[asoul-onfire]

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭2:20‬ ‭KJV‬‬

[gentle-fluidity]

I’ve came to the realization that i’m just a person who feels things heavier than others, there’s a lot of depth to me, and not everyone is going to understand me but that’s okay.

[compariisonkills]

“Just always be the better person. And make your intentions pure. What and who you are is what you’ll attract, what you’ll maintain. Pain is inevitable and it will always exist, but if you focus on understanding what you are feeling and why you are feeling it, you will overcome it.”

— Sammie Forchielli

[juansendizon]

[letthisbemytestimony]

This is my beautiful mother, Wihelmina. The cutie she’s holding is my now, 8 year old nephew, he is still as cute as a button.

On the 29th of August 2014, my mother went to be with the Lord, who she greatly admired. She fought a tough fight with stage four liver cancer. All the while she was so strong in her faith and became content with going home to her Father in heaven.

But as much as she loved the Lord, she also loved her children, grandchild, and family. Deep down, I know that she wanted to be here. She wanted to see us grow up and reap all that she sewed for us. My mother wanted to watch us get married, have children, and be there every step of the way. That’s just who she was, a lover and supporter.

I believe that to be a huge root in my greif. Her wanting to be here, her deserving to be here, but being taken away far too soon.

I needed her at my wedding, helping me put on my beautiful white gown. I needed her holding my hand as I pushed out my first child that would some day learn so much about her. I needed her to celebrate her birthdays with me.

As crazy as it sounds, I needed her to help me cope with her own death. What can I do without my mother?

[letthisbemytestimony]

Ive created this blog to somehow find an outlet of all of the emotions that I battle with. The biggest being grief and sorrow, I am absorbed by these emotions when recalling the life of my mother. Maybe some will read this and find it relatable. If no one reads this, I will still be content. I am exploring avenues of expressions for grief and the need for someone who will never physically return to me. I am learning how to live everyday as a new person than I was before my mother deceased.

Let this be my testimony, let me one day rise from my sorrow and greif. Let it become the wind in my sails, the force behind my fight, and the lit path for my future.