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@liddytheweeb
I played Subnautica yesterday (or was it the day before yesterday?) to break up the monotony of Borderlands 2, Max Payne 3, and Red Dead Redemption. I got almost as far as I wanted to, then the game crashed. Good timing. I needed to go to bed anyway.
"Naruto is trans," I say into the mic.
The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.
"He's right..... Believe it," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 3rd row stands sexy jutsu Naruto Uzumaki.
[ID: the meme of Marge Simpson holding a potato and saying "I just think they're neat." Marge has the label "Sasuke" to designate the character. The potato has a picture of a tomato instead, thus implying Sasuke thinks tomatoes are neat. END ID.]
he bites into them like apples.
something approaches from the darkness...
it’s rock lee autism creature!!!!
he has been summoned by the power of youth!!!
The Bisexual Disasters Of Naruto:
Keep reading
Whenever I see fanart of Modern! Sakura with the seal on her forehead, I like to imagine everyone thinks she's a delinquent for getting a face tattoo
Like, it makes me laugh so hard and very giddy because I love this idea of this stubborn young adult going into med school interviews with this tattoo and daring them to say anything
Some people think it's makeup or part of her religion, and nah. It's inspired by this older, alcoholic field doctor she met while taking part in underground cage fights. Tsunade didn't tell her she only got that tattoo because of a drunken bet
Neji: listens to Enya, The Cranberries, and Morrissey
Tenten: listens to Nicki Minaj, Megan Thee Stallion and P!nk
Lee: listens to disney songs, broadway musicals and boyband music from the late 90's
Gai: only has two songs on his ipod and they're "YMCA" and "Eye of the Tiger"
do u have any hc's for weird facts about the konoha 11 (+sasuke)?
Yes! These babies are full of weird lil quirks. -🦎
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Naruto
Will have mini existential crisis' over dumb things. "Why do we blend things if theyre just gonna get all mushed up in our stomachs anyway? Are blenders just mechanical teeth???"
Has awful impulse control. Not just in battle, but little things too. Unties every shoelace in reach. What sound will this make if I drop it? Pocket? Let me put my hand in it
Has to jump up to touch the doorframe before he can exit any room. He's that kid, and we all know it.
Sasuke
Mumbles things under his breath, esp if hes annoyed. "Shut up and pay for your groceries, Joyce, the cashier doesnt care about your dog's surgeries."
Takes forever to order when eating out. Nothing sounds good, but maybe if I reread the menu 4 more times something will?
Accidentally activates his sharigan when hes surprised. Wouldnt be a big deal, but when hes stuck in the market and dodging everyone dramatically for 20 minutes, it gets a little annoying.
Sakura
Squeals at all cute things. Could see a particularly tiny ladle for a dollhouse and break everyones eardrums from excitement
Looks off into pretend sitcom cameras when someone has said something particularly dumb to her. Sometimes even makes up a laughtrack in her head, just to recover from other's stupidity.
Uses every single dish in the kitchen when she cooks. Theres no way for her to make a meal without simultaneously making a huge mess
Ino
Stops to smell every flower she sees. Its in her genes and shes done it for as long as she can remember
Goes to stores just to put on formal dresses and look at herself. Then always goes home and cries because she'll never have anything to wear them to.
Sings in the shower. At the top of her lungs. Or has imaginary conversations with people, and gets internally annoyed when they dont stick to her script in real life.
Shikamaru
Cant eat at a restaurant without being able to see the door. Will literally wait an extra 20 min for the booth closest to the exit.
Makes shadow puppets in his room when he cant sleep. Would die if anyone found out, but he gets bored, okay?
Has the same glow in the dark stars on his ceiling from when he was 5. Hes too lazy to take them down, and Choji makes fun of him for it everytime he sees them
Choji
Can't clean unless there's music on. Doing laundry is impossible unless he's dancing along to whatever is on the radio
Takes 30 seconds to pick out an outfit but will stand with the fridge open for hours trying to figure out the best snack
Hates wearing socks by themselves. Theyre all the restriction of shoes with none of the protection. Either put shoes on, or dont, but dont get halfway there and give up.
Kiba
Doesnt know how to feel about foxes. He loves dogs, but hates cats and a fox is almost both??? So what do I do with this information? It literally keeps him up at night.
Trips people for fun. Wont actually try to make you fall, but cant help but stick his foot out if you walk past him
Uses Akamaru as a wingman. Nothing gets ladies more than a cute guy with a cute dog, so he might as well use that to his advantage
Hinata
Says "Ow" everytime she hears a loud noise. Wont even be hurt, just cant stop herself.
Goes through times where she has to completely rearrange her room. Feels like shes turned her life around by the time shes done, swears nothing will be messy again, and gives up on cleaning after 2 weeks.
Loves astrology, and has mini conversations about it in her head. "Sasuke has been super weird lately" "Well mercury is retrograde, sooo"
Shino
Owns 30 pairs of sunglasses but only wears 1. The others just sit in his dresser collecting dust because he convinced himself he'd start wearing them but never will
Yells at his bugs like theyre children. "Pincer if you dont stop throwing a temper tantrum right now, Ill got home"
Will never take the last of anything, but wont get rid of the container until its empty. Always has a mostly empty milk carton sitting in his fridge next to a full one, because theres still milk in there!!! I cant waste it!!!!
Lee
Literally hates sleeping. Its such a waste of perfectly good time. Just because its dark does not mean I cannot enjoy my youth!!
Discovers and drops hobbies in the blink of an eye. Has so many unfinished projects lying around, from half-finished novels to a sweater he tried knitting but gave up after one sleeve
Unironically gives people finger guns all the time. He tells a semi-decent joke? Finger guns. Sees someone training? Finger guns. Confesses his love? You guessed it. Finger. Guns.
Tenten
Puts a gold star on her bedroom mirror when she does a good job on a mission. Its like a visual reminder that shes important to her team.
Has to run her fingers along every fence she walks by. Its a subconscious thing she does, and she doesnt even know why.
Sleeps with a knife under her pillow. Not for protection, but just because shes emotionally attached to it. Its her pillow knife, and she loves it.
Neji
Pretends like he knows everything. Even if he doesn't. "Did you hear about what they said in the news?" "Of course I did." *runs away to check the paper*
Falls asleep in strange positions. Once he woke up with his legs straight up against the wall and couldn't walk for 10 minutes from the lack of bloodflow
Secretly loves gossip. Will eavesdrop on strangers conversations just for the tea *cue 'oh my god, they were roommates' vine*
“they’re a 10 but” naruto edition
naruto: he’s a 10 but still has to do the L hand trick every time he’s trying to distinguish his left and right
sakura: she’s a 10 but never takes her hair off the shower wall when she’s done and leaves it for the next person to find
kiba: he’s a 10 but he wears basketball shorts with an 11 inch inseam year round. like. no matter the weather
choji: he’s a 10 but still believes that paper is just thinly sliced tree and will never be genuinely convinced otherwise
tenten: she’s a 10 but will shamelessly read fanfiction and/or smut anywhere. even at the family function
shikamaru: he’s a 10 but his car radio is missing
lee: he’s a 10 but he can’t ever make it through a movie. he’ll just start snoring like an elephant halfway through
shino: he’s a 10 but wears the retainers he’s had since middle school religiously
sasuke: he’s a 10 but has no idea what a washing machine is. let alone a dryer.
ino: she’s a 10 but she never wakes up from her alarms so you just have to lay there and suffer while they go off
hinata: she’s a 10 but she never grew out of her musical.ly-2x-speed phase, so now her tiktoks look like they belong in 2016
neji: he’s a 10 but he has a severe peanut allergy.
***i just needed to get this out of my system y’all…!
Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men.
I’m confused, what is left…
Oh nvm lmao my brain. You right sis lol you is right
You really forgot your whole brain.
she read this post with her pussy
fyi things like insulin, hearing aids, wheelchairs, glasses costing money at all is a form of structural ableism
disabled people should not have to pay to live their lives like everyone else. and in the case of insulin, disabled people should not have to pay to Not Fucking Die
i think if you go to a hospital to get like surgery or urgent care and something embarrassing or weird etc happens to you and a nurse makes a tiktok about how embarrassing or weird you were and makes fun of you, you should be allowed to sue them. like actually. regardless of if they mention your name or not. you should be able to sue them
when i was at the hospital recently i had a pretty heavy emotional reaction to a relatively “minor” procedure and the whole time i was thinking how ridiculous it must’ve looked in the eyes of ppl who’d “seen worse” than what i was going through and idk if my own fucking caregiver started doing a tiktok dance to maroon 5 or whatever describing my situation and saying that i was “overreacting” to it i would just start summoning evil shadow skulls everywhere. the need to publicize our own lives everywhere in every detail has gotten so bad that patients at hospitals don’t know if the people that are there to help them here are gonna air out their dirty laundry on the stupid dance app to potentially billions of strangers once they’re out of earshot. how is that not borderline illegal. it should be. just describing it makes it clear that this is one of the most morally bankrupt, selfish, privacy-be-damned thing a healthcare worker could do to their patient. like. how is it not a crime. it’s fucked.
while i’m here i think one of the most cruel things i’ve ever seen come out of nurse tiktok is the “trend” of making jokes at the expense of elderly patients with dementia especially the ones that need assistance from a caregiver to do “basic” things. they constantly make fun of them for not being able to go to the restroom or bathe on their own etc and i cant even imagine how heartless of a person you’d have to be to pull something like that. wow you made a funny internet video on a person you’re there to help live their day to the best of their ability as their mind is deteriorating and they can’t even do anything to stop you from making fun of them!!! yayyy how funny. how silly. are you enjoying all the likes you’re getting. all the other attention from people just as vile as you. is it worth it. go to hell forever this is depraved behavior that i can’t even comprehend. how do people live with themselves after doing this.
This continues to go around and rightly so, so I'm gonna point out that in the US this is a direct violation of HIPAA. I wrote more about what that means and what you can do if your rights to privacy, explicitly protected by law, are violated.
your army is slaying absolute penis. now go forth and serve cunt
Me: this will be a one shot Steddie fic
Also me, sobbing as I write down another idea: WHY DOES MY ONE SHOT HAVE TWELVE CHAPTERS
i can never see myself going back to disposable pads after trying reusable pads. cloth pads are waay more absorbent, breathable and comfortable that i don’t feel like i have any pad on. i also thankfully dont get any rashes, redness or irritations from the cloth pads
i know it can be very intimidating to switch but at least try ONE PAD so you can try it before you judge it!
i second this! if your concern is changing while you’re out, then the pad can actually be folded like the photo below and it wont leak nor smell at all! you can keep it folded until you’re ready to clean it
for cleaning, i personally just put my used pad/s under the shower while i wait for hot water, then wash it with soap and air dry after. tip: if you really want to wash it thoroughly then you can wash it again with your regular clothes (i do this). it’s machine wash and dryer-friendly.
I NEED THESE
i recently switched to cloth pads and in addition to all the benefits listed above, there are also a bunch of cool prints available that give me a lil seratonin boost everytime i get to use a new one.
i mean, i get to have DRAGONS on my pads??? immaculate. 100000/10 would recommend
i think one the biggest “quality of life” change for me is how comfortable cloth pads are. i always make it a point to wear pantyliners three days before my period is due to ensure that im protected and covered and cloth pads is basically like wearing nothing while disposable pads feel so itchy, hot and just terrible in total.
tmi but today is actually my first day of period and i didnt even realize it because i just had a pantyliner and it’s been holding up well. my mood has changed dramatically since i changed because im less irritable. i really recommend this
yamato: i’m not like kakashi. i’m not gonna “take care” of you. we can’t allow ourselves compassion
the kids, after yamato saves their lives, buys them dinner, builds them a mansion, and tucks them into bed: sounds fake but okay
