noises from recordings i am listening to
are often scaring me and I must keep reminding myself
that there are many beeps and bobs in songs
the abuse of a bad man’s words
& burning them because I felt as if
there were hairs far too big
because I could not handle my own femininity
because I pushed my husband away
and did not consumate with my new one
now after going through all sorts of lets call it wonderful & horrifying
I am finally learning how to ‘handle’ my sex drives
I have learned to accept and love what is within
I had help because I searched for it
in the form of more people who would leave and hurt me
I feel the sex drive and becuase of what I have experienced
i am not numb I just feel it and do not give in to it
This is also the way with most of my hearts feelings
I wish I could indulge my hearts many human drives
the best way so far is dancing
but I am happy with my love
and I forgive myself for all of the things I made myself do
I love myseflf or most of them
but I will be so very very angry for some of them
for possibly the rest of my life
that said I will still forgive myself
I will try so very very hard to love myself
of a woman with no cure for grief
I am have feel within my hold
HAhahahahahahhahahahahaha
And only the two of us will know
but we have so many alter egos
so many sides on a beautiful diamond
I should be talking to me
but I am interested in you
you werent worth any of the bullshit I went through to prepare for you
janainaart
kaledo-art
stormborns
gummygunk
blakekathryn
snowghoul
ellievsbear
yousharknotpass
