[justnoodlefishthings]

honestly fuck viruses they’re not even alive they’re just strands of punk ass DNA that go around fucking up us normal and god fearing life forms you don’t even have a nucleus you stupid bacteriophage looking horizontally transmitting RNA clump

[childhoodruiner]

[snackwizard]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[wildlyannoyingdoofus]

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

[snackwizard]

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

[808lien]

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

[maramahan]

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

[jkl-fff]

[scottjate]

This is so important

[swarnpert]

i was never taught the little song about which months have how many days so ive basically just been guessing my whole life

[sandandglass]

[icare4you-deactivated20240102]

I need some attention but leave me alone

[notherenottherenotanymore]

If you tried to live on iceburg lettuce alone, you would have to eat 34 heads of lettuce daily and you would spend $17,551 annually before dying of multiple nutrient deficiencies.

[tlredgravity-deactivated2017081]

why was this calculated

[ps1]

[fllops]

ㅤ

[just-shower-thoughts]

Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.

[mlmlmlmlmlmlmlmlmlml-deactivate]

[lyjerria]

ain’t nothing wrong with starting over

[flyngdream]

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

Niggas will check in only to see if they still have control of you and your feelings.

[cocodimplez]

Where is the lie?

[photo-reactive-deactivated20171]

Mercado do Bolhão, Porto by Henri Cartier-Bresson

[corduroyserpent]

[sharmakeswife-deactivated201809]

i urge you to seek comfort in the fact that everything in the universe is subtly interconnected. it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to but you’ll end up where you need to be. keep your head up.

[lohver]

you deserve to never have to guess how much you mean to somebody.