The End episode: Oliver Banks shows up as a guest. The camera pans over to Martin, who is glaring daggers at Oliver.
Jon: This gentleman is Oliver Banks. Say hello, kids! So Mr. Banks--
Oliver, being unfairly handsome: Jon, please. Call me Oliver.
Jon, flusters: ah, y-yes. Er, Oliver, as an Avatar of Terminus, i understand you get portentous dreams? That seems interesting!
Oliver: Not as much as you would think. Mostly I dream of people being dead. [shrugs] They don't do much once they're dead.
[One of the kids in the audience raises their hand. Jon catches the kid's eye and gestures at him]
Jon: You have a question for Mr. Banks?
Child 1: Yes! Mr. Banks, when do people die?
Oliver: [smiles serenely at the child] For most people, it's a mystery. Some die when they're very old, some very young. Some of you will die in beds or cars or at your desks as depressed office workers. It could happen at any time.
Child 2: But I don't want to die soon!
Oliver: Death is a natural progression of life as much as birth. [he looks at Child 2 and gives them a comforting smile.] Try not to let the ending take away from the time remaining. You have many years ahead of you.
[Oliver looks back at Child 1 and pauses awkwardly.]
Oliver: You, not so much. You may want to get your affairs in order.
[Oliver tries to smile away the uncomfortable moment as Child 1 bursts into sobs. It doesn't work. Martin is seen stomping into the scene and manhandles Oliver off the set as Jon tries to calm the audience. The episode ends abruptly.]
(Martin, looming over Oliver: You can't just tell children they're going to die!!
[Oliver shuffles back halfway behind Jon, who's looking Tired. His hand twists on Jon's sleeve. Martin's scowl deepens.]
Jon: To be fair, we tell them things out there want to kill them all the time
Oliver: Er, yeah, how's this any different?
Martin, shrill: IT'S VERY DIFFERENT!! HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL HOW VERY DIFFERENT IT IS? [he yanks Oliver off of Jon] And quit touching Jon!! He doesn't like it!!! You've been doing it this whole time!! STOP.
[Oliver looks at Jon, who nods awkwardly. Oliver nods amicably back and disentangles himself from Martin's grip. There's a good space between him and the other two men now.]
Martin: Your disregard for personal boundaries and, and the sensibilities of children is--it's despicable! You're banned! You're not allowed back on set. Ever!
Jon: Martin? That seems a little--are you okay? I mean, he didn't know and you're not normally so--
Martin, fuming: I'M FINE!
Jon:...right, okay. Well, Oliver, thank you for being here today.
[Oliver eyes Martin cautiously before reaching out to shake Jon's hand. He stops halfway and sticks his hands in his pockets instead. Jon gives him a small relieved smile.]
Oliver: Thank you for having me. Are we still on for drinks later? I promise I'll keep my hands to myself.
[Jon walks him out. Martin is heard choking out "Drinks?!" as they leave. He repeats the question when Jon returns.]
Jon, shrugs shyly: Georgie says I should make more friends and...and he was nice to me. Wasn't he? Or at least he's not tried to kill me. And he smiles a lot. Like you do. So I thought--
[Martin visibly deflates the longer Jon rambles nervously. He looks at Jon with a mix of sadness and fondness and just a hint of lingering irritation. He sighs, cutting off Jon.]
Martin: No, you're right. I just--it's fine. I'm sure he'll make a good friend [Martin blushes when Jon beams at him]
Tim, gleefully in the background: We're gonna get so much hate-mail for this episode.)
Thanks to @lemonisinplay for coming up with half of this installment. You have the BEST sense of humor XD
