* PRETTY HURTS.

ind. demigod original character.

[lethalove-blog1]

leftoverfear.

hayden  has  never  been  the  kind  of  person  to  actively  seek  another   ——     random  dates,      hooking  up,      jumping  into  something  she’s not  ready  for hasn’t  ever  been  something  she  concerns  herself  with.         she’s  independent,        someone  who  doesn’t  like  to  LOSE  HERSELF  in  a  relationship  if  it’s  not  going  anywhere.         and  she  refuses  to lose  herself,      hoping  to  maintain  her  independence  even  in a   relationship.        but  when  she  does  find  someone  she  cares  for,       she  gives  her  ALL.      the greatness  and  capacity  of  her  heart isn’t  a  secret,      she’s  determined  to  show  the one  she  loves  exactly  WHY  they  matter.      mikayla  has been  a  friend,      but  even  just  looking  at  her  sparks  something  else  in  hayden   ——       a  desire  for  more,     a  desire  to  show  this  girl  all  the  love  she  DESERVES,      as  long  as  she’ll  allow  it.      she’s  close,       she  can  feel  it    ——    but  as  many  times  as  she  tells  herself  she’s  too  confident  to  get  worked  up  over  feelings  like  this,     SHE’S  WRONG.    heart’s  racing,    hands  shaking  ever  so  slightly  even  as  the  other  holds  hers.    

she  can’t  help  the  chuckle  that  falls  from  her  lips  at  her  words,      not  because  she’s  teasing  her,      but  because  there’s   irony  in  it.       she’s  never  thought  of  herself  as  someone  who  can make  another  nervous     (     she  likes  the  idea  of  using  intimidation  when  necessary,      but  mikayla  isn’t  someone  she  wants  to  intimidate.     )       but  it’s  more  than  that,     because  it’s  not  just  mikayla  who’s  nervous,      it’s  hayden  too.       ❝    you  have  more  confidence  than  i  can  even   imagine  for  myself,    ❞         she  notes,     given  what  she’s  doing  at  all.        ❝   you’re    ——    saying  the  things  i’ve  wanted  to  say,      i  just  never  knew  how.     or    ——    if  you’d  want  to  hear them.   ❞         she  gulps,      eyes  looking  nervously  at  the  other’s.         ❝     so   ——-    why  didn’t  you  get  here  FASTER?    ❞        she  asks,      a  small  smile  on  her  lips  as  she  taunts.       ❝   i  can’t  stop  thinking  of  you  either.     even    ——     even  before  last  night.        do  you  know  how  long  i’ve  wanted  to  kiss  you?     ❞          they  had  to  make  a  GAME  out  of  it  before  allowing  it  to  happen.  

she’s  never  felt  this  way  before,    despite  having  countless  boyfriends  in  her  past.     before,    her  interest  was  feigned,    time  wasted  with  the  boys  she  thought  she  was  expected  to  like.    and  even  when  they  did  treat  her  right,    there  weren’t  any  feelings  on  her  end,     though  she  realizes  now  that  it  was  because  she  wasn’t  interested  in  them  at  all.     her  father  would  likely  kill  her  if  he  knew  how  she  felt,    given  that  he  would  threaten  her  for  even  the  most  minor  things.     but  her  father’s  not  here,    and  even  if  he  were,     she’s  far  deadlier  than  he  could  ever  be.    she  made  sure  she’d  never  have  to  bleed  at  the  hands  of  a  man  again.

she  gets  her  confidence  from  her  mother,    she’s  heard,    though  she  doesn’t  know  for  sure;    her  mother’s  far  too  busy  elsewhere  to  even  bother  to  meet  mikayla,    though  at  this  point,    she’s  too  used  to  it  to  think  much  of  it.      “     i  did  want  to  hear  them.    ”     from  hayden,   and  only  hayden,    apathetic  whenever  anyone  else  confessed  their  affections  for  her.     “    i  told  you  i  was  nervous.    ”     she’d  been  afraid  of  how  things  might  have  been  between  them  after  their  kiss,    but  in  the  end,    it  obviously  wasn’t  enough  to  stop  her  from  coming,    too  drawn  to  the  other  to  resist.     “     you  should  have  kissed  me  before.     i  can’t  believe  i  have  to  do  everything  myself.    ”     the  grin  on  her  lips  gives  away  the  fact  that  she’s  only  teasing,    too  relieved  that  she’d  even  be  able  to  admit  her  feelings  aloud  in  the  first  place  to  consider  how  much  time  they’d  both  wasted  by  waiting  on  the  other.

[lethalove-blog1]

venomclaws.

she’s  right  to  be  hesitant  with  tracy,       given  that  her  attentions  have  never  been  GOOD  for  anyone  other  than  herself  and  whoever’s  lead  she  has  fallen  under.        humanity’s  lost  on  her,         empathy  something  she’s  never  been  able  to  reach,        especially  now.       it’s  a  waste  of  time,       a  waste  of  space  in  a  mind  that’s  only  ever  focused  on  brutality.          eyes  examine  the  marks  left,       trying  to  decipher  WHAT  it  could  have  been  rather  than  who.      animal  sounds  like  an  understatement;      she  knows  of  the  kind  of  marks  she  herself  can  leave,        and  what  mikayla’s  experiencing  now  doesn’t  seem  too  far  off  from  the  same         (         but  SHE’S  MOVING;      tracy’s  victims  don’t  get  that  opportunity.     )         ❝    animal,      ❞         she  repeats,       head  nodding  slowly,      expression  feigning  a  softness  that’s  difficult  for  her  to  come  by.       she’s  got  a  face  so  gentle,      no  one  would  ever  be  able  to imagine  such  darkness  rests  behind  it    —–    and  she  uses  that  as  a  WEAPON,     it’s  just  never  something  she  wants  to  rely  too  heavily  on       (      she  can  pretend  to  be  weak  but  refuses  to  let  it  overcome.     )         ❝   must’ve  been  a  big  animal,   ❞       she  notes.         ❝     are  you  sure  you’re  okay?      seems  like  you  should  get  that  looked  at.       seems     —–      unnatural.    ❞              it’s  her  attempt  to  TAUNT,      as  if  to  see  if  the  other  may  give  something  up.

she’s  far  too  calm  to  be  a  survivor  of  an  animal  attack,     behaving  as  though  nothing  happened;     maybe  a  few  years  ago,    she  would  have  been  more  believable,     back  when  she  hadn’t  grown  accustomed  to  the  monsters  that  plague  people  like  her.     it’s  too  late  to  pretend  now,     so  she  sets  her  jaw,    offering  a  glance  toward  the  claw  marks,    knowing  that  she  could  heal  them  once  she’s  alone.    there’s  a  packet  of  ambrosia  stored  away  in  her  bag  for  just  this  occasion,    the  food  of  the  gods  capable  of  healing  her  wounds,     so  long  as  she  didn’t  take  too  much.     “     yeah.   i’m  totally  fine.    it  hurts,    obviously,    but  i’ll  live.    i  just  hope  it  doesn’t  scar.    ”     the  other’s  words  still  ring  in  her  head,    the  word  unnatural  repeating  itself  over  and  over.    does  she  know  something?    is  she  the  same  as  mikayla?    there’s  no  way  for  her  to  tell,    so  she  only  assumes  the  answer  is  no.    she  hopes  the  answer  is  no.

“     seriously,     it’s  okay.    i  know  how  to  take  care  of  my  own  wounds.    i’m  more  than  just  a  pretty  face.     ”      ——even  if  most  people  treat  her  otherwise,     because  girls  of  her  lineage  rarely  seem  to  care  for  more  than  what’s  in  the  mirror.    and  while  she  does  care  about  her  appearance,    she  refuses  to  let  that  be  the  only  thing  to  her.      “    you  don’t  have  to  stay.     i’ll  give  your  jacket  back  once  it’s,    like     ——      not  covered  in  blood.     ”      she  insists,    wanting  nothing  more  than  to  get  herself  alone  long  enough  to  heal  the  gashes,    feeling  her  head  grow  more  and  more  cloudy  from  the  blood  loss.

[lethalove-blog1]

like this for a starter.   mutuals only  /  lengths  will  vary.    possibly  lyric - based.   who knows.

[lethalove-blog1]

“     so,    that  whole  training  with  wolves  thing    .  .  .       ——       how  does  it  work?     do  you  find  her,     or  does  she  find  you?    ”      she’s  only  heard  about  it  from  other  campers,    the  kind  that  would  whisper  about  jackson’s  time  spent  in  the  roman  camp ——       or  in  this  case,    before.     and  although  she’d  like  to  avoid  the  roman,     rather  than  associate  with  him,    she’s  curious,    holding  an  interest  in  training   /   survival  that  the  majority  of  her  greek  siblings  seemed  to  lack.     (     though  that  could  be  due  to  the  mars’  diluted  blood  that  runs  through  her  veins,    all  unbeknownst  to  her.    )    /     @sunbruise

[girlcolour-blog]

if a girl kisses my neck? I think I will die

[itagnola-deactivated20181222]

what state do you live in?

denial

[lethalove-blog1]

like this for a starter.   mutuals only  /  lengths  will  vary.    possibly  lyric - based.   who knows.

[phantomemes]

rp sentence starters using lines from r.h. sin’s work , whiskey words and a shovel II  part one  /  part two

“ i’d like to feel nothing. ” “ i just want to feel at ease. ” “ i just want a lover who knows how it feels to feel like me. ” “ you are good enough. ” “ they only treat you how they feel about themselves. ” “ i just want to know love like i know hate. ” “ i just want a love similar to my own. ” “ i’ve always given myself in small doses. ” “ i’ve learned to expect nothing. ” “ you can’t get hurt if you feel nothing. ” “ you can’t force something to be more than what it should. ” “ i’m not giving up. ” “ i hope it’s you who survives. ” “ sometimes you have to drown to learn how to swim. ” “ i learned the lesson of settling for someone. ” “ teach them self-love and respect. ” “ everything you are is everything that i need. ” “ i know when your heart is heavy. ” “ there’s still magic in a heart that’s been broken. ” “ that’s what it always boils down to. ” “ you fall only to discover their true self. ” “ you’re in love with a mask. ” “ i understand, i’ve been there. ” “ i know how difficult it can be. ” “ losing something fraudulent makes room for something real. ” “ loving someone doesn’t make them the one. ” “ i don’t want puppy love. ” “ i’m not a child. ” “ i no longer have the need for childish things. ” “ i want your love in its purest form. ” “ i want you. ” “ you deserve to be someone’s only choice. ” “ we try our hardest to force life into things that must die. ” “ love doesn’t feel pure anymore. ” “ i can’t say that i miss it. ” “ yet somehow we end up in hell. ” “ your heart is stubborn. ” “ your regret will always come at a moment too late. ” “ i’m still trying to forgive myself. ” “ i’m still trying to make peace with all the broken pieces of my past. ” “ it’s the harsh reality of falling in love with the surface. ” “ i should just change my number. ” “ this is my way of forcing you to feel what i felt. ” “ stop engaging with those who can’t afford you. ” “ you’re not okay but you will be. ” “ you either be consistent or become nonexistent. ” “ i’m afraid you won’t be able to comprehend my love. ” “ you have this perception of love that is false. ” “ you loved the idea of something they could never give you. ” “ i won’t be standing where you left me. ” “ i no longer seek closure. ” “ the pain means you’re alive. ” “ you belong to you. ” “ sometimes your soul mate is yourself. ” “ all i saw was pain, scars, and darkness. ”  “ it gets better, just give it time. ” “ you’re in love with how you remember them. ” “ you’re attached to an idea that no longer exists. ” “ no one misses you until you walk away. ” “ you avoid love altogether out of fear of more hurt. ” “ you deserve a break. ” “ to love the wrong person is hell on earth. ” “ your heart is fractured but it’s still valuable. ” “ sometimes nightmares occur while we’re awake. ” “ i’m too loyal to myself to entertain anyone who can’t remain loyal to me. ” “ your past lingered like a rope around your neck. ” “ not everyone you love will stay. ” “ some people only exist as examples of what to avoid. ” “ betrayal makes the heart fragile. ” “ handle yourself with care. ” “ love has always been like winter. ” “ we’re all looking for the same damn thing. ” “ ask yourself why you miss me. ” “ i’ll never let you back in. ” “ sometimes the devil promises us a piece of heaven. ” “ sometimes darkness disguises itself as light. ” “ even good people with big hearts who love hard have their limits. ” “ unhealthy relationships are dead things waiting to be buried. ” “ we fall in love with untrue versions of others. ” “ the path toward peace is filled with chaos. ” “ you can’t help who you love. ” “ but you do decide who has the potential to be loved by you. ” “ there’s something inside you that can’t be found elsewhere. ” “ walking away doesn’t mean you stop caring. ” “ i’d like to be a part of your future. ” “ you won’t let go because you’re waiting for things to change. ” “ i wanted you to come back. ” “ i refuse to be broken. ”

[lethalove-blog1]

venomclaws.

          she  doesn’t  say  anything,        gratitude  something  she  doesn’t  understand  unless  it’s  to  someone  CLOSE.           for  enemies,       acquaintances,      anyone  else,      she  doesn’t  care.        she  offers  a  shrug,       as  if  it’s  no  big  deal     ——-         because  right  now,         it’s  not.        it’s  something  she’s  offered  only  in  hopes  that  she  may  get  the  upper  hand  here.             ❝      everyone  looks  good  in  blood.     ❞                words  fall  a  little  too  easily  from  her  mouth,            head  tilting  up  slightly  to  exemplify  confidence  that’s  usually  only  feigned  with  her.           of  course,             for  her  they  look  the  best  if  they’re  her  own  victim          (        she’s  only  disappointed  she  didn’t  get  here  sooner.            it’s  not  as  fun  to  finish  someone  else’s  job.        )               ❝      ——-       what  happened  to  you  anyway?        who  was  it?    ❞ 

she’s  been  taught  not  to  trust  others,   not  out  here,    away  from  the  safety  of  camp  borders.    all  too  well,     she  knows  how  monsters  possess  the  ability  to  mask  themselves  as  human;     but  then,    she  also  knows  that  humans  doesn’t  have  to  be  underworldly  to  be  monstrous.     either  way,    tracy’s  words  bother  her,     breeding  a  sliver  of  distrust,   even  if  it’s  not  enough  to  bring  her  to  leave.      a  forced  laugh  of  agreement  bubbles  up  from  her  chest,     melodic  even  when  it  isn’t  genuine.      “    you’re  right.     ”      though,    admittedly,     she  has  made  others  bleed  by  her  own  hand,    having  stabbed  a  boy  or  two  throughout  her  life,    but  it  was  never  fatal.    she’s  not  going  to  risk  that  punishment.       “      an  animal  attack.    ”     it’s  far  from  the  truth,    but  no  human  could  leave  the  claw  marks  left  on  mikayla’s  arm,     and  she’s  not  about  to  make  herself  look  insane  by  exposing  her  world;     it’s  easier  to  lie,    even  if  she  has  a  feeling  she  won’t  be  believed.      “     i  took  care  of  it.     it’s  fine.     ”

[lethalove-blog1]

leftoverfear.

❝    hey,     don’t  forget  where  you  are.        anything’s  a  step  up,    ❞        she  teases,        playful  smile  sent  her  way  before  it  turns  more  serious.       ❝     nights  with  you  ARE  good.    ❞        it’s  those  kinds  of  nights  that  make  hayden  forget  about  everything  else  she  must  endure,        because  mikalya  makes  it  all  worth  it.        she’s  the  perfect  distraction  from  it  all     —–     an  ESCAPE.         she  nods,      the  way  the  words  sound  from  her  mouth  all  too  comforting.         ALL  HERS.       a  frown  tugs  at  her  lips  as  she  pulls  away,       heart  suddenly  pounding  against  her  chest  as  she  worries  she’s  done  something  wrong.       she  wants  to  take  a  step  closer,      but  she’s  frozen,       realizing  she’s  still  so  CONFUSED  by  how  this  all  is  to  work       (     they  were  friends  before,        but  friends  don’t  kiss  like  THAT.      )         mouth  drops  as  she  begins  to  speak,       her  own  mind  replaying  her  words  in  her  head  as  if  she  needs  to  clarify  them.       it’s  what  she  WANTS  to  hear,      yet  it  seems  so  strange  to  actually  be  here.           ❝     i  do?    ❞        she  asks,      taking  a  hesitant  step  forward  now  that  her  feet  allow  her.       a  hand  reaches  for  her  waist,     pulling  her  closer  to  her.       she  gulps,      one  hand  moving  to  the  edge  of  her  hairline,       fingertips  slowly  tracing  it.         ❝    —–    tell  me  more,    ❞       she  whispers,     eyes  locking  with  hers.

nights  with  her  could  be  better  if  only  mikayla  weren’t  so  paranoid  about  her  feelings;    she  knows  her  father  isn’t  anywhere  around,    that  he  hasn’t  been  for  years,    but  all  she  can  remember,    other  than  the  feeling  of  his  fists,    is  the  look  of  disgust  on  his  face  whenever  he  began  to  suspect  she  wasn’t  as  interested  in  his  friends’  sons  as  he  wanted  her  to  be.     even  if  she  hates  him  now,     she’d  spent  her  entire  childhood  so  starved  for  his  acceptance  that  the  thought  of  him  finding  her  and  looking  at  her  like  that  again  makes  her  uneasy.    

—— but  he’s  not  here,    and  he’s  never  cared  enough  to  look  for  her,    so  why  would  that  change  now?     fear  still  closes  a  fist  around  her  heart,     but  she  tries  to  fight  past  it,     and  for  a  moment,    the  look  on  hayden’s  face  makes  it  worth  it.     she’d  known  that  her  feelings  weren’t  unrequited,    blind  to  her  own  feelings  but  never  someone  else’s,    but  she  still  feels  a  certain  rush  of  relief  when  hayden  pulls  her  closer.      “      you  make  me  nervous,    ”      she  admits,    voice  dazed  from  her  touch;     for  once,    she  doesn’t  look  around  to  make  sure  nobody’s  watching,    because  she  doesn’t  care.      “       —— which  is,    like   .  .  .     annoying  because  confidence  is  supposed  to  be  my  thing  but ——       it’s  a  good  nervous.     ”      even  if  she  isn’t  used  to  it,     it’s  relieving  to  finally  feel  something  for  someone  else,     to  realize  that  she  isn’t  numb  to  romance  after  all.      “      you’re  all  i  think  about.    especially  after  last  night.     ”

[lethalove-blog1]

like this for a starter.   mutuals only  /  lengths  will  vary.    possibly  lyric - based.   who knows.

[lethalove-blog1]

LITERATURE  QUIZZES:     repost  with  your  muse’s  results  for  the  following  quizzes.

HOMERIC  EPITHET.       You are swift-footed Mikayla. This is the same epithet Homer used to describe Achilles roughly eight thousand times over the course of The Iliad and even a few times in The Odyssey. (You’ll remember “swift-footed” Achilles as that guy who took an arrow to the ankle during the Trojan War and died. Good luck with that.)

FATAL  FLAW.     You’re in love with the idea of a person. You’ve got a crush, but the other person is simply incapable of living up to your expectations. You love the version of them that you’ve created in your mind, and not the person they really are. Yikes. You’re going to Gatsby this up so hard. You’re going to wind up dead in a pool. Two other people will also die. Everyone will be disillusioned with the American Dream. It’s a messy situation all around

GREEK  MYTHOLOGY  DEATH.       You got Killed by a wild boar that was sent by one of the gods. See, here’s the thing—someone sent that wild boar. It might have been Artemis, because she was jealous of your skill with a bow and arrow; it might have been Ares, who hated you; or it might have been Apollo, because your girlfriend blinded his son. There’s really no telling. You made enemies. This is just what happens when you’re too beautiful to even exist. Either way, you got mauled by a pig and are now dead, but you died in Aphrodite’s arms as she wept, so at least you've got that going for you.

TAGGED  BY:    @venomclaws    /      TAGGING:    everyone... i don’t know.

[lethalove-blog1]

leftoverfear.

isn’t  it  obvious?         WITH  HER.        just  her,         not  rude  clients,       not  slimy  bosses,       just  the  one  girl  she  always  wants  to  occupy  her  time  with.        even  if  she’s  always  more  nervous  than  ever  when  she’s  alone  with  her,        she’ll  take  that  over  ever  having  to  fight  for  her  attention  from  anyone  else.          ❝      with  you  would  be  alright,     ❞           she  jokes,         but  there’s  a  small  crack  in  her  voice  that  indicates  it’s  her  attempt  at  trying  to  be  CALM   about  it  all.         brows  raise,       a  giggle  quickly  falling  from  her  lips.         ❝    REALLY  desperate,    ❞          she  teases.        ❝     but  lucky  for  you,         i  am  NOT  making  you  buy  my  friendship.         i’m  all  yours.     ❞             of  course,       she  wants  that     ‘   friendship    ‘      to  be  an  understatement.          she  takes  a  sharp  breath  in,         hoping  this  may  be  the  time  mikayla  finally  comes  out  with  it           (       she’s  been  waiting  on  HER,        hoping  that  she’s  not  the  one  who  has  to  be  vulnerable  in  front  of  the  other.         )           a  laugh  quickly  slips  from  her  mouth,          almost  FORCED,        yet  relieved  all  at  once  by  what  she  says  instead.           ❝     ——      RIGHT,        you.         well   ——    no  one  in  there  is  really  worth  wasting  your  time  with  anyway.         believe  me,       even  the  ones  who  tip  well  are  scum.          it’s  not  bad  in  there  tonight,       i’ll   just     ——-      take  my  time  out  here,     ❞             she  insists.           ❝     with  you.    ❞

she  notices  it,    the  crack  in  hayden’s  voice,    the  attempts  to  stay  calm,   and  as  much  as  she  wishes  she  could  brush  it  off,    she  can’t.     not  when  she  still  remembers  the  way  hayden’s  lips  felt,    her  touch  burned  into  her  skin  in  a  way  she’s  entirely  unfamiliar  with.      “      i’ve  been  told  nights  spent  with  me  are  amazing.    phenomenal,   actually.    ”     not  that  any  boy’s  spent  an  entire  night  with  her,    given  that  she  gets  bored  before  it  gets  too  far,     leaving  them  alone  at  the  end,    without  any  sort  of  satisfaction;     that’s  not  the  point.      “     all  mine,      ”      she  reiterates,    voice  slow  and  breathless,    heart  already  accelerating  within  her  chest.     her  hand  is  pulled  back  from  hayden’s,    not  because  she’s  uncomfortable,     but  because  she’s  getting  nervous.     mikayla  turns  away,    wiping  sweat  off  her  palm,   her  breath  growing  shaky.     it’s  not  like  her  to  get  so  nervous,    being  the  girl  that’s  always  bleeding  confidence,    but  her  feelings  are  getting  the  best  of  her.    for  so  long,    she’s  tried  to  force  them  down,   ignore  them,    but  considering  all  the  things  she  faces  daily,    she  realizes  it’s  irrational  to  be  afraid  of  her  own  emotions.       “      it’s  not  just  the  guys  in  there.     it’s  guys  in  general.     i  don’t ——      i  don’t  think  they  do  it  for  me.      but,   um   . . .     ”         tentatively,    she  turns  back  to  the  other,     hands  trembling.       “     you  do.     ”

[lethalove-blog1]

twinveined.

‘    i     .   .   .    ’      brows  furrow  for  a  moment  ,  nervous  eyes  glancing  down  as  heat  rises  in  her  cheeks.  did  she  not  hear  her  ,  or  was  she  buying  time  ?  it  takes  that  final  question  for  her  to  look  back  up.      ‘    n - no  ,  i’ve  never  really  kissed  anyone  before.    ’      is  that  weird  ?  is  that  the  wrong  thing  to  say  ?  she’s  immediately  yelling  in  her  head  at  her  lack  of  social  skills.  that’s  what  happens  when  you’re  not  allowed  out  of  the  house  for  sixteen  years.      ‘    if  you  don’t  want  to  ,  that’s  okay  !  i  just     .   .   .     i  was  curious.    ’

she’s  cute,    cute  enough  that  mikayla  will  likely  hate  herself  if  she  passes  up  the  opportunity;    though  she  tells  herself  it’s  only  because  she  wants  to  help,    because  nobody  should  have  to  go  without  their  first  kiss  for  so  long,    there’s  a  part  of  her  that  feels  a  sort  of  excitement  at  the  thought  of  kissing  the  other,    a  feeling  she  doesn’t  get  with  the  type  of  people  she  normally  finds  herself  with.      “     i’m  flattered  that  you  want  me  to  be  your  first.    ”     a  glance  is  cast  around,    making  sure  that  there’s  nobody  else,    before  a  step  is  taken  closer,    gaze  dropping  to  ashlyn’s  mouth.      “     go  ahead.    kiss  me.     ”

[lethalove-blog1]

leftoverfear.

❝      ——-       sure.         and  those  are  the  kinds  of  people  that  i  FIND.    ❞            more  often  that  not,             they  were  the  ones  people  held  grudges  against  and  needed  to  find  to  deal  with.           ❝       i’ve  made  a  career  out  of  this,         mikayla.           i’ve  got  no  reason  to  slack  off.      ❞             she  did  it  for  the  money,            but  it  had  come  to  a  point  where  she  enjoyed  it           (        it  was  rewarding,          in  some  way.       )              she  scoffs,           head  tilting  back.              ❝        they  won’t  be  finding  out  HOW.           at  least,          not  that  i’m  involved.   ❞                 but  if  mikayla  wanted  to  take  responsibility,           she  would  let  her      ——–           even  if  it  didn’t  seem  in  her  best  interest.              she’s   not  surprised  that  she’s  asking  HOW,            not  after  she  has  already  been  so  eager  to   hear  of  his  death.               and  because  she  LIKES  mikayla            (         after  hearing  what  she  wanted  her  to  do,           she  felt  an  urge  to  PROTECT  her,           which  was  exactly  why  it  was  so  easy  to  complete  the  mission.            )              ❝      ——–       gun  shot  to  the  right  thigh  to  take  him  down,          knife  to  the  throat  to  shut  him  up  before  i  let  him  bleed  out.            seemed  like  you  may  want  it  that  way.       ❞ 

there’s  a  part  of  her  that’s  tempted  to  ask  how  she  even  got  into  this  business,       but  mikayla’s  knows  enough  to  realize  that  might  not  be  the  best  idea.        it  doesn’t  matter  at  the  end  of  the  day;       all  that  matters  is  that  her  father’s  dead,       so  she  no  longer  has  to  worry  that  he  might  find  her  again.         she  doesn’t  have  to  worry  that  her  feelings  might  get  her  killed.       mikayla’s  almost  childishly  excited  to  hear  about  her  father’s  death,       to  the  point  it’s  almost  concerning;        but  after  all  the  pain  he’s  caused  her,        there’s  no  remorse  left,        even  if  he  is  supposed  to  be  her  family.        he  never  cared  about  that  she  was  his  daughter,       so  why  care  that  he’s  her  father?        “          yeah.     that’s  what  he  deserved.       ”        her  brows  furrow,      a  sudden  hesitation  as  she  considers  how  it  might  make  her  look.          “       but  like,      just  so  you  know,        i’m  not...     a  bad  person.       i’m  not  a  very  good  person,       but ——–          i  wouldn’t  have  hired  you  if  he  didn’t  deserve  what  he  got.        ”         she  knows  she  likely  doesn’t  have  to  justify  herself  to  someone  that  kills  for  a  living,       but  she  cares  about  what  braeden  thinks  of  her.        and  even  if  mikayla  has  broken  others’  bones  before,        she’s  never  taken  a  human  life;       and  even  if  it’s  tempting  at  times,       she’d  prefer  to  keep  her  hands  free  of  blood.        they’re  prettier  that  way.

[lethalove-blog1]

also reminder that mikayla’s dad never loved her and she’s never met her mom :)

[lethalove-blog1]

leftoverfear.

❝   i’d  never  reduce  you  to  just  that.      and  i  don’t  play  those  games  anyway.     there’s  a  small  list  of  people  who  i’m  willing  to  sneak  into  the  theater  for  free.   ❞       her  closest  friends,     and  those  she’s  interested  in.     still,      she  hasn’t  made  her  mind  up  about  mikayla,     but  she  can’t  help  but  be  intrigued.      the  girl  is  beautiful  and  confident,     yet  not  in  a  way  that  makes  it  difficult  to  speak  to  her      (     she  feels  comfortable  with  her  rather  than  intimidated  or  ANNOYED  like  many  other  beautiful,     confident  women.    )       ❝    simple  solution  to  that,   ❞      she  says,     holding  a  finger  up.        ❝   don’t  date  boys,   ❞       she  speaks  in  an  honest  tone,    a   teasing  grin  on  her  lips.      though,     it’s  true   —-   she’s  found  herself  much  happier  ever  since  coming  out  with  her  sexuality.      it’s  not  an  attempt  to  hit  on  her  or  hint  at  anything,     it’s  just  audrey  speaking  the  truth  from  her  own  perspective     —–    though,     she  wouldn’t  mind  if  the  advice  is  taken  seriously,     especially  if  it  works  out  in  HER  favor.      ❝   —–    dude,   ❞        she  starts,     holding  a  cautious  hand  up.       ❝   i  was  just  joking.       i’m  not   —    ❞      she  cuts  herself  off,     laughing  instead.      ❝    i mean,       no,    i’m  not  joking  about  the  fact  that  you  deserve  to  be  treated  a  lot  better  than  whatever  way  these   douchebags   are  treating  you,      but   —–   y’know,     the  other  stuff.     ❞ 

“        please  tell  me  i’m  at  the  top  of  the  list.        ”      always  seeking  validation  even  when  she  doesn’t  necessarily  need  it,      as  if  it  might  make  up  for  all  that  she  lacked  in  her  childhood.        (      and  maybe  she  likes  the  thought  that  audrey  might  be  interested  in  her.      )       she  sighs  as  though  the  concept  of  not  dating  boys  is  difficult,       even  if  it’s  the  very  opposite;      if  mikayla  were  to  stop  spending  her  time  with  boys,        she  won’t  care  at  all,       given  that  she  never  actually  enjoys  herself  unless  they’re  showering  her  with  compliments.      and  even  then,       it’s  only  for  her  ego,     nothing  else.          “       who  else  would  i  date?       ”         she  knows  the  answer,      but  she’s  not  far  along  enough  to  accept  it  to  herself.       a  feigned  pout  settles  on  her  lips,       one  she’d  like  to  pretend  is  there  only  out  of  attempt  to  joke  with  the  other,       but  she’s  not  so  sure  anymore.       “       so  you  don’t  want  to  get  between  my  legs?       ——– that’s  your  loss.      they’re  nice  legs.      ”