Lean Rivera | Blog

Instagram: @leanrivera Email: [email protected]

[leanrivera]

I miss our long walks in the streets of Manila. I miss our favorite coffee shop where we try almost all their drinks. I miss the moment when you always want my drink, and I have no choice but to switch it to yours because you have the cutest smile. I miss sharing cocktails and beers with you in Makati. I miss sneaking into your house at night, hugging you endlessly, and waking up next to you. I miss our breakfast dates – simple but sweet, knowing I’m starting the day right with you. I miss our late-night Facetime calls – ensuring we understand how our day went and what we felt. I miss how you share your AirPods with me as we listen to your favorite Taylor Swifts songs. I missed the moments when you introduced me to your friends, which whom I made friendships too. I miss your support in my career, even if it’s different in your field. I miss your initiative to see me despite your busy schedule. I miss how you understand that I always sleep earlier than you. I miss you for accepting me for who I am and being blunt about what I can improve.

I miss many things about you; I miss doing with you and doing for you. These are the things that I’m thankful for that I could have said to you in person but never had the chance the last time we talked. If I can only have the opportunity to experience this all over again, I will. But this is the risk that we took – our good friendship was at stake. This is the chance that I will never regret taking again. I hope you feel the same way too.

(I wrote a lot about you. And this plain-sailing and incoherent entry is one of the few I will put here. You may never come across this, but if you happen to read this in the future, I want you to know that I'm proud of you, even at times when you feel like I don't. And at this point, I can't help but still miss you.)

[leanrivera]

I started 2022 with no expectations at all. I thought it would be the same as the past two years full of lockdowns and quarantines. But no, we can finally go out again, make memories, and experience life.

It’s been a long but good 2022 for me. I’ve experienced the happiest and most challenging moments. From facing my insecurities and dealing with them. From meeting a lot of new people and breaking down my walls. From closing sales and backout sales. From going on dates and going back to the best one. From balancing my career and deciding to study again. To falling in love and experiencing heartbreak. Most significantly, from the chance of electing the best president, but the majority settle for less than we deserve.

As you all know, I’m not an open book. It takes time to know me, and reading this isn’t enough. Kaya it’s been a long time rin since I posted here. Because I don’t have the energy to share, I have no time, and I’m done with this phase. But what made me go back here is the chance to document my thoughts before this good year ends. It’s going to be relatively short and sentimental, haha

I’ve realized that giving your best is not enough to achieve your desired results. No matter if you give your all, exerted so much time, and put your heart into it, you’ll not get it if it’s not meant for you. That’s the reality of life. To put things in perspective, you don’t get it not because you don’t deserve it but because you deserve the best. 

Another realization that we are all familiar with is — people come and go. Whether it’s a friend or a special someone, it’s tough to let go of the people who have become part of our lives. But sometimes, things don’t just work out. We can’t force friendships or relationships to work. We can always be the one who understands people. Whether it’s our decision or theirs to move forward, I think it is necessary to explain the real reason so we won’t have regrets in the future. 

Not surprisingly, I’m thankful I’m safe from experiencing the quarter-life crisis. I felt that I experienced it too early, like when I was 21 or 22, so I’m truly grateful and satisfied with where I was. 

If there is one thing I’m proud of this year is how I handled the challenges, like facing my fears, avoiding self-doubts, and controlling how I react to different situations. My mindset this 2022, which I want to bring this coming year, is to enjoy and learn from the good and bad moments. No one can stop me from doing my best, creating quality friendships and relationships, and being grateful.

I hope you had a great 2022. I wish nothing but the best for you in 2023. Cheers!

[leanrivera]

[leanrivera]

Sharing this in my blog to fulfill my accountability post last March 2020. I'm happy with my progress. It may be slow but it's still a progress. :)

[leanrivera]

Bigger and better things ahead. Wow, I’m 24! 

[leanrivera]

It feels like I only live for just three months (January to March) this year because of the lockdown...

There are days when I'm hopeful that everything will be okay. There are days when I'm frustrated because I can't accomplish what I planned for this year. There are days when I'm furious because of the government's bad decisions. There are days when I'm motivated to do my work. There are days when I'm stressed because looking for clients in the WFH setup is hard. There are days when I'm delighted. There are days when I feel limited. There are days when I have already accepted the new normal. There are days when I feel agitated because of the rapidly-growing COVID cases in our country. 

These days seem to be repetitive for five long months. Honestly, it's tiring and disappointing. If there's one attitude I firmly believe we must have during this time, it's tenacity. It's a must to accept the situation. But, we don't need to take that we will live in this setup for our lifetime. We need to be persistent and move forward in life. We must be determined to find the excellent daily and genuinely appreciate the little things. 

Tomorrow may be similar to what happened yesterday or what is happening right now. But... Don't lose hope. Okay? Let's try to make each day bearable. Look for motivation in your morning coffee or home-cooked meals. Look for courage in your home workout and challenging WFH tasks. Look for excitement thru your favorite Netflix series or Spotify playlist. Look for inspiration with your family and friends. Look for empathy with the people in your community. Look around and remind yourself that we'll get through this. 

Let's be tenacious enough and not give ourselves any choice but to survive this pandemic. Stay safe, everyone! 

[leanrivera]

If there is one series that I actually love watching during quarantine, it’s The 100. It’s a post-apocalyptic story of how 100 people (born in space) are sent back to Earth in an attempt to determine if it is habitable. This series is about family, friends and survival. More than the theme of this series, I fell in love with how the characters show leadership in diverse challenges. They have different leadership styles but they only have one goal — to save their people. 

I envy countries with great leaders. It’s been years and the Philippines is still stuck with selfish politicians who only think for their good. Politicians who only want the power to protect their businesses. Politicians who only want money from people. Politicians whose only goal is to take away the freedom of speech.

We are still in the middle of the pandemic. People are sick and dying. People are hungry. People are suffering. The government must focus on mass testing, flattening the curve, finding a cure and protecting the people. Now that we are under the General Community Quarantine, issues like public transportation, education and employment opportunities must be prioritized. However, our government is not focusing on the important things. They are still being their usual egocentric persona. 

I always believe that the Philippines still has hope. I trust that our country is still filled with good leaders. If we act together, I know that we can break the cycle of greedy politicians and useless government. Let our voices be heard. Do not let yourself be silenced. 

As of the moment, it feels like we are living in a sci-fi world of The 100 or even Hunger Games. The ultimate goal is to survive. With the pandemic, injustices and poor leadership combined, we are obviously in trouble. But believe me, everything has an end. Life is not all about acceptance and surviving. Life is more about resistance and living. 

[leanrivera]

HOME FOR A MONTH

I wonder how it feels when we go out.

It’s painful to think of the situation we’re currently in. More than the feelings of loneliness and isolation from the quarantine, I can’t help but think about the future. I know that once we go out, things will be different. We will always have this fear when we go to malls, schools, or offices.

The quarantine only slows down the transmission of this virus, but this is not the prime solution. I understand that it takes time to discover a vaccine or medicine for this rare illness. Helpless as it may sound, the only thing we can do now is to stay at home. 

We are currently in a situation where we feel stuck but are not limited as individuals. We can contribute by donating to our chosen organizations. Kahit bente pesos lang, makakatulong pa din ‘yan. Just take time to verify the credibility of the donation drives. Again, you can donate in just a few clicks.

We are required to stay at home but we’re living on different situations. It won’t hurt to show empathy. Hindi ngayon ang panahon ng politika. Hindi ngayon ang oras para magbangayan. Ngayon ang tamang pagkakataon para ingatan natin ang atin mga sarili para makatulong sa iba.

Every day, I wonder how it feels to go out again. But I hope I’ll be at a place where compassion and empathy exist as I step outside this time.

[leanrivera]

Honestly, I don’t know how to start this blog post. (I think I’ve already used this introduction) 

Maybe, I should tell you what keeps me busy during the ongoing enhanced community quarantine. Maybe, I should share something about my work. Maybe, I need to talk more about my hobbies, my favorite Netflix series or places I want to visit. Maybe, I need to write more about my goals, my feelings or my experiences. 

I should say that having a blog since high school is an amazing experience. I can look back anytime and track my progress. At the same time, it feels strange. I’ve realized that I never been consistent with this passion. The best moments are not documented here, nor the worst times. This blog is just a product of my everyday experiences — a summary of my learnings in life. 

I have to admit that this blog post is random. The initial plan is to just share photos from my Bacolod trip. Anyway, I need to remind everyone especially during this time — that we should be fully present and live our lives the best way we can. I know it’s challenging because we’re in the middle of the crisis. I know that we all feel stuck, not having the productivity that we want, having no progress with the goals we set for this year. Just this very moment, I’ve realized the whole point of this blog post — I like to encourage everyone to be fully present and live our best lives not just for ourselves but for others. 

[leanrivera]

Hello!!! Just dropping my recent gym photos. Accountability post: I’ll gain weight in 3 months. 

I hope you are doing well. Please stay safe and healthy, okay? 

[leanrivera]

22 | ACCEPTING CHANGES, LETTING GO & MOVING FORWARD

It’s been a long time since my last post. Believe it or not, there are entries that I decided to keep on drafts. I also move away from the noise of social media. Well, I’m in a good position where life is terrific, and feelings are stable.

I can’t believe that today is my last day as a 22-year-old. Anyway, it’s that time of the year again when reflections are necessary before I begin a new chapter of my life. Honestly, writing an entry is still challenging because I have to look back on the best and heartbreaking days of my life. Pero kaya ‘to!

I can still remember how I celebrated my birthday last year. It’s just a simple yet memorable day with the best people in my life. When I turned 22, I knew I needed to become more responsible. Mas naramdaman ko yung pagiging adult dahil sa mga responsibilities, expectations ng mga nakapaligid sa’kin at sa pressure na binibigay ko sa sarili ko. It’s fine with me to be more mature because that’s part of growing up. But I have to admit that there are days when it’s hard to accept the changes and reality.

The hardest thing that I have learned at this point is to let go. I don’t usually give up on things and people. But sometimes, it’s the only way so I can move forward. There are dreams that I need to let go to achieve a certain goal. Sadly, there are also people that I need to let go for a better tomorrow. Mas lumalim ang pananaw ko na may mga pangarap at taong kailangan natin pakawalan kahit ayaw natin. Pero kung para sa atin naman talaga, gaano man katagal, babalik at babalik pa din ‘yan. 

My 22nd year is all about acceptance, letting go and moving forward. There are so many smiles, good times, pains and tears. I experienced the happiest and most heartbreaking days of my life. Hindi naging madali lahat pero alam ko na mas matapang ako ngayon. I’m proud of my progress. I’m happy for what I achieved. I’m thankful for everything. Bukod sa mga bagong karanasan, mas nagpapasalamat ako sa mga bagong tao na aking nakilala, mga taong nanatili at mga taong kailangan lumayo.

Here’s to a new chapter. Starting my 23rd with renewed hope and courage. :)

[leanrivera]

LIFE UPDATE: WHAT ARE MY PLANS THIS 2019?

Ni hao! Starting 2019 is breath of fresh air. Although, I know that every day is a clean slate to start all over again. Having a new year transition makes me truly excited. I don’t have any New Year’s Resolution because I can’t keep them. (Well, I can stay committed with my resolution until the last day of January!) This year, I decided to have clear objectives, specific goals, and efficient strategies. I think this is maturity in my part to set realistic things that I want to improve. For me, it’s all about making myself even better without any pressure or timeline.

Basically, I just want to put myself out there. I want to be more open to new experiences. I want to go to my first international destination this year. I want to try challenging activities, attend various events, eat exotic foods. Most probably, having the motivation to hit the gym, attend workshops, study the stock market or go into business. I have so many plans this 2019 and I feel really enthusiastic about the coming weeks.  

I’m really happy with my learnings from last year because I feel relaxed at the start of this year. It’s really good that I don’t have to put pressure on myself. I’ve learned to take one step at a time and appreciate every small progress that I make. I think having a grateful heart makes it easier to move forward in life.

I bought a reasonably priced planner. I'm using a planner since 2009 and I don’t think I can survive a year without it. I’m weird because I don’t use it to schedule my activities. I use it like a journal where I write random creative ideas, life realizations, learnings for the day and the things I’m grateful for. Although there are planner applications, I still prefer writing. I love writing my thoughts on paper.

Last November, I repainted and redecorated my room. It’s part of my strategy to have a totally brand new 2019. Uy ang random na lol

Also, if you visit my blog, you’ll notice that I changed my theme. 2 years ko na din gamit yung theme ko dati. Honestly, it feels weird that I don’t have a sidebar anymore. Anyway, this is a new start for this blog and I hope I’ll get to share my 2019 journey with you. (Akala mo talaga may nagbabasa nito hahaha) 

To end this, I truly appreciate your messages on my previous posts. I hope you’ll have the courage to follow your dreams this year. 

[leanrivera]

18 REALIZATIONS FROM 2018

These are the important things from 2018 that I’ll forever remember. I always tell you that I’m struggling throughout the year. I feel lost despite the nice things happening around me. I feel lonely regardless of the good people. Maybe, it’s about being strong for too long. Not to give you negative vibes but honestly, I feel tired for the whole year. Yup, 2018 is exhausting but not pointless.

I know we have different experiences from the previous year but I hope you’ll learn something from this list. I won’t apologize if the format makes you cringe. I’m so proud of these R E A L I Z A T I O N S ! ! !

1. EVERYTHING IS JUST A PHASE.

2. LIFE IS SHORT. MAN, CARPE DIEM.

3. IT’S 100% OKAY TO DISAPPOINT OTHERS.

4. I AM ALLOWED TO SAY “NO”.

5. IN THIS COOL GENERATION WHERE WE ARE EXPECTED TO LIVE SPONTANEOUSLY, DON’T EVER FORGET TO PLAN YOUR GOALS.

6. FIGURE OUT WHAT MAKES ME GENUINELY HAPPY.

7. SIT WITH MY OWN THOUGHTS.

8. IF I WANT TO BE RICH, I NEED TO START MY BUSINESS PLAN AS EARLY AS NOW.

9. TIRED? THEN, TAKE A SHORT OR LOOOOONG BREAK.

10. I NEED TO START EATING VEGETABLES. lol

11.  NEVER FEEL PRESSURED WITH THE SOCIETY’S SHITTY TIMELINE.

12. LONG TERM FRIENDSHIP / RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T GUARANTEE THAT A PERSON WILL STAY FOREVER.

13. DON’T FORCE PEOPLE TO STAY.  

14. LOSING EVERYTHING TAUGHT ME THAT I AM NOT DEFINED BY PEOPLE AND THINGS.

15. HITTING ROCK BOTTOM IS NECESSARY. AT LEAST, I CAN START ALL OVER AGAIN.

16. ACCEPTING THE THINGS I CAN’T CHANGE.

17. AT THE END OF THE DAY, I GOT MYSELF.

18. I LEARNED TO BE GRATEFUL.

2018 is more on my journey as an individual. Most of the time, I’m contemplating my existence. I’m so fortunate for the break that I had because it gave me time for self-discovery. I really learned a lot for every thrilling and mundane experience I had with myself. 2018 is definitely not my best year but I’ll always remember the lessons it taught me.

[leanrivera]

APOLOGY LETTER TO MYSELF

Why is it so easy for me to forgive others, but I find it hard to forgive myself? Why does it feel so good to praise the progress of others, but I'm always hesitant to appreciate my improvement?

This time, I owe myself an apology letter because this is the right thing to do. I want to end 2018 with a forgiving heart and welcome 2019 with new hope and positivity. 

I am sorry for doubting your abilities. I know you missed many good opportunities this year because you continue questioning yourself. You made excuses not to pursue your passions because of your fear. Self, people believe in you. Again, they believe in you. You can believe in yourself too. Let me tell you the truth; you can do so much more than what you're doing right now.

I am sorry I have compared you to others. There are times when all you can do is appreciate the intelligence, appearance, and lifestyle of others. While doing that, you forget to acknowledge the good in you. You came to the point that you belittle yourself for not being like them. I'm sorry for these times; I mean it. Self, you don't need to achieve what they achieved. You don't need to know everything. You don't need to be everything. You are unique, and you deserve your appreciation.

I know this is a challenging year for you. I am sorry for letting achievements define you. You grew up with their expectations that you need to achieve great things. You forget that you are not the awards, recognition, or positions you earned. I know you've learned from this experience that these impressive titles do not define you. Sometimes, all you need to do is to give your best every single day.

I am sorry for bringing you down instead of lifting you. Instead of being your own best friend, you criticized yourself. Don't consider yourself a disappointment because you're not. You failed, but you're not a failure. You are the learnings of your loss. Keep moving forward to take a second chance. You deserve more opportunities until you achieve your dreams.

I am sorry for the times that you think you're worthless. When life feels meaningless, you also feel that you're weak. You experienced the struggle of waking up and sleepless nights. I don't know why you think that way, but I understand your feelings. Maybe, you still need time to find your purpose. Don't rush things. As long as you're doing the right things, you're more than enough. YOU ARE WORTHY.

I am sorry for not loving you enough. It's okay to be selfless but never forget yourself. It's okay to be generous but save for yourself. From time to time, it's okay not to be okay. But, it will never be okay if you don't love yourself. I'm sorry for this late realization. I promise that I'll never feel guilty if I decide to put you as my top priority. 

Self, accept my sincere apology. I'm sorry for doing the things you don't deserve and not doing the things you deserve. I also want to say thank you. Thank you for not giving up this year. You've been through a lot, and you still managed to be resilient. You learned so much. You handled pain really well. You are stronger than before. You are smarter today. You are ready to face 2019 with a better perspective of your best self!

[leanrivera]

GREETINGS FROM THE ROOFTOP 🎄

Yo, I hope you’re enjoying this day. Christmas is truly a wonderful season no matter how big or small the celebration is. 

Browsing my dashboard, I read a lot of stories about your celebration today. I’m so happy to those who spent their time with their family and friends. Unfortunately, there are people who don’t feel the Christmas vibes that they expected. Okay lang ‘yan. Brighter days are coming, alright? 

I just want to express my sincere appreciation to everyone who follows and reads my blog. For the remaining days of 2018, I’ll be posting blog series about the highlights, lowlights, and learnings of this year. I hope you’ll learn something from me.

Again, Merry Christmas and don’t forget to smile! :) 

[leanrivera]

REUNITED AT SIMBANG GABI

I can still remember my teenage years when I only attended just one Simbang Gabi every year. Well, the shallow reason is that I’m already asleep at exactly 10:00PM. When I am still awake by 11:05 in the evening, it’s because I’m doing something really important or I’m talking to a very special person. I’m not saying that I don’t give importance to Simbang Gabi but I want to stay focus (not sleepy) throughout the duration of the mass.

I think this is the first time that I will blog about my religious life. I don’t want to sound hypocrite but I grew up in a religious environment. At school, we pray the rosary daily, celebrate special occasion through a mass, conducts retreat and recollections, etc. When it comes to our family, we attend Sunday masses, joins processions, etc. If you visit our house, you’ll see big saint statues. I can say that I really have a deep connection with Him during those times.

During college up to now, I can say that it takes an effort to do these things. There are many factors like time, environment and circumstances. I have missed a lot of Sunday masses which I feel guilty about. And honestly, I felt that I am already in a distant relationship with Him because of the many things that are happening around me. I still thank Him every morning and evening but our connection is not as deep when I’m still younger.

But this year, I decided to attend as many Simbang Gabi as I can. Not because I have to but because I feel that there’s a place in my heart that only Him can fill the void. It genuinely feels good that I’m starting to rebuild a deeper connection with Him again. I know in this way, I can find courage and sincerity in whatever things that I want to pursue.

The recent homily that really struck me is about learning to love people without expecting in return. When you love, do it selflessly. Spread love to make other people smile and make their hearts happy. In that simple way, you can make this challenging world the best place it can possibly be.

I want to end this entry by reminding everyone to reconnect to your God. You don’t need to go church if you don’t want to. What you need is a sincere and loving heart. Allot a special time to praise His name and be grateful for all the blessings you’ve received. Ask for forgiveness for your shortcomings. Talk to Him about your plans and He’ll take care of everything.

Have faith in Him, love yourself and be a blessing to people.

[leanrivera]

THIS APP WILL SAVE YOUR TIME (GET YOUR FREE PHP 50)

If there is one underrated application, it's Coins.ph!

At first, I'm really hesitant about having a mobile wallet. But there's nothing wrong with trying. It's for the experience and this is a free mobile application. I started using Coins for my business last June. I must say that it's one of the preferred payment methods of our customers. Anyway, Coins is actually for personal use. It's true that you'll save a lot of time by using this app.

Reasons why you'll love Coins.ph:

BUY LOAD, GET 10% REBATE - Now, you don't have to worry whenever your load expires. You don't have to go out at night just to buy load from the nearest store hehe! You can also send load to your family and friends. The good thing is you'll receive an automatic 10% rebate for every load purchase. (Oh ano, additional raket idea)

LOAD YOUR BEEP CARD ANYTIME - If you're riding the MRT or LRT daily, I highly suggest getting this app. You can load your beep card anytime and anywhere without waiting in line.

SEND OR RECEIVE MONEY - This is the modern Palawan Express or Cebuana. Send money to your family or friends in an instant.

PAY BILLS - If you're a young adult, you'll surely appreciate this feature which is paying bills using mobile. From utilities, telecom, credit card, broadband, cable provider, SSS, and other government stuff, you can pay it here. Amazing, right?

You can buy digital currency like Bitcoin or Ethereum. (licensed by BSP) I apologize for not elaborating about cryptocurrency because I still need to educate myself about this. You can also purchase game credits or book flights using this app.

Personally, I believe in the goal of this application which is to save our time. It's very convenient. They also perform well in terms of customer service.

If you're reading at this point, I know there are still questions that need answers. You can send me a message or visit Coins.ph website. 

But wait, you'll earn your FREE PHP 50 credit by using my code now: drywqm or click the link: https://coins.ph/m/join/drywqm

I hope you'll get to try this cool app. If you already used Coins, feel free to share your thoughts. :)