Hey so I'm 19 and in University and I haven't done any actual math in like two years now but growing up I struggled with basically all the sings of dyscalculia. I couldn't properly catch balls bcs my head couldn't figure out the distance. Math in general was an impossible task for me. I couldn't read the clock until I was thirteen, I can't remember birthdays, adresses, dates and times. I would figure out a math problem one minute and totally forget the whole process the next. 1/?
I hadnāt even heard of the concept of dyscalculia until yesterday so I basically grew up thinking Iām somehow dumber than anyone else, even though I was a āgifted kidā in other areas like language and music. So when I read about it yesterday I felt like suddenly it all made sense and I got really emotional. I talked about it with my mum and she was like, well, duh?! She had known all this time but knowing that there was no help programm like for dyslexia she thought it wouldnāt change 2/?
anything and just made me work twice as hard. She not being the most understanding and patient person made me feel like it was my fault when I forgot at which step I was mid-equation. I know she meant well and this is just her style of education but it really had a huge effect on my sense of self worth. Being ashamed all the time for forgetting things, not being able to tell the time and underperforming at math. When I found out I almost cried bcs I feel like knowing this might have 3/?Ā
Ā helped me accept my weaknesses instead of feeling like Iām just stupid all the time. And I still struggle with both numbers and the effect not knowing had on my self worth all the time. I kinda feel betrayed for my self worth? Idk this got a lot longer than I planned and I just wanted to share my feelings with people who can relate, bcs my family canāt and they think Iām irrational for wanting to know whatās going on with my brain 4/4Ā
Response: you are totally not irrational for wanting to understand more about your brain, its exactly why I started this blog when I was 15.Ā I dont agree with everything your mom did, but i went to one of the most supportive highschools I could have dreamed of and I still struggled with the feelings you are. She isnt wrong though, there isnt a lot of support offered to people with dyscalculia, and the support I was given actually made things worse. like those Kumon and Mathnasium places
knowing may have helped you accept yourself in the past, or it may not have changed anything. there isnt any way of knowing now. now that you do know its important to try to work to accept yourself for who you are. this goes for people without disabilities too, being weaker than other people in some areas does not mean you are dumber than them, or that you dont work as hard as they do. people naturally have different strengths and weaknesses school tends to amplify them because of the way they are structured and grading works.Ā Ā
you are in University, you might want to find out if your school has a disabilities services office and go meet with a counselorĀ find out if you want to get tested and officially diagnosed. I personally find it really helpful to be able to look through the diagnoses papers because it explains a lot about how my brain functions, both strengths and weaknesses. its really validating. it doesnt just put a stamp that saysĀ ādyscalculiaā they really look at how your brain works.
you arent alone in this, even with my diagnoses I find myself having to remind myself that its not my fault im not doing better. you can always message this blog (sorry for the delayed reply, I have had the flu) as a 20yr old in University I can relate to a lot of stuff you may be facing at school, and there are followers of all ages who im sure will have things to add and would love to be there for you.Ā