he’s pleased when he FEELS julian pressing himself closer to him. jian knew that he could be INTIMIDATING ( unapproachable , a distant dream , a longing fantasy ). he had long STOPPED trying to convince people that he wouldn’t EAT thim if they so much breathed wrong in his direction. there was no use , no reason , not when he could play it all to his hand. everything was but a game after all. he had to TAKE whatever he could && be content with being the winner even if it meant that he would be alone in the end. one can feed upon their own EGO after all ( his pride and confidence the only thing keeping the gaping emptiness seem full ). head is tilted to the side , glancing at the other , silk locks shifting across forehead ( dangling ear-rings swaying happily along ). brows rise as corners of lips do the same : blinding SMILE lighting up visage. perhaps he had made the right choice in picking julian after all. maybe it would all be worth his while.
❝ i am pretty sure you’re going to make me happy , yes. you might be a bit —. ❞ free hand is lifted to wave casually in the air. ❝ nervous ? anxious ? which is fine —– i won’t hold it against you. what kind of relationship would we have if i did , hmm ? ❞ a way to TRY to ease the nerves ( or whatever else was bothering the boy ). he wants to CONTINUE but the on-going waterfall that were the other’s words make him stop. it’s adorable. precious. cute. he feels almost touched : almost. bcause to feel like julian ACTUALLY meant all of those words from the bottom of his heart couldn’t be true. in the end this was a BUSINESS relationship ( paying someone for their company , buying them gifts , give them an allowance ). where was the romance in that ? the genuine feelings ? no , for this to succeed , julian would have to be on his good side ? what better way than to shower jian in compliments. it was fine though. whatever the reason for it : it fed him.
jian comes to a stop , gently forcing julian too , the car but a few steps from where they were. turning his body COMPLETELY to face the younger does he rest free hand upon the male’s other hip. dark hues bore into opposite pair , taking note of how lashes framed them ( how gaze could never hold his own ). a soft pull , trying to see how close their bodies could be to each other , uncaring for the fact that they were in the middle of the street. shadows played ever so ELEGANTLY upon julian’s skin , framing each sharp line , smooth slope , soft skin. ❝ listen to me. i don’t think you’re going to be bad. i think you’re going to be great. and if i say you are , you are. ❞ expression upon face shifts slightly to make room for one that breathed a much MORE serious air. ❝ you don’t have to force anything. you don’t HAVE to impress me anymore than you already have. you’re cute … i like how you’re bumbling through this , it’s fucking adorable how you’re so nervous and fidgety. ❞ fingers by now tighten their hold upon hips ( such a contrast to his gentle words ). ❝ granted , i thought you were close to dying in the restaurant but you’re still here , telling me how attractive you find me. that’s progress. ❞
a soft laugh before tongue swipes across bottom tier , eyes narrowing but a tad , looking through hooded eyes at the other. ❝ practice makes perfect , baby. ❞ it’s whispered as one hand is REMOVED from hip to rest upon flushed cheek , back of his hand CAREFULLY gliding across skin. ❝ you just need some practice and i am here to teach you …. everything you need to know. how to make me happy and i will learn how to make you happy. we’re doing this together. it’s not a one-man game. ❞ how much of that was true though ? dropping hand from julian’s cheek do fingers find chin , ghosting across the soft skin under it , before using index finger to raise it up. heavy pause. ❝ remember what i said in the restaurant ? that i would do whatever you want ? that i am here to spoil you ? whether this is going to be strictly sexual or not is something we can decide later. and if you want me to kiss you – i will. but not now —-. ❞ head is moved EVER so close , his lips so very close to opposite pair , and when he speaks they touch ever so slightly. ❝ and not here , you have to earn it , baby. now — ! ❞ as if nothing happened does he let go of julian , moving away towards his car , unlocking it to open the passenger’s door. ❝ – shall we go home ? can’t wait to see how you’ll try to impress me. ❞ he’s DOWN RIGHT teasing julian ( eyes glinting , glossy brims finding their smile once more , this was his game after all ).
he’s out of his league , julian’s realizing as each word past jian’s lips only confirms his deepest fear . he had gotten brave , believed that confidence gained through people praising him over a screen was enough to impress someone like him , but he doesn’t even know where to start . a naive outlook on life mixed with the sexual implications of the relationship were , without a doubt , a recipe for disaster . julian would be added to a list of one nights , and all he’d have to remember it is his own passing humiliation at the reminders when the nights were long and sleep felt impossible as his head drowned in self doubt . he became someone else when it came to his side job , his little secret that gave him enough confidence to do as he pleased ; a sense of freedom that read that he couldn’t seem to grasp enough to mimic for his new audience .
“ but do you like fucking adorable ? “ hesitant question slips past before he can swallow down his own curiosity . “ i want - i want to be something you like . someone you don’t feel like you’re wasting time with . “ and right now definitely felt like that . jian could easily find another boy like julian , a boy nervous and eager to please ; julian needed to have a unique aspect about him . something special , something that made jian want him to stick around . his sexual confidence was his secret weapon , his ability to flip a switch and seem to catch himself so completely , but he was still struggling to pull it to the surface . he wanted to smack himself for fucking up , already ruining the nicest part of the night . it isn’t until the teasing that julian seems to really sink into it - a push , a confirmation that he needs to do better in order to get what he desires . eyes widen at the closeness , quickly followed by hooded eyes as he even stumbles forward , barely snapping out of his daze when jian pulls away . now ; now julian has a goal , and he’ll hate himself for the rest of eternity if he fails .
julian waits , his tongue tapping against his teeth as if attempting to open his mouth , get something out that would help him soound more appealing . foot tapping , he sucks in a breath . “ do you like when - when the boys you’re with are . . . good ? or do you like it when they go against you sometimes ? “ he tilts his head , curious eyes focusing on jian . “ i wanna impress you in the best way . i’m - “ he pauses , trying to snap himself into the ideal headspace . “ - i wanna make you feel good . better than anyone else has . i think i can , “ he adds confidently . “ i think i can be your favorite . i can really be whatever you want , you just have to tell me . “
