I never knew loneliness until I realized you weren't real.

Kade/KM || 36 || Taurus filipino american || he/him writing & art; originally a multifandom blog bluesky: lifeiszesty || sideblog: @lifeiszestyy pfp drawn by @juliettelime banner drawn by me feel free to message me or tell me to tag things!

[lifeiszestywriter]

New Year, New Username

heyo, i’m back. i’ll be slowly working on this blog, but i definitely wanted to shift to using this specific blog for posting my writing and art

my name is Kade! i’m 36 years old, and i’m slowly getting my life back together after a long time of being a lil slime. i’ve got many, many ocs, and i must share them 👀

current major projects are: sparkle star galaxy (super mario fanproject) and personal original stories

Sparkle Star Galaxy masterpost

blog content: original writing, original characters, fanfiction. sparkle star galaxy is a pg rated project, but my other personal content definitely veers towards a mature rating depending on which cast of characters i’m working with

the original name for this blog was lexicallight!

other places to find me:

sideblog: @lifeiszestyy

bluesky: lifeiszesty

twitter: lifeiszestyy

ao3: lifeiszesty

i’ll be updating this as i post more 💕

12/25/2024: all 2024 drabbles have been uploaded! one longer story will be uploaded sometime next year

[lifeiszestywriter]

Love Love 2026 💕

Well, well, well, I'm back doodling my OCs.

First is a Valentine's Day card for my sister @juliettelime who requested my OC, Tanner, my food-obsessed boy who definitely doesn't have anything wrong or strange about him. He's just a guy who loves giving food-related nicknames to everyone he meets.

Second are my love love OCs! Yngvi is the great spirit of love, Aurora is the human incarnation of the goddess Eos, and Vesper is the god of the evening star. They each love my OC, Kade (Aurora loves him platonically). They wish you joy in your life, whatever that looks like for you.

[lifeiszestywriter]

2025 Writing Snippets

I decided to live, so here I am, yay!

"Tell Them How It Ended" is an unfinished series of scenes based on @/rahrah's TTRPG of the same name. I wasn't feeling mentally well in uhhh late January, so I wrote a bunch of scenes of my self-insert OC, Kade, with several characters he's in a relationship in. I like all the scenes I wrote, but these two, Sid and Epiales, made me weep.

Of course, "Aeternitas" is back. I call this an epilogue, but I lied to myself. In April, I wrote a few scenes between Kade and Saleh (from Tales of Rebirth 😳). I just really like difficult characters.

"Starpoints Academy" was a really involved high school AU that I made for my Aeternitas OCs. I made a whole dice rolling system and everything so that I could randomize scenes. It was both terrible and exhilarating. I only wrote one school week before I was exhausted.

"help, my poetry was published in june, but I was too depressed to notice til september" was just me having a mental breakdown in the form of a poem. "my heart is full of you" is a poem I wrote after playing @loveafterdeath-if because i had way too many feelings about both this game and my own OCs.

"2025 Drabbles" is the continuation of my Sparkle Star Galaxy project, specifically my self-imposed challenge of writing a scene about a character on their birthday. Beau is my OC, and Seth is my sister's @juliettelime OC.

Anyway, I decided to embrace full cringe with the last scene. I just really love Zelos, he really is my number one. It's not just that he's my comfort character, but the idea of him helped pull me through every major terrible event of my life since 2004. Something about knowing his trauma helped me through my own trauma.

And so, I've decided to keep living. Let's keep going.

[2024] [2023] [2022] [2021]

[lifeiszestywriter]

2025 Art Summary

File too big lmao. I focused more on my writing this year, so I mostly just doodled in my notebook. Overall, I'm a lot happier this year than last year. I don't have an audience, so posting regularly makes me enter a very fatalistic spiral that I dislike. I'm very well aware that I don't make much of an effort to connect with anyone. Unfortunately, since this is due to trauma, it's actually really difficult for me to overcome.

In general, I love talking to people! I love talking about games/books/movies!

[2024] [Template]

[lifeiszestywriter]

Art vs Artist 2025

i focused more on my writing this year, but i will always be doodling my OCs

[2024]

[lifeiszestywriter]

2025 playlist

And I want someone to love me different: A playlist of wishes and demands for things to be better

I have a lot of love and nowhere to put it, so I give it to my OCs and my favorite characters. Clockwise from the top right: Zelos (Symphonia), my OCs Chase, Orazio, Sapphira, Lyon (The Sacred Stone), Dist (Abyss), Saleh (Rebirth) my OCs Oreste, Vesper, Epiales, Casper (A Date with Death), and Henry (Awakening).

Change is coming, whether your eyes are open or closed.

[2024]

[lifeiszestywriter]

✨Me and my sweetest lil sis💕

Wow! I've known @juliettelime her whole life and now we're both old! 🤔 nothing brought us closer than playing mario games, making ocs together, and bonding over similar woes.

Proud of you, bb 🥺

[lifeiszestywriter]

*Happy Birthday to my favorite little sister of all time, @juliettelime !!

She asked for Shane Stardew Valley and my OC Dex dressed as Spamton for Halloween. As a bonus, I drew Dex with his best friend Scott as children going trick-or-treating as Spamton and Tenna.

[lifeiszestywriter]

[Hexis OCs] Happiest birthday to the girl of all time, Sapphira💕

When I first starting writing her, she was just there for exposition, to explain the lore and to be a stabilizing background character. Every single theme I associate with her now, the yearning, the heartbreak, pushing down her own whimsy in order to be more in control, the recurring symbolism of moonlight, it all came through just by writing a character that only had a couple of established personality traits. She shot straight up through my hierarchy of favorite characters, and I care about her so, so much.

I actually doodled this in my notebook last year, but Kade has changed quite a bit since then.

[lifeiszestywriter]

✨It's my birthday✨

Here's a series of chibis I doodled last year that I ran out of energy before I could upload all of them. Obviously the little prince in the middle of each image is my self-insert, Kade. Everyone else except those in the the last image is part of Kade's big polycule, the inner circle. The OCs in the last image are platonic/familial friends. It's outdated now, and I have to rearrange some characters and add a few more and probably just redraw all of them, but here they are! my sweeties

~OCs under the cut~

The Center: Kade

Ring 1: Orazio, Sapphira, Vesper, Morpheus, Epiales

Ring 2: Adel, Ciarán, Konru, Null, Yngvi

Ring 3: Harmony, Benoit, Brendan, David, Lucas, Alistair, Sean

Ring 4: Tony, Dana, Nestor, Vince, Hawthorne

Ring 5: Vijaya, Coby, Nergüi, Coatl, Hector, Pisti, Feather

Ring 6: Marius, Duncan, Stargazer, Sabellius, Otos

Ring 7: Eve, Azaliya, Philibert, Gen

Ring 8: Candy, Winter, Chase, Sidney, Dario

Ring 9: Bata, Kóri, Tanner, Dex, Vito, Dietrich, Fabian, Amy

[juliettelime]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SIBLING @lifeiszestyy here are some goofy sketches of our mario ocs from this year and last year cuz i forgot to post last year's lol 🌟

instagram | bluesky | portfolio | etsy

[lifeiszestyy]

✨OH MY STARS✨

[lifeiszestywriter]

I guess I'm just gonna lock my fanfic for the foreseeable future oops. I should have done so before, but idk...

[bribun96]

AO3 has been scraped, once again.

As of the time of this post, AO3 has been scraped by yet another shady individual looking to make a quick buck off the backs of hardworking hobby writers. This Reddit post here has all the details and the most current information. In short, if your fic URL ends in a number between 1 and 63,200,000 (inclusive), AND is not archive locked, your fic has been scraped and added to this database.

I have been trying to hold off on archive locking my fics for as long as possible, and I've managed to get by unscathed up to now. Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I am archive locking all of my current and future stories. I'm sorry to my lovelies who read and comment without an account; I love you all. But I have to do what is best for me and my work. Thank you for your understanding.

[lifeiszestywriter]

What's so wrong with writing out a fantasy for myself?

[Hexis OCs] Here's the boy, it's Kade! He used to be a prince, but he's shifted into something of a cleric, something like an acolyte. It's been nearly four years since I started writing my self-indulgent self-insert story, Lost Souls, and he's changed a lot. I put too much of myself into him. I took his name for myself. I don't know, he's constantly evolving, and I think that's pretty cool.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility, it's hard for me to be visible, but I'm still here, and I'm still alive.

[lifeiszestywriter]

and it's—love

[Hexis] A poem I wrote in 2022. I shared it on bluesky, and I can't remember if I ever shared it here.

My story "Lost Souls" was a self-indulgent adventure romance story I was writing about my self-insert OC, Kade. I wanted to write about him smooching my favorite characters, not my other OCs, but he ended up entangled with a lot of people. I guess it was kind of a power fantasy tailored for me, but I couldn't sustain it, and it ended in November 2022. I wrote this poem in the aftermath about the OCs I was the most interested in pairing Kade with at the time and what their relationship was at that time.

But I ended up dragging the characters back into a series of hobbled-together drabbles in a document I labeled "Aeternitas," and some of these dynamics have shifted dramatically. I'm planning on adapting what's most interesting to me into a series of fairy tales that I would like to share.

I love these characters.

[lifeiszestywriter]

transcript:

and it’s–love

kade’s love is a wavering voice, echoing, solo a solitary figure, a candlelit silhouette trembling hands and a quivering lip, grief unmasked within eyes trailed on the ground a repetitive whisper said in shallow breaths mind trapped in daydream a troubled love

orazio’s love is a patient, guiding hand, a compass to show the way “open your eyes—look, and when you’re ready, i’ll be here and when you retreat, i’ll still be here” the absent comfort i crave my ideal love

sapphira’s love is a firm grasp, a steadfast rock amid crashing waves a flood of emotions behind a careful facade boiling water in a cast iron skillet sentimental only in action, not words dependable and brilliant my watchful love

vince’s love is skin on skin on skin always the explorer, tracing a map with his fingers everywhere, undaunted, seeking heat like a missile a wolf in sheep’s clothing, wanting to devour quiet in daylight, screaming in moonlight aching with desire my insatiable love

adonis’s love is joy—unfiltered everything small is something to behold everything large proves that we’re connected to treasure life—to celebrate, to cheer both success and failure a smile bright as the sun my golden love

hawthorne’s love is a soft blanket, comforting and warm, lulling me to sleep a distant, hazy dream of being a child who is protected, praised, loved unconditionally a hug—a reminder that i am not alone a sweet kindness my gentle love

dana’s love is a tight hug and soft kisses unrestrained affection, unashamed like a bonfire in winter, burning bright, a hot drink in the night, and laughter that erupts from the joy of connecting fingers intertwined my affectionate love

tony’s love is a shadow behind a shy smile quiet and cautious, waiting his turn not wanting to be intrusive, poise that hides a sincere desire to be close, closer maybe closer, perhaps, if invited a soft whisper from behind my sweet love

hector’s love is a hug from behind, sudden but not unwanted, cheek against cheek gliding through the air—not flying comfortable familiarity after hours of laughing forehead against forehead, nose rubbing nose trying to play it cool my reliable love

ciarán’s love is rooted deep in the soil, a community, tangled and supportive a crown of antlers marks him as a leader and he loves as he rules—gracious, dedicated strong arms, steady—rough hands, tender always the protector my unbound love

konru’s love is lava beneath a glacier, fire behind the cold mask, a glow in the cracks a cool chill like a barrier against pain, hiding a desire, once released, will overflow ice that wishes to melt, to feel, to burn a yearning breath my guarded love

yngvi’s love is the aching of muscles, the sheen of sweat exposed to the night air hair that tickles the skin, lips that trail down back arching in pleasure like a bridge leading to heaven husky words like a mantra in your ear enticing you over the edge my ardent love

morpheus’s love is an old film reel, a jumble of memories and dreams stitched together a frankenstein strip of images made with good intentions he hides behind a body, cold and hard like marble eyes closed, ever sleeping, hands in repose could i wake him with a kiss? my dream-like love

vesper’s love—is he capable of love? does he know what “love” is? what it means? how it feels?—he has stored it away under lock and key, a music box within a treasure box, deep in the caverns of a hollowed out heart i have the key my twilit love

epiales’s love—sunken in the mire of fear and loathing the flickering image of a love long gone ghosts made in mockery, singing taunts, reaching out confusing desire with devour, mixing pleasure with pain twisting ecstasy into terror, silent screams dissolving into shadow my nightmare love

otos’s love—a love amidst rubble, a ruby to be found after digging through debris he’s driven to destruction, but there’s more under layers and layers of fortification swinging justifications like a bat, like a hammer if you learned to control… my wild love

eve’s love—light drowning in dusk, claws that sink into the skin, dragging you to hell desperation masked by deranged laughter drawing blood with her fingertips, inelegant watching for a reaction, delighting in sobs she’s hungry my selfish love

echo’s love—gasps that struggle to stay quiet a shaky smile that comes unbidden grasping the bedsheets wishing it was a throat resentment and pleasure, anger and lust repetitive scenarios played over and over crying in the darkness a despondent love

[lifeiszestywriter]

and it's—love

[Hexis] A poem I wrote in 2022. I shared it on bluesky, and I can't remember if I ever shared it here.

My story "Lost Souls" was a self-indulgent adventure romance story I was writing about my self-insert OC, Kade. I wanted to write about him smooching my favorite characters, not my other OCs, but he ended up entangled with a lot of people. I guess it was kind of a power fantasy tailored for me, but I couldn't sustain it, and it ended in November 2022. I wrote this poem in the aftermath about the OCs I was the most interested in pairing Kade with at the time and what their relationship was at that time.

But I ended up dragging the characters back into a series of hobbled-together drabbles in a document I labeled "Aeternitas," and some of these dynamics have shifted dramatically. I'm planning on adapting what's most interesting to me into a series of fairy tales that I would like to share.

I love these characters.

[lifeiszestywriter]

🍆x🥜

Happy Valentine's Day, I doodled this last night 😂 Here's Otos, who calls Kade "peanut," and Kade, who calls Otos "big squash."

format from here!