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ME AND GANY RN HAVE LOSTTTT ITTTT
guess what my favorite color is
greys anatomy comes back on thursday...
anatomymd:
❛ right , family. ❜ & for once , her chest fills with a warmth – she didn’t know what family could be until she became a resident. she didn’t know what it was like being excited to come home to just tell her sister about her day until … until she lost her sister. ( STUPID PLANE CRASH. STUPID PLANE CRASH ! ) ❛ derek & zola miss you , by the way. zola keeps asking where you are – i told her you’re with your mom & mark in a nice place. derek’s having a hard time without you. ❜ she looks down , laughing for a second & biting her bottom lip. ❛ said none of the other residents compare to you – considering where you two started , i’d say you left a mark. ❜ more than a mark.
a shrug – there could be a lot of reasons as to why she’s nauseous. ❛ i don’t know , lex. the stress from the crash & the sudden life change could be part of it. derek’s not recovering as fast as he wants to & we’re dealing with that too. ❜ SHE GIVES LEXIE HER INFAMOUS RAISED BROW. ❛ glowing , huh ? & here i thought it was just sweat from being in a long surgery , ❜ she quips. ❛ thank you. ❜ she leans a little closer to lexie – oh , what meredith would give just to be able to touch her sister once again. ❛ it takes my mind off of … it. when i work. & when i spend time with derek & zola … i’m just … i’m thankful for what i have. so i’m trying. to be better. that’s also a lot of work. ❜ her lips quirk to the side. ❛ WE FINALLY HAVE THE DREAM HOUSE TOO. moving in our stuff was exhausting – but we can raise a family there. you would have loved the house. ❜ meredith can picture it : lexie lounging on the couch while rewatching ellis grey’s old tapes. why did the universe have to take moments like that away ? WHY DID THE UNIVERSE DOOM THEM ?
in the choice between living and dead, lexie would go back in a heartbeat. this isn’t enough. seeing her sister in moments, fleeting dreams would never be enough. [ i watched you meredith. i saw you cry at my funeral, i saw you tell zola i was gone. i wanted to be there so bad. ] her heart edges on breaking again, a humorous notion — what can be broken when it’s already dead? she swallows her anxieties, instead listening to for news of her niece, the little details meredith shows all she has now. ❝ you can tell zola i’ll see her again — not for a long time, but i know, i know i’ll see her again. and god, i knew it! do you remember when he got shot and just — went right back to work? you have to convince him to take it easy. ❞ she missed him too, the rush of working on cases that were so close to being tossed out. they were bonafide miracle workers. wasted potential.
❝ you need to move past it mer, ❞ her voice comes off soothing, the same tone she’d carried when lexie would read storybooks to zola. lexie wants to laugh, but there’s something heartbreaking about knowing her sister is having a baby that will never meet her. in another world, she could embrace her. in another world, her and mark could have celebrated this with her. ❝ the house must be beautiful, did derek get the giant sink he’d always wanted? ❞ the question she wants to ask is unsaid : did you keep the place for me? did you think of me when you emptied my room? it burns her to stay frozen, the image of a frozen resident. ❝ i’m sure, i’m sure it’s gorgeous. i know you, well, i know derek has an eye for detail. ❞
housekeeping notes! i’ve decided that i will no longer use small text on this blog + orienting towards being almost one hundred percent plot based. as of right now, my other blogs that i plan to be active on are @lexipedia @wishwove and @loisjoanne though i do have two original characters blogs that i’ve been working on ! i’m perhaps considering going back to queue based writing but i’ll keep everything relatively chill around here. thank you all for being so patient with me !
US mutuals, any moment now, the House will start debating Democratic Majority Leader Steny Hoyer’s stand-alone bill to send another $1 billion to Israel, on top of the $3.8 million we’re already sending them this year. you can pick up the phone right and tell your Representative in Congress to oppose this. you can reach out through this link or you can find your representative here. you can find a call script under the cut. please boost this!
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i love my city, i love her people; you’ll have to kill me if you want gotham.
#𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙼𝙴𝙽𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃. independent & private bruce wayne/batman writing blog. multiverse & multiship. headcanon - based/canon divergent. activity varies. loved dearly by rose.
zilmdat:
𝚂𝙾 𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳'𝚅𝙴 𝙱𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙴𝙳 𝙾𝙵𝙵 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝚂𝙲𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙴𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙸𝚂𝙴𝚂 - it was no bullet wound , no unsalvageable gash , and by all means his healing was something that most medical professionals would raise an eyebrow at , but it was a solid excuse in the eyes of everyone who didn’t know the reality of his newfound enhanced existence . he sits upright , eyes alight with a familiar fondness . ❝ not immune , simply . . . less pain inclined . ❞ he reiterates with a shrug , coming to stand and lean against the bed he’d been occupying moments ago . head tilts as he pretends to think over any possible other reasons to keep lexie behind her usual schedule . ❝ well i have had this aching pain right about here actually - ❞ he begins playfully , index coming to rest against his lower lip . ❝ might be something you can do about that , you’re the professional here . ❞
he’s made it a habit to come here. in between shifts, lexie is sure to stop by the clinic to see him, practically memorizing when he’s around [ texts sent : sorry ! called to the clinic. ] rosy cheeks at his words, lexie leans closer to him, vaguely aware that he smells like home. planting a soft kiss to his lips, her eyes teasingly reprimand bucky as she pulls away. ❝ in my professional opinion — i think you should learn patience. ❞ an eyebrow raised but lexie has never been one to even fake being serious, laughter reverberating through her chest when she breaks away. her fingertips brush the edges of his chin, tilting her head. ❝ you think you could have done me a favor and waited ? you’re lucky i finished early or else the chief of surgery could have had my head! ❞ she’s rambling, a tendency to go on and on that spills in vulnerability.
❝ aren’t you supposed to be immune to pain ? ❞ the question drips off her lips with a teasing smile, the resident already pulling off her gloves before she rolls her eyes at her boyfriend’s antics. of course he has to stop by the hospital right when a trauma comes in, but lexie saunters over to bucky’s side. it’s a quick stop anyway — not like anyone could actually hurt the indestructible person in front of her [ or so lexie reminded herself when she grew too worried . . . ] ❝ or is that something you just say to impress all the girls ? ❞ lexie raises an eyebrow, laughing before taking the patient chart she’s sure bucky’s scribbled nonsense on, briefly gazing for any emergent medical issues. ❝ i see you’ve exhausted all the tests we can do — and you’re all clean ! looks good to me. did you need anything else ? ❞
@zilmdat !
bitchlytr:
@lexipedia
UP UNTIL THAT MOMENT her charges were simply a tiny hum on the edge of kat’s awareness, happily going about their lives. so a sharp spike of alarm going off was enough for kat TO DROP EVERYTHING without hesitation, highlighter she’d been using to go over her study notes dropping onto her bed as she orbed to where she felt her charge instinctively pleading for help.
appearing on a sidewalk in a shower of blue lights, her hands extended to freeze the scene. around her TIME SEEMED TO SLOW. okay not entirely frozen but it bought kat enough time. a few steps ahead one lexie grey stepped onto the crosswalk, frightened eyes locked on the car taking the turn into the street way too fast. NO, NO, NO! rushing forward, kat grasped the woman’s shoulders and pulled. as the two fell back onto the sidewalk the world sped back up to normal. the car continued on as if nothing had happened, even having the gall to loudly honk. a throb from her lower back radiated from where kat took the brunt of the impact. OWW ! yep that was a bruised tailbone for sure.
wincing she managed to kneel, checking over the woman who’d almost been flattened. ❝ ARE YOU OKAY? that guy just came out of nowhere. ❞ so had she, but here was hoping that could be brushed off. just a random passerby who’d been in the RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.
she never pays attention . meredith has scolded her far too many times , as have susan and thatcher . but when she’s walking back from rounds , lexie can’t help but lose track of her own thoughts going from the paths of the hospital . the trauma area is cleared for a moment , enough for her to walk past the clinic and think to herself that at least some progress is being made between her & meredith A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY : she’s determined after all . her head stuck in the clouds, she barely registers what’s happening until she’s pushed back wards [ a car horn screams behind them ] a jolt is pushed through her body before she realizes oh my god. hands cover her entire body , doing a scan to check for anything — mentally checking everything she’s learned about accidents before she freezes up . ❝ that was — he was so close ❞ her voice rattles , mortality in front of her every day , but today is different when it’s hers after all .
❝ wait — what about you ? ❞ suddenly attentive towards the woman that saved lexie from death just seconds ago , she’s immediately scanning for any visible injuries or something lexie can treat immediately with her hands . the intern could have sworn that seconds ago she was the only one on the street , but then again lexie didn’t even notice the giant car heading their way . ❝ i’m a doctor at seattle grace — i can help you . ❞ she promises before coming close and extending a hand. ❝ thank you . . . you saved my life . ❞
𝙵𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝙸 𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙼𝚈 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙴
1. sun song - trvstfall
i chose this song because one it played with mark and lexie came on the beach and i really really love the lyric ‘ come what may, come my way, the sun is going to shine after the rain. ‘ because it reminds me so much of lexie and her resilience and that sense of peace that comes from being with meredith and mark again. and the ‘ i’m going to sing until the sun comes out ‘ reminds me so much of lexie’s own positive attitude despite all the patient deaths she’s seen.
2. willow - taylor swift
the part ' I'm begging for you to take my hand / wreck my plans, that's my man ‘ reminds me so much of lexie’s relationship with mark, and the destructive tendencies i has, specifically with sofia and the constant breaking up in season six to season seven between them, and the part that goes ‘ head on the pillow, I could feel you sneakin' in / as if you were a mythical thing ‘ like the relationship they have is blocked off by derek at first, and the sneaking in line is about their escapist tendencies, lexie’s fear specifically. and then the ‘ like you were a trophy or a champion ring / and there was one prize I'd cheat to win ‘ makes me laugh because you have lexie’s i think i loved rules, yet her relationship with mark is itself a rebellion.
3. washing machine heart - mitski
the line ‘ i know who you pretend i am ‘ implies so much in every relationship lexie has. at first, we see that she’s compared to meredith in the bar with derek, then i think a lot about when thatcher came to the hospital and is praising meredith after having a drunk fit with lexie a few days ago, and the echoing of meredith as lexie, lexie as meredith, and then you see the relationships meredith had ( george for example ) and then i think the line ‘ why not me ‘ rings of the desperation and loneliness lexie feels when she sees george with meredith and alex etc, and then again with mark and julia / the feeling of being left behind and when she says ‘ i open my mouth and nothing comes out. ‘
4. i like me better - lauv
season 5 lexie’s arc is one of my favorite’s because you have her friendship with meredith growing and then you have the extent of thatcher’s alcholism revealed and the toll it takes on lexie and when she turns to mark and the part of this song that goes ‘ if we lay, let the day just pass us by / i might get to too much talking / i might have to tell you something. ‘ i like how lexie is vulnerable with mark and meredith in a way that isn’t really revealed in thee fourth season ! the better version of lexie is also the versions she brings out in meredith for example , so i like how this song includes what lexie brings out in other people
5. hey angel - one direction
this song reminds me of beach!lexie so much and i was talking to covey about our dream thread and the “ tell me, do you ever try / to come to the other side? “ and how that applies to how lexie is reaching out to meredith ... and the idea that lexie died as the “angel” alongside mark, and just the happy tones of this song and the “ do you know the reason why we look up to the sky “ and the way lexie/meredith are talking to each other....it fits lads
𝚃𝙰𝙶𝙶𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝚈 : this has been in my drafts for so long whoever did it i am so sorry
𝚃𝙰𝙶𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙶 : @altmanmd @anatomymd @fatalelity @skatedagain @dejavhu ( for callie ) @sloanmds @zilmdat + the person reading this
anatomymd:
a laugh escapes her lips – of course lexie was watching. even outside of her dreams , meredith knows that somehow … lexie will always be out there. right at her side. ( BUT SHE STILL MISSES HER – MISSES THE WARMTH OF HER HUGS , THE BRIGHTNESS OF HER SMILE … ) ❛ i’m everything my mother wanted me to be. i’m everything i wanted to be. unfortunately , it has been taking up my time. ❜ MEREDITH IS BEING EXTRAORDINARY. just what ellis would have wanted for her. there’s still a hollow in her heart though , a lexie shaped void nobody can fill.
❛ BUSY DOES NOT BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT. being an attending seems less stressful until your day is filled with consults & back to back procedures. but honestly … it’s amazing still. ❜ her smile reaches her eyes as she stares at lexie – lexie , forever frozen. that’s all she is. frozen now. ( IF SHE WERE SOMEONE WHOSE EMOTIONS COULD EASILY BREAK THROUGH , PERHAPS SHE WOULD HAVE SHED A TEAR. ) ❛ cristina eventually learned your name ! you’re the only intern whose name she has bothered to learn. ❜ another laugh ! gosh , here ? laughter comes easy. ❛ … sorry – i want to be around. but derek is still recovering & for some reason , i’m … i don’t know , more tired ? getting a little nauseous here & there too. i think it’s the stress. ❜
you’re everything i knew you could be. lexie wears it with pride, that between the two of them, at least her sister is down there, rewriting history. lexie is trapped. the body of a resident, no more memories — just a constant revisit to each happy moment over & over again with those around her. [ SHE CAN SEE HOW SAD MEREDITH IS IN HER EYES, LEXIE HOLDING HERSELF BACK FROM YELLING OUT LOUDER & LOUDER : i never left you ! and when meredith recounts every bit of her work, when lexie can see the change her sister makes, she is filled with pride, a body trapped with love. [ she edges closer, ] if she concentrates, she’s sure meredith can feel her. lexie knows. she smiles, looking down at the sand between them wishing it was real. ❝ you don’t have to explain mer, you’re with your family. ❞ her own heart skips a beat, the sudden memory of holding zola so close she remembers her niece’s every detail.
❝ nausea ? ❞ an eyebrow cocks, trying to drop the hints that lexie sees. the energy between them enough to let lexie know this is a three person conversation. so mark was right when he told her yesterday . . . ❝ any idea where that could be coming from ? ❞ she suppresses a laugh, never one for subtly revealing anything, but wanting to let her sister figure this out. the pang in lexie’s chest making her realize how much she wants to be there with her. how much she wanted this with mark. but this is for meredith. after all this loss, mer deserves it. ❝ you look like you’re glowing. i’m dead and i’m jealous. — but get some rest. you’re working too hard. ❞
it’s a miracle. that’s what everyone tells her, repeated whispers in the hall, welcomed hugs from her sister — the phone call to her father. lexie almost died under that plane, and only because of a push and pull by mark is she here today. the first few days a blur, with little time for anything more than recovery. her room is across from mark’s catching glimpses of him, rushed in and out of surgery. [ she wants to say something, but she lives in a state of dreaming. frozen. ] until moments ago when she is well enough to see him, where lexie nearly sneaks into his room under dr webber’s gaze. she is quick to note how ill he looks, how weak. it worries her, but lexie knows that everyone is doing what they can o save him [ after all, they saved her. ] she reaches for his hand gently, careful to wake him, to finally say something without hurting him. they’ve done this so many times. ❝ mark — i’m here now, ❞ she presses a kiss to his knuckles, so close to him she can see every bit of wear the weeks have brought on him. how tired he looks. it’s peaceful in it’s own way. ❝ i know — i heard you when you said it back. i love you too. ❞
@mdplastic
strawberryy i love uuuuu
fake strawberry meme.
mara....... where to start with you........ you are SUCH a beam of light and honestly make my days sm better. you have gone through way too much on this hellsite and you dont deserve any of the bad shit that ppl have said abt u. you are SO talented whether w graphics or writing and i love reading ur metas + drabbles 🥺💕 i can tell how much u love ur muses and i think that love spreads to everyone else that interacts w u as well. also ur rlly epic too btw
𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒏, i can touch and kiss and hold without getting burnt. independent multimuse featuring muses from disney, star wars, dc, harry potter, teen wolf, and more. written by alice, she/her ✨
the problem is we are human . . . we want more than just to survive. 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 no matter what happens no matter what you decide to do 𝒊'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.
#LEXIPEDIA private 𝘭𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘺 from greys anatomy. loved by mara. ©