“Find me now. Before someone else does.”
— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

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@lettinglifehappen
“Find me now. Before someone else does.”
— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84
“August yields a certain clarity. I don’t know if it’s because by this point in the summer, our hands have been stained far too many times with watermelon juice or if it’s that our mosquito bites are becoming less noticeable. I don’t know if it’s because the days feel slightly shorter or if it’s how that used to scare me, but not as much anymore. People oftentimes say that August is the Sunday of summer. And although that might be true, I think the lull of the summertime and the anticipation for the fall bring about this beautiful feeling. It’s as if every single day is golden hour–you try to treasure it all, holding on for your dear life, hoping that the innocence and calmness never fade away. And maybe August is so wonderful to me because it feels like that one last final push. There are only so many days left before the textbooks and late nights huddled over your desk become a reality. August is the beginning of the end, the last time to do something crazy, to let go, to bask in the summer sun. Rise with the August sun and set with it too. Appreciate the nighttime, dance in the warm weather. Sing at the top of your lungs when you’re driving in your car and roll all the windows down. Let the breeze mess up your hair and try not to fix it. Most importantly, breathe in, breathe out, and make August your own.”
— az. / the eighth month. (via ambuhr)
Oh man. Looking at you makes me stupid. I get obsessed with the smallest things. How you look while examining your fingernails. When you stretch, the curve of your neck. The slip of your spine. How wonderful. How enchanting.
You look up. Wrinkle your nose. “Why are you staring?”
I get wordless. All tangled heat and longing. I wanna build a universe where we never get out of bed. I wanna crawl into your arms like ivy, catch your laughter from the air and spin it into a blanket. You make me feel like I’m moss on a tree which is to say you make me feel like I’m home and where I’m supposed to be. Around you I trap sunlight. I want to tell you the inside of the forest you planted in me.
Open my mouth. “You’re a nerd.”
Classy.
Hey, there are a ton of alternate universes where you and I never met each other, and I’m really glad I got to love you in this one.
im always in a soft romantic mood
The boy is gone, somehow you are as lost as you thought you would be. Somewhere inside, the bear is growling for you. The boy is gone and so are you. Lost somewhere together in the bleak grey fog of New York City. How you walked together and watched the artwork falling in love with the painting next door. Instead, you think of the sunlight unfurling in your belly, how you were together, the quietness of love hand in hand. The boy is gone but you are not. Instead, the quiet thunder of yourself, how you have survived each one and come out at the end, blazing.
i always say words will ruin me, because it’s true. i read other people’s words and often find myself getting overwhelmed and i just have a lot of feelings. it’s why i avoided tumblr for a while, i tried to detach myself from words that hurt and those that remind me of a time from the past. and now i’m back and reading and diving into the words and i realize why i left. words break me but they are also what helps to heal me, its complicated. but i just know that i need to dive more into reading other people’s work and also for me to once again get back to writing.
“i pray for him every night, for God to bless him, protect him, bring him home at night safely & to always guide him even if we’re not meant to be.”
not to sound like a soft bitch but i’m really in the mood to fall asleep in someone’s arms
You ever see a pretty dress, a well-organised notebook, a peculiar balcony or read one line of poetry and get the overwhelming urge to reinvent yourself
Love in 2019.
Aries: in 2019, someone is going to become your muse. you’re going to realize that you could not spend your life without this person. they’ve been in your life for a long time, though. you just haven’t seen it. you’re going to have this hit you very hard and fast, but soon it’s going to blossom into something beautiful.
Taurus: in 2019, you have to let go of what is holding you back in order to find love. let go of the person that keeps giving you false hope so that you can finally have what you’ve been waiting for. you’re deserving of it. stop convincing yourself that someone is perfect for you if they don’t want to put in the same amount of effort as you do. learn to only give love to people who are deserving of your energy.
Gemini: in 2019, you are going to meet someone completely new. at first, you might actually hate them for some psychological reason that you can’t conceptualize. but, you’ll find that this person has the same humor and thoughts as you. you’ll end up being mesmerized by them and soon you’ll be spending every waking moment thinking about them or being with them.
Cancer: in 2019, at first you may have many questions when it comes to love. you might have a few flings or you might be embracing the single life. but, towards the middle of this year someone will come and brighten up your world. you are going to fall in love, deeper than you ever have. romance will ignite a fire within you and you’ll find your heart dancing to the song that it brings.
Leo: in 2019, your love life is going to become stable. whether you’re in a relationship now or not, by the end of this year you will have something consistent. this might seem surprising, because maybe you were always scared of the thought of commitment or you think maybe you’ll always get bored, but that’s not the case. the person coming along this year will be everything you didn’t know you needed.
Virgo: in 2019, love is going to come to you when you’re not even thinking about it. you’re often so busy that someone being interested in you is very hard to notice. but the love coming to you is going to be hard to ignore. you’ll finally be admired in a way that helps you to keep your independence while also giving you everything you need.
Libra: in 2019, love is going to come to you in many forms. maybe in a relationship, but also in friendships, a career, or just in day to day life. you’ll begin to love your life and inspire the right things to come to you. when I see you this year, I picture you filled with so much love that you are about to burst. it could be in any way you choose to see it.
Scorpio: in 2019, you will learn to love yourself before you love anyone else. that may not be what you want to hear, but listen. until you are able to believe in yourself and that you are okay alone, the purest form of romance will not come your way. but you will figure it out this year, and you will find love by the end. you just have to focus on yourself first.
Sagittarius: in 2019, you’re going to find a love that brings your walls down. it could already be in your life, but you just haven’t let yourself be vulnerable quite yet. this year is your year of letting yourself be happy and in love. all the secrets and things you’ve kept in for years are going to come pouring out.
Capricorn: in 2019, you’re going to find a best friend. at first, this friendship will seem nothing but innocent, you’ll crack jokes and talk to each other about life. after a while though, you’ll gain feelings for them and be thinking about them quite a lot. it’ll be a very big surprise to you, but you’re going to find that falling in love with your best friend is the best way that things could’ve gone.
Aquarius: in 2019, love is on the horizon. whatever love you have in your life right now, is going to rise to lengths you’ve never seen it be. additionally, there will be people entering your life that you never knew you needed. life will seem way more peaceful and hopeful with them around. you will end up having many people around you who have pure and great intentions.
Pisces: in 2019, you’ll stop fearing love. you will let it come to you, I suspect it will be earlier in the year. and when it comes, you will have the deepest talks that you’ve been seeking. you’ll have someone want to learn about you just as you want to learn about them. it will be pure, it will be happy, and it won’t be as scary as you might’ve thought. this love will feel safe.
2019
Aries: you’re about to find yourself. it’s about to be hard, scary, and it almost might seem unbearable. you’re going to reach new highs that you’ve never thought you would, and maybe some new lows that will rock you. but, you’re about to find positivity within all the moments that you have. you’re about to understand yourself and your limits more than ever. you’re going to realize that all the strength you’ve ever needed was always inside of you. all of it was fucking worth it, you’re going to feel all of this.
Taurus: you are going to be in a huge transition period this year. you’re going to find immense change in your own world. it might scare you to your core, but it’s exactly what you needed. new things and new people and a new life. most of all, a totally new perspective. you’re going to open your eyes to so many things and you’re going to realize that things weren’t what you always thought they were… they’re better.
Gemini: you are about to feel free. you’re about to go through a year of letting go. you’re going to let go of people who caused you pain in the past, you’re going to let go of shit that messed you up. you’re going to realize that moving forward is the best thing you can do for yourself. you’ll find things that you enjoy doing again this year. you are going to get out of that fog, but don’t completely cross out what brought you here. it’s still a part of you.
Cancer: what a curse it is, to feel so very deeply. oh, but it is also a blessing. this year is going to give you many awakenings. you’re going to use your empathy to your advantage, you’re going to make a change in many peoples lives. seeing someone so authentic like you, gives other people hope that they can open up too, just like you. you’re going to use the things you find the most unappealing about yourself to help other people. it may seem small to you when it happens, but it’s huge. this, for you, is going to be very fulfilling. don’t forget yourself in the process, but remember that what you’re doing is important.
Leo: in 2018, you were lost. you might’ve hit your breaking point and you might’ve thought there was nothing left in you. however, you were just getting started. this year, you will find your fire again. you’ll stand up taller than you ever have and you’ll roar louder than ever. this year, you’re going to learn that you are stronger than you ever believed yourself to be. you’re going to find your confidence again, you’re going to take on this life thing on your own and make it your absolute bitch. the people who left, don’t matter. you’re not going to let them affect you any longer. you’re going to figure out who was always meant to be by your side.
Virgo: this year, positivity is going to be your best friend. you’re so used to things going wrong or not going your way, that you’ve conditioned yourself to think about the worst possible outcomes. but, what if thinking differently was actually the key to everything? you have the power to change your own mindset, and this year, whether you believe it or not, it’s going to happen. you’re going to be so caught up in living life and being busy that suddenly you’ll realize that you aren’t so afraid of being happy anymore. you will flourish, you will get the things you want. all you have to do is keep on believing.
Libra: your worth is greater and bigger than what you think. this year, you’re going to realize this. at some point, you’re going to look at your life and how you let people take advantage of you and you’re finally going to say “no more.” you are wonderful and capable and worthy of all the things you want. you just have to see it for yourself, you have to see that your life should not be lived based on making people happy that wouldn’t do the same for you. it’s going to be an awakening for you, but it’s going to be beautiful.
Scorpio: you are in the midst of chaos right now. you’re thinking that life is always going to be this whirlwind of emotions and that nothing will ever settle down. this year, you’ll find your safe place. the one you can run to when things are going bad. whether that place be an actual place, a hobby, or even a person. it’s going to bring you peace like you’ve never felt before. remember to hold onto it. you’re going to finally let go of that wall you’ve been holding up forever, don’t be alarmed when it comes crashing down. it’s going to be natural.
Sagittarius: what a year you’re going to have. first and most importantly, pure love is in store. this doesn’t have to mean romantic love, but it sure is a possibility. you’ve been holding back for quite some time when it comes to opening up your heart, but thats going to change now. secondly, when you find this love, you’re going to be faced with your natural instinct, which is to run. when this happens, don’t run. you’ll be missing out on a happiness that you haven’t felt before. learning to open up is one of the most important lessons you’ll learn in this life, you have to let it come.
Capricorn: this year, you’re going to end cutting out people and things that don’t make you happy. this is pure self care and the first step to putting yourself first. you tend to not put your needs first too often. you’re no longer going to let everyone walk all over you. you do everything for other people, and this year will be your selfish year. when you find yourself feeling bad about it, don’t. this is the start of something that always needed to happen, and you’ll find yourself much more peaceful if you run with it.
Aquarius: who you are now, might be a stranger by the end of 2019. but doesn’t it always go that way? maybe, but it’s going to be different from what you imagine. you’re going to become stable in who you are. you’re going to suddenly have an understanding of your place in the world, perhaps you might find your purpose. it’s going to come so fast and naturally, that you’re going to question what your world was before this reason for living came along. remember that this is happening for a reason, you are meant to do great things and you’re about to see what all of this means.
Pisces: joy is coming. you’ve had a rough past few years, but this year you’re going to have new beginnings and you’re going to find a new sense of self. you’re going to learn that all the bad things had to happen in order to get to where you are now. don’t try to change the past anymore, or question why certain things had to happen. just focus on here and now because before you know it all of the years are going to pass by. this year is going to be the year that you end up finding the happiness you only felt years ago. enjoy it.
“the way you threw back your head after i made a bad joke, those few seconds when you came undone, those laugh lines, that distinctive but charming gap in your teeth— it made me want to make you smile until the end of time.”
— Noor Shirazie
“The sad truth is the truth is sad.”
— Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital (via coral)
Have i moved on? Yes. Do i still care about you? Always.
“more mornings / more unapologies / more being unafraid of the word “love” / more being unafraid of the word “more” / more everything / everything / everything”
— Lydia Havens, from “Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe’s last words were “more light””, so I’m pretty sure mine will be,” published in Ink & Nebula
“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”
— Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (via amortizing)