Life According to Chris

Hey Hey. Chris. 22. Queer. Poly.

[lifeaccordingtochristopher]

@moonrise-and-late-nights​ @marmoney​ @keralafacts-blog​ @bmerup22​ @bumazhnovaf19m​ @norsemantheviking​ @xschng​ @transientboy​ @64deviant​ @levicashfan​ @tidefiks​ @wodening​ @marclikestorawr​ @rowanisarebel​ @journeytotheskye​ @everchanging-spectrum-of-a-lie​ @guidetoprepping​ @agentochange​ @itskimmuh-blog​ @putridscum77​ @weretheworldours​ @glitterandmarmite​ @joemusashi-blog​ @lesbiansthatlookliketintin-blog​ @saragorn-blog​ @inthenightlikeathief​ @marchingbandproblems-blog-blog​ @phil9413-blog​ @crorpborbkala-blog​ @interactive-blow-jobs​ @mynameismitten​ @tonightwewillthrowingapart-blog1​

[lifeaccordingtochristopher]

@moonrise-and-late-nights​ @marmoney​ @keralafacts-blog​ @bmerup22​ @bumazhnovaf19m​ @norsemantheviking​ @xschng​ @transientboy​ @64deviant​ @levicashfan​ @tidefiks​ @wodening​ @marclikestorawr​ @rowanisarebel​ @journeytotheskye​ @everchanging-spectrum-of-a-lie​ @guidetoprepping​ @agentochange​ @itskimmuh-blog​ @putridscum77​ @weretheworldours​ @glitterandmarmite​ @joemusashi-blog​ @lesbiansthatlookliketintin-blog​ @saragorn-blog​ @inthenightlikeathief​ @marchingbandproblems-blog-blog​ @phil9413-blog​ @crorpborbkala-blog​ @interactive-blow-jobs​ @mynameismitten​ @tonightwewillthrowingapart-blog1​

[lifeaccordingtochristopher]

@moonrise-and-late-nights​ @marmoney​ @keralafacts-blog​ @bmerup22​ @bumazhnovaf19m​ @norsemantheviking​ @xschng​ @transientboy​ @64deviant​ @levicashfan​ @tidefiks​ @wodening​ @marclikestorawr​ @rowanisarebel​ @journeytotheskye​ @everchanging-spectrum-of-a-lie​ @guidetoprepping​ @agentochange​ @itskimmuh-blog​ @putridscum77​ @weretheworldours​ @glitterandmarmite​ @joemusashi-blog​ @lesbiansthatlookliketintin-blog​ @saragorn-blog​ @inthenightlikeathief​ @marchingbandproblems-blog-blog​ @phil9413-blog​ @crorpborbkala-blog​ @interactive-blow-jobs​ @mynameismitten​ @tonightwewillthrowingapart-blog1​

[lifeaccordingtochristopher]

@moonrise-and-late-nights​ @marmoney​ @keralafacts-blog​ @bmerup22​ @bumazhnovaf19m​ @norsemantheviking​ @xschng​ @transientboy​ @64deviant​ @levicashfan​ @tidefiks​ @wodening​ @marclikestorawr​ @rowanisarebel​ @journeytotheskye​ @everchanging-spectrum-of-a-lie​ @guidetoprepping​ @agentochange​ @itskimmuh-blog​ @putridscum77​ @weretheworldours​ @glitterandmarmite​ @joemusashi-blog​ @lesbiansthatlookliketintin-blog​ @saragorn-blog​ @inthenightlikeathief​ @marchingbandproblems-blog-blog​ @phil9413-blog​ @crorpborbkala-blog​ @interactive-blow-jobs​ @mynameismitten​ @tonightwewillthrowingapart-blog1​

[entierradefrikis]

[fuzzynecromancer]

There is no unskilled labor, only undervalued skills.

[thingsorganizedneatly]

Take pride in your work. Very satisfying. 

[entierradefrikis]

[fuzzynecromancer]

There is no unskilled labor, only undervalued skills.

[thingsorganizedneatly]

Take pride in your work. Very satisfying. 

[graceisanocean]

I just want to be better than I was yesterday

[kaliforhnia]

At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.

[toriroz]

Spyro mask is doooooone! Here’s some close up detail shots with decent lighting for once. Mask is made with minky fabric, upholstery foam base, moving jaw, airbrush detail and toony eyes.

Bottom is before and after airbrushing. I love these comparison photos too much. Above is before airbrush and bottom is with airbrush. Granted the lighting is different but the purple highlights and shadows seem subtle but really make the features pop. Also, the airbrushing helped to take the gloss off the minky fabric so it photographs better.

[attvckedbylvfe]

[turntoturnover-deactivated20250]

[witlovesyou]

[aspie-os]

southern memes:

•having literal pastures next to your school •“there’s a half inch of snow we must close schools” •dinky snowmen built out of said half inch of snow •those shirts that girls wear with leggings and boots that say things like “tea drinkin’, jesus lovin’ southern girl” •texas •"what accent? i don’t have an accent" •cicadas •high school football •people getting mugged at rivaling high school football games •monogrammed EVERYTHING •those small town boutiques where everything is pink and green polka dots or chevron print with letters on it •going to smaller towns and people acting like they’ve never seen unnaturally dyed hair before reblog with other Southern Memes

[cometcrystal]

if you dont like sweet tea you can fuck yourself

[ghcstxbcy]

when someone asks “can you go grab me a Coke” they could mean literally any carbonated beverage you just learn to roll with it

“over yonder”

if you don’t know the layout of the town from the last twenty years good luck with any directions you’re given by a local

[gildedbarbarian]

- being able to identify what part of the state someone is from entirely by their accent

- “fixin’ to”

- beauty pageants 

- the most god-awful and ridiculous names you’ve ever heard in the history of ever (they’re family names. don’t insult them. just smile and accept it.) 

- church on every block (this is not, strictly speaking, a hyperbole. it is very true)

- this has already been said, but let me reiterate: sweet tea 

- passive aggression 

- “bless your heart” 

- two-part names. (mary ann, ann marie, sarah jane, etc.) 

[gildedbarbarian]

Grits. I’m mad at myself for forgetting this the first time so I had to make a big deal about it and reblog again. G R I T S 

[ghcstxbcy]

- college football loyalties that can and will break a family

- “______ than a ______” but never pronounced properly i.e. “i’m madder’n a hornet”

- bama. not Alabama. just. bama.

- if you didn’t join a sorority, did you even really go to college?

- we all know a mary katherine/kathryn and she was either the nicest person you ever met or basically the emodiment of evil

- “i tell you what” is a complete thought

[doctorsuperthiddyholmes]

-fried okra

-collared greens (colla’d greens)

-FRICKING CHUBBIES (the shorts)

-you call someone “ma'am” or “sir” down here and it’s considered polite but you call someone from up north that and they think you’re calling them old or some other insult

-Georgia pronounced like “jaw-ja” with no r

[sister-stress-deactivated202311]

-Sonic happy hour

-camo

-the trains rolling through at the most inconvenient times like we legit had a train come through during my cousins graduation and the ceremony halted for like ten minutes

-standing outside during tornados with your neighbors just like looking at the clouds 

-cutoffs, mullets, and cowboy boots

-ur mom probably has a Wall of Crosses in her house

-the answer to “what did u do this weekend/over break” is literally always, “we went to the lake”

-also like u don’t even have to name a specific lake everyone just knows

-mason jars everywhere

-two seasons: the Long Winter and Satan’s Asscrack

[memento-scribet]

- Those “Summer in [insert state here]” pictures everybody and their great aunt share on facebook.

- When your accent gets stronger when you are trying to be polite.

- So many Civil War Memorials. So many.

- Junk sculptures in front yards.

- That one yard with all the cars in it.

- That one store/house with all the metal signs plastered all over it.

- This sign:

[dndiva]

- Antique stores. So many antique stores

- Barbecue restaurants EVERYWHERE

- “We go to the church on the hill”….. “Which hill?”

- Cows getting loose and chilling in the middle of the road

- Everything can be fixed with WD-40 and/or duct tape

- “It’s so good it’ll make you wanna slap your mama”

- Accent intensifies when you’re around other people with said accent

- Accent also intensifies when you’re yelling about something

- I personally like to call people “jackwagon” when they do something stupid. That could just be me though

[dungeons-and-dice-bags]

-The Celebration (if your from Walking Horse Territory)

-Drive your tractor to school day 

 -Town History Celebrations (Our’s is called Old Timer’s Day) with a parade through town 

-High School Homecoming Parades 

-Just parades…they happen for everything 

-Eclectic festivals (My personal favorite is the RC and Moonpie) 

-Pulling over for funerals 

-Hanging in the “insert grocery store chain here” parking lot 

 -“You wanna take this behind the Co-op?“ 

 -ville is always pronounced -vull

[dndiva]

I can’t believe @memento-amare and I forgot:

- Dollar General stores everywhere

- Piggly Wiggly

- Save a Lot

- Vera Bradley

- Sundrop and Coca-Cola cake

- Banana pudding at every potluck ever. With Nilla Wafers

- Real moonshine. Like the moonshine you get when you know a guy who knows a guy

- Confederate flags and “Rebel Girl” tshirts

- Very large, very loud trucks

[memento-scribet]

- Bama Fever and Tiger Pride stores

- That little drawing of a clown on the back of Golden Flake chip bags that tells you to put your garbage in the trash

- Shur Fine is more than just a vague answer y’all it is a generic brand lol

- Houndstooth everything

- Boiled peanuts in every gas station. Like in a crock pot ready to be sold by the cup.

[thatgaybitxh-deactivated2025062]

@stephaniie-brown this made me realize u probably have an accent

[sqoiler]

-brisket

-other people’s impression of “mexican food” vs real mexican food

-(go to the sketcy dives if you want real mexcian food, fyi)

-hating all other southern states

- “i live closer to mexico then i do a place that actively gets snow”

-”it never snows here” “YES IT DOES IT SNOWED FOR 3.4 MINUTES THREE YEARS AGO AT 9:43:02 ON JANUARY 22″ 

-y’all

-flannel + cowboy boots

-you always know three people with horses. even if you don’t know that you know, trust me you know them

-those people who live four hours away from everyone and they have chickens

[sqoiler]

-hayrides at Halloween, the hayrides are haunted

[finnglas]

Oh my God I feel so at home right now. How about:

- Cole slaw.

- Cousins. So many cousins. Everybody knows everybody else’s cousins. Some people you’re not actually sure are related, maybe just old friends of the family, but they’re all cousins.

- (This leads to some very interesting conversations when you’re not sure if someone is dating their actual-factual cousin – cause they might be! – or just someone they’ve known since they were in diapers.)

- “knee high to a grasshopper”

- Everybody has at least one asshole uncle that used to make you cry for fun when you were a kid and no one takes your hatred for him seriously.

- Saying some non-swear (”dang!” “this sucks” etc.) and one of your older relatives responding immediately, “Watch your language!”

- Church’s fried chicken. Like, forget KFC, if you don’t have Church’s, don’t talk to me.

- Speaking of church: everybody goes, whether you want to or not. If you skip church, be prepared for at least four people to stop you in the grocery store on Monday and say, “I missed you at church this week! Is everything okay?” which is just a passive-aggressive way of saying “You nasty backsliding sinner, you skipped church to fornicate, didn’t you”

- The people who fornicate without skipping church. Usually the pastor’s kid. In a broom closet or a Sunday school room.

- Red dirt roads.

- That one gas station/convenience store out in the middle of fucking nowhere that has a cafe with the best fucking food you’ve ever eaten, and you have no idea how, because it’s literally just one old lady cooking in the middle of a cow pasture.

- Thinking you’re getting sweet, sweet turnip greens but it turns out to be bitter-as-fuck collard or mustard greens. Blech.

- Country Crock not-butter. And five more Country Crock margarine tubs that no longer contain margarine but any variety of leftovers or sewing supplies.

- Velvet paintings.

- Lay-Z-Boy recliners that will eat your hand as soon as you sit in them.

- That cold snap that always happens on Easter weekend after you went and bought a cute new springtime dress. It doesn’t matter if it was 80 degrees two days before, on Easter, it’s gonna be cold as hell.

- Everyone acting like Sweet Home Alabama is the national anthem. Even if you don’t live in Alabama.

- Everyone in town knows that one person is gay and totally judges them for it privately, but politely never brings it up in public because “they’re a good kid.”

[just-shower-thoughts]

Sometimes people may be asking a question thats easy to find the answer to on Google not because they are lazy but because they actually want to communicate with someone.

[justiceleague]

[isildur-elessar]

“I heard a joke once…”