Lee G

I am a musicionary. A musician missionary for Jesus. This page documents my journey with God and what I find to be most important through music, poetry and words.

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I dedicate this song to the original medicine man, Jesus Christ. 

Been listening to Seanwes who encouraged me to publish more stuff, even if it’s not perfect and could be better. This is far from perfect, audio quality is poor but I like the verse and wanted to share it so enjoy. 

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Snow Storm Serendipity

The snowflakes looked like streams of glowing fiber-optic string in the car headlights as we zoomed cautiously down the highway back to Philadelphia. It was Friday night and we had just done a vespers program of The Lamb Wins at Blue Mountain Academy in Hamburg. Jennifer and I talked about the possibility that the concert the next morning at the Indonesian Pioneer Memorial Church in New Jersey would be cancelled due to the bad weather. Jennifer also told me that Deana, who had performed with us at Blue Mountain Academy, would also be coming to the show the next morning. Little did we know that God would end up using what would look to us like disadvantages to his advantage.

After waking up early the next morning I called Deana to confirm that we were meeting at Jen’s before heading to New Jersey as a group. She didn’t pick up. I figured she was getting ready or on her way so I decided to get ready myself before heading out to my mom’s snow-covered car. While driving to Jen’s, I called Deana again. This time my phone call woke her up.

“Deana, are you coming to the concert?” I asked.

“Jen called it off because of the snow!” Deana said groggily. After a short discussion, we realized she had dreamed Jen had called the concert off. Then Deana rose and checked out the streets around her house. She found that her streets had not been plowed and she would be unable to drive until they were.

Moving forward, Jen and I left from her home and arrived about 90 minutes later at the church to meet the other singers--Ranny, Krystal and Roxanne. We needed to know if Deana was coming or not because it would affect which songs we would sing. I called her.

“The streets still haven’t been plowed, so I won’t make it!” she said, “But I’ll pray for you!”

It turned out that her prayers may have accomplished more for the Kingdom than her presence and her amazing voice could have.

Earlier that day when we arrived at the church, the parking lot was full of snow. The elders were shoveling away, when a young man named Carlos saw them. He decided to come over and help, even though he had just finished shoveling his own church’s parking lot across the street. They invited him to stay for church and he said he would. He went home to change and began to have second thoughts about coming, but decided he would stick to his commitment. He ended up being tremendously blessed by the service and signing up for The Lamb Wins Revelation Bible studies!

After the service, we all had lunch followed by a screening of The Lamb Wins documentary. After the documentary we had a question and answer session with the director of the film, Justin Mclaughlin, myself, and Jennifer. Carlos asked us a few questions during the session but after it was done, I ended up talking with him personally. The conversation we had ended up being a huge blessing to me. He told me that he was especially blessed by the raps that I did in The Lamb Wins. Being an avid rap fan before becoming a Christian, he had struggled ever since his conversion to find rap that was speaking truth. I resonated with his frustration. He longed for quality music, finding lyrics that would almost be what he was looking for but yet always missing the mark, even if ever so slightly. I could tell that the rap on The Lamb Wins was meeting a need as he told me again and again to keep doing it and that God had really used it to speak to him.

Please pray for Carlos and for me, that we may continue to grow in Christ and that God can continue using The Lamb Wins and my rhymes for His glory.

- Lee G

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Death of the Six Month Challenge: The Reality of My Limitations

It’s hard to do this. To admit failure is never an easy thing. But just as I made a public announcement that I would start a six month challenge of uploading one new song, one blog, one old song and one freestyle a week to my blog, I will make a public announcement that as of last week, the experimental challenge is over. It went on for about two months strong. During these two months I would sometimes stay up late to post just before 12 am. Friends asked me, “Why?" when they saw how overwhelmed I became by keeping up with the challenge in addition to other responsibilities. I told them I had to keep my word. One friend prayed that I would truly use these weekly uploads as a ministry, not doing it for its own sake.  But that’s what it became--something I did to hold up my end of a bargain. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it; it felt great to be creating and sharing consistently. It got my creative wheels rolling and I am happy with some of the uploads.  But I didn’t need to do four uploads a week for six months!  I like to set standards high and then strive for greatness. Problem is, I often--or almost always--fall far short of the standards I set for myself and then feel bad.

Success Defined

My girlfriend is very honest, bless her heart. She has diagnosed me as someone who sets standards and goals just so I can achieve them and feel successful by my estimate. So I started to wonder what success is... Is it setting goals and crossing them off of a list and then feeling good about yourself for doing so? Is it something I create in my head and then make a reality? Is that how success is defined? Then I remembered a Bible verse my friend Jennifer Schwirzer told me to keep when I asked how I could pay her back for helping me pay the tuition for ARISE (a Bible college I went to in 2010). The verse was Micah 6:8-

“He has shown you, O man what is good; 

And what does the LORD require of you

But that you do justly,

To love mercy,

And to walk humbly with your God?”

Lessons

Yes, I still struggle to see success by God’s definition. I have found myself craving for success and striving to reach it. I see trailers for some of this years most critically-acclaimed movies like Whiplash, Nightcrawler, Birdman and Fox Chaser, which all oddly enough seem to be about people striving to be great and losing their souls in the process (I haven’t seen the movies, just judging the plot based on the trailers and noticing trends that show me I’m not the only one struggling.) Perhaps there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be great or successful, but Jesus said, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,” Matthew 20:26. So clearly God’s definition of greatness doesn’t always match mine. 

The Bible uses an analogy for the ungodly, calling them beasts (Psalm 49:20, 73:22, 2 Peter 2:12, Jude 1:10)

Beasts are all about survival (eating and mating), sometimes very territorial (competitive), they only operate based on their senses (they have no faith in the unseen). Not to offend the animal lovers out there, but God has given us humans the ability to see the unseen (faith), to be selfless (love) and to serve others, rather than try to dominate them like animals. This is all by His grace of course- His character. That’s what I want. Although the passions of the flesh wage war against my soul, when I submit to the Lord, those armies will flee.

Am I launching into religious speak to somehow justify my actions for not following through on the six month challenge? Not at all, just sharing some insights gleaned from the experience. 

Highlights

The highlights of the six month challenge for me were the Bob Dylan remix of “The Times They Are A-Changing” for New Tuesdays (“The Times They Are A-Ending”), and Ty Gibson retweeting my blog on ADHD. I also really enjoyed Freestyle Fridays and recording to a phone recording of a beat I've always wanted Delon to send me "No Conspiracy Against God".

Moving Forward

What will I be doing with my time now that I’m not doing the four uploads a week six month challenge? Well, I’d like to keep that somewhat on the hush hush for now (no more promises!), but let’s just say I’ll be focusing on making some recordings and spending time with loved ones. 

I’m trying to make gradual progress and consistency my bywords. Who said that winners never quit? Maybe they quit so they can win.

Is there anything that you need to quit so that you can win?

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The rules are simple. Pick one of Delon's beat without thinking much about which one and then don't look at the freestyle topic suggestions until you press record. The topics for today were The Black Man in 2015 and Studying Scripture. Thanks Dr. Ray Jr. and Michael and everyone else for your suggestions if I didn't get to them I apologize. Took my time on this one. 

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A sweet, silly song I made as a Christmas present to my nephew Ryan years ago. Gave me a chance to be creative and take a hand at production/writing/mixing/beat making without being too hard on myself. I had a lot of fun with this one. 

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Book Review of Something's Happening: The Behind the Scenes Story of GYC

I recently had a personal experience of disillusionment with the Generation of Youth for Christ conference. Friends began telling me that there was a higher up committee that was really calling the shots, a group of individuals who were careful not to give a voice to anyone who had views at all different from theirs within Adventism. I wasn’t so sure how true these stories were but as evidence seemed to mount and I heard how speakers who expressed views that didn’t fall in line were not asked to return and the music ministry I’m a part of, The Lamb Wins was not granted a booth even after further dialogue showing we met all the supposed criteria, I’ll be honest, I started to gripe a bit. GYC began to look to me like The Wizard of Oz—something that looked amazing with awesome characters, appearing to be a grassroots youth-run conference devoted to the Adventist message and open to input by their attendees when in reality, behind the curtain, a select group of unseen people were dictating the show.

When a friend of mine told me about the book, Something's Happening: The Behind the Scenes Story of GYC I couldn’t wait to read it. It was exactly what I’d been wanting, a behind-the-scenes view with first-person accounts from those involved with the conference. I was hooked from the introduction, which said that GYC could not give their stamp of approval to the book. This made me feel that it wasn’t concerned with pumping up the prestigious conference but with being honest about the story and some of the problems behind the curtain. I literally could not stop reading the book until it was done. This is partly because I was waiting expectantly for the page that would divulge the Wizard of Oz. 

What happened was actually quite different. While I saw hints of what I had heard about, it never seemed to come front and center. But that is precisely what makes this book so fascinating. It presents the conference and the individuals behind it as imperfect human beings committed to serving the Lord, and not as diabolical villains or dictators. And while those looking for such characters or themes at play may be able to see something of satisfaction, those who agree with and stand by the leaders and their convictions will also be pleased to see them stand their ground. A key example is a chapter when Manny Cruz, the director of Youth Ministries for the SDA church asks Israel Ramos, founder of GYC to support a youth conference being put on by the North American division. Israel says he will not support it because of the music. Manny then puts it out on the table that Israel is asking the North American Division to support his conference and yet is not willing to support what the world church is doing. Some may point and see an inconsistent “us versus them” or “holier than thou” dynamic at play with Israel, while others may see a man with right convictions standing his ground, come what may, despite the tension of the situation. What I learned and appreciated about this book is that it shows how the truth isn’t as dramatic as hearsay, but much more dynamic, multi-dimensional and fascinating. It was also inspirational to see how God uses young people with a vision to do something epic like creating the GYC conference and writing a book like this!

I still have some unanswered questions, but I feel much more informed. I appreciate Suzanne’s journalism and the perspectives she voiced in this behind-the-scenes story. I’d still like to get a few more behind-the-scenes perspectives, but that shows that the book has sparked a spirit of investigation in me, which isn’t easy to do. It seems the story never ends and the more I find out, the less I really know. 

Something's Happening is available now on Amazon.com

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Been writing Scripture songs from 1 Peter for a while now. This one is for the 4th chapter, the 1st and 2nd verse. Verses that have been very thought-provoking to me lately. 

"Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God." 1 Peter 4:1-2

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The 9th Freestyle in the Freestyle Friday Series of the 6 Month Challenge. 

The rules are as always: I choose a beat by Delon at random (this was the beat "Space Police Cruisin'") and don't look at the freestyle topic suggestions until just before I press record to rap. I'm going to add another rule for myself like, "check the microphone level before recording," because it's been peeked out (turned up too high) the last couple times. Sorry about that. But the topics were great: Coconut, new years resolutions, and why we should obey God--the motive and last and also the least rapped about, popsicles. Thank you Rachel, Matt, Jen and Bryant who posted these topics on my Facebook status and to everyone else who gave topics for me to rhyme to, they were all awesome and I will be using them throughout the week for practice.  

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This is a song I wrote a while back for and about my Grandma who lives in Birmingham Alabama. She's my last living grandparent and I need to visit her soon. Beat made by my friend Larrie Brown. 

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Things That Are On My Heart

My girlfriend Hillary. She has challenged me in so many ways to love and receive love. She has not taken my halfhearted attempts at being present, she has inspired me to strive for being the best I can be with money management, time management, to take myself seriously.

The Bible and how to share what it says in a way that makes God look as beautiful and attractive as he really is. 

Opportunities. God has blessed me with so many. In particular, with music he has given me an open door, a green light to create for so long. I am grateful, humbled, and challenged by the people and friends he has placed in my path who have supported me.

Delon. My friend and brother who has been such an influence on me. He has been through so much and I know God is doing amazing things in his life. What a talented guy, what a powerful man of God.

My mom who has been the most supportive person in my life. No one has been more supportive of me musically or just in general. She has patiently encouraged me to find my way. I am forever grateful for each year I have had to spend with her and the faith she helped me have in God at a young age.

Jesus and his soon return. I want to know him as he is so that I can be like him and show others who he is. 

Being a failure. But I know that God's grace is made perfect in my weakness and that by His grace, I have been a blessing in many peoples lives. 

A desire to be great, a desire to be known, a desire to be recognized that I know only God can satisfy. I want to truly be willing to be something or nothing for the sake of Jesus.

Happy new year.

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This James 2:4 Scripture song seemed timely. When people ask me what I think of the current events in America with police and young black males, my answer often has to do with a bigger issue that can catch us unaware. Like how constantly being told the same story over and over again can lead us to put people and people groups in boxes and point fingers. All police officers are not corrupt, all black people are not criminals, all white people are not racist, all of us pointing fingers are not better than all of them being pointed at. We are all sinful human beings. I see these two incidents (the death of Michael Brown and Eric Garner) causing a lot of division among people with good intentions. #blacklivesmatter for sure as do #yellowlives #whitelives #redlives because life matters. Jesus was able to trace cause to effect when he looked at people and he had compassion for all. He loved, prayed for and blessed his enemies and told us to do the same. This is one of my favorite scripture songs from James, a book full of check yourself before you wreck yourself verses. Have you made distinctions, treating one better than another based on appearance? Are you? Am I?

As usual, it's a demo folks.

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Thanks to Christian, Mitchell, and Rachel for the topic suggestions. The beat by Delon is called "Rigged"

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Closest thing we've made to a Christmas song! Enjoy! And Merry Christmas!

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Blue Like ADHD

I remember the first time someone told me I had ADD or ADHD, Attention Deficit (Hyperactive) Disorder. I was like, “No.” Just wasn’t having it, end of story. Fast forward a couple years and I’m reading this book called, “Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain” by John Ratey and it’s listing symptoms of ADHD and talking about how exercise helps to regulate the brain and enhance it’s ability to concentrate. One example after another describing people with this condition is pretty much describing me so the shoe fits, and I’ll wear it. And because he’s breaking down the actual science of what happens in the brain when a person has this condition, the unattractive title that once repulsed me is sounding less like a disorder or illness and more like a scientific way to describe how some peoples brains work in a unique way. I’m like, wow, this is a brain condition that can be understood and managed through natural means. I’m understanding now why I need hyper structure and organization in my day and why without it my mind can wander all over the place, and I wonder where the time went. I’m understanding how exercise can help me concentrate and give me the benefits of a Ritalin pill and I’m looking at this thing (ADHD) not so much as a disability (as the name implies) but as a condition that must be accepted and matched with other things like exercise and organization so that I can self-regulate and flourish. I’m looking at ADHD now, not as a disability but as something as neutral as a color. If I was in denial that my shirt was blue, I wouldn’t be able to match it in the right way with other clothes and make a fly outfit. Now that I’m accepting that I have a blue shirt, I’m going to match it with some cool black pants (exercise), a fly grey jacket (scheduling and hyper-organization) and maybe even some blue sneakers (you get what I’m saying?) And maybe later I’ll have a different color shirt-I’m not attached to blue and am open to changing shirts, but if this is what I’ve got to work with now, I’ll rock it. Not excusing myself for being mismatched but intentionally making a fashion statement (metaphorically speaking). Life is too fun and God made me too unique to waste time worrying about what some call a disability when I can learn about how my brain works, and allow God to function through me with His ability. Many people with ADHD end up being entrepreneurs precisely because they’ve learned how to manage their so-called disability into a gift. What I once thought of as a disability to shun is becoming something I’m thankful for and understanding. Blue might just become my new favorite color. 

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Thanks to my friend Chris Irrgang for the idea which spawned this weeks post. He was driving in his car listening to Bob Dylan's, "The Times They Are A-Changing" and thinking about how it must have been to hear that song when it was written when he thought of the title and theme, "The Times They Are A-Ending"

  As usual, it's a demo folks! Here are the lyrics. And I want to say, I wrote this just as much to myself first as to anyone else to whom it concerns. 

Come gather 'round people who are called by his name

And admit that you’re naked and miserable, shamed

According to the one with whose blood you are stained

If your life to you is worth saving

Then you’ll lose it indeed in the ruins of your greed

For the times, they are a-end-ing

Come mockers and scoffers who say He’s delayed

When a thousand years here for the Lord is one day

A day here for the Lord is a thousand years made

And this should be the time you're repenting

It’s been two days and today just may be the last

For the times they are a-end-ing

Come mothers and fathers with fingers that point

As your children abandon traditions you’ve coined

And the house that you’ve made that the storm will destroy

There’s a rock with foundations unbending

Better build on that ground ‘fore the storm tears you down

For the times they are a-end-ing

Come elders and deacons with hearts that are crushed

You must give an account for the souls in your trust

Are they founded and firm, are they flustered and rushed?

Please rise up for the faith you’re contending

As Christ holds up His hands pleading blood so you can

For the times they are a-end-ing

The line it is drawn the standard is set

While this cry sounds the last trumpet hasn’t blown yet

When the first and the last will return to collect

Have you invested all that He’s lending?

Give him all of your life for the harvest is ripe

And the times they are a-ending

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A great beat by Delon and a peaked out recording by Lee (sorry about that, working on it.)

Ching Ching / Dating / Noah's Ark were the topics. Thank you so much to those who contributed todays amazing topics!

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An old song that in a very broad and general way summarizes my life up until coming to Jesus. Delon made this beat sampling our friend Zoe Hillengas playing the flute.