*wheeze*
"Aw fuck" Is more or less what was my reaction to realizing I had the first genuine crush in my life (Demiromantic Disaster ahoi!)
Incredibly understandable. As an aromantic i think getting a crush would be the most disorienting possible thing that could happen to me. Feeling shrimp emotions.
Oh it’s so interesting you’re aro and are making Bill experience romantic attraction, because I’m grayro (one demiromantic style crush in my whole life) and I read that snippet from TBoB as the aro experience of insisting you don’t get crushes and no-one believing you. Like, supremely aromantic
A lot of people interpreted it that way! And sure, taken in isolation, that page is relatable, if somebody insisted i MUST have a crush on someone and tried to press me on who I'd probably threaten to set something on fire too.
But, the page doesn't exist in isolation.
Elsewhere in the book he twice mentions that he dated a howling void and then immediately denies that they were dating, and hidden in a barcode on the same page he insists he doesn't have crushes he confesses that he misses the void.
He says "at least one of my exes" lives in the mirror dimension, says Bloody Mary blocked his number, ponders how to get her new number, and then hastily insists he doesn't care.
When he writes a section on "My Exes," he blacks out two lines of text, and then claims he doesn't have any (in direct contradiction to the mirror page) before bitterly talking about how love inevitably turns into hate. Which sounds like the kind of comment made by somebody who has experienced love turning to hate.
(And even if you leave out his mess with Ford completely, since plenty of people have rightly pointed out that could be platonic obsession/heartbreak. But the void and Mary have the word "exes" and "dating" attached to them, they're unambiguous.)
So he's had at least two romantic* relationships; his behavior indicates that he misses those relationships; he immediately denies that he cared about those relationships; and he further denies he has any exes at all.
(*caveat that you COULD go "maybe they weren't romantic, maybe he and his exes had more of a friends-with-benefits arrangement," but that strikes me as splitting hairs to justify an aro headcanon, not an Occam's razor interpretation of the text itself.)
So, taking all that and combining it with the page where he threatens to start a fire if he's pressed about his crushes? In my professional opinion as a lifelong aro: he's not an aro being harassed by someone who thinks he's just being cagey about his crushes; he's a lonely creep who sucks at romance loudly declaring that romance sucks, and he actually is being cagey about his crushes.
If y'all want a character who actually sounds aro, Ford's right there. Bill reads more like an incel who's too proud to admit he's gotten his heart broken.
Also—hi I'm back again because I forgot one of my biggest points—on the page used to argue for Bill's aro-ness, Bill never said he's never been in love or that he doesn't have any crushes.
"BILL, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?" "Sure—tell your mom hi for me! By the way, have you taken a DNA test recently? Not asking for any particular reason." - He tells a your mom joke. He doesn't answer the question.
"SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, HAVE YOU?" "ASKING ME IF I'VE BEEN IN LOVE IS LIKE ASKING A BLACK HOLE IF IT LIKED YOUR MIXTAPE OR ASKING A SUBTERRANEAN FUNGAL SPORE NETWORK WHO ITS FAVORITE ANIMATED PRINCESS IS." - Bill went on a coffee date with a howling void, his gang includes a sentient lava lamp and a walking set of dentures, you expect me to believe he doesn't know black holes that like mixtapes or fungal spore networks with opinions on animated princesses? Considering the character we're talking about, those examples don't mean "it's impossible," they're just deflection.
"I'M A MULTIDIMENSIONAL SPECTER OF CHAOS THAT TRANSCENDS REALITY, I couldn't possibly CARE LESS about WHICH BAG OF PLASMA BLUSHES AT WHO OR WHY!" - Bill has just declared he's disinterested in mortals' love affairs with each other. He hasn't declared that he himself has never felt love. He wants us to think that's what he's saying. But no, he said a whole different sentence entirely.
"OKAY, BUT LIKE...YOU GOTTA BE CRUSHING ON SOMEONE." "I WILL LIGHT THIS BOOK ON FIRE." - This is the exchange people point to as aro evidence, because yeah, this IS a very relatable aro experience, it's INCREDIBLY annoying to get pressed by doubting allos on whether or not you have any crushes... AFTER you've said you don't.
Do you know what I say when people ask me if I've been in love or if I have any crushes? "No." That's the first thing I say. Usually followed up by "never," "not interested" and "I just ain't wired for it, never have been." "No" is the immediate answer, the answer that should be complete in and of itself, and when "no" is ignored it's time to escalate to hyperbolic metaphors about how absurd the question is and threats to set things on fire.
But "no" is an answer that Bill never gives. Bill clearly wants to lead us to believe he's never felt love, and yet this expert liar can't bring himself to actually claim he hasn't felt love or had a crush.
The aro experience is annoyance because your clear answer has been ignored. Bill is annoyed because he's doing his best to avoid giving a clear answer and the interviewer keeps trying to get one.
This guy isn't in my club, he just wishes he was.
