🤹‍♀️

she/they/neos. over 25, sometimes reblog nsfw so minors beware/dni

[cewn]

rooooooooooooooooofl

[captain-price-returns]

At least one member of the British government is doing their job.

[arrowquillpokemon]

game: has any kind of elemental based fighting system

me: apply pokemon logic

[gluttonousgoddess]

To be fair Pokemon element logic is rooted in normal logic.

[arrowquillpokemon]

yeah, everyone knows a wrestlers biggest weakness is the local pigeons

[karnalesbian]

go outside and try to suplex a bird

[dolleyeresponse]

tell me how bug resists fighting

[karnalesbian]

go outside and try to suplex a bug

[crabussy]

-> listening to a jaunty country style song -> hear the lyrics wrong -> pause. frown. go back a few seconds to relisten -> hears the same fucked up lyrics -> check the actual lyrics to see what it ACTUALLY says

-> oh!

[robinstome]

there's no fucking way

[yanguang]

no context wuxiaposting

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[theyellowbrickroad]

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

[chickensnack]

TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM

[tonyzaret]

For the typical “gamer,” there is nothing unusual about spending upwards of 10 hours a year “gaming”

[everyday-cutephoto]

[whatcoloristhatcat]

black mackerel tabby with high white spotting

[louceph]

smirking bastard with grievous grin

[pangur-and-grim]

my house is scary at night

[storyweavingspider]

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[cupcraft]

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

[aropride]

do u like mine

[cupcraft]

Oh wow.

[cupcraft]

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

[maja-paja]

[bungerc0re]

it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)

[contemptible-scoundrel]

nothing in the rules says a python can't play basketball

[homophobla]

Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”

[phoenix-theurge]

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.