[icarusrex]

Perennial fantasy of: two people who are wildly attracted to each other sharing the same bed while one of them is sick, recognizing that at least one of them really needs the rest, but incapable of concealing how badly they both want to disrupt it.

[achhiu]

good morning, i’m making myself dizzy first thing in the morning thinking about waking up next to a partner whose hayfever is active from the moment they wake up

waking up slowly to the sound of them muffling sneezes into the blankets. they’ve rolled away from you, stifling as quietly as possible and trying not to move too much so as not to wake you with their persistent fit even though you’ve assured them that this is your favorite thing to wake up to.

once you’re up, you reach for them to pull them closer, and as soon as they know you’re awake, they turn towards you, sniffling and whining, relieved that they don’t have to hold back these tickly sneezes anymore. they bury their twitching nose into your neck, clinging to you, asking if it’s okay if they sneeze on you, to which you say “of course, love.”

cuddled up all soft in bed with your red-nosed, sneezy partner hitching against your skin, shuddering in the safety of your arms as you stroke a soothing hand down their back. the first dozen words you whisper into their hair every morning is a series of adoring “bless you”s.

[leeaaaaaaaa]

Ummmm… Nose vases and mugs now available at West Elm…if you are so inclined.

[coldexposure]

Tonight I’m thinking about incorrigible men. 

I’m thinking about an arrogant bastard who insists with a cocksure grin that he can handle the pollen count, when he’s already sniffling after a minute outside.

I’m thinking about a rakeish Lothario who shamelessly propositions you as if he’s a dominating force of nature and not a sad, pitiful little man with a streaming headcold. Like he’s going to fuck you right and not just lie limp against the pillows as you pleasure him.

I’m thinking about smug, duplicitous men who know exactly what they’re doing to you when their breath stutters like that, when they squeeze their eyes shut and rear back, when they stutter through their sentences while hitching fruitlessly, and play it up just to fuck with you.

[sky-snz]

the after (m, illness)

-

The warm dim lighting of the bedroom is delicious, a soothing break away from white fluorescents. He’s emptying his pockets, shedding his jacket, throwing a handful of crumpled sodden Kleenex into the trash. She’s up before he can take three shaky steps into the room. 

Pain sparks like pop rocks as he makes a murky attempt at clearing his throat. He turns his chin, eyes aching, vision blurring as he exhales some assuring words. He feels her hand on his shoulder, then her cool fingers against his temple. She says something, and he opens his mouth to disagree. Before he can, he’s consumed with the urge to sneeze again. And again. 

A dizziness hits him, and the room starts to move on an axis. Turning, before a hand steadies him by the shoulder.

Next door, there’s faint bass. While she gets him to sit, his attention shifts to focus on the fuzzy sound, similar but separate from the pounding in his feverish head. It’s too fast to keep up with. 

Blinking from a fog, he sees she’s placed a clean, comfy shirt next to him on the bed. She’s still there, by the closet, rooting around. Going on about having put away the winter things just for the temperature to drop again. He recalls the gaping holes he’d avoided on the road - too many to count. She comes back over and sets down a pair of flannel pyjama pants next to the shirt. Pausing to watch as he stares at the clothes, zoning out. He feels her hand on the back of his head and her lips press to his forehead. The next words she murmurs to him, he doesn’t contest. 

[sky-snz]

A getting what feels like a slow kiss on the neck from behind, then feeling the ridge of B’s nose, the clutch of unsteady hands, and a body-jarring stifle 

[snezus-christ-risen]

I love when someone blesses like it’s their love language. 🥰

[n0seferatu]

kissing when one person is fighting the urge to sneeze is so simple yet so scorchingly hot

[softsnzstuff]

Give me a man who’s usually strong - mentally, physically, both?? idgaf - and then wreck him with a brutal cold or flu and let me take care of him

That’s all. That’s the post

[fetishccinealfredo]

his nose has been tickling near-constantly, he's so sensitive. he lightly whimpers and rubs his nose with the back of his wrist. oooh, what a lovely shade of red that is.

his breath hitches; once, twice, and a softer third time before sneezing and lightly misting his thighs.

he rubs his nose again to try and satiate the itch, only causing the opposite and sneezes another two or three times.

despite those sneezes, his nose still tickles. how could this be? did he not just sneeze more than once??

before he knows it, he's hitching again and spraying himself with a few more sneezes.

his nose was driving him crazy, just non-stop, tickling, teasing torture. it toyed with him like it were a lover. and he secretly loved it.

[silentsneezes]

someone sitting under a blanket on their front porch, hot apple cider in hand as they watch their partner rake up the leaves and gradually become sneezier and sneezier

[snezus-christ-risen]

Really love the idea of a cold moving through a couple that just can’t keep their hands off each other.

[sneezarify]

I just need someone whose sinuses never play nice. The sorta person who always has tissue in hand because they’re always stuffy. They snort & sniffle through the day... If they’re not sniffling they’re blowing, if they’re not blowing they’re rubbing their nose! A poor sneezy soul, where every day, multiple times a day something will set them off sneezing.

Cold? They can’t help it, something about the cold dry air drives their nose crazy. Hot? that pollen will turn their nose all red and itchy until they’re a sneezy mess! Inside? It’s too dusty! Outside? it’s too windy, and oh no, Is someone wearing perfume?!

[sky-snz]

say it’s allergy season, and say there’s yard work to be done. and say there’s a nice man outside doing it while you’re reading or fixing something or heating onions to cook something since there’s nothing prepared to eat. and say he comes in and he’s all dust and sweat, and you’re clean and maybe smelling of cooking oil or some sugary fruit punch with strawberries. and say you’re like “c’mere”, and he comes, and he tells you about a weed jungle in a backyard a couple doors over or a strange hole by the air con unit, and say all you can hear is how he’s sniffling, “a-hem”ing and you have one of his hands. and say he gives up and sits quietly as you run your thumbs firmly down the middle of his calloused palm. say he turns his face away and his shoulders cave down as he sneezes, and before fully coming up, he sneezes again, with the force of a crashing wave. say his head slowly rises and he sniffles again, hard, and he chooses to swallow rather than move, so you do instead. say you pass him a conveniently-placed tea towel on the back of a chair by the door, and tell him to blow his nose. say he asks what’s cooking, before he blows his damned nose and you wait for a break in the tidal liquid sound before saying it’s the usual. and say you get up, while he watches with bleary eyes, as you walk into the kitchen. while he says something, complacent or kind, you find a rattling canister in the cupboard and an empty glass. and say you look back to see the folded tea towel in his hands, hiding half of his weary face. and say, perhaps, the onions are burning, but it’s fine, you’ll pretend they’re just caramelized.

[peach-snzfkr]

When they really need to sneeze but at the very moment they open their mouth, you lean in for a kiss. They let out a helpless moan as you lick, and bite, and tug on their lips, ignoring their choked gasps for air in-between your kisses. You wonder if they will fight back or try to turn away from you, but they seem too dazed to react. When you finally let go, they look at you, flustered, but their eyes quickly turn glassy and their eyebrows dart upward. The itch in their nose is so overwhelming that you can see it squirm and wriggle on their face, from the scrunched up bridge of their nose to their pink, quivering nostrils. They take a staggered breath before they snap forward, hard and fast, unable to hold back any longer. They sneeze so desperately, with such force, that you wonder if your kiss took away the last ounce of energy they had to contain themselves.

[peter-steeles-wife]

best position for a man to sneeze in whilst using his hands is, without a doubt, tucking his nose into the purlicue.

that little webbed portion of your hands between your thumb and pointer finger.

being able to muffle the sneeze against the top of his hand, or spray it.

trying to be discreet and stifle it by clamping the palm of his hand over his mouth.

yes, god, yes.

[freefallen-snx]

going absolutely feral lately at hearing a sigh after a sneeze, especially if it's all merged into one fluid motion, like "hh'TSCH'iew!.. hhh..." . bonus points if it's a particularly enthusiastic or unexpected sneeze. i just love how it can mean so many different things:

- relief

- annoyance

- a preparatory build up to more sneezes coming

- embarrassment

what makes me particularly weak at the knees is when a sigh after a sneeze is mixed with soft laughter, usually from the sneezer being shy and/or kinda awkward about their sneeze(s).

for those who always sigh after sneezing, how does it feel to be part of the hottest people on earth 🫠