Let My Spirit Fly @letmyspirit-fly - Tumblr Blog

You know what I missed? Dancing in the rain with you.

Cheers to those sleepless night with my friends, where we talked and walked around the city, trying to get lost… but somehow finding ourselves.

anxietyproblem

madisen

Life is composed of open ends, but I feel like it’s closing in on me. Somehow, I have turned mine into an ongoing manhunt of myself, in which discomfort and unlikely tragedy chases me throughout all hours of the day. It never catches me, and yet, shallow breath catches in my throat, my tonsils will likely swell like raw dough in the oven, no one will be there to kiss me goodbye. So I weep. I pace the wooden floor. I tear at my own skin like unbalanced kittens on a scratching post. Wasn’t this all supposed to be beautiful. Wasn’t I supposed to be free. Didn’t I promise myself that I’d never get stuck. I wanted to be good at being alone. I wanted to be the sun. Instead, I hide from myself. I wish I could remember what certainty tastes like. But I am afraid of turning red. Or blue. Or bitter. Really, I am afraid of it all. Of never crawling out of the nightmare. Of dying before I tell the truth. Of considering who I might have been had I not decided I was fated to dissolve without the guiding hands of someone who surely knows better.

So numb all I wanna do is scream.