shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics
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shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics
dream a little dream of me
shane going through the horrors
shane hollander would hate being a gay icon actually
mmmmm yeah. just another element of tokenization to stack on top. now he's gotta be Palatable Gay. now he's gotta be Corporate Gay. now he's gotta be sexless, above all blame & reproach. pulling double model minority duty. he's gotta work even harder to ignore it every time he gets a "pretty boy" or a "twinkle toes" on the ice or in the locker room because it's said in a different tone of voice, now. they really mean it, now, in an ugly way that makes him feel kind of sick if he thinks about it too hard. overnight he becomes hockey's token twink and he's gotta live every day knowing that the whole hockey internet sphere thinks (knows) he's a bottom. that everybody thinks (knows) he's less of a man. in some ways he's not even really a man at all anymore in the eyes of the public. special edition Pride Tape, by Shane Hollander. every june billboards up everywhere with some bullshit tagline like I'm true to myself, in #mycalvins. featuring Shane Hollander. is reebok an ally? is rolex his friend? does anything he's doing matter at all to queer youth? or are they just saying that to try and make him feel better? is he making a difference? should he actually be trying to make a difference? was it worth it? will it ever get easier? is it ever going to be worth it? is it too late to take it back? is it too late to hide again, to be perfect again, to give perfect polite press-ready answers in perfect polite fucking french and keep this for himself, just this one fucking thing, all to himself? because every day it skins him raw. every day he exhausts himself by worrying about optics. Gatorade's Pride Month campaign featuring Shane Hollander and the ad is just another faceless man pouring Gatorade into Shane's mouth because that's what he does now. it's all tongue-in-cheek now. i'm gay, remember? don't forget. every four weeks a mic'ed up scandal where another player calls him a slur and it goes mega viral and shane has to keep his head down and say "yeah i didn't really think about it much at the time it's all good" and pretend it doesn't kill him to know just how personal and how deep their hatred is. but he can't get mad. he can't throw gloves. he can't get violent. he can't get revenge. because he's a good boy, he's shane fucking hollander and he never fights. he just shows up and plays his hockey and smiles for the cameras and nothing ever gets to him and nothing ever throws him off his game. a million jokes about stick handling. a million jokes about stooping at center ice for face off. a million jokes about spitting and stretching and simply just sitting there on the bench doing nothing at all. it's never forgotten. it's never switched off. and he never asked for any of this at all. all he did was fall in love. and now it's a job. now it's a duty. now it's a marketing shtick. now it's a mantle around his shoulders and a millstone around his neck and it exhausts him. it's always been exhausting to just be himself but now it's even worse. and he never wanted to make a difference anyway, he just wanted to play hockey. homoerotic Speedo commercials playing on big screens at malls. starring Shane Hollander. and every night he goes home to his husband and he hates himself for feeling like maybe it wasn't worth it. if he could've kept this thing for himself, maybe he would've. but he knows it would've killed him, would've made him miserable for the rest of his life, to hide and to lie. and he knows this was always one game he was never going to win. NHL's pride night exclusive rink-side interview. starring Shane Hollander. what's it like being out? what's it like being an openly gay player? it's awesome. it's great. he doesn't really think about it too much. he's just here to play hockey.
3x01 vs 9x15
Jacob Tierney talks about “boring” and “fuck you” meaning “I love you” for Shane and Ilya:
“A really good friend of mine—a person who reads my scripts who's a brilliant novelist named Rainbow Rowell—she read the first episode and she said to me… “just remember that every ‘fuck you’ is ‘I love you,’ and maybe you're saying ‘fuck you’ too many times”
“And I was like oh, that's such a good call. That's a great call. Because it was just a reminder of all of the things they say to each other that are not ‘I love you’ and that are not—”
“Boring, you know, when Ilya calls Shane boring, he's saying he's in love with him. And he's not boring, [Ilya] is endlessly fascinated by Shane. And the only way he can communicate that is by making fun of him and calling him boring, because anything else would rip his soul out through his face.”
“Like that's the idea, and so even the words we use to obfuscate matter, you know?”
(via live Q&A with Stage 32 on March 24, 2026)
Shane while his hole is still on fire from how hard Ilya fucked him into the mattress: So are you heading back soon? To Russia? For the summer? Why? Do you have to? Is it safe? Do you even like it there?
Shane with Ilya's cum smeared all over his stomach: Is everything okay at home? Your father?
Shane while Ilya's cum is still inside him after they fucked raw for the first time: What was your mother's name?
CHALLENGERS (2024) Dir. Luca Guadagnino
THE AMERICANS 1.04: "In Control"
like shane is horny out of his mind getting off on their secret and ilya is looking for skin to skin contact from wire mother over here
honestly shane getting a blowjob and fingers in his mouth while hayden is confiding in him about his wife's difficult delivery and how they need her brother to help while shes in recovery is one of the funniest fucking things he has ever done. hes such a jock. hes like damnnn that sucks anyway hold on [cums]
i can’t stop thinking about ilya clubbing circa 2011. diesel jeans, shitty prada button up, hair absolutely CRISPY with gel. cliff marleau on his left tricked out head to toe in ed hardy. cloud of fucking paco robanne in the booth. cîroc with a sparkler sticking out of the neck. “this my fucking song, marly!” and it’s david guetta’s ‘where them girls at.’ he’s so drunk, he’s so loud, he’s got the drips, he’s spent $2300 in two hours. no one knows he’s gonna be gay married in ten years. i have to cry!
worth the wait?
goddd I’m SUCH a sucker for fics where they’re together but shane assumes ilya hasn’t stopped fucking other people. and this misunderstanding continues because they never talk about anything real ever. because they are both too afraid that if they talk or fight or whatever it’ll reveal that they care more than the other person does
"I think you can tell your parents you're gay without giving them a list of all the guys you're fucking" said in a joking manner is not a joke at all.
Because when they bring up Shane's parents and Shane says they'd be okay with him being gay but they just haven't talked about it, Ilya shrugs and lets it go.
However, when Shane adds "Sometimes I think I would've told them already" Ilya cannot let it go "Oh this is my fault?" Because Ilya knows how much Shane loves his parents. And Shane would've told them already if it wasn't Ilya. Shane who loves his parents so much is lying to them because of Ilya. Shane whose parents would be okay with him being gay is keeping it a secret because of Ilya. If it was anyone else, Yuna and David would welcome him into the family and accept him as Shane's boyfriend and love him. She would've loved you like I love you. Shane is lying to the most important people in his life because of Ilya. She would've loved you like I love you. Because his parents would be okay with him being with a man but not him being with Ilya. She would've loved you like I love you. Because his parents hate Ilya. "I think you can tell your parents you're gay without giving them a list of all the guys you're fucking" Am I just a guy you're fucking? "Anyways it doesn't really matter" And Shane abruptly stands up and Ilya's hand on Shane's leg drops and he's doing the nose thing that he does when he's uncomfortable. It doesn't really matter...
Little does Ilya know that Shane's love for him is so potent and so powerful that he's willing to lie to his parents to protect it.
~Heated~ Rivalry 😜
i do think ilya was born to be the other woman
he just has the aura of someone who is willing to be cast aside for the privilege of still being chosen, even if he's not first. he knows how to play it cool, he knows how to keep a secret, he won't get too attached, actually, he knows what this is. he knows the rules. he loves to wait around to be called and he loves to be wanted even in private and it's not a slow, continuous death, really, he could do this for years and years. as long as he's still chosen, even if not all the time.