Lexi Morgan

Alexandria Morgan. 23. ER Intern. Currently completing her first ER rotation. Originally from Boston, recently moved to princeton for pre-med program. Doesn't have many friends, due to her timid and shy demeanor.

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Livian had held her friend tight while the final moments of the man’s attack played out. Lexi was in complete shock. All she could do was hope it would be over soon.

And it was. Two more shots fired then the gunman was fleeing the scene, “Lexi its over.” She spoke softly to her, running her hand up and down her back trying to get her to come around. Still no movement from her so she didn’t dare let her go, hoping that she just needed a few more moments.

People came to take Lauren away, assumably to ER, but Lexi still didn’t move. Livian shifted her hold on her so she could tilt Lexi’s head up to look into her eyes, “Its over Lexi. You’re safe. I’m here.” A hand moved up to her face to stroke her cheek hoping that she might register what was going on, “I’m here.” She repeated.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

As Livian tried to pull Lexi out of her shock, Lexi only began to fade more. Staring blankly of to the distance where Lauren's body once was, Lexi started mumbling incoherently. Her mind kept playing tricks on her, reliving her worst memories. She was stuck inside her own nightmare and not even the gentle touch of Livian could pull her out.

"Oh Alexandria. I know you're in there bitch. You think you can hide from me?", Lexi's father drunkenly laughed. "There is no hiding little girl.", he pounded on her closet door as Lexi tried to push her way further into the back. She knew better, hiding always made things worse. With a loud bang, the door flew open revealing a very pissed off man.

No, please!", Lexi begged as her father easily picked her up by the arm and threw her across the room. Laughing, Matthew slowly walked over to his daughter, "Please? You know I just love it when you beg.", the drunk man snarled, hands on his belt.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Everything was happening so fast, as Lexi clung to the object holding her. She continued silently sobbing as she stared at Lauren's still body. She still hadn't moved or made a sound. Lexi wasn't even aware of everything happening around her, but the sound of two more shots pushed her further away from reality. 

Memories of the locker room played before her eyes. “You’re trying to hide someone?? You think you can fool me?!”, he screamed the last words, shaking the pistol wildly at her. “You little bitch!”, as the words left his mouth his trembling finger pulled the trigger. A loud pop shook the locker. The force of the shot flew Lexi against the row of lockers behind her. 

Fading further and further from reality, Lexi's mind continued to play repressed events again and again. "Alex! You can't run away from me you cunt!." Matthew yelled at his daughter. Lexi tried to get away, but it was pointless. Her father was already on top on her, pinning her to the ground. Just as she was about to scream, he backhanded her across the face. "Keep your fucking mouth shut!" he yelled.

[taylor-bell-md]

Taylor quietly took the shirt Chase gave her and tied it around the wincing security guard’s leg to keep the bleeding under control until they could get help. When she was done, she chose to remain on the ground next to the guy to make sure he was going to be alright.

Looking up for a moment, she saw that Lauren slapped the assailant and the mere sight of that made her stomach turn a little. Saying that she was worried that Chase’s sister might get hurt was an understatement. She was downright scared. And then the asshole pistol whipped Lauren. Taylor watched in shock when the girl fell onto the ground unconscious. Her gaze immediately went up to Chase. She sincerely hoped that he wasn’t going to do anything reckless.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Lexi watching in shock as Lauren, the woman she still loved, slap a man she knew was aggressive and who had a gun. Complete terror built up inside her as she saw the flash of complete rage wash over the mans face. It was the same look she had seen countless times on her own fathers face, a look she had never wanted to see again.

Panic began to rise in her as the man pistol whipped Lauren and a loud crack echoed through the room as she fell to the ground. Lexi let out a small scream before quickly covering her mouth. The tears began flowing down her cheeks before she even realized she was crying. Lauren was lying on the ground, not moving. 

Lexi kept staring at Lauren begging for her to move, but nothing, not even a twitch or a sound. She kept staring blankly as the scene continued, unknown to her. Lexi pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to get as small as possible. Unable to stop herself, she began to silently sob as memories of the locker room as well as her childhood rushed through her mind. 

[taylor-bell-md]

Taylor flinched when some unknown man stormed into the cafeteria with a gun in his hand. She swallowed hard, feeling the adrenaline rush through her system. The security guard next to Chase made a move for his gun and she immediately knew that it was a bad idea. Standing there frozen, she hoped that the assailant wouldn’t notice, but of course he did and fired a shot. A small scream left her lips and she stumbled backwards, her heart beating like crazy. The security guy let out a scream as well before he fell to the ground, blood coming from his upper leg. 

There was a heavy silence after the shot, but it was soon interrupted by the angry voice of a girl. Taylor slightly turned her head and realized who it was. Chase’s sister. Oh god. She seemed to know the assailant, which was … not good. But his attention was now completely on her, so Taylor took a deep breath and ever so slowly knelt down next to the wounded guard. He had already slid his weapon over to Jack Daniels and even if he hadn’t, Taylor would never try anything stupid. She just didn’t want the security guard to bleed out, so she pulled herself together, trying not to freak out and applied pressure to his wound.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Lexi had been trying her best to keep herself together as Lauren stood so close to her. Livian, seemed to be trying to be as friendly as possibly, even introducing herself. Lexi looked up at her newest friend with a slight frown, wondering why she was being so polite. Sure, Lauren hadn't done anything wrong, but she had expected a little more guardedness. 

Just as Lauren was about to say something, a man barged through the doors with a gun in hand. Lexi immediately froze, having a flashback to the locker room only a couple months ago. The scar on her shoulder started aching as the memory of the pain of the bullet hole came flooding back to her. 

Trembling, Lexi tried scooting as far back as she could, trying to hide from the man. Unexpectedly, he turned towards them, looking straight at Lauren. Bunny? This was fuckin' Jack? Lexi tried to keep her breathing even as Lauren took a step towards him. Looking over to Livian, Lexi wished she had sat next to her, at least then she would have someone to cling to. 

[lauren--chase-blog]

Lauren was picking at her food, glaring at it as if it was to blame for the fight with Lexi the previous night. She knew that she had overreacted and the little note she had found this morning had made everything 10 times worse. She was an idiot for not noticing Lexi’s feelings for her. Now that she knew, everything made so much more sense. The drunk kiss, the fact that she suddenly wanted to move out. Lauren could have slapped herself for the way she reacted last night. Fighting with her best friend was horrible enough, but knowing that her angriness had probably hurt Lexi even more was worse.

Looking up from her food, she saw her brother (with short hair! wow) and his girlfriend on a table. From the looks of it, they were both in a good mood, sharing a chicken salad. Slightly frustrated, Lauren threw the fork on her plate. This day sucked. She turned her head to the left and suddenly spotted Lexi with a blonde girl, probably the friend she had told her about. She watched as they sat down at a table not far from hers with their food. After a few moments of hesitation, Lauren got up and walked over to them, leaving her food behind. She wasn’t hungry anyways, but she really needed to talk and apologize to Lexi. The fact that the other girl was there too was a bit annoying. Under other circumstances she would have loved to get to know her, but right now she was just in the way.

“Hey-“, she started, standing next to their table. Before she could even finish her greeting though, the ear-piercing lockdown alarm went off. This day was just getting better and better.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Trying to be positive about the day, Lexi put a small smile on her pale face as her and Livian walked into the cafeteria. Her smile faltered as soon as she looked around the room. Lauren was sitting against the wall, apparently having lunch by herself. Where is her 'boyfriend'?, her mind jealously bickered.

Cursing herself for her inappropriate thought, she calmly walked with Livian through the cafeteria line, getting herself a small sandwich, and found a table on the opposite side of the room. To be completely honest, she wasn't hungry at all and specially not after seeing Lauren. 

Trying not to let Livian know seeing Lauren had upset her again, Lexi took a small bite of her sandwich. "Thanks again for letting me stay with you.", she said, looking up at Livian. "It was way more comfortable than the oncall room beds.", she joked, trying to keep the topic away from her ex-roommate. 

Trying to ignore Lauren had been completely useless considering she was now walking over to their table. Before she knew it, Lauren was standing in front of them, close enough Lexi could smell her perfume. Suddenly a loud alarm rang through the room, calling a code red. Code Red? Lockdown? Shit! 

Realizing she could no longer even escape the situation. Lexi looked up at Lauren and was awestruck, after a few awkward seconds she was finally able to reply with a small, "Hey." 

[livian--stebbins-blog]

It wasn’t unusual to see Lexi blush. It was actually a common state for her, but there was something different in the way she was looking back at her. It wasn’t just embarrassment, and she made no move to step away. Somewhere in that moment she had even taken to looking at her lips, which made Livian’s own gaze drop down to Lexi’s mouth. Oh yeah she wanted to kiss her.

Her lips parted ever so slightly and she moved a quarter of an inch closer. Her eyes closed for only a second before opening back up as she pulled back again. That was way too close.

She dropped her hand from Lexi and smile brightly, “We should probably get moving, huh? Don’t want to be late.” Blush rose up in her own cheeks, and she hurriedly ducked her head and moved to the living room to get her purse. She was bound and determined to ruin everything. If she wasn’t careful Lexi probably wouldn’t stay.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

As Lexi's eyes lingered over Livian's face she could have sworn she was going to kiss her. There was a moment where the air between them became think and Livian's eyes closed for a bit longer than a normal blink. However, before Lexi could even decided if she wanted to kiss her or not, Livian pulled away and headed towards the door.

Staring after her friend, Lexi gathered herself, "Oh, ya. Let's go.", Lexi said trying to get the thought of Livian kissing her out of her mind. She grabbed her purse and joined Livian at the door. Once they headed out and to Livian's car, the ride to the hospital was quiet. At first Lexi thought it might still be uncomfortable, but found it easy to feel at ease with Livian. 

Pulling into the hospital parking lot, Lexi noticed the very familiar red mercury comet. Sighing she knew that she was going to have to see Lauren that day. There was no way around it unless Dr. Kline threw her out of the ER again. Lexi briefly contemplated doing something to get thrown out, but quickly dismissed the idea. 

Looking at the time on the radio, Lexi realized she still had a little over a half an hour before her shift started. She remembered that Livian had mentioned lunch before they went to sleep, but honestly couldn't remember. "Lunch?", she asked, turning to face her friend with a smile on her face. 

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Livian watched with shocked eyes as Lexi basically hauled ass to the bathroom. Maybe she had made her uncomfortable by even looking? Was it really so horrible that she appreciated her body? Sure it didn’t help her growing affections for the girl, but it didn’t hurt either. 

No matter what way she looked at it the fact was that she had made Lexi uncomfortable. She made a mental note to avoid looking at her should this problem arise again then turned and moved into her bedroom to change.

Once she was dressed in a pair of low rise jeans and a red halter top she made her way into the kitchen to get a drink of water with Hera at her heels. She poured herself a glass then went about the chore of feeding Hera feeling a little bad that she had forgotten to when she got home that morning.

She had just leaned herself against the counter to enjoy her water when Lexi came out. Her apology stunned her. It had never even occurred to her that she would have been ashamed of her body. Without thought she put down her glass then moved right in front of Lexi. One hand on her waist and the other moved under her chin to tilt her head up, “You are incredibly sexy, Alexandria Morgan. The only reason I was the least bit uncomfortable seeing you like that was because it made me want you so much. Don’t you ever be ashamed.” There went her honest streak. So much for keeping that to herself, but if it made Lexi realize how attractive she was it was worth it. 

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Standing awkwardly against the counter, Lexi blushed a deep shade of crimson when Livian admitted she wanted her. Lexi had never thought of herself as sexy or attractive. Living on the streets, she had kept herself hidden as much as possible out of safety, but it wasn't like anyone had ever said she was sexy is such a admiring way before.

"Oh, thanks.", she said smiling and biting her lower lip. Livian was standing quite close, close enough to smell her perfume and feel her body heat. Lexi felt her heart quicken from the proximity of her friend. Livian was beautiful and sexy, something that was never hard to miss. Her outfit alone was something that would warrant stares from both male and female. 

Lexi finally looked up from Livian's lips to her eyes, seeing so much caring and admiration. Her eyes threatened to look back down once again, but she managed to keep them from wavering. Searching her mind for something else to say Lexi came up with nothing more than 'we should get going'. Internally battling with herself, Lexi realized how much she would rather stay in this position, so close to Livian, all day instead of work like knew she had to. 

She honestly was dreading work, specially the part about possibly seeing Lauren. Thinking about her best friend still made her heart ache. But even if it was her day off, Lexi would wanted to stay that close to Livian. Something about Livian just made her feel safe and secure, a feeling she rarely had ever felt before. Her eyes flickered back across Livian's face as they stood close, not wanted the contact to end. 

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Watching Lexi try to wake up was like watching someone try to fight there way out of a paper bag. It didn’t look pleasant at all. She had to have been seriously exhausted. That was one very deep sleep she had been in.

Livian glanced at the clock on the wall, “Its eleven.” She wouldn’t be left with a ton of time to get ready, but at least time for a shower and change. Well that would probably depend on how long she spent in the shower. Vanessa used to take hour long showers. Their water bill was always ridiculous.

Watching her try to cover herself up, Livian had to bite back a huge smile, “It’s okay. You have really fantastic legs. Why hide them?” In any case I really wanted to climb in bed and run my hands all over you. Thoughts better kept to herself.

“You can go ahead and have a shower first. Towels are in the closet, and you are welcome to any of my shampoo and body wash. I like to change it up sometimes so there is a few to choose from.” She chuckled at herself and gestured towards the bathroom.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Blushing once again when Livian mentioned her legs, Lexi tried to hide herself more. She had always been extremely self conscious, specially about her body. Silently nodding, Lexi quickly looked around for her bag. Of course it was across the room and she was still in her panties.

Sighing at her own luck, Lexi quickly jumped up, grabbed her bad and a towel and ran into the bathroom. Closing and turning towards the door, Lexi let her forehead fall against it. She knew Livian probably laughed at her trying to keep herself from being seem. Hopefully she didn't think Lexi didn't want only her to not see.

Frowning at the possibility she had just hurt her friends feelings, Lexi thumped her head against the door again. Realizing the only way to makeup for her mistake was to apologize and tell her why she had been embarrassed, Lexi quickly stripped and took a relatively fast shower.

After putting on clean clothes and fixing her hair into a messy ponytail, Lexi headed back to the living room. She noticed Livian standing by the kitchen counter and walked over to her. "Uhm, sorry about earlier. I'm just.. really self conscious. It wasn't you, really." Lexi said with looking into her friends eyes. Dropping her eye to her hands, Lexi mumbled. "I kinda hate my body." 

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Livian slept for a full five hours. It might not seem like a lot, but it was more than she usually got when she tried to sleep during the day. Her body typically did not function well trying to do with that. It seemed to think that if the sun and birds were up she should be too.

She rolled out of bed and made her way into the living room clad in a white tank top and a pair of powder blue cotton shorts. It was nearing lunch time, and she was sure that Lexi would need time to get ready. The last thing she wanted was for her friend to feel rushed.

There had been no thought put into what she might find when she walked into the living room. She hadn’t even considered that Lexi might not sleep in pajamas. Sprawled out on the bed, having completely escaped from the covers in her sleep, was a half dressed Lexi. She wore nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. Damn if she didn’t look good. To be able to run her hands down the length of those legs Livian would do just about anything.

Bad thoughts! She shook her head and bit her lip trying to get herself to snap out of it. Clearing her throat lightly she walked over to the bed and gave Lexi’s shoulder a light shake, “Hey. Time to get up, sunshine.”

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Lexi was pulled from her nightmare as a soft voice invaded her mind. Mumbling a "hm?" Lexi attempted to find the voice as she rolled over grasping the pillow. Slowly, the memory of her having fallen asleep at Livian's came to her mind. The voice must have been her. It had to have been her. Did Livian call her sunshine? 

Forcing her eyes open, Lexi blinked a few times to adjust to the light seeing Livian hovering above her. Groaning, she sat up and crossed her legs indian style, "What time is it?", she asked with a yawn. She felt as if she only slept for an hour, but then again she never slept well. Even when she was dead tired, sleep still was never easy, not with constant nightmares.

Lifting her arms over her head to stretch, Lexi yawned again looking down. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw that she was half naked, cross legged on Livian's pullout bed. Quickly grabbing the blanket to cover herself, Lexi turned bright red and tried to hide herself the best she could. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I was just so tired.", she rambled, avoiding eye contact. 

[livian--stebbins-blog]

They made the bed together (so much easier since there was someone to help when the corners wouldn’t stay). She suddenly realized that they would get to do domestic things like this together now that Lexi stayed with her. Help clean up and cook together. That thought made her smile. Lexi might have felt uncomfortable, but Livian was excited. She would have company instead of constantly being alone. 

The fact that the company would be the girl she was currently falling for? That was just a bonus.

She stood up and shook her head at Lexi when they finished, “You don’t have to keep thanking me. I would have been so upset if you had stayed at the hospital when you could have stayed with me. I want you here.” She walked over and gave the girl a final brief hug, “Wake me up when you are ready to go back. We can have lunch together. I don’t have to pull a shift anymore, but I still have a few errands to run this afternoon. Sleep well.” With that she whistled for Hera to follow her and retreated into her room so that Lexi could have some privacy.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Looking up at Livian, Lexi listened to her reply. Of course she had to keep thanking her, Livian was letting her stay at her house. Even for close friends, she knew it was almost always a burden for unexpected guests. She could only imagine how awkward it must be for Livian to have to let her sleep on her couch.

Lexi was pulled out of her self pity with a gently, brief hug. Blinking a couple times, Lexi heard Livian tell her to sleep well and that they would have lunch together. Nodding, Lexi watched as her friend walked down the hall and disappeared into her bedroom with Hera right behind. 

Taking a deep breath, Lexi sat down on the edge of her now made bed. She was so exhausted she didn't even want to bother with trying to find her pajama's in her bag. Falling backwards onto the bed, Lexi kicked off her jeans and took her bra off.  Feeling the extent of her exhausted, Lexi curled up in a ball and fell into a fitful sleep. 

[lexi--morgan-blog]

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Even a half smile was better than the sorrow she had seen when she had first caught sight of Lexi. Obviously she was still wary of coming home with her, but Livian never let off that she was anything less than confident. There was a tugging at the corner of her mind telling…

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Livian led her friend outside to her powder blue Volkswagen bug. With the bag thrown in the backseat and Lexi in the passanger they left on towards the apartment. While she wouldn’t admit it she was a little excited. She hadn’t had a roommate since Vanessa, but that had been a totally seperate situation.

Her focus was averted from her thoughts when Lexi mentioned the sunrise. A smile crept on her lips and she gave her friend a nod, “Its the beginning of something new. That always looks nice.”

Fifteen minutes later she opened the door to the apartment for them, “Welcome home.” She said enthusiastically. Immediately she began removing couch cushions, “The bed isn’t hard to set up. There are blankets sheets and pillows in that closet.” She pointed at the closet at the other end of the room.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Feeling self concious, Lexi kept quiet once Livian let her once again in her apartment. She hated knowing how pathetic she was. For the second time in 6 months she was staying with a friend.

Nodding as Livian told her where the linen was, Lexi quickly went to the closet and pulled out spare bedding after setting her bag down. To be completely honest with herself, she was exhausted.

After she helped Livian make her bed, Lexi turned to her friend. "Thanks, for everything.. again.", she said shyly. "I think I would have slept at the hospital if you hadn't offered.", she added with a blush.

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Even a half smile was better than the sorrow she had seen when she had first caught sight of Lexi. Obviously she was still wary of coming home with her, but Livian never let off that she was anything less than confident. There was a tugging at the corner of her mind telling her that she was possibly very much in over her head, but she ignored it. Her friend needed a place to stay. There was nothing wrong about that.

Livian reached up and wiped away the stray tear or two that had escaped against all odds from Lexi’s eyes, and she flashed a sweet smile when Lexi told her about her stuff, “Not much is good. You’ve seen the apartment.” Having few things would probably be a good thing at this point. There wasn’t much to the one room apartment.

She leaned in and gave her friend another brief hug then gestured towards the lockers, “Go get your stuff then we can go home.” There was that confidence again in her tone. It would be there home for as long as Lexi was willing to stay with her.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Giving another small nod, Lexi took a deep breath to even out her breathing and headed toward her locker. She was due back to work that evening, but hopefully no one would call her in earlier since she had finished the paperwork from the night shift. She was extremely exhausted from another crying episode and craved somewhere warm to curl up.

After grabbing her small bag, she turned back to face her friend. Livian still looked worried, but the her cheerful demeanor was still there making Lexi feel better. "Thanks," she said shyly with a small smile. Once again she was crashing with a friend. She really wondered when she was ever going to be able to call a place her own. 

The two headed out to the parking lot just as the sun was beginning to rise. Stopping near Livian's car, Lexi watched the sunrise, getting a comforting feeling from it. "I love watching the sunrise.", she said quietly, not taking her eyes off it. "I used to watch it almost every morning. There was a rooftop back in Boston that overlooked the city. Somehow it always makes me feel better."

Lexi looked over at Livian, noticing she was now looking at the sun. A feeling came over her as she noticed how the morning sun fell upon her friends face. Livian was gorgeous. 

[peterhale-remade]

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Pure shock was all that she could feel when Lexi pulled away and even went as far as to say she shouldn’t come with her. Of course she should? Where else would she go? Interns didn’t make shit for money. Motels would be out of the question. Would she live on the street again? Livian couldn’t bare that. No Lexi just wanted to protect her feelings, but that shouldn’t be her concern.

“Stop it.” Her voice was firm, but still soft. Lexi reminded her a lot of a deer. One false move and she would probably go running for the hills in fear, “I don’t need you to protect me or be sorry. I told you I wanted you to talk to me. I want to stay close with you and know how you are feeling. You don’t have to worry about me. I told you I would tell you if things got to be too much.”

A step closer and she was basically nose to nose with Lexi trying to get her to look into her eyes, “I want you to stay with me. I want to know you are safe, and I sure could use the company.” The corners of her mouth turned up into a smile, “You could help me co-parent Hera. It could be fun.”

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Lexi was in the middle of trying to form a sentence to tell Livian how bead she felt when she heard the firm 'stop it'. Freezing out of fear she did something wrong, Lexi stared at the ground, hands fidgeting in front of her. When Livian began talking, she felt even more like a child being scolded. 

Lexi continued to look at the ground until she felt Livian step even closer. She knew her eyes where glistening with unshed tears, but when she heard her friends gentle words telling her how much she wanted her to stay with her, Lexi reluctantly looked up. 

As soon as she did, a small tear slid down her cheek. She gave the best half smile she could before giving a small nod, "Okay." Feeling exhausted after once again sobbing, Lexi yet out a small yawn. "I have my bag in my locker. It's not much.", she admitted, slightly blushing. 

[livian--stebbins-blog]

She had written it? Lexi was a lot more brave than she gave herself credit for. She could have left without saying a thing. After all she had already told her she was going. Did she need an explanation? No. It wasn’t a necessity yet she had done it anyways. She put it all on the line just to give some sort of answer. That was brave.

“You got it out. At least now she knows. No what ifs.” Livian fully believed that that was important. She could have hid her sexuality from her family, but she wanted them to know exactly who she was and share in her love. It had turned out badly, but there hadn’t been any what ifs. Now Lauren would know the truth of Lexi’s love. No what ifs. No waiting to see if it could have all turned out differently if she had spoken up.

Livian continued to hold her friend even after the tears had all but faded. The hand on her back still rubbed out circles as she spoke, “Come home with me. Stay with me.” The offer had been laid out earlier that night, but it was even more relevant now. She needed a place to stay. It made complete sense if you ignored the fact that Livian was quickly falling for the girl that felt so good in her arms.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Truth be told, Lexi felt like a coward. She hadn't told Lauren the truth when she had asked her. No, instead she made up some random lie about needing space. What would have happened if she was brave enough to tell her the truth? Would she be standing in the locker room against Livian if she had? 

That's were Livian was wrong. There would always be what if's. What if Lexi hadn't said anything? What would have happened if Lexi had just gone back to sleep after hearing about Lauren's great date? Would she still be in this much pain? Would it be less? She couldn't imagine it hurting any more.

Lexi was surprised when Livian asked her to come home with her. She knew her friend was serious about letting her crash with her if she decided to move out, but still the offer had caught her off guard. Lexi already felt guilty about crying on her friend twice in one night. With the sudden realization that she once again cried about Lauren when Livian had admitted to her crush, Lexi felt like the worst person in the world. 

Feeling horrible, Lexi slightly pulled away, "I.. I shouldn't. You've already done so much.." Lexi didn't want to look up at her friend, knowing tears would once again begin to fall. "I'm sorry. I'm horrible. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry.", Lexi rambled, trying to get Livian to understand her thoughts. 

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Livian gently brushed away the first tear as Lexi slowly began to tell her story. It didn’t take long for more tears to be shed, and for the whole situation to start making sense. Of course that had hurt her. Another person making Lauren happy, no matter what the sex would have cause her pain. Watching the one you love love someone else? Well that was excruciating.

Lexi fell into her, and Livy immediately wrapped her arms around her to support her. She could feel the shoulder of her scrubs becoming damp with her friend’s tears and it broke her heart. One hand found its way into Lexi’s hair and the other rubbed her back in soothing circles. They were bound together in a tight embrace not letting go for anything.

“She won’t be angry long. She doesn’t know why you left, does she?” Livian doubted that Lexi had disclosed her emotions, “She doesn’t understand, but it will pass. You were protecting your heart. You can’t sit by and watch her be with other people. It will put a strain on you and your friendship. Give her time. I’m sure she will forgive you.” Without thought she turned her head and pressed a kiss to her friend’s temple. Another comforting gesture. Nothing more.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Clinging to Livian, Lexi sobbed feeling her friends arms wrap around her. For the second time that day, Livian was comforting her which only made her feel worse about herself. The feeling of guilt mixed with her broken heart, making her latch on to Livian more, afraid she would let her go. 

Lexi tried her best to listen to Livian's comforting words, but her first question caught her off guard. "She doesn’t know why you left, does she?" She had wrote it, 'I loved you', on her goodbye note. How long would it be until Lauren found it? Would Lauren do anything? Say anything?

Taking in a shaky breath, Lexi mumbled against her friends shoulder, "I wrote it on my goodbye note when I left." She didn't know what Livian would say about her note, maybe nothing at all, but Lexi felt sick to her stomach just thinking about it. Lauren hated her as it was, how would she react when she read Lexi had loved her? 

[livian--stebbins-blog]

Livian watched her friend closely. There was definitely something wrong. Even the way she walked seemed sad. She slouched against the wall the same way she had when Dr. Kline had kicked her out of the ER but this time there weren’t any tears. There weren’t any words either. Two minutes of silence was two minutes too long.

She stepped closer to Lexi and reached out. Her hand caressed her cheek with the utmost care, and had the woman opened her eyes she would have found herself looking into a pair full of concern and confusion. What the hell had happened when she went back home.

“Lexi.” Her tone was soft and cautious. She didn’t want to spook her into putting up her walls against opening up to her, “What happened? Did you fight with Lauren?” She remembered the conversation earlier about Lauren having a date. Maybe Lexi had snapped when Lauren tried to tell her about it? She didn’t even want to think that something horrible had happened on the way home. Some stranger maybe mugging her? But she didn’t seem hurt. Lauren was the most likely issue.

[lexi--morgan-blog]

Lexi kept her eyes focused on the ground, even as Livian came closer. If she were to look up, she knew she wouldn't be able to control her tears. She didn't trust her voice yet, not with her friend anyways. Livian knew something was wrong and wanted her to talk about it, anyone else would have ignored the problem all together. 

As Livian lightly touched her cheek, she shut her eyes willing the tears not to come. It was in vain though as a tear slowly began falling down her cheek at Livian's question. "She was so happy.", she said with a shaky voice. It was true, Lauren had been happy when she came home from her date. The entire reason behind her saying she was going to move out.

Another minute or so passed before Lexi was able to say more. "She came home so happy. It hurt. He made her happy." Lexi tried to force the tears away resulting in more sliding down her pale cheeks. "I said I thought I should move out.", she said pausing to take a labored breath. Trying not to sob, Lexi fell forward into her friend, "She was so angry."