..a pirate heart left wandering in the vast ocean

[leftpirateheart]

I hope to forget you too

Every single night on my days off we watch movies together but yesterday you had to go visit family thus no movie nights. that made me feel alone and started to long for you. I realized i started missing you and at the same time was worried about you. Hence i have to leave before this feelings of mine grow 

[leftpirateheart]

Hoping to forget about you too </3

I finally did watched My Amnesia girl. Back then I kinda vowed to myself to watch the movie with someone special because of people saying how good and romantic the movie was. So the younger me made that vow hoping that the person whom I will be sharing that precious moment would be special as well. That someday eventually came today. Here we are on discord coms giggling and laughing while watching the show. Cleg you are making me like you every single day. Whenever you call out my name to talk about the movie we are currently watching amidst of everyone else who is in the same channel makes me feel extra special. I want to love you at the same time Im scared How I wish I’d eventually forget about you and this feeling I have for you. Cleg :( 

[leftpirateheart]

My Girl-Crush got married

To start off, Im gay.

I had few girl crushes before when I still hasnt accepted who I am entirely. But im sure it was also pure and true, my crushes on girls that is. Probably my instinct as male was still kicking in before. I never had enough courage to ask them, I just show them that I am interested and what not. Fast forward to today, 22/08/2020, I found out that my crush after college, the girl who I worked with before is getting married. I saw her story, her pre-nuptial photo shoot and it hit me. A surge of saddness came crashing down on me. I felt powerless and hopeless for sometime. Luckily im at work and im obliged to work so I cant mope around and lie in bed crying. I never once entertained the thought of what its like to feel when the person you loved is getting married. I knew I would be sad when Arman, my crush since gradeschool, would get married, but I never imagined I would feel sad if its one of my girl crush. I can totally say she was the one that got away. She accepted me and kinda showed that she liked me or at least she made me feel that way. I could remember the times when we were working together in busy shifts but able to still smile and listen to music and help each other out. Me or her would visit one another if we work on different stations. I took her once to a resort had an awesome ?date, not sure what to call. Everything I can remember of her is that she had been very supportive on whatever endeavor I partake, she always makes me smile and now I sad

[leftpirateheart]

 My day started as painfully dull with no hints of motivation at all. I woke up, opened my laptop, and started playing my computer game which I had been hooked on for months now. I got ganked (PK) while gathering materials hence I logged out. It was tad boring and dull. I went to work after fixing myself a quick dinner consisted of an egg sandwich. I started work with a very sleepy demeanour. Not even coffee helped me liven my dampen spirits. However, I got a snap from HIM. That one person who teasingly stole my heart without him even knowing. My alertness spiked up, my heart started beating again, my body suddenly cried for life. With that snap, I came to realize how pathetic I had become. How my mood depends on one single person. How I cling on for every thread he hands out to me. How he could become my happiness or my depression. I had been single for 26 years. I had overcome, or I so think I had, many instances of loneliness. But, here I am again, clutching my phone as if it has become my very life. Waiting for it to vibrate hoping that it would be him. Hoping that even in his 24 hours every single day, he would grant a single second of attention to me :(

[leftpirateheart]

Lost Love

Here I am again. Trying to move on again from someone who doesn't even know that I have feelings for him. Why is it that I easily fall for someone? Why is it that a tiniest attention from them makes my heart skip a beat? Why does a simple message from them turns my dark days a lot more brighter? Is it because I lacked the feeling of being loved? Is it because I never had been given even a slight of attention? Everything about me feels so pathetic right now. Clinging even to the slightest bit of attention hoping that it might be love. For how long do I have to keep on chasing for love? For how long do I have to be blindly seeking for love? For how long will I be able to keep sane amidst of my raging feelings and emotions

[leftpirateheart]

.... Season , of Melbourne,... when Grass, and Trees, starts to lose its Colors, then Autumn, is finally here :) Autumn Colors, Autumn Leaves, Autumn 2016, First Eyeem Photo at Melbourne by Envy's Ouroboros on EyeEm

[leftpirateheart]

..how long do I have to wear this #dreamcatcher for you to start falling for me? I promise to catch you when you fall :) #selfie

[leftpirateheart]

...with this #dreancatcher, 'm sure you'll fall for me, if not, I'll melt you with my eyes then. Hahahhahaa :) #selfie

[leftpirateheart]

#squadgoalsn#byahenimaiqui #bantayan2015 #CoucouBarBantayan (at Coucou Bar, Hotel & Restaurant)

[leftpirateheart]

...kanang mura lage nag eye liner ko dri hahahaha :)

[leftpirateheart]

..with you, you can take me far from here, take me anywhere cuz everywhere else without you is not a place I wanna be.

[leftpirateheart]

...beauty is love that blooms in perfect harmony. Jut like you and me :) #flora

[leftpirateheart]

...dear manito/manita, I should have heeded your words. I should have not opened the gift until my next lifetime. You almost gave me a heart attack! Hahahaa it was a good laugh indeed! #christmasKringles #kringles #christmas #giftgiving #manito #manita

[leftpirateheart]

..Bella, you are like a drug to me. You're like my own personal brand of heroine. #Sagada2015 #byahenimaiqui (at Kiltepan Peak, Sagada, Mountain Province)

[leftpirateheart]

...atm :) #hcca #thedisabled #disabilityteam #WestTownLagoon

[leftpirateheart]

...do i look a lot more like an #Ifugao now? :) #byahenimaiqui #rootlessfeet #Baguio2015

[leftpirateheart]

...it had been 5 years since I last skated at MOA :) Im happy that a skating rink was made a little bit closer to home :D #HappyKid #IceSkating #smseasidecebu #smseaside (at SM Seaside City Cebu (Official))