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so there’s this theory i have based on one single night of personal experience with a large dark field and lots of those flashy wind turbines that cows are aliens and they’re using the wind turbines to communicate with the mother ship and the cows are here to take over the human mind which is why baby cows and fluffy cows are so cute and why humans have been raising and eating cows and why people get so hyped over meat and specifically burgers and beef and dairy

and also there are so many cows and we’re expected to just believe that they lay around and do nothing all day and just LET US raise them to be mukduked and milked and stuff? i dont buy it

#cows are aliens #conspiracy #they're communicating #with space #through the wind turbines #moo #im a cow #cheese #milk #beef #burger #mind control #enslaving the world population #one burger at a time #cow

imagine a horror movie where all the sound effects are voiced by a person without any props or music or anything

*sketchy door opens in abandoned asylum* *30 yr old man voice* CREEEEEEEEEEAK *loudly shouting as the mc runs through the halls being chased by an axe-wielding madman* THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

#hello is anyone there #whooooosh #stabbing noises #squish #eats apple #crunch munch #this would be so funny #id pay money to watch #spongebob shoe noises #scary stuff

if i receive the death penalty and a life sentence do those cancel out?

#stuff to think about #imagine #hmmm #interesting #but imagine #if it did #but how #could you get both #maybe two crimes?#its weird

once my friends and i were planning on having a tea party in the guy’s hotel room later that night and we were gonna have a tea party and spill tea and order pizza and the parents sitting in front of us tried to get our party shut down bc they thought we were physically going to spill tea all over the hotel room and not in fact gossip like laundresses in the 15th century after a particularly scandalous outbreak of crabs.

#we still had the party #it was a good time #never have i ever #killed a man #tea party #spill the tea #tea #why would we waste perfectly good tea #lots of secrets #shared that night #very interesting

i wish that when a commercial asked you a question like “have you ever wanted to learn about _______!?” and you respond in the negative the commercial would just stop and move on to the next one

#im already answering #their stupid questions #at least listen #to what i say #screaming #at the tv #like a demon #you exist to serve me #all ads begone

have you ever been laying in bed and your blanket feels too short up your shoulder so you feel the edge and then untuck it because it's rolled over and you let out this cascade of blanket that was all tucked over and now you're cozy?

#stuff and nonsense #its weird #very cozy #sleep #slep #when you when #hows it going #melatonin thoughts

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