unloveable

[lettdown]

hi. i'm E. she/they.

this is a safe space where i share my thoughts around trauma, healing (trying to, at least), ocd, autism and more.

sometimes i write poetry which can be found under this tag: my poetry.

i try my best to tag any posts that may be triggering - please stay safe and take care of yourself.

[lettdown]

my father’s hands were supposed to guide me,

point me in the right direction,

towards safety.

they were supposed to hoist me up

over his shoulders,

push me on old rusty swing sets,

hold on to me when i learnt

to ride a bike.

they were supposed to wipe my tears

when i fell over,

press a bandaid over my scuffed knee,

hold me and tell me,

“you’re okay.”

my fathers hands touched me in all the wrong places.

they did not

guide me to safety.

they did not

take care of me.

they pushed open my bedroom door at night,

and muffled my cries.

[foxlungz]

The way I watched my adolescent years slip through my fingers due to mental illnesses and there was nothing I could do to stop it fucking hurts man

[1anonyymous1]

me remembering when i was nice when i should have killed them

[traumasurvivors]

It’s okay to be angry about having to heal from things that others did to you. It’s okay to be angry about having to spend time healing.

While a lot of people say you need to deal with the hand you’re dealt, and that’s true, it’s also okay to take a minute and have feelings about what you’ve been dealt.

It isn’t fair. And it’s okay to acknowledge and feel that.

[brokensou197]

Sometimes I imagine myself alone in my bedroom with no one around, completely dark, laying in bed and overdosing on sleeping pills, then gently falling asleep forever. My body going limp and cold as my heart slows down and eventually stops, and just feeling at peace.

[my-funked-up-life]

That's a fact

[giraffeskull]

what is a teenage girl if not horrors beyond human comprehension in a vessel that has to learn trigonometry

[monokoh]

[inanotherunivrse]

in another universe, i worked on myself so i wasn’t a broken person so that i was able to give you the love you deserved. i was too broken that no matter what my love for you was never going to be enough. i couldn’t possibly give you the things you wanted or deserved, because i, myself, didn’t have much to give

[l0sing-mymind]

i wish the things that happened to me never happened

6/12/23

[weltenwellen]

Franny Choi, from "Bird Watching"

[traumariz]

i don’t want to be like you

[heartshop]

[anxietyproblem]

[lorart-jpg]

A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort.

[missinyouiskillingme]

The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging and you have to act like you don't care at all.