Just Keep Swimming @lez-be-h0nest - Tumblr Blog

Love ends.

the P in PTSD stands for:

Last weekend the @honchopgh campout was just what I needed. 10 slides just isn’t enough to showcase all the amazing memories, but I’m doing my best. I have to admit that I was a little apprehensive going into this event that had been previously dominated by cis yt gays, but @hunyrocks and the Queer Fam Fund made the inclusion of BIPOC trans & non-binary the goal and whewww chile did they succeed!! The music all weekend was absolutely incredible. @___icy.pisces set it tf offff Thursday evening w a set that had everyone moving. Friday morning a beautiful sound bath & reiki session by @djladylane woke up my soul in ways I’ve never felt before. And Pittsburghs own @jellyfishpgh got us grooving. Followed by an amazing talk facilitated by @iammylife_chaz about Black Matter and Black Joy. -thank you Dr. Chaz for carving out space and time for us, your work is highly appreciated. Saturday afternoon @morenxx_x said “gooood morning let’s do some cardio!” w a set that had us sweating our lil asses (idk if I’ve ever moved that fast!) That night @thecarrynation_nyc set the dance floor on fire w that “lose my breath” moment at 4am and amazing drag performance by @charleneincarnate. Sunday the QFFers had an impromptu ball during the last set & got damn did we turn it out! Overall this experience is truly one I’ll never forget. I had the opportunity to disconnect from reality for a few days, immerse myself into the woods and meet so many wonderful queers from all over the world all during an Aquarius full moon 🌝✨ Huge thank you everyone involved in making this happen, I’m already looking forward to next year! (at Four Quarters Farm) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTC8ayHrPd6/?utm_medium=tumblr

Celebrating another year around the sun 🌞 ♌️ huge thanks to everyone who made me feel extra loved yesterday. next time I’ll take more pics https://www.instagram.com/p/CSsbn6WsSJN/?utm_medium=tumblr

How are y’all doing? Do you have a favorite mask? This is mine ✨ Made by @elainehealy.atelier Hand painted by @stew_frick (at Upper Lawrenceville) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIWH6QuBKVA/?igshid=mtnpeyuqabfl

Lady in Red 🌹 March 2020. This is one of my last creative projects since covid & I’m dying to get back at it. Let’s work!! (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFP_8EshrWN/?igshid=ixmn0sd0u4qo

I am absolutely overwhelmed with how much love and support I’ve received over the past 24 hours. When my lovely partner @ayelenak decided to start this page for me I wasn’t sure what to expect. If you know me irl, you know I gave been going THRU it since March. I’ve been doing my best to rebound, recover and stay positive. Sometimes it just gets to be too much and I’ve got to be honest about the reality I’m in. Over the past 4 months, I have spent 5 weeks in a psychiatric hospital facing a pre-disposition to bipolar disorder 1 and severe PTSD. In losing 5 weeks of my life I’ve also lost my living situation, my credit has been destroyed and I’ve been unable to work due to a torn ACL I sustained right before Covid closed down pgh. While I’ve filed for unemployment and applied for all the government assistance available to me, it doesn’t happen over night. I still have bills, food and shelter to worry about everyday. While I am blessed and fortunate to have a loving support system very close to me, I also have learned how to push my pride aside. In sharing this page I am simply asking for help. Whether it be a dollar amount, a kind word of wisdom, or a reference to a stable living situation. Also, if you or anyone you know has gone through a similar situation or battled w any form of mental health conditions please feel free to reach out. My inbox is always open, and you can even text me at 4123466931 if you’d like to be more personal. Trust me, it helps to talk about these things. If you are experiencing a crisis pls text ‘HELP’ to 741741 (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CC_d4lXjBKf/?igshid=1r65f5gimce1l

Hi hello goooood mawhnin 👋🏾🌞 . . . Yesterday it was 80° and I walked around like this in the sun. Today is looking rocky so far, but imma walk around like this anyway 🤷🏾‍♀️🤑 (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAQEkl8j8u7/?igshid=1k9o99wrotl7j

What’s your love language?? 🧿💞🥺 . . . If you don’t know the 5 love languages, google that shit ASAP. . . Today is my Mother’s 60th Birthday. 05151960. I’ve spent my entire day doing things for myself and the ones I love around me. It’s officially midnight here but my Mom always operated on west coast time so 😜🦄 we still gon celebrate for 3 more hours. This post is to show my growth as a human being. Tagging the people closest to me & giving credit where credit is due. I could NOT have gotten thru this day without my shawty lil big head QWEEN @ayelenak THANK YOU I LOVE YOU. I’ll list everyone else in the comments. If you’re reading this right now, know that if no one has said they love you today, I LOVE YOU.🙏🏾🧿🥺 (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAPDsoOjgrK/?igshid=7kf0sgz7wk7y

A lil golden hour selfie action for ya 😏 Did you know that May is #mentalhealthawarenessmonth ?? What have you done for your mental health today? I went for a walk then took a lovely shower. Shaved & exfoliated my whole body. Now I’m feeling great 🙏🏾🌞 (at North Side, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_yPvtdDapq/?igshid=15xo2luwd4931

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth

The future is now. What are you looking forward to? (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_xYEYmjMYX/?igshid=1ou44jfrij98s

@martymoment and I made this cutie lil video over a month ago! If you don’t know Marty, y’all better get familiar. She’s been killin it w makeup, fashion, and inspiration! What are y’all most excited for when this quarantine is lifted?? I canNOT wait to create again with this incredible pgh community! Imma do it all -photo, video, makeup, music, you name it. I’m using this lockdown time to study up on things I’ve been interested in. Tell me some things you’ve learned during the pandemic 🤓 (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_fGDSoDcd1/?igshid=mjrkbcd3i2yo

I ponder of something great My lungs will fill and then deflate They fill with fire, exhale desire I know it's dire my time today. How y’all feeling today? Yesterday was a tough day for me. I’m feeling incredibly frustrated and misunderstood. I’m staying medicated & elevated tho which is the only thing keeping me sane. My fav version of communication is Music. Words are hard sometimes yknow? The English language is stooooopid. If I can’t relate to you via words or hugs, send me a song that can help me! Remember that Mental Health is just as important as Physical Health esp during a PANDEMIC. Cry if you need to cry, Scream if you need to scream, Sleep if you need to sleep, Listen to your inner voice and take inventory. We’re all in this together ✊🏾🦄❣️🌈 Fall down Seven, stand up Eight. Just keep swimming mi amigos #stayconnected #seizetheawkward #bethevoice #afsp #bethechangeyouwanttosee #mentalhealth #mentalhealthadvocate (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_XbqZGjYI1/?igshid=odgihvw8owas

#stayconnected #seizetheawkward #bethevoice #afsp #bethechangeyouwanttosee #mentalhealth #mentalhealthadvocate

Helllllooo IG fam 👋🏾🌞 long time no see it feels. How’s your mental/physical holding up during this quarantine? I have a torn ACL & a predisposition to mental health conditions. Wanna talk about it? I have all the time for healthy conversations. Comment w your favorite/most effective coping skills. Let’s compare! Much light & love to you all 🙏🏾⚡️ I have tons of content I’ll be sharing over the next few weeks. Might even play around & make a YouTube video or a song..hmm stay tuned y’all (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_Nl-p4DA1U/?igshid=1x2mian2rjxbp

Gooood morning frens. How are ya feeling about our trial month of 2020? Happy February. Learn something new everyday & tell a friend. Just a reminder that the world is burning, people are missing & dying. Hug the ones you love. Protect black trans ppl. Stand up & speak out for those that can’t do it themselves. Please, please just be kind to one another. Respect is cool. Consent is sexy. Love is love. Here’s my face brought to you by @bizzy.bean (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8BuUgmBZNz/?igshid=1xiolzzr5riry

What are some of your goals for 2020?? For me, I’m all about creating. I want to do more than just be in front of the camera. I want to stop selling myself short. The sky is the limit. I’d like to learn how to use my voice for speaking/singing, want to learn how to play an instrument-starting w ukulele, dedicate more time to dance, and I’m DYING to create actual tangible art that I can hold onto. Doing my best to manifest these things for myself. If you have any suggestions or advice pls help ya girl out! I’m only one person but I LOVE learning and growing with and through other people. Let’s be friends! (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6BrQEahZzM/?igshid=1hg2tgxtxpjlk

Un•veil (v.) to show or announce publicly for the first time. Lately, I have been feeling very indifferent about instagram & social media in general. I haven’t been posting much this year, honestly bc I’ve been in a creative rut and haven’t been shooting like I used to. With #worldsmentalhealthday and #nationalcomingoutday🌈 happening this week, I figured what better time to finally speak up. I came out as bisexual when I was 14 only to later label myself as lesbian shortly after. It was a very scary process for me. While I had decent support from friends and my mom, I felt so strange breaking away from the conformity I felt so attached to. I just wanted to be “normal” so badly that I faked my way through hetronormative relationships for years. When I finally accepted myself it felt like a breath of fresh air. Like I could finally be happy loving who I wanted to. But as I’ve gotten older, and times have changed I’ve learned more about gender & sexuality being fluid and on a spectrum. I’ve internally always struggled with how I identify, but it’s something that I’ve never really spoken out about. I genuinely don’t feel like it’s necessary to have to define yourself based on who you choose to sleep with or how your physical being is presented. I’ve slept with both men and women, does that make me more gay? Less gay? Does it even matter? -so many questions I ask myself. I am very femme presenting with my big ass curly hair & feminine facial features, but I’ve never truly felt like a “sexy woman” I have a pretty good relationship with my body, but honestly, sometimes I feel like a lady, sometimes I feel like a boy, sometimes i don’t feel connected to my body at all. what does this mean? Instead of driving myself crazy with all these questions w fluid answers, I do my best to simply exist and love others around me. Coming out to me, means loving yourself for you, not for the approval of others. Anyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about mental health. Losing my mother to suicide when I was only 18 was the MOST traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. From that moment forward I vowed to always fight for mental health & suicide prevention (Con’t in comments) (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3hqqawB6R0/?igshid=6y84w5pv9h00

#worldsmentalhealthday #nationalcomingoutday🌈

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