me? i’m tight as fuck

Dale. 31. West Hollywood, CA.

[legendofzelda-deactivated201202]

[ecstasyakadarks]

legendofzelda:

THE BEST POST OF ALL POSTS

IM GONNA DIE

[legendofzelda]

Jesus

[drops-of-universe]

can i come over and do this

[parkchanwoohoo]

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

[godisafujoshi]

Then they spit roast me

[parkchanwoohoo]

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

[benzeneteen]

i wish i was a cishet guy so that i could start a podcast and go to the gym and allow that to fulfill me spiritually. but instead i have these visions

[bloodofelves]

MOUTHWASHING ↳ movie posters

[wizardpostsdotorg]

when it’s really bad again and it’s still way better than it used to be but it’s still really bad. and you do all the right stuff and you try and try and it still really hurts but it’s working but it still hurts and you go see the beautiful majesty of nature and your soul is so close to being at peace but your mind is still in pain. and it’s better but it’s still bad. and the sun is setting.

[small-bambi]

Harrison Wood Hsiang

[guinevereteef]

I'm trying to sleep and the bugs outside are buzzing at a certain cluster of wavelengths that reads to my brain as a human voice and whenever I let my focus shift it jumps to trying to hear what the gnat king has to say

[guinevereteef]

I closed my window

[maniculum]

Refusal of the Call - TV Tropes

The character, typically the hero, receives a Call to Adventure but at first refuses for some reason. Events then conspire to force them to

[germicelli]

hes waiting by the microwave

[mioxenoblade]

WHYS THERE A METAL CUP IN THE MICROWAVE

[supportive-rapport]

NOOO LITTLE CAT DONT PUT METAL IN THE MICROWAVE

[lesbian-toddhoward]

[riley-rogue]

[omghotmemes]

Senpai says you’re welcome

[quintusbenedictus]

Reblogging again because I just realized that if I had this advice in high school I would’ve never made a tumblr account.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Also works for most of those news sites like WSJ or NYT that only let you read a little bit, or block adblockers. Also some disable the scroll bar but if you go to the right side of the console after hitting F12 and look for the CSS element “overflow” and change it from “hidden” to “visible” then you can continue scrolling for free. Might have to click around on different parts of the page to find it, but it should work.

[ralfmaximus]

There’s also a Firefox/Chrome extension called Behind The Overlay that does all that with one mouse click. Used it for years; what a time saver.

And if you encounter a true paywall, use Archive.Today to bypass it. Just paste the paywalled url into the blue “search archived snapshots” box near the bottom:

[blurryseaglass]

how to at least imagine what the sun looked like when you remember a fear you once had (2023)

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[gloombby]

i want a cig and a joint and alcohol n a cool knife n maybe some blood loss

[mrscancelled-1]

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[saintbleeding]

cats will literally be loud and small and in the way

[swallowedgirl]

Anna Haifisch

[deirdreskye]

Babe are you okay I saw you reblogging "here's the life I've always longed for"

[agalarianzigzagoon]

for anyone curious there is a follow up image:

[cherryflavoredbutch]

oh fuck *falls back into old habits* *screen fades to black* *level loading* TIP: your belief that you are incapable of changing for the better will become a self fulfilling prophecy if left unchallenged