I have like twenty half-finished fics and I add one (1) sentence to each every time I open my notes app.
So far my WIPs are
(Tw for noncon, gore, somno, age gap, etc.)
- several Moon x Carmine snippets, mostly themed around Carmine getting Moon to open up to affection with gentle care. But, I have been thinking about a scenario where Moon asks Carmine to do some sort of CNC roleplay, where Moon gets held down and fucked, because he is too nervous about reciprocating or calling it off if thereâs too much intimacy leading up to it. Something something, asking Carmine to do it without asking first, that way he doesnât have a chance back out. Maybe theyâre off on a mission when they finally get a moment to breathe, and Carmine just pounces on him. Maybe it happens in one of their therapy appointments, where Moonâs supposed to feel safe. Maybe it happens when Moonâs asleep. So many scenariosâŠ
- Sun x Moonhaven or Moon x Sunctuary, where theyâre sold off by the opposite sibling for either financial gain or revenge. Dahlia, Sebastian, Servant Sun, and Dark Sun x Moon vs Carmine, Rust, Reverse Moon, and whatever the head Moonâs name is x Sun. The moons start out pretending like their touching is just for scientific purposes, studying the connection that allows Sun to sense wither shards, but it quickly turns into groping and wireplay. The Suns are less performative, making it clear that this is a way to get back at their Moons for what they did to them.
- Dahlia x Sun, where Sun experiences Dahlia in season for the first time. Iâve had several conflicting ideas about how theyâd act when in season, either more bug-like with a need to lay eggs or more plant-like with a desire to pollinate. On the more comedic side, Sun having to deal with Dahlia shedding pollen everywhere or being extremely worked up with all the non-compatible pollen around them.
- Solar x Eclipse fic continued. Currently considering a rewritten chapter 3 where Eclipse is kept at Solarâs place instead of being returned home. My main problem with that originally was Moon finding out about what Solar did if Eclipse told him; but I think Moon would believe Solar if he just said Eclipse was lying or delusional, especially since they drilled a hole into his head. Nebula doesnât come back, and Solar blames Eclipse for ruining his relationship, so he feels that Eclipse owes him a replacement. Plus, since Eclipse has already gotten curb stomped in the pussy, getting to see Solar break Eclipseâs psyche via more âgentleâ means would be fun.
- Ruin x Teaps Sun and Moon. Itâs a pretty OOC fic on the twinsâ part, but I love a good predatory age gap romance, and Ruin is a manipulative little bastard. Specifically, I like the idea of Ruin letting Moonlight smoke when theyâre alone, as a way of associating him with the nicotine. Ruin holding Moonlight in his lap, guiding his mouth open and telling him to breathe in, in, in⊠and out. Praising him for listening so well and doing as he says. Eclipse and Puppet are really the only ones who can help, but they care so little about Sun and Moonâs little problems that they never get the chance to talk about it.
- Mars x Eclipse x Solar forcemasc. Solar forcing Mars and Eclipse to fuck, telling Mars that he needs to get tougher if he wants to be a man so bad. Hashtag make eclipse suck Marsâ clit like a dick
Wait wtf those are straight peak?? I have a million thoughts and no time atm but I'll return to put it all into words later
As for now praying that Dahlia x Sun fic would end with Dahlia biting off his head cos it's just normalâą for his species. Cannibalism (sorta) is hot đ„
I tend to write a lot so the post will be updated.
tw in tags
Moon x Carmine is a sweet ship, and I like them gentle and soft. I also like making characters suffer, so here's a potential idea of how everything could go terribly wrong: they do agree on cnc with a safeword to back out if it gets too much, but they don't get a chance to act on it before Killer Sun sends them both to Rigel. They do come back, Moon acts... the way he did, but Carmine isn't as forgiving as he was in canon.
My own headcanon is that, due to having zero control over his own life in the past, Carmine now craves itâa softer version, one that aligns with the image he tries to uphold, but control nonetheless. Therapists have an awful amount of power over their patients, after all, and it's quite curious how eager Carmine is to treat everyone he meets.
His home dimension retraumatizes Carme to the point where he needs to feel like he's in charge asap, and when Moon comes to his next session, it presents an opportunity. He doesn't want to get into an open fight, and if he straight-up ignores the safeword, it could put his reputation at risk. He's also not ready to accept himself as capable of something so awful. So, instead, he dances around the issue in his usual wayâoffering Moon a trance session instead. It's supposed to relax him, to calm himâand it does. What Carmine doesn't mention is that it'll prevent him from resisting in any way.
He's careful with Moon. It doesn't hurt, and when it's over, there's no evidence to prove that it wasn't consensual, even to himself. Maybe Moon cries in the process, and maybe afterwards he feels wrong and disgusting and wrung out, but that's just how intimacy is. Carmine said so and Moon doesn't really have a point of reference. He wanted it, didn't he?
That went in a completely different direction, as it usually does with my ramblings, but the idea of Carmine using Moon's inexperience with emotions to force him into codependency... I could see him genuinely loving him, but he's been betrayed once already, so perhaps he wants to ensure it won't happen again. Or maybe Moon's elusive nature captivates him, and he wants to solve him like a puzzle, getting to know every part of himâeven those (especially those) Moon doesn't want to share. Or maybe the idea of fixing him and presenting him around is appealingâthe "best" Moon mellowing out the one council didn't even want to accept. Or all at once.
Either way that's the fucked up version. I love the original idea as well and I do enjoy sweet stuff, believe it or not, but that's the direction my thoughts took me today đ
My thoughts on Sun x Moon haven for now; still musing over Moon x Sanctuary, because I'm in love with idea but can't come up with anything specific yet đ€
tw in tags
What if it doesn't start with Moon selling him out, but rather mostly follows canon?
Sun agrees to find wither shards and is pretty successful at itâuntil one of the shards affects him in a unique way. Itâs similar to the effect the Dragon had on him: his mind gets foggy, and he stops reacting to his surroundings. Rust is the first to notice since he's the lead scientist. At first, he simply makes a mental note and drops it. But then scientific curiosity winsâSun's ability is unique and deserves thorough studyâso Rust brings it to the Council. They conclude that what Sun and Moon don't know won't hurt them, and as long as Sun remains unharmed, the deal stays on.
The next time they open that specific portal, they place it even closer to the shard and keep it open. No one else is affected, but Sun is reduced to little more than a doll. Or a test subject.
It starts innocently enough. If any of the Moons have a hidden agenda, they don't show itâthey simply run experiment after experiment, testing various hypotheses. It quickly becomes an open "secret" throughout the Haven. Because Moons are curious by nature, Sun is soon being studied and probed by different teams. There's literally a waiting list just to test out new ideas, given how high the demand is.
Sun has no idea whatâs happening, and because injuring him is strictly forbidden, he returns home every time unharmedâjust exhausted and foggy. However, things escalate. One of the scientists notices that prolonged exposure to the wither energy makes him hypersensitive; touches make him whine, and his body temperature spikes. Someone gets the idea to bring him to orgasmâpurely to analyze new data, obviously. Since it won't physically harm him, the Council agrees it doesn't break the terms of the deal.
They do get their dataâalong with the image of Sun sobbing and drooling as he comes all over himself on a metal table, far too dazed to feel ashamed. No one comments on the sound of multiple modesty panels snapping open, and the next few hours are productively spent determining which position allows Sun to take the maximum number of cocks/toys at once. The switch might feel abrupt, but the tension has been building for months, so it feels like a natural progression at this point.
Moon's reaction could go either way, honestly, but I like the idea of them going through another rough patch in their relationship. He's frustrated, feeling like Sun is slipping through his fingers (again), so he just says *fuck it*âand joins in. Maybe Carmine influences his decision tooâjust because I have a thing for him being manipulative and having an unhealthy amount of power over Moon.
Basically Sun becomes a free use toy test subject for the sanctuary, without having the slightest idea đ„°
people will say âtheyâre only friendsâ and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each otherâs coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each otherâs houses as ghosts. be serious.
Just an FYIâthe original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. đ«¶đŒ
The whole emotions arc with Moon just feels likeâŠ
if you watched a movie about a guy who was kicking people, and another character went âwell clearly itâs because he has a spine. Heâs using his spine to kick people. We should take out his spine.â And you think âwhile yes thatâs a part of the process, I donât think thatâs the main issue or the proper way to go about it-â but before you can finish theyâve already ripped out the guyâs spine.
Now everybody is clapping and cheering about how heâs no longer kicking people and how evil spines are itâs just like?? You guys just took out a manâs spine. Thatâs not a good thing?? Spines arenât evil, thatâs not what causes people to start kicking in the first place??
And when you bring it up in the fandom everybody is like âoh my god they donât REALLY mean to say that spines are evil. They can remove his spine if they want to!! Itâs their character!!â And now youâre just so frustrated because thatâs LITERALLY what the story was about!!! They directly said multiple times that the spine is what caused him to kick people!
And then the writers are like âokay we wonât say any of our characters have spines anymore!â And like okay but how do the writers feel about spines?? Do they understand that spines donât cause people to kick things?
And now the spineless guy is like, picking flowers and kissing puppies and talking about how good it feels to not have a spine and itâs really difficult to see how they couldnât have intended for it to read that way but nobody understands because apparently everybody else is ALSO under the impression that spines make you kick people.
Thatâs how it feels with Moon being a sociopath. Like yâall you canât just take away Moonâs spine and say it stopped him from kicking people. That wasnât the cause of the problem in the first place.
When it was happening I had a naive hope that they're leading to some disastrous consequences of his decision, that'd show that he never should have attempted to do that. I was hoping Moon will become unstable, explosive, that his new unlocked emotions would overwhelm him and drive him mad and more violent or something along the lines. Kinda hoped someone would get seriously hurt, and the show will be like "surprise, the magical pill made everything worse", but, of course, everything worked out perfect. Somehow.
Tbh, idk what the whole thing was even about, cos looking back now, nothing changed. Moon is acting like he was before. He didn't become more compassionate, he didn't become more kind, he doesn't sympathize with people more, so... what was the point? To show us that now he's not a monster because he *checks notes* can feel now? Newflashânearly every serial killer/abuser/war criminal could. Emotions are what drives people who rape and kill, and then they're excused as "a crime of passion"âlike fuck off.
I'm obviously a bit late to rant about that, but who cares.
Thoughts on Eclipse x Solar? I made a fic about them on AO3 where Solar stabs Eclipse in the pussy with a wrench and Iâm currently working on a fourth chapter. I am. Struggling. But weâre working through it!
LOVE your writing, by the way. Are you uploading it to AO3? If not, I think you should! They would love it.
I'm in love with that fic, read it just now and holy shit đïžđïž Absolutely amazed at the amount of technical information you put in! I struggle with it a lot, but I want to get deeper into technical part of things cos they're still machines at the end of the day, and it should be utilized more. I didn't upload anything to ao3 yet, and only recently started to interact with fandom at all (and even now it's minimal).
Glad you like my stuff! I was planning to comment on the post with your list, but since you asked I do have thoughts đ€
In my unbiased (ha) opinion Eclipse hasn't been hurt enough, and Solar should allow himself to lean fully into his sadistic nature with someone no one would care about. I've scrolled through your blog and I think you mentioned him keeping Eclipse trapped? He should do that 100%. He could justify it pretty easily with Eclipse being a genuine threat, and what wouldn't you do for your family protection... Even Moon will understand.
He could use that bunker as his new prison cell, which would be pretty ironic, cos it's Eclipse's, or he could find some other place to lock him inâbut either way it should be secured. He doesn't even need to tell anyone about it necessarily, god knows, he wouldn't be the first in that family to do shit behind their backs for "protection". I think it'd be interesting if the thing with Nebula still worked out okayâfor a bitâbefore Solar realized soft vanilla sex isn't really doing it for him. He's not gonna hurt his girlfriend, though, and why would he if he got a perfect victim to try out his more fucked up fantasies with? He could tell himself it's not cheating because he's not in love with Eclipseâit's just... letting off stream, like using a punching bag.
Plus, most of the stuff could be easily fixedâand Solar is the best mechanic around. He could pull him apart and put him back together no problem. Increase the sensitivity and work on him with an soldering iron, or do a suspension bondage with his own wires, forcing him to stay in an uncomfortable position for hours, or install a virus in him and watch him lose basic functions one by oneâthere are sooo many ideas, he simply can't try out with Nebula.
In the end wouldn't it be the perfect outcome with one of their biggest threats contained, his girlfriend happy and his more violent side having an outlet? Maybe he'll be able to relax and be calmer in general, when he wouldn't have to keep his darker urges on a leash all the time.
Also would be interesting to see Eclipse's mental spiral through all of this: how the anger and resistance will melt away into submissive fear. Solar doesn't hurt him less if he's good but once he learns nothing he does or says helps... learned helplessness anyone? đ
Anyway, that's my ideas for now, but I'm always happy to ramble more, so feel free to reach out at any time đ„
Just watched the Lunar and Cosmos argument about Moon and WOW that pissed me off more than I thought it would.
The things that Cosmos says to refute Lunar are LITERALLY what friends/family of abusers will tell the victims when they try and seek help.
âHe wouldnât do that! Youâre misremembering! Youâre lying! It wasnât that bad! What did you do to deserve it? Thatâs just how heâs supposed to act!â
SO many abuse survivors have been told this, including me! Abusers donât just abuse everyone around them, they will often pick one person and abuse them in secret or in a setting where people wonât care about it. Thatâs like, one of the most common fucking things abusers do.
Especially since we know that Moon DOES act like that!!! Heâs threatened multiple times to shut down the shamrocks! He DOES yell for no reason! As the audience, we KNOW he does these things!
If this isnât meant to show that Cosmos is being a horrible person, I genuinely hope that an abuse survivor never has to confide in the writers for anything. Genuinely, can someone tell me what the hell they were thinking? Do they seriously think Cosmos is doing the right thing here?
And donât even try to âitâs just a show itâs not that deepâ me. I understand that characters often DO have negative traits, and the idea that Cosmos might be in denial about the extent of Moonâs abuse, and therefore denies Lunar being abused, would be an interesting idea to explore. In a more subtlety written show, Iâd absolutely give them the benefit of the doubt. But, having watched this show for as long as itâs ran: They do NOT deal with complex character motivations like that. They do not write with subtlety. If a character wants or feels something, they will often outright state it. So either theyâve suddenly changed their entire writing style, or they SOMEHOW thought that âfamily member denies other family memberâs abuse against their employeeâ was a good thing.
This is one of the few times Iâm asking a writer to answer on this. Please explain what you were trying to imply with this episode.
Valid critique! I don't have much hope it'll be addressed by the show, but I wanted to put in my own two cents just for the hell of it.
I myself interpreted it as Cosmos viewing the situation through his own prejudice lenses: aka Moon "changed" and the family stability depends on that fact, so if he trusts Lunar (who he dislikes) now, he'll have to face the reality he does not want to face and have to do something about it. Cosmo was shown through the show to be someone who would rather avoid emotionally charged situation than be involved, even when it was the family members he cared about (Sun after Nexus's death for example). He doesn't care about Lunar and others, so I actually feel it was quite in character for him. Push everything under the rug and pretend everything is ok, so he could have his family movie nights in peace in between life-threatening bullshit.
Could also be that his perspection is just screwed after everything they've been through, and now Lunar's (very valid) complains seem ridiculous in comparison.
*doom music starts to play*
I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...
but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu
Another thing that's been collecting dust in my notes. Moon x Sun this time, specifically old Moon. If something feels confusing it's because it's a part of a bigger story me and my friend "wrote" in dms by basically throwing ideas at each other. It had fun theme of forced feminization and mundbreak, so I do think I'll return to rewrite it fully at some point but for now there's a snippet. Tw in tags, dead dove and all that, Sun is an unreliable narrator.
It's another dream.
Sun knows it to be a dream because he looks at himselfâand at Moon towering over him, furious, the intent to hurt palpable in the mindscape. It's like watching a movie: the figures move in front of him, dramatic tension builds and Sun is frozen on the edge of his metaphorical seat, waiting for the grand finale. He's not naive enough to exect a happy ending.
Heâthe other himâbacks away, cowering, trembling arms raised in a silent plea. What a pathetic character. Sun almost cheers when Moon lunges, his face distorted into a grimace of disgust he wears so often around him.
Cobalt claws slash across pale yellow faceplate, catching one of the eyes before seizing thin shoulders and throwing the shrieking body to the ground with enough force to stun it for a brief moment. Moon was always so much stronger when rage finally boiled overâwhen all his energy was focused on only one objective. Sun's right knee splits apart beneath his foot, and the wail of agony echoes in the mindscape, annoyingly loudâbut gets cut short with a wet crunch of his voicebox getting ripped out. It's a relief.
The oil spilling from the wounds in thick pulses is dark crimson.
He's not just an outsider looking in anymore. Agony tears through his mangled body, ruptured oil lines pulsing hot as they bleed out. The image in his remaining eye glitches and distorts, turning Moon into something nightmarishâ Are there rays around his head? He cannot scream, his voicebox laying useless in a pool of oil, colorful wires looking like a tangle of worms.
Moon's delirious, gleeful laughter rings in his audios. His eyes bathe Sun is a sickening red light, sharp fingers digging into his hips as his brother forces himself inside.
Sun's body takes him easily despite everything, pain blooming into agonizing pleasureâsharp and euphoric. They fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces made for each other, and Sun feels sickeningly whole, clinging to Moon's shoulders as he lacerates him. He'd be moaning if he could.
Thereâpinned beneath his twin, feeling him use him fast and rough, staring at the beloved face distorted in hatredâSun is complete. His oil is smeared across Moon's crescent, red glistening on the curve of his mouth and the urge to kiss him is unbearable. Shame only feeds the terrible fire burning inside him, amplifying the heat until Sun is nothing but a writhing, pathetic mess, begging soundlessly as he's torn apart.
Moon looks like he wants himâto hurt, to kill, to consumeâdoes it matter?
Sun knows he deserves it.
And he wants everything his brother is willing to give him.
The pain crescendos, bringing with it the heights of pleasure he wishes he'd never known. The coil inside him tightens, ready to snap.
He's so, so closeâoh God, please don't stopâ
Blunt teeth sink into Sun's shoulder with enough force to bite through the metal before tearing away a chunk of plating, wires and all.
That does it.
His vision fizzles out completely. His body bends and convulses as he's ripped out of the dream by the force of his orgasm. The intensity of it crashes through his systems as they desperately try to process the sensory overload, and for one brief, blissful momentâSun's mind is silent.
It doesn't last.
His systems inevitably come back online, dragging their unwilling host into dreadful reality. He's sluggish, as he always is upon waking up, his mind struggling to reconnect with his body, keeping him in an uncomfortable state of dissociation. Sun dimly registers the elevated body temperature, dismisses warnings he already knows by heart, and reluctantly reaches for the motor lock âa precaution he'd started taking after the first nightmare in Moon's bed.
That first time he'd woken screaming bloody murder, thrashing hard enough to fall off the bed. It had been pure luck that his brother was out with Monty doing... something. Since then, he'd made sure his body stayed frozen until his mind had a chance to catch up.
The command never executes.
Sun stares at the line of code motor lock = OFF, perplexed. What? But it should beâ
Realization dawns. Panic floods through him, the veil of dissociation torn to shreds, as he becomes painfully aware of everything at once.
His body is not locked.
Moon is pressed against his side.
He's still shaking with the aftershocks of his climax.
Moon's vents are far too loud for him to be asleep.
The sheets beneath his hips are soaked and his modesty panel is open.
His own fingers are buried deep inside him.
Moon is awake.
Everything inside Sun seizes. There's no command needed for his body to go utterly still this time, though he knows it's far too late. He wishes he could pretend it's just a nightmareâit isn't. That it's not happeningâit is.
No.
No.
NOâ
Sun's voicebox crackles with wet static, the whine he's been desperately trying to suppress breaking through. He wants to run and hide. He wants to rip out his own wires. He wants to fall to his knees and beg Moon not to hate himânot to leave him, pleaseâ
He doesn't turn on his optics. He can't. He waits for a blow, for a harsh shove that'll send him toppling off the bed, for a scream of disgust and rage. He knows he deserves it. He ruined everything.
Claws tap on his chest. Fur of the hat tickles his sensitive rays as Moon snuggles closer.
Alecto was angry, and raised her up, and kissed her. The child did not cry out, though blood fell from her lips and tongue, and she was wounded sore. For Alecto knew not how to kiss, except such as it involved the mouth and teeth.
And Alecto said to her, Why are you not appeased? That is how meat loves meat.
I have like twenty half-finished fics and I add one (1) sentence to each every time I open my notes app.
So far my WIPs are
(Tw for noncon, gore, somno, age gap, etc.)
- several Moon x Carmine snippets, mostly themed around Carmine getting Moon to open up to affection with gentle care. But, I have been thinking about a scenario where Moon asks Carmine to do some sort of CNC roleplay, where Moon gets held down and fucked, because he is too nervous about reciprocating or calling it off if thereâs too much intimacy leading up to it. Something something, asking Carmine to do it without asking first, that way he doesnât have a chance back out. Maybe theyâre off on a mission when they finally get a moment to breathe, and Carmine just pounces on him. Maybe it happens in one of their therapy appointments, where Moonâs supposed to feel safe. Maybe it happens when Moonâs asleep. So many scenariosâŠ
- Sun x Moonhaven or Moon x Sunctuary, where theyâre sold off by the opposite sibling for either financial gain or revenge. Dahlia, Sebastian, Servant Sun, and Dark Sun x Moon vs Carmine, Rust, Reverse Moon, and whatever the head Moonâs name is x Sun. The moons start out pretending like their touching is just for scientific purposes, studying the connection that allows Sun to sense wither shards, but it quickly turns into groping and wireplay. The Suns are less performative, making it clear that this is a way to get back at their Moons for what they did to them.
- Dahlia x Sun, where Sun experiences Dahlia in season for the first time. Iâve had several conflicting ideas about how theyâd act when in season, either more bug-like with a need to lay eggs or more plant-like with a desire to pollinate. On the more comedic side, Sun having to deal with Dahlia shedding pollen everywhere or being extremely worked up with all the non-compatible pollen around them.
- Solar x Eclipse fic continued. Currently considering a rewritten chapter 3 where Eclipse is kept at Solarâs place instead of being returned home. My main problem with that originally was Moon finding out about what Solar did if Eclipse told him; but I think Moon would believe Solar if he just said Eclipse was lying or delusional, especially since they drilled a hole into his head. Nebula doesnât come back, and Solar blames Eclipse for ruining his relationship, so he feels that Eclipse owes him a replacement. Plus, since Eclipse has already gotten curb stomped in the pussy, getting to see Solar break Eclipseâs psyche via more âgentleâ means would be fun.
- Ruin x Teaps Sun and Moon. Itâs a pretty OOC fic on the twinsâ part, but I love a good predatory age gap romance, and Ruin is a manipulative little bastard. Specifically, I like the idea of Ruin letting Moonlight smoke when theyâre alone, as a way of associating him with the nicotine. Ruin holding Moonlight in his lap, guiding his mouth open and telling him to breathe in, in, in⊠and out. Praising him for listening so well and doing as he says. Eclipse and Puppet are really the only ones who can help, but they care so little about Sun and Moonâs little problems that they never get the chance to talk about it.
- Mars x Eclipse x Solar forcemasc. Solar forcing Mars and Eclipse to fuck, telling Mars that he needs to get tougher if he wants to be a man so bad. Hashtag make eclipse suck Marsâ clit like a dick
Wait wtf those are straight peak?? I have a million thoughts and no time atm but I'll return to put it all into words later
As for now praying that Dahlia x Sun fic would end with Dahlia biting off his head cos it's just normalâą for his species. Cannibalism (sorta) is hot đ„
I tend to write a lot so the post will be updated.
tw in tags
Moon x Carmine is a sweet ship, and I like them gentle and soft. I also like making characters suffer, so here's a potential idea of how everything could go terribly wrong: they do agree on cnc with a safeword to back out if it gets too much, but they don't get a chance to act on it before Killer Sun sends them both to Rigel. They do come back, Moon acts... the way he did, but Carmine isn't as forgiving as he was in canon.
My own headcanon is that, due to having zero control over his own life in the past, Carmine now craves itâa softer version, one that aligns with the image he tries to uphold, but control nonetheless. Therapists have an awful amount of power over their patients, after all, and it's quite curious how eager Carmine is to treat everyone he meets.
His home dimension retraumatizes Carme to the point where he needs to feel like he's in charge asap, and when Moon comes to his next session, it presents an opportunity. He doesn't want to get into an open fight, and if he straight-up ignores the safeword, it could put his reputation at risk. He's also not ready to accept himself as capable of something so awful. So, instead, he dances around the issue in his usual wayâoffering Moon a trance session instead. It's supposed to relax him, to calm himâand it does. What Carmine doesn't mention is that it'll prevent him from resisting in any way.
He's careful with Moon. It doesn't hurt, and when it's over, there's no evidence to prove that it wasn't consensual, even to himself. Maybe Moon cries in the process, and maybe afterwards he feels wrong and disgusting and wrung out, but that's just how intimacy is. Carmine said so and Moon doesn't really have a point of reference. He wanted it, didn't he?
That went in a completely different direction, as it usually does with my ramblings, but the idea of Carmine using Moon's inexperience with emotions to force him into codependency... I could see him genuinely loving him, but he's been betrayed once already, so perhaps he wants to ensure it won't happen again. Or maybe Moon's elusive nature captivates him, and he wants to solve him like a puzzle, getting to know every part of himâeven those (especially those) Moon doesn't want to share. Or maybe the idea of fixing him and presenting him around is appealingâthe "best" Moon mellowing out the one council didn't even want to accept. Or all at once.
Either way that's the fucked up version. I love the original idea as well and I do enjoy sweet stuff, believe it or not, but that's the direction my thoughts took me today đ
Small thing I wrote back when the whole Nexus situation was happening. Their relationship with Sun are driving me mad, even tho I hate his arc with a passion (villain my assâhe didn't even get to kill anyone!)
The themes of addiction and cosmic horror are also there, cos I enjoy writing it. English is not my first language, nor do I care, all mistakes are my own.
It starts as it often doesâwith a sort of anxious buzzing in his wires, his hands growing unsteady and fidgety enough to make complex work unnecessarily difficult. He tries to focus, to reach that deep state of concentration that came so easily before where he could lose hours just working on a project, but his thoughts keep slipping away, spiraling round and round until there's only one person at the center of it all.
Oh, how Nexus hates it.
It feels like losing, like giving up, but he can't stop himselfâ
No, no, he doesn't want to stop himself. He could easily. He's not weak. He could stop whenever he wants to. He just doesn't feel like it.
Laughter echoes through the lab, the walls reflecting the sound, corrupting it until he can't tell where it's coming from, but it doesn't matterâhe knows it's all in his head anyway. He half-heartedly mutters, "shut up" not really expecting it to listen and, of course, it instantly grows clearer, more real, as if embodied by his attention.
Not-Solar speaks with a gleeful cruelty that has been only directed at Nexus since his death.
"You're not too good at all this being evil thing, huh?" Nexus knows his mouth forms a nasty smile that doesn't belong on his face. "Carving my own path my ass. Can't even take what you want. No wonder you got replaced so easily."
Nexus's claws dig into his workstation, leaving deep grooves in the metal. Dark Sun will see them later. He won't say anything, but Nexus can already feel his eyes on him, judging, calculating, digging into his weakness.
"I said. Shut. Up. You're not him."
Solar's laugh deepens, starting to sound too much like Eclipse.
"Yeah, I'm not," It agrees easily. "But it doesn't matter, because you want me there. You need me, because who else will be honest with you?"
It's voice turns venomous, hissing through clenched teeth. "If I knew you'd be so pathetic after my death, I'd have ditched your ass sooner. All this power for what? To watch Sunny crawl back into his piece-of-shit brother's lap, after everything you did for him?"
The mockeryâthe truth of itâtwists something inside Nexus's chest so violently he swears something breaks. He spins around, his claws ready, power held poised like a dagger, but there's nothing. Of course, there's fucking nothing.
He turns back, frantic now, his head pounding and unsteady energy buzzing through him. He shouldn't listen. It's lying, it's always lying to him, that's not fucking true. Sun doesn't. He wouldn't â
Nexus needs to know. Just to be sure. One quick peek, that's all. Decisionâhis decisionâcomes with the rush of relief.
He connects to the camerasâall of them at once. The screen in his lab splits into multiple squares, showing different areas, different angles: the kitchen, Dazzle's room, the cat's room, Sun'sâthere you are.
He breathes a sigh of relief, anxiety snuffed out like a flame, when he spots that familiar soft yellowâno disgusting blue here to taint it.
Sun is alone in his room. He's crying. Fuck.
Nexus doesn't even attempt to stop his modesty panel from snapping open, his legs going weak as he leans closer to the screen, taking in the way his brother curls into himself, clutching something that looks suspiciously like Nexus's pajamas. The wave of soft affection that washes over him is almost as strong as the arousal.
Arms circle him from behind, sudden but not surprisingânot anymore. Nexus knows how this goes by now. He doesn't fight it.
One arm wraps around his neck, holding him tight, the other digs into his thigh, rubbing up and down, nearly but not quite touching his writhing cock. He can feel the rough fabric of work gloves (he shouldn't be able to â), powerful hands holding him, keeping him together. Solar will not let him fall apart. A body presses against his back, every part icily cold but solid. Steady. Breath ghosts over his shoulder, the voice warm now, telling him he got what he wanted. What they wanted.
"Was it so hard? I know you needed this."
Teeth graze his shoulder, sharp points tangible even through the clothes, and Nexus shudders, leaning over the table as he's pressed closer to the screen.
"S-shut up." It lacks conviction now, with the way he pants, but he can't stay silent. A childish need to prove he was right forces the words out of his voicebox. "S-see? He's... he's not withâ"
A particularly loud sob from Sun silences any cohesive thoughts he had left, and he cannot wait anymore. His hand flies down to frantically tug on his suspenders, pulling his pants down just enough to free his aching length, squeezing it with a moan. He gasps for air like he needs it, his vents roaringâor maybe it's his processor overheating.
It doesn't matter, because all he can hear, all he can see, is Sun â Sun â Sun.
Curled on his bed now. Alone, miserable, crying. Crying for his brother, his real brother.
He strokes himself in time with each whimper that tears itself out of Sun's voicebox. Thank fuck he installed high-quality bugs in Sun's bedroom. The sounds are so clear it's almost like he's standing right over him. He wished he was.
"You could be," Solar whispers, his voice coated in dark desire, mirroring the one that swells inside Nexus. They always were in tune. "You could go there right now. Comfort him~ Look how much he needs you."
Cold fingers settle over his, helping him, steadying the rhythm, steadying him. Nexus's optics never leave Sun's figure on the screen, but he can see the dark orange of Solar's faceplate in his peripheral vision, can feel him pressed against his back, supporting him like he always had.
Sun pulls on his rays, his distress palpable and beautiful even through the lens of the cameras, each angle displaying his misery in all its radiance. His eyes are dim and cloudy, his lovely faceplate dark with streaks of oil that Nexus desperately wants to lick clean. Oh, he could comfort him, alright.
He struggles not to cum, the need burning through him, painful in its intensity, as he imagines going there right now. He could open a portal there. Isolate the sounds in the room so no one could interrupt. And thenâ
"You will pin him to the bed. He's too weak to fight you off, and he won't even try once he realizes it's you. He'll spread his legs and beg you to take him, to make the pain stop, to forgive him for betraying you." Solar purrs, his voice filled with icy fire, hisâNexus'sâhand speeding up against his cock, squeezing too tight, almost painfully.
"He'll know he deserves to be taken however roughly you please, but you won't hurt him, will you? No. You'll make him feel good, so good, he forgets Moon, Dazzle, anyone. He'll only know you. He'll only need you."
"Ahh, fu-fuck... Sunny..."
His brother is crying. Nexus is crying too, oil dripping from his eyes and his mouth tinted with streaks of vibrant purple, but that doesn't register. It doesn't matter. Dark powerâhis powerâswells within him like a tumor, growing too large for his body.
He's invisible.
He's gonna break.
He needs to touch Sun. He needs to sink his teeth into his metal, to infect him with the same sickness that has plagued him ever since he opened his eyes for the first time.
That smile, that fear, everything that is Sunâhis brother, his other half. His.
"Yours," Solar agrees, guiding his hand, faster â harder. "Ours. You'll take him and you'll bind him and you'll make him part of us."
The voice isn't Solar's anymore. The shape in the corner of his eye shifts and melts into something horrific, with eyes and tentacles and mouths that bleed purple. The grip on his cock turns punishingly tight. The energy, like a lightning strike, shoots through his spine and lower bodyâhe screams as he cums, his legs giving out from the force of it. His face slams into the desk as wave after wave of pleasure rips through him.
It goes on and on, far longer than it should, Sun's fading cries in the background the only thing he can hear between the wheezing of his vents.
It takes some time for him to come to his senses. He's alone in the lab, kneeling in a concerningly large puddle of his own cum and what looks like oil, neon-purple swirls resembling distant galaxies in a sea of black. He should probably be worried, but all he feels is numbness.
The desk creaks as he uses it to pull himself upright, his legs still shaky, his calibration all wonky, but it doesn't matter. He'll deal with it later.
Sun's cries have quieted into tiny whimpers, his shoulders still shaking with aftershocks, but his vents going steady and deep.
Ah... he's fallen asleep.
Nexus's mouth slips into an easy, soft smile. His hand, still trembling, presses against the screen as if trying to reach his brother through it. The greasy, glistening stain of cum and oil it leaves contrasts beautifully with the soft yellow of Sun's sleeping form. He looks so tiny in that bedâin that roomâin that house. Like a lonely star drifting through the empty void of space.
"Soon," Nexus whispers, his voicebox cracking with pained static â did he damage it somehow? "Soon, brother. I just need a bit more time... and we'll be together."
Need you guys to stay with me here; think with me here. Whore by In This Moment as a Cosmos/Eclipse song.
Eclipse coming crawling back to Cosmos, still obsessed with his little brother after all this time after all the abuse and the lies about not caring about him anymore. And Cosmos, bitter, angry Cosmos, who hates Eclipse, hates how Eclipse treated him, being so femdom to Eclipse.
A sneer on his little face, his stilettos on Eclipse's neck. Telling Eclipse how much he hates him, how shitty Eclipse is for all the mistreatment. How pathetic Eclipse is that he still thinks about somebody he abandoned, somebody he considered lesser. "I am the dirt you created." Legit so Cosmos to say. Cosmos hates himself but he hates the man who made him like this even more.
"You love me for everything you hate me for." I mean do I even have to explain? Cosmos is meant to be subservient, to obey, and Eclipse found that pathetic while also loving every second of it. And now that Cosmos is defiant, independent, Eclipse hates that Cosmos doesn't need him but loves this fiery and strong bitch. Cosmos's stupidity is annoying but it also makes Eclipse feel superior.
Eclipse did basically expect Cosmos to always be a little bug, to be a useful idiot to whoever would take him. He made Cosmos like that. He set Cosmos up for perpetual failure. And Cosmos fought that fate, became his own man. It took a lot of mistakes, and his journey isn't complete, but he's come so far.
Just. Eclipse so infatuated. On his knees, worshipping Cosmos like a god, the opposite of what their roles were supposed to be. Cosmos was made to worship Eclipse, and he did for a while, but now the heel is on the other foot.
I just... They never forgot about each other. They never got over each other. They both still secretly obsess over the other. If either one to ever reach out, they'd be having some fucked up sex, I'm telling you.
Cosmos should dominate that mess of a man, though I don't see Eclipse going completely submissive that easily. Not only is he paranoid and slow to trust anyoneâlet alone Cosmosâbut he also hates himself too much to fully enjoy what he views as a sort of primordial sin. In my head, every version of Eclipse was obsessed with Lunar, but only his fourth incarnation is self-aware enough to recognize how wrong it is. He "changed," built a life for himself, and now has friends and familyâhe absolutely cannot afford to fall into the same pit his predecessors did.
I feel like he'd be disgusted with his own sexuality to the point of removing those parts altogether, considering every fantasy and jerk off session involves his brother (it doesn't help lmao). Cosmos isn't doing any better, especially after the astrals arc ended and left him with nothing but a doomed long-distance relationship. Heâs been searching for purpose ever since he betrayed Eclipse, and he never found it, and you can't convince me it isn't eating away at him.
I don't know who crawls to whom, but in the end, I want Cosmos to chain Eclipse down, muzzle and collar him, and unleash all the anger and frustration thatâs been building inside him for so long. And I want Eclipse snarling like a wild animal, spitting curses, and feeling like every bit of the monster he feared he was while being forced into obedience and enjoying it.
I fucking adore In This Moment, and "Sick Like Me" also fits their dynamic so well:
"Is it sick of me
To want you crawling on your knees?
Is it sick to say
I want you biting down on me?"
Hello?? Those are actual Cosmos lyrics right there, and it's not even all of them, the whole song is incredible.
He wants his brother broken and beaten for everything he did, but he's also unhealthily drawn to Eclipse's violent, cruel side, even if he refuses to admit it. Maybe Eclipse even gets to sink his claws into Cosmos's hips and draw oil (blood?) while fucking him with a strap, drooling behind the muzzle like a wild animal. There's a killcode still present in the depths of his code, and it'll do good to let it out for once.
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