Rape Culture Has Turned It's Ugly Head- What I Think About the Woody Allen Affiar
The buzz about Woody Allen has recently caught my attention. I intend to continue on with my normally scheduled programming after this post, but this topic has been eating at me since Jenna Marbles' highly controversial video about sluts and the onslaught of posts about "slut shaming".
First off, I want to preface this by saying that I am a girl who believes women should be free to share and to demonstrate their sexuality. I believe that if a woman says no, and the man does not respect that, blatant rape has occurred. But I also believe that rape culture has completely flipped on its head.
To me, if you are a liberal you are supposed to believe in equal treatment for all, not special treatment for one. Upworthy recently posted a video of a stand up comedian saying it was okay for black men to be racist. I highly disagree. It's never okay for anyone to be racist. It's just perpetuating the problem and keeping the world from getting along. On the same token, it is never okay to be sexist. Man-hates are almost championed as strong women in this society, but hating men for the sake of hating men is still just another form of hatred. Hate and anger are two things that keep the world from peaceful living.
I don't buy that bullshit that this overcompensation somehow makes up for the past. No one should have to pay for the sins of their fathers. It doesn't make sense to me. We have realized the wrongs of hating black men because their fathers gave them black skin. Why do we hate white people for the same thing?
And now, for years of a sexist society, women are finally getting their say. I applaud this. I know the fight for equal treatment is far from over (believe me, I work in a law firm where the bosses are all male and the women stay at the bottom of the ladder), but this "it's always the man's fault" nonsense is getting on my nerves.
When I was 9 years old, my mother was beaten and forcibly raped. She was sent to the hospital for this. The police men didn't believe her, and her office fired her because they blamed her.
I don't think rape has to be a violent crime, but I believe if you're going to be a responsible, sexual adult, you have to take responsibility for your actions. If you get super trashed at a party, and then willingly go home with a man who is also super trashed, and then willingly have sex, and then wake up in the morning and decide you didn't want it, that is NOT rape. I keep seeing all these videos and posts playing out that exact scenario. Are women so weak as to not be able to be held responsible for their actions when they aren't sober? Does anyone ever ask whether or not the man was sober?
I offer this analogy. When I was in college, I was friends with fraternity member who was also a closeted homosexual and a virgin. There was a girl who had a huge crush on him. Her sorority sisters and the fraternity brother conspired together to get him super wasted and have the girl deflower him, which she did. No one would ever, ever call that rape. But if the roles had been reversed, what would you say?
I do not buy the nonsense about how its impossible for a man to be raped because he has to be into it to "get it up". Read Charles Bukowski's Factotum and you know that's not true. It's similar to a women getting turned on while she's raped; it's even possible to have an orgasm. That doesn't make it any less of an act of violation. As my husband says, "Play with it long enough and it'll get up."
As for the Mia Farrow-Dylan Farrow-Woody Allen thing, I can honestly say I don't know who to believe. I don't know enough about it. Will I watch Woody Allen movies? Probably not. But am I going to champion his immediate arrest? Definitely no. It's nonsensical. We're supposed to be a country that is innocent until proven guilty, but no we've turned to a society where it is always the man's fault and a women is incapable of taking responsibility for her actions. Do you women not see how condescending that is?
Before you're all ready to rip me apart, I want to say this. Rape is a real problem, and too often the woman is still blamed. She shouldn't have to worry about what she's wearing, how she flirted, or where she was. Legitimate rape victims never do anything to ask for it.
What I am saying is that it has become almost a fad to claim rape. It has become so commonplace that all a woman has to do is say she was raped to be immediately welcomed into the arms of support and have the man instantly be penalized.
I have been wasted and had sex with someone who I wouldn't have when I was sober. This has happened many, many times. I've blacked out and not remembered how I got somewhere or how I wound up in someone's bed. But I would never in a million years call any of this rape. Rape is what happened to my mother. It's what happens to millions of women who say, "No" and the man pursues. But it isn't drunk in a frat house and waking up to regret. Those girls who do this are making it harder for the women who are actually violated to stand up for themselves. It's harder for them to get the attention the need. And I, for one, am sick of it.
