wait what

this is me sexily ruining my life.

[trudayproud-deactivated20150729]

when yall Dox racists and they lose their jobs

[imwritingpoems-deactivated20200]

You’re homesick for arms that don’t want to hold you.

M.O.W, A ten word story (via yoursly)

[eymo]

when someone asks if you like 1d

[studiotrigger-deactivated201605]

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

[gifdumped]

[luminousquasar]

[leonardodeunicorn]

The level at which South Park takes its detail is ridiculous. Look at the audience

[leonardodeunicorn]

girl: babe come over

boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple

girl: my parents aren't home

boy: I know

[deadtwink]

remember when gaga played the recording of the booing at last years vmas and everyone thought she was actually getting booed I C O N I C

[shortvideosandstuff]

[my-wonderland-bitch]

satan’s work

[whosaprettypolyglot]

I told one of my students that his oral presentation was on the 3rd of december

He seems to have slightly misunderstood me - I just received an email titled “here is the assignment about the 3rd of december”

He’s literally written me a short essay about the 3rd of december

he’s explained what the 3rd of december is as well as every important historical event that has ever happened on the 3rd of december

what do I do omfg

[christopherjonesart]

[thegirlwiththethornonherside]

aaaaaaawwwwww

[whoaoh]

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING POST EVER

[sunfell]

These two…

[methhomework]

[leonardodeunicorn]

*at a meet and greet with Ariana*

me: i just wanted to say that i love you and your music so much and i'll support you till the end my queen

ariana: awww thank you so much! wanna take a pic?

me: sure! *puts my arm around her and snatches a patch of her hair*

ariana: ouch!

me: *calls mariah* phase one complete master

[sizvideos]

[ablackgirldaydreaming]

I think this is so cool

[mcnuggetclub]

[harrystylesmusic]

[indicaxdreams-deactivated202301]

So last night I was pretty high and thought lol ima draw a happy lil face in this banana cus why the fuck not

I CAME DOWNSTAIRS THIS MORNING AND NEARLY PISSED MYSELF