The Pleasure Is Yours @lettmydemonsfly - Tumblr Blog

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the-suburb-vibes

gang gang

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fr

caram3lk1ng

Gotta fake it till you make it👌🏽💯

I think as a little girl my grandma always had a good way of reading me.

As a teenager I hated her for it. As a young adult we fought over a lot of things all the time.

But today my grandma took one look at me and asked me what was wrong

And if she only knew the internal battles I’ve been fighting on the daily

That ever since her and my grandpa left I’ve felt more and more out of control

When I start to feel like this

I start to isolate. I feel an urge to isolate and heal.

I’m at a point in my life where so many new things are happening to me and for me. And I should ecstatic but all I feel is empty. Emptiness about things that will be no more.

Moments that I will never experience again.

And this has been weighing very heavily on me for a few days.

Idk how to make the changes to become better.

I honestly have no idea where to start. But I want to get out of this dark cloud I’m under

I wanna sing in the shower again

I want to feel whole again.

rontieremodeled-deactivated2023

I’m currently in the process of rebranding my entire life. What you see right now is nothing compared to the life that I am getting ready to manifest.

virgomoon-deactivated20240514

LIZZO Truth Hurts (2017)

shortycito-deactivated20211022

Your diet is not only what you eat. It’s what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, & the people you hang around. Be mindful of the things you put into your body. Emotionally, Spiritually and Physically.

rainekeiko

all you really need is some eyelashes and lip gloss.

i’m screaming???

ME

Do i measure my self worth by my achievements and ability to handle more then i can chew

who are you without outside influences

i feel like I'm sinking and i hate telling you this because it doesn't just make me look weak. it proves that i've handled things wrong at times with you and I haven't been the perfect and almighty person I claim to be. I'm fucking flawed. And I'm sorry for ever treating you how my mom and grandmother treated me. I am unpacking years and years of emotional and verbal abuse. I think I need to disappear for a while. I need space to figure out who I am without outside influences. Without my family, friends, society and the media telling me who the fuck I should be. I need fucking space. I need to get away from it all. so that’s what I’m doing. I don’t know when I’ll be back or be around again. When I’m ready to leave this will be my good bye.

I’ve been trying. I’ve been the punching bag. The reason for all your pain. But I’m so drained.

I’ve been trying to make you love me.

But I am so tired.

You need help.

I need you to get help.

Not for me. i need to leave.

As a child I felt like i was the bad guy in everything. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. I feel like I never knew which side to be on.

I’m so fucking damaged.

He fucked you up. He hurt you a lot. I get that.

But I was just a kid. All i wanted to do was love you. You manipulated me. You verbally abused me. You’re the toxic person in my life.

And I am 23 now. I’m not a little girl hoping to be perfect for you.

I am a fed up, tired of the bull shit, tired of you manipulating me.

So I’m leaving and I’m not looking back.

I’m going to start a new family

And I’m going to learn from all of your mistakes.

I will be a better grandmother

I will be a better mother.

I will be the mother that I needed.

imma just chill and let him do him.... like at the end of the day I’m never going to stop working towards my goals no matter how many obstacles I face. Whether or not he wants to meet me on my level is up to him. These aren’t my hurdles to jump and I got my own goals to focus on

wnq-quotes

The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole life fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

F.Scott Fitzgerald

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zaynsmiles-deactivated20190301

no one tells you that Adulthood is faking it til you make it and finding joy in things like cleaning out your closet or managing to buy candles 50% off

I’m fighting very hard to not apply for jobs for my significant other.... It’s just frustrating watching someone who could very well apply themselves and take a leap and try rather then someone who’s just sits and says the jobs they don’t want while not applying for the jobs they do want.

A friend told me not to do it. That I’m babying this nigga. I’m doing things even his parents wouldn’t do for him.

But I’m trying to upgrade our whole lives. The agreement was once he graduated he would start looking for work and I wouldn’t have to work as much and would be able to put more focus on school. But here we are and here I am doing school work, working 40+ hours a week, prepping for my new job all while finding time to apply for jobs for him.

It’s frustrating