycristaren]

holiday’s midnight, 350ml

so it feels like oh another year, another winter, in middletown

where is middletown? a town in the middle of nowhere, but it’s somewhere to me, for the past three yrs and a place to come back in the near future..

but this year feels different. Different people,  different set of memories and prosperities. I like this year’s better.

Because I feel i’m getting closer to whom I am inside. I’m discovering a person who always lives inside and is gradually emerging from the body skin to express the inner juices. I guess it’s just like it’s the right timing of certain things to form their shapes.

I LOVE THE VOCATION MODE!! I finally get to slow down, have the time to think what i am reading doing. It’s the third day of the vocation, i’ve been SLEEPING, eating, having warm porridge for breakfast, chilling with myself and friends, playing guitar, illustrating, writing, reading, watching movies and food documentaries. wow it’s sounds so constructive but its mostly just chill cuz everything happens slowly. 

Today’s also unexpectedly really warm! 

[leafuzzycristaren]

「links to trips」

@winter in nyc/kyoto/osaka/boston

Pipilotti Rist “Pixel Forest” The New Museum of Contemporary Art:

http://www.nyartbeat.com/event/2016/686A

“Dreamlands: Immersive Cinema and Art, 1905–2016” Exhibition The Whitney Museum of American Art:

http://www.nyartbeat.com/event/2016/4A3A

“EAF16: Emerging Artist Fellowship Exhibition” Socrates Sculpture Park:

http://www.nyartbeat.com/event/2016/568D

“Members Invitational” Exhibition Artists Equity:

http://www.nyartbeat.com/event/2016/E3AC

Zaha Hadid Exhibition Leila Heller Gallery (Chelsea):

http://www.nyartbeat.com/event/2016/5EED

Railway Arts Festival Vol. 6: Adventure of the Structure Art Area B1:

http://www.kansaiartbeat.com/event/2016/7CA1

Metro

A hip club popular with the younger generation, Metro is one of the best music venues in Kyoto, offering all genres of music by local and international artists. In recent years, it has expanded to become a gathering place for lovers of art of all kind, including film, literature, and visual art. Film screenings and lectures are often held there, so check their website for performance schedules.

Price: Mid-range Address: B1F Ebisu Building, Kawabata-Marutamachi, Saykyo-ku, Kyoto 606-8396, [phone]

Nega-Posi

http://www.negaposi.net/live/index.php?year=2017&month=1

Jan. 3 (Tue) Weekend Fan／オータムス／フレッシュマンズ

OPEN 19:00 / START 20:00 adv.1500 yen door.1800 yen

Zac Baran

A basement bar located just south of the University of Kyoto, Zac Baran is a veteran of the Kyoto live music bar scene. A popular hangout for folk from all walks of life – students and staff from the nearby university, doctors and nurses from the nearby clinic, and anyone who appreciates jazz and blues – legend has it that this basement bar was the gathering place of the Japanese Red Army, the party behind Japans’ communist revolution in the 1970s and 1980s. Regardless of its history, Zac Baran is a cool place to hang out..

Price: Budget Hours: Tuesday to Sunday 6:00 p.m.-2:00 a.m. Address: Metabo Okazaki B1, 18 Shogoin Sannocho, Sakyo-ku, Kyoto 606-8392, [phone]

Jittoku (拾得)

Like Taku Taku, Jittoku used to be a sake brewery, and even today, after decades as a performance venue, it has retained the atmosphere of a brewery, with its stone floors and seats made of sake barrels. Anyone can book the venue for a performance, making it a great place for aspiring local musicians. The venue generally caters to a mature, Japanese crowd, so most of the music performed will be rock, blues, or folk, but there will be occasional performances of J-Pop, electronica, and other genres.

Price: Mid-range Hours: 5:30 p.m.-12:00 a.m. Address: 815 Hishiyacho, Omiya Shimodachiiru Sagaru, Kyoto, 602-8125, [phone]

Osaka muse

http://www.arm-live.com/muse/osaka/

5 THU--POP'N ROCK MUSIC～2017新春LIVE～

Baby Leaf / Navy Back Ground / ヒラカワリョウ(BLUE NAME) / film girl / 稲垣圭(スタン) 18:00-18:30¥2,000-¥2,500 D別 ￥600

7 SAT--キャラバン　イン　オーサカ Eve 17:15-18:00¥3,980-¥4,520 D別 ￥600

http://www.bandsintown.com/cities/osaka-japan

https://blog.gaijinpot.com/groovy-osaka-small-venues-big-names/

[leafuzzycristaren]

上苍保佑吃完了饭的人民

看了蓝色大门，出门去了weshop买辛辣面和芒果，看到了一个之前在东京玩耍过却好久没再联络的美国女同学，最近剪了寸头，倚在放置微波炉的角落等她加热的三明治，觉得什么发生在她身上，却小心翼翼地不加过问。她眼睛直直地盯向前方的画面在我脑海里挥之不去，想到去年在东京，因为在新宿一个爵士老头开的清吧聊过头错过回家电车而留宿她和她旅行的家人在上野公园附近的宾馆里，阳光开朗的她和现在不知所措的她，两个挥之不去的画面让时间、空间和人的界限无比模糊化了，我想到一些因为时间空间的错位而错位的人和零星的那几个距离不变的人，我的想法也就仅仅埋入夜里。夜真的很深，可以埋藏很多很多的想法，夜望不到边，所以我也不需要担心它们的去从。 然后又开始听窦唯，好像是反反复复的，每次都有类似又不同的感觉，做很多喜欢的事情都会有这种感觉吧。为什么有时候美是和悲不可分离的呢，这样的美它就是这样存在的吗，如果不是的话，它是怎么得到的呢，是因为故事吧，由悲致美的过程都是故事导致的吧，那我们编一些故事或许就可以得到一些美。天堂实在太高太远，眼泪眼屎，意守丹田，我们也只能表现得这样。

請上蒼來保佑這些隨時可以出賣自己 隨時準備感動 絕不想死也不知所終 開始感覺到撐的人民吧

[leafuzzycristaren]

The River building

Many times, eagering for a life with parmigiana lollipop, meiji dark chocolate and champagne, feeling like floating above the surface of the ground, I inevitably think about I’m so privileged to actually have had moments like this and are offered with resources and opportunities to pursue the floating experiences, not necessarily an elite life but a life a bit beyond worrying about starvation and homelessness. I hope more people who don’t take the floating experiences for granted could actually access to these moments. Thats why good public spaces matter. Everyone deserves a floating experience and a moment of spring breeze and reminiscent about the present happiness.

[leafuzzycristaren]

Everything has a weight that we need to sense

In Marcel Proust's novel In Search of Lost Time, the narrator dips a madeleine in a cup of tea, and when he tastes it, it suddenly recalls memories of his childhood home. His recollections ultimately extract the entire town FROM that single cup of tea. I had a similar experience today. I was holding that friend's hand, the temprature I was feeling and sharing with my worn out body, extracts ME. Me, tired and confused occasionally for even tho just a few months.  I'm happy, but I sense all the guilt that I could do better. I'm not a perfectionist who bears no mistakes. I'm quite the opposite, who values the imperfection and believes that's part of my philosophy of humanity. But, I only seek honesty and consciousness of me being that me who I would smile to in that windy 1am night walking home alone. But Thank you. The eyes looking right at me, which appreciate my existence in their reflections.  

2015年12月10日 15:35 

[leafuzzycristaren]

于草席上

2015年8月16日 23:41

今夜的东京 我披着半透明雨衣 抱着裹好防水罩的相机 下了电车 跑回家（airbnb） 雨太大 路太远 我暂时躲进一桩小楼的廊檐避雨 我想等雨小一些吧… 可是我想听歌 听lamp那首雨降る夜の向こう、 我好喜欢东京 这是最后一夜 大雨的东京 狼狈逃雨的我 事实证明我是一个挺拼的人 我解开重重被淋透的防雨层 掏出相机 在廊檐拍雨 我想拍照 拍下最后一夜大雨的东京 在最平凡的街道 藏着平静的心情 雨小了 我走了

[leafuzzycristaren]

Today' sunset:) (Øster Søgade)

[leafuzzycristaren]

在冷冷的雨夜里，骑车去吃拉面。前一周在巴塞罗那和里昂，这一趟旅行很突然，开始于all day studio hell week的结束,一点没有好好休息和计划，就这么突然搭飞机上路了。 非常开心的旅行，也是本性旅行，所以很开心。倾心于欧洲的landscape，丰富的文化内涵，有了想在欧洲求学的念头， 这样就可以很方便的到处玩了哈哈哈。

[leafuzzycristaren]

The first night of easter break, I’m really glad that our senior housing group work out and we are now like a family sharing each other’s life, ask questions and share opinions even tho we are in different time zones in Connecticut, London, Budapest and Copenhagen.

So Mika asked a question “What is a universal truth that others believe in but that you personally disagree with?” 

I found its hard to define the question but I offered one “everyone is born equal”, which I dont quite agree for now. at least I changed my mind about this.

then I searched some articles on internet and found this, which I realized myself before but I have kept forgetting these days.

The more people I meet, the more I realize how many fears, experiences and emotions we share. Life is so busy that we often don’t have time to connect with one another about the above universal life truths. Sometimes it feels good to stop for a while and think about the millions of others who may be feeling exactly the same as you at this moment in time. It suddenly feels a lot less lonely as we connect with the ephemeral ‘other.’ Right now, somewhere on our planet someone is feeling exactly the same as you…whether that be sad, happy, scared, lonely, rejected, excited or jubilant. Without knowing it, many of us are leading parallel lives. You are never alone, even when it feels as if you are.

This really helps me feel better. in this easter holiday night when everyone is traveling but I’m in my room starring  at the sky. I chose to stay because I believe I have things to do here. For example, I finally took a walk along the river with swans today. It was windy and beautiful.

[leafuzzycristaren]

来北欧了？

来哥本哈根已经快两周了，有种前天才落脚和住着快一个月的交错恍惚感。老实讲，还没怎么explore这个地方，相机也只背出去一次。前两周在精神和身体上和jetleg以及换课来回折腾，一直因为执念想上professional track的design studio，再加上其他的课，来的第一周每天想的就是换课换课。感觉因此都没有给脑子留出一块体验体验北欧的心境。现在算是尘埃落定，逐渐进入状态了吧。

昨天Architecture&Design有个social在城中心一个叫Taphouse的小酒吧，除了一些停留在头面名号的社交，很意外的和一个学建筑的美国人发生了一段自己隐隐期待的谈话，这些时间的思考被重新挖了出来翻炒了--不甘愿平凡 考虑自己有限的能力只能做个老实的平凡人. 把改变世界作为口号对我来说是愚蠢的想法，我就是个平凡人，只是还怀揣的小有成就的抱负，我爱想有些理想，怎么看都不是错的。想起了这两年对我不管是抽象还是实在影响最大的一个人对我说的比喻 在练肌肉的头两个月，肉眼见不到的成效，继续做见到当那个微小的变化在你自己的身体发生。

再老实讲，丹麦之前对我来说的概念真的是一个来个北欧环游10天里停留两三天的地方吧。直到上周和自己报名的北欧家庭见面，看上去就很智慧的气质型爸爸，down to earth的麻麻，长的并不像的11岁双胞胎姑娘, 和一个睫毛比妹妹们还长的13岁男孩，全家白的不行，头发比阳光更耀眼的金白色， 这样真实的交流了自己的生活日常环境国家，才有种，既然要住四个月，短短一生里不算忧愁漂泊的四个月，好好了解这个地方和风土人情吧。 No one just ends up there. 看似很偶然的选择，其实都有循序渐进的过程和自己的逻辑，不会意外如果再过两年去个南美研究咖啡豆的生产和种植？？

最近已经studio都会到一两点，课余的影视音乐还是都是日系为主。三天前开追石黑一雄小说改编的一月日剧never let me go，走在街头耳机里是Roly Poly Rag Bear。 有时候在想既然在欧美，是不是应该刻意去转换成欧美的频道？反正都会很好看。又觉得，既然我口味这么东亚，以后还是会回到那个也在全球化的东亚，让我继续看日剧听日系乐队吧。这些东西目前并没有那么矛盾，我还有选择喜好的权利，不给自己定义和绝对的判断 也总是好的。

宿舍楼的电梯坏了，我偏偏住五楼，做laundry真是麻烦。可是明天一定要做了啊。

[leafuzzycristaren]

21-21 Design Site/六本木

I’d say this park in Roppongi is my favorite spot in Tokyo for my summer exploration. I paid four visits, every time it was an 1 hour’s train but the space surprised me at every glance. I was satisfied just being there and being in my state of mind, †here.