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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG.
I'm Chase, 35, any pronouns but mostly go by they/them, and this is my sideblog for nsfw, gore, dark content etc. My main is @masschase so any likes or follows from there are me! I'm a writer, artist and roleplayer.
This blog is mostly dedicated to my ocs and original projects, particularly my story Human Nature that I hope to one day develop into a visual novel.
Guide to my projects and tags with links under the cut!
Human Nature is a Visual Novel/Murder Sim that's going to remain in early development for some time until I'm more confident with my art. However I write and draw bits and pieces for it a lot and I LOVE talking about the world and my characters! Please send me asks any time! 😊
Character tags: All characters(needs updating), Epiphany, Phi, Hope, Rahim, Theo, Azazel, Wasei, Jevaun, Leilana.
My murder OC Tallulah is from the same universe but not in Human Nature at present, I'm planning a different project for her. I have a newer OC Lucien who also has a separate project planned, but for the moment I'm still developing his character.
My shared universe stuff with @cptsadist is called Sadistic By Nature, it's a combination of Human Nature and some of their projects! I still need to do a master post but so far I have Arc 1(stuff I wrote during GoreKinktober '24) and Arc 2(Feb-May '25) and am writing Arc 3(will be posted during GoreKinktober '25). Any art collabs (atm stuff they've drawn and I've coloured) are here.
I also have Thicker Than Water which is an undefined vampire-related project but for now it'll just be individual fics. Main characters are Llewellyn, his love interest Miles and his sister Olivia.
I did a pretty big October event in 2024 that I called GoreKinktober, I'm planning to do it again this year, I've got prompts anyone can use if you click the tag!
I have also written content for Boyfriend to Death so while I'm not doing that so much at the moment I thought I'd stick the tag here. My most popular fics are Petals of Nerium(Lawrence Oleander x Reader) on AO3 and Will Leave The Whole World Blind(Strade x Ren x Reader) on here, though I've given AO3 links for both because I tend to edit/update more on there!
The Price Of Flesh | Explicit | Derek Goffard x Original Female Character | AO3 Version | Full Description and Chapter One
Chapter 11/16: Trust
<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter Sept 2026 ->
Sable is left to deal with the aftermath of her altercation with Derek. But what she comes across forces her to rethink her priorities a little. Note: Hi! I'm still working on this but much slower! Chapter 12 will also be up in the next couple of months, but since the actual writing's been on hold, the rest I'm unsure about at present.
This fucking hurts, it fucking hurts, it fucking hurts. The pain alone threatens to shut her down, but she can do this, she has to stop the bleeding or an already painful wound could suddenly become a lot more deadly.
Like what she'd done to Komodo, and Dragon, and now maybe Derek, too.
She couldn't let the trauma distract her, she couldn't let the pain distract her, she was useless to herself and everyone else if she just stayed here in the fissure bleeding out. She had to get on with it, power through stubbornly, like...
Like her mom, actually. Her mom who... would probably be horrified that she had just stabbed someone. Would probably be so disappointed that she'd slept with that same someone the previous day after what she'd seen him do. It turns her stomach, she blows a breath out softly as she tries to keep pushing through.
She tugs her tank top off and lays it across her lap so it doesn't go on the dusty ground of the fissure area, as it seems enough of an infection risk as it is. She tugs the jagged tip of the knife up to poke through the thin fabric. At least she definitely knew how to cut up a shirt.
Sable grunts and groans exasperatedly as she tries to pull her shirt back down. It's barely covering her bra, she didn't want it anywhere near this short.
"Hey, you okay sweetie?" asks a voice from the doorway. Great, she'd took so long trying to make it work that her mom had spotted her. She grabs her hoodie and begins pulling it on, disguising her mistake.
"Yeah I'm... fine." she huffs, leaning closer towards the mirror and adjusting her short bangs, also cut herself. She was going through a slightly experimental phase with her appearance. She wanted to fit in, she wanted to be unique... it wasn't like she could truly "rebel" either when both of her parents were, she now realised, "alternative", or as most people in her class would put it, "fucking weirdos".
"Sabe, c'mon, what's up?" they ask softly, hovering a little closer.
"Ugh, fine." Sable complains, turning to her parent with the hoodie still unzipped, and pulling at the hem of her top again to show her. "I just wanted to crop my shirt a little but it's rolled right up."
"Oh, yeah..." her mom says with an almost apologetic grimace. "It'll do that if you cut against the knit like that without a hem." Sable couldn't really sew very well, who could even fucking sew these days? Maybe people who had it as a hobby, but if she was going to use her hands, Sable vastly preferred taking things apart andputting them back together. Well... sometimes putting them back together, anyway. "I can probably get it down to my seamstress to twin needle it for you, but it'll take a couple of days, we've got a project for Luca Fein on the go."
"You're... working with Luca Fein?" Sable asks, catching how impressed she sounds and blocking it off with self-disgust. Some of the people her mom worked with were just barely known influencers or people in the movie industry, but when it was actual rock stars, it was hard not to pay attention. "Not the point, why are you offering to help me, mom? I thought you'd freak about this."
"About... you wearing a cropped shirt?" her mom asks, raising both eyebrows as they tug at the hem of their own. Sable guessed she hadn't really thought about that since they had some fishnet thing underneath it so the amount of skin shown wasn't as evident. She used to think the way her parents dressed was so awesome, but nowadays it was evident it was extremely uncool. "I think you're good, kiddo." Diffused from her huffiness by her mom's gentle handling of the situation, Sable folds her arms, looking at them.
"Would you... be mad if I used your fabric scissors to do it?" she asks, figuring she might as well admit it sooner rather than later, picking them up off the table and holding them out. Her mom shakes their head, taking the scissors back and tossing them back and forth in their hands.
"Well... uh..." they sigh, smiling slightly though there's a hint of concern, swallowing hard as they look over the sharp implement. "I'm... kind of worried about the fact you could've hurt yourself, but I'm also vaguely impressed you bothered to get the right tools." They pause, looking over the pile of clothes beside her. "Did you... have other options for shirts you wanted to do this with?"
"Oh..." Sable replies, her guilt diffused by her mom's genuine curiosity. She picks out a green top she really liked with a large monochrome lion printed on the front. "Well this one was my second choice."
"Cool, okay, put it on, we'll see what we're working with." her mom suggests. Sable hesitates, but then pulls off her hoodie, turning away from her mom a little self-consciously to pull her current shirt off and replace it with the other, before turning back to them expectantly. "Now, you don't have to cut to crop it you know, you could just tuck the bottom up." her mom explains. "But this is a really cute way to get it to stay." They hold the shirt far away from Sable's skin, their own hand sitting protectively underneath, and begin to cut a line upward around her hip area.
"Mom that's not at the center." she begins to complain, not that she really knows what they're even trying to do.
"You can do a version at the centre, but either way, you have to make sure you cut in the direction of the knit so it doesn't roll, see?" they explain. "Plus if you cut a little less than you think, you can always cut more." True to their word, they only go up a few inches before placing the scissors down, tying the two sides into a knot, and then rolling them up neatly inside. Sable surveys it uncertainly.
"I don't know mom, it looks kinda..." she comments, turning to the mirror to look. "Oh that's... that's cute." she admits as she actually sees it. She admits, she'd been grumpy with her parents lately. There were days when she felt everyone was against her, including them. They weren't strict but they could be overprotective, overbearing, a little paranoid, not to mention embarrassing. Their love for each other was cringey, their love for her was cringey. There were times where it bothered her so much she wasn't even sure she liked them.
But she loved them so much.
"Thanks, mom." she sighs.
"Anytime, sweetie."
Much as she'd like to cut a section from the bottom so she wasn't running around the desert in her bra, she had to cut with the grain or she'd end up with a bunch of random tubes instead of a bandage. So she uses the serrated knife to tear upward, the tank top forming into long ribbons. She uses the shoulders of it to get two particularly long pieces, which she ties together before tucking one under her armpit and beginning to bandage her shoulder.
She'd wiped it well but it was still bleeding, so she wraps it quite tight, the pressure feeling oddly welcome against the wound. She uses the full length of the long piece she'd made and then ties it together with a sharp tug, knotting it at the back. That should hold until her parents come to get her. If they come to get her. She knew it hadn't even been twelve hours but the impatient side of her is genuinely worried. What if they just couldn't track her down at all?
She's left with a few random strips, so she picks one up and ties it around her head to keep the long part of her hair out of her eyes now it's getting greasier and harder to keep in place. Then she rifles through her bag for the strongest painkillers she has, pushing them into her hand and taking them with a cautious sip of water. Her stomach grumbles slightly. It's a little empty to be taking pills, but she only has Derek's stupid candy bars. She likes candy but it's not exactly the most substantial. It'll have to do for now. She breaks one in half and nibbles on it slowly, then brushes off her hands and re-applies her sunblock, wincing where her fair skin was already red and tender in some areas from getting burnt the previous day.
Having supplies made this a little more bearable somehow than just being lost with nothing. It was a tiny bit easier to focus on not getting killed when your body wasn't screaming at you in some other respect. She shuffles around with another soft whine of pain, resting against the side of the fissure and closing her eyes for a moment. She just had to make sure not to pass out here, that could be pretty dangerous.
A sharp scream suddenly cuts through the air. Sable jolts for a moment, her eyes flying open, but then drops down lower, hiding instinctively from the commotion drawing ever closer.
"Get the fuck away from me!" yells a voice she thinks she might recognise as Jack's victim. Even if she's not entirely sure, common sense would suggest it probably was, since the voice sounded female and as far as Sable knew they were the only two still alive.
There's a scrape and shuffle of rocks nearby, followed by the hard thump of someone falling to the ground. The noise doesn't abate though, a series of grunts between two people that draw her curiosity too much not to peek.
Sure enough, it was Jack and his captive, and while the latter was still putting up a pretty ferocious fight, the former had still managed to get her pinned down to the floor so that every attempted writhe away from him brought very little help, just more grazes against her skin that had her wincing along with her grunts and huffs.
"Put up a good fight, little girl..." he comments with a soft click of his tongue. "But I think you've been running long enough."
"Eat shit!" the woman screams, throwing a handful of sand directly at the eye holes of his mask. Sable winces, horrified not so much at the action but at worry for how the leader of the group would react. Sure enough, he draws his hand back and delivers a swift punch to her face that's so hard she goes limp beneath him, attempting to lift her head for a moment but then falling down, knocked out cold.
She had to do something. Was it too late to do something? The woman was alive at least, and she had a knife. She pulls it out, hand shaking as she watches, wondering whether to intervene. Jack sits up over her and pulls up a canteen from his hip, taking a large swig of water that's so ferocious she could swear the metal barely even touches his lips. She doesn't know how he's not literally drowning in it. He glances back down at the woman on the floor for a moment, putting a hand to her throat and grinning as if admiring how his knuckles look wrapped around it. Something about that... whether it was the possessive look on his face or the idea he could easily strangle her to death like this, Sable couldn't stand it.
She clambers out from her hiding spot, knife in her hand and as threatening a look as she can manage on her face. "Leave her alone." she warns, her voice and legs shaking with adrenaline. Jack looks up at her with raised brows.
"Well, what do we have here?" he asks, eyes peering over her in his mask while she holds the arm that wasn't holding the knife across barely clothed upper half. "Another little girl..."
"J-just let her go." Sable begs, drawing closer to the pair with determination. "I won't hurt you if you just let us both go." After all, a few more hours in the cave could well be enough to tide them over until her parents got here.
"That supposed to scare me?" Jack huffs, raising up from the other to his full height, illuminating how much he towered over the blonde squaring up to him, but stepping closer to her too. The change in posture seems to dizzy him a little though, his movements sloppy, almost like he's falling into them. He frowns in confusion, but perseveres. "Now if you want me to take you both, we-well—" He cuts himself off as his chin droops, his eyes suddenly unfocused.
There's a soft groan from his victim as she begins to come to from the punch... only for her assailant to crash to the floor between them. Sable smiles ever so slightly, looking up and letting out a huge sigh of relief. She was too shrewd not to put two and two together. He must have taken the water she'd discarded at the killers' camp.The poisoned water. She lets out a nervous laugh at just how close that had been, rubbing a hand over her face.
"What...?" the other on the floor across from her murmurs, looking up and seeing her, then startling, trying to crawl back several paces in shock, her expression dazed but a mix of indignant and oddly terrified.
"Hey, hey, it's just me!" Sable exclaims quickly, hands up despite the knife clutched tight in one of them. "Sable, I'm..." She chuckles nervously again. The other finally seems to calm, letting out a sigh of relief too. "I guess we never got to that part, but... I'm Sable."
"Jacqueline." Jack's victim replies, chest still rising and falling hard. Sable nods. "I'm sorry, just my vision was all blurry and for a second there I thought you were that... that annoying blonde guy." Sable looks down at herself instinctively. His pants, a headband holding back her now very messy hair, and a knife in her hand. The pink bra and considerably lighter skin are a departure, but she can see how through hazy eyes it could make the other double take.
"Oh, nope, just that annoying blonde girl." she jokes as she gets closer, eyes flicking to the side as her face flushes a degree, not having forgotten Jacqueline's compliment yesterday. "With the... striking eyes." she adds with a nervous giggle, but then swallows, pushing it aside so she can look her fellow victim over with concern. "Is everything okay, are you hurt?"
"I... I think I'm okay." Jacqueline replies. "Don't worry, you don't actually... look that much like him." she reassures. "Why... are you dressed so much like him though...?"
"Oh." Sable says with a soft chuckle, tugging at the off-white cloth around her head. "Well this is just what was left of my shirt after I had to bandage my shoulder, and these... well these are Derek's pants, I stole them while he was asleep..."
"While he was..." Jacqueline repeats, her eyes travelling to Sable's neck, where she knew there were probably a good few marks from last night. She gazes at her with some degree of sympathy, though Sable's not too sure how she feels about that when it doesn't seem necessary, exactly. "What... what did he do to you?"
"N-no, you don't have to feel sorry for me, I... I chose to do it." Sable insists. "I mean, I was already in his tent, but... but it still helped." She shakes her still mostly full water canteen, showing off her pragmatism a little, though Jacqueline looks a little confused. "I was able to get supplies and stuff—"
"Wait, you were... you were in his tent, why... would he even let you in?" the other woman questions, her tone turning to vaguely suspicious.
"Uh... it's... it's a long story involving his parents and my parents and... oh, yeah, actually my parents are coming later so... so they can get us out!" she rambles hopefully.
"I'm... sorry, you're just... I feel like you're skipping over a lot of steps here..." Jacqueline responds, shaking her head in confusion. "You... you ended up staying with... Derek last night because of... something to do with both your parents...? They know each other, or...?"
"Oh, uh, I don't think so, they've just both got quite a bit of money, y'know?" she clarifies. "I mean but... but mine are good people and I know they'll find us and help us all out!" She was once again getting the lingering sensation she could explain this so much better if she was on her meds, but she perseveres. "Me and you and this guy Tom, and uh... that grey-haired guy if he's still alive."
"He is, his name is Richard, he's the one who got me screwed over by Jack." Jacqueline interrupts bluntly, her gaze towards Sable definitely distrustful.
"Oh my god, me too!" Sable says, shaking her head in disapproval. Maybe she wasn't so fussed about saving him if he was just as bad as their captors, but it was nice to know she wasn't completely alone in that experience. "Okay, maybe we don't have to help him, but—"
"No, we should... we should still help, Sable, what...?" Jacqueline begins, swiftly cutting herself off, and staring at Sable with her brows lightly furrowed for a moment, holding a hand up presumably to stop her going off on another tangent. She inhales and exhales slowly. "Look... did you really voluntarily have sex with one of the people trying to kill us?" The way she says it... it's almost pleading. Something cold hits Sable at that moment. She can tell Jacqueline doesn't want it to be true. But she's not content to lie about it either.
"Well... yeah... but..." she stutters, a little lost for quite what the right thing to say was in this situation. "Look I didn't exactly set out to do it... b-but it's no big deal, right, I mean it was just a... a really... stupid..." Her hesitation around it definitely felt stronger after their altercation, but she wasn't sure she actually regretted it. "He's... he's not all bad..." she attempts, but it only turns Jacqueline's face from suspicious to genuinely angry.
"We watched him help rape and kill a girl, Sable!" she points out indignantly.
"I-I'm not trying to say he's not bad at all!" Sable insists, getting a little frantic at this point because she wasn't used to people just... calling her out on her behaviour like this. But then she didn't normally behave like she had been. "He's awful, I... I stabbed him! We stabbed each other!" Her hand taps close to the wound on her shoulder desperately. "Plus I... I saved Tom, a-and I saved you! I'm the one who planted the poison water!" She gestures at Jack, she had to cling to that shred of doing the right thing, in believing she was still a good person.
"Nothing about that makes you seem more trustworthy!" Jacqueline replies with a slightly frustrated huff.
"Jacqueline, please..." Sable begs desperately, well aware she was making herself sound more and more unhinged as she clung to wanting to be seen as justified in her behavior. "Look, you don't have to like me, you don't even have to trust me that much, but there's a cave not far from here, if you'll just... just come with me, one of the other survivors is there, and... and if you just wait there... I promise we'll all get out."
"I'm sorry." she replies with a shake of her head, glancing at Jack's unconscious form. "Thank you for... for helping." she concedes before looking back to her. "But... I don't. I don't trust you." Sable shakes her head too, no idea what she's even meant to do anymore. "I'm not waiting around, I'm getting out of here." she says, turning around.
"Wait, please!" Sable begs, trying to grab her arm, but she tugs it away sharply, glaring for a moment, before she catches the other woman's desperate expression and softens just a little, before turning partially away.
"For what it's worth... I do hope you don't die out here." she admits softly. "Good luck, Sable."
She turns and leaves, scaling up the rocks beside them at an alarming pace while Sable looks on, a mixture of impressed and horrified. She looks up the jagged surface and plants a foot to follow, only for pain to explode in her shoulder as she tries to haul herself up, letting out a stuttered cry that Jacqueline can't even hear, she's too far ahead. She slumps right down against the wall, clutching at her bandaged wound with a hiss of pain through her teeth.
She's got no chance scaling it in her current state, in fact there's very little she can do in her current state, she feels drained from a mixture of lack and sleep and her injury. The only thing she can really do is return to the cave to get some rest, and then go out searching all over again. She was determined to have another attempt. The guilt she now felt only spurred her on more.
"What made you wanna do this, anyway, Sabey?" her mom asks as their daughter tugs her hoodie back on, not doing the zipper up since her top actually looked nice this time. "You going somewhere?"
"Yeah... well... Jayden and me were... were just gonna go to the movies with a couple of his other friends." she explains, ruffling a hand through the back of her hair.
"Honey... you realise... Jayden's..." they reply cautiously, making it pretty clear they didn't want to be the one to break it to her if she didn't.
"Mom, I know he's gay!" she insists. It had taken a while for her to accept; in fact she blushes hard as she realises her mom probably thinks she's still into him. "He came out to me just before his parents." she points out, knowing they would have in turn mentioned it in passing to her parents, since they'd been friends since long before either of them were born. "Look, I'm not trying to... to get his attention or anything." she insists, though sometimes she felt like she wasn't completely over what she'd been feeling. "It's... this girl he hangs out with, she's... she's really into fashion, so... so I wanna look... y'know... cool."
"You got a little crush on her, sweetie?" her mom asks with a slight smile.
"No!" she insists a little too abruptly, her face flushing a little harder. "Maybe..." she concedes, feeling enough of a lack of pressure to confide it. "But... mostly it's because... sometimes she picks on another member of the group for not following that kind of thing, and I... don't want her to do that to me."
"Well... that doesn't sound very nice, Sable." her mom remarks with a frown. "Does she pick on Jayden like that?"
"A... a little." Sable admits, finally hesitating and looking at the girl's behaviour a little more critically. "You're not gonna tell his parents, are you...?" Her mom frowns for a moment.
"I don't know Sable, I kind of... feel like I should." her mom admits, looking conflicted. "But I don't want to feel like I'm breaking your trust, either, so... I think you need to decide if you'd really want to be with someone... or even be friends with someone for that matter... who treats your friends like that."
"...Oh." Sable replies, not knowing what to say about that. It was so... reasonable, but that did make her pause a little. "Guess that is... a little mean..." she admits.
"I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your life, sweetie." her mom says with a soft stroke of her shoulder, their eyes serious as they look to the side. "Me and your dad made some pretty bad decisions before finding each other, but at the end of the day..." They look back to Sable with a very slight smile. "You just have to try your best to stick with the right people, and I promise you'll be happier for it."
Hey everyone, I know it's been a while, just want to update on a couple of things!
I'm doing good, I've just been taken over by a couple of different brainrots this year, hence not being around much!
Gorekinktober - I would like to get a list together again, and I will be trying to do so. If I don't get round to it though, @sadblueslushie has done a great one here. I'm not sure if I'll be participating myself, it depends how I'm feeling by autumn, but if I do it won't be every day.
You And Me, We're Not The Same is kind of on hold for now, however I do have chapters 11&12! I just haven't gotten them uploaded! So I'll aim to get 11 up soon!
hi! i found your trick or treat list on pintrest and was wondering if you would mind if i were to make my own version of it for this year?
full credit would be to you ofc and i'd tag you in the main post and masterlist
totally ok if not!
Hi, that's totally fine, I'm so interested to see what you come up with! 😊
I'm planning to get a 2026 prompt list up in June/July again, I might not be participating much myself this year but I will certainly be very excited to see who does!
The Price Of Flesh | Explicit | Derek Goffard x Original Female Character | AO3 Version | Full Description and Chapter One
Chapter 10/16: Blood
<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter July/Aug 2026 ->
Sable knows she really just has to hold out until help arrives now and try to stay positive. Unfortunately, she's not the only one who's gotten in touch with the outside world. Note: Hi, I'm alive! Updates are going to be slow though, see end notes.
Sable yawns hard as she settles herself down on the rock beside Tom, her eyelids still feeling heavy and sore, her entire body aching.
She definitely hadn't been ready to wake up when her alarm went off, but she managed to pull herself from Derek's embrace, already not feeling so proud of ending up like that with him now that she'd sobered up a little. She supposed at the time she'd been that shaken the source of comfort didn't matter. She was still traumatised by what had happened the previous night, but at the same time she had to keep going. She focused on grabbing supplies with determination that her parents would be here for her by the end of the day. She and Tom and hopefully the other remaining victims just had to survive until then.
"I brought you some water." she offers as she lifts one of the filled canteens up, unhooking the strap of it from around her neck and handing it over to him. She did think about grabbing a couple more from the camp – aside from the one now sitting there with poisoned water in of course – and filling them, but Derek's sleep had already seemed a little more restless once the morning light was bathing the outside of the tent. She didn't think it was wise to risk heading in and out when she could just take whatever she could and run. She'd downed what she could and refilled hers, they'd just both have to ration what they had for the remainder of the time. "It should be fine, it's from the same supply I've been drinking from since last night."
"Thanks." Tom says quietly before sipping the water from the canteen hesitantly, obviously still a little wary after his experience drinking from the poisoned spot in the fissure yesterday. Sable nods softly.
"You're welcome. Oh and here." she responds, rifling through her little bag again. She'd tied the shoulder strap through the belt loops on Derek's pants after stealing them this morning, making it into a kind of makeshift fanny pack as well as a belt. He had others. Probably. Plus, it was basically his fault she couldn't wear her panties again. She'd thrown her bra and the same plain tank top from yesterday back on too, since there weren't many other options at her disposal. She hands him a pack of beef jerky that she'd found amongst Derek's food supply, which was more or less just that and sweet stuff.
"Oh... thank you!" Tom replies, taking the snack and gladly ripping into the wrapper. Sable pulls out a few more packs and places them down on the flat surface inbetween the two of them. "Don't... you want any?"
"Ohhh, no, I'm vegetarian." she explains, unwilling to compromise on that unless it got to the point where she was actually starving to death. Pretty much as soon as she realised where meat came from as a kid, she was done with it. It wasn't like she was the biggest fan anyway though. "I'm gonna be surviving on candy bars, apples, and pure spite at this point." She'd already had her last granola bar when she woke up, so at least she wasn't desperately hungry. Tom laughs slightly, but pulls the wrapper back and takes a tentative nibble. Sable pulls out one of the aforementioned apples she'd found in Derek's things and hopes it's not poisoned or something, taking a bite. It's sharp enough but doesn't seem untoward, so she shrugs and continues eating it.
"So uh... where... did you get all this stuff?" Tom asks after swallowing his first mouthful.
"Oh... well..." she replies, just as hesitant as she claimed she would be to admit it. She still felt a very odd mix of pride and shame around it, but the scales definitely tipped towards the latter. "I... I actually slept with Derek last night." she confesses. "Before I came out and found you here."
"O-oh..." Tom responds, hesitating slightly. "Sorry... what... you...?"
"Yeah, he... he had a lot of my stuff I wanted, and... well I also kind of wanted a safe place to stay for the night." she explains, though she knows in her heart none of that really accounted for actually having sex with him. "I think... well... I still hate him, but part of me wonders if he's... actually that bad underneath it all." Tom gives her a bemused frown.
"I mean... I'd... I'm pretty sure he would be classed as bad..." he says slowly, almost like he's trying to work out if it's some kind of trick question. "A-after everything yesterday..."
"I know." Sable says softly, but a part of her can't let go of the idea. "It's just... well... I think his childhood was pretty fucked up... y'know..." She didn't want to really reveal all the specifics as it felt too private, but she was adamant it made a difference. "Oh, and, and, his dad's massively homophobic!" she adds, clutching at straws for things that didn't feel as personal to give away.
"So's mine, but I don't go around killing people..." Tom replies softly, sounding more bemused by the whole thing than actually trying to argue with her.
"Oh... I'm... sorry." Sable responds. She was still oddly horrified at hearing people had that kind of opinion in 2047. "Uh... guessing you're queer too." Tom nods softly.
"Yeah... I'm gay." he responds, not quite meeting her gaze. "When you mean too, do you mean you, or...?"
"Oh, yeah, I meant me, I'm bi. Or... or pan. I don't really know, I guess I never fully picked a side." she explains. It was hard for her to see much of a difference, at least in how they pertained to her. "I prefer women, but I'm pretty sure I could fall for anyone, y'know?" Tom's fingers trace against the stone between them silently for a moment.
"Including people who kidnapped you." he can't seem to help commenting. There's a certain hint of teasing to it that brings dark humor to their bleak predicament. Sable smiles slightly.
"Hey, don't imply that I'd actually fall for him, that's a step too far." she replies with equal levity. She pauses for a moment. "Will you be okay, Tom?" she asks. "Waiting here a little longer, I mean?" He had basically used his tank top as a large bandage around his middle to stem the bleeding of the cuts from Komodo and Dragon. Fortunately none had got to the stage of getting too deep before she arrived. With the food and drink she'd brought, she imagines he could hold out pretty well here.
"Yeah, I should be." Tom agrees. "Why... are you... going somewhere again?" Sable nods slightly. It may be stupid, it may be impulsive, but she's still convinced it's the right thing to do.
"I'm gonna try and find any other survivors, bring them back here." she insists. Her dad's warning to hide hadn't been lost on her, so she was going to focus on doing it stealthily. She was fast and quiet, and she still had the knife she'd gained through the unfortunate circumstances here last night if absolutely necessary. She had to at least try and find Jack's victim, and even Machete's despite him screwing her over, even if it took some sneaking about to do it safely.
"Wow I... I don't think I could ever do that." Tom replies warily. Sable shakes her head softly. She's self-aware enough to know it was reckless, and may well be a consequence of still not knowing where Derek had hidden her ADHD meds. But she's also caught up in trying to prove to herself she's still a good person, and ultimately that impulsive desire might allow her to atone for what she did the previous night.
"I'm not asking you to." she assures, shaking her head. "You're in charge of holding down the fort." she offers to try and dissuade him from feeling in any way bad about it. She looks through the stuff in her bag to see if there's anything else she needs to give him. "Here's a bandage so you can change your shirt out for it." she suggests, not needing that as her wounds are limited to scrapes and bruises. "Oh, and here's some painkillers too, but I gotta keep some for myself because everything's hurting." She places both beside the beef jerky and pushes back up, stretching her stiff limbs.
"Take care, Sable." he says softly, some genuine concern in his tone. She could really see herself and Tom remaining friends when this was over, he seemed nice enough.
"I'll try." she responds. "Hopefully I'll be bringing back some friends for you soon." she says with a soft laugh. "See you, Tom."
"See you." he echoes, nodding at her as she turns around and heads back through the side of the piece of canvas and wandering out with slow, careful steps to look over the hills again. She was starting to feel like she was in some sort of loop here, back and forth between all these places, never quite feeling safe in any of them. The others have to be somewhere, unless... unless they're already dead of course.
No, she can't start thinking like that or she'll end up giving up altogether. Things might be bleak but she's determined to hold onto a shred of optimism. The fissure? That was a safe enough place for her yesterday. She begins to head in that direction, still feeling utterly exhausted, only to hear the all-too-familiar drone of a quad bike. She groans softly.
What was she even meant to do now, what was the protocol? Yesterday it was simple, you heard someone coming, you ran. But things were suddenly so much more complicated now. Was it weird to run away when last night she'd fallen right into his arms? Was it weird not to when he'd still claimed vehemently that he wanted to kill her the entire time?
She looks around her, but there's really nowhere to go, and the indecision leaves her dithering there even as Derek pulls up, a look of pure thunder on his face that turns her stomach. She doesn't know if it's better or worse than the gleeful sadistic grin he'd greeted her with the other times he'd caught her, but her heart says the latter.
Maybe she should have run after all.
"You..." Derek spits as he jumps off of the bike. Sable looks at him in confusion, seeing as the last time they were conscious together, they actually seemed to be getting along reasonably well, at least until he turned away from her to sleep. He quickly flicks out a pocket knife as she stumbles backwards away from him, confused. Sure, he was volatile, but she wasn't sure what reason she could have given him to suddenly seem so much angrier at her than he was yesterday. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"What... I... I don't...?" she asks, wondering if he's referring to his missing clothing. He's wearing a darker-coloured but fairly similar jacket to the one she made a considerable effort to hide, and his camo pants are a different shade too, though still far too green for the desert. Something about the shades he picked were so indicative of him being a spoilt city boy underneath it all. Was it about her taking some of his food and water, taking her own belongings back? Or could he have found out about his dead "friends" already? She doesn't really want to explain the specifics of where she'd been last night if he doesn't already know, though. "You're... the one that told me to be gone by morning..." she points out as nonchalantly as she can.
"Not that, why the hell did I get a satellite call from my dad saying I have to come home tonight because there's been a huge cyber attack on the company?" he accuses, lunging forward and grabbing a hand in the front of her tank top, twisting it and pulling her close.
"Wait, what?" she replies, her brows knotting together but her mouth wide open, shocked and confused. "I... I literally have no idea!"
"Yes you do." he hisses, knife pressing against her thigh through his own pants, but then beginning to travel up the side of her body under her shirt, the tip cool against the skin of her waist. It doesn't feel so much like a threat as being caressed with a blade, but with the face he's wearing, she can only assume it's supposed to be. "You told me you're into tech, I know you did something." Sable shakes her head insistently, only for him to stop her by tugging the knife swiftly out of the hem and bringing it up to her neck.
"Derek..." she insists, grey eyes peering over at him as genuinely as she can, desperate, because what was she supposed to even do? She obviously knew she couldn't have done anything, but he seemed convinced. "I'm an engineer, not a hacker, that's... that's not even the same skillset!" It was particularly ludicrous when she was out here with access to literally no computer whatsoever. But then... thinking about it... it wasn't like she couldn't think of anyone who could have done it.
"Tell me what you did." he growls, knife pressing so tight to her neck she knows just moving could cut her. "Because I swear to god, if you're the reason I have to cut this trip short and you don't tell me—"
"Okay, okay, I... I spoke to my dad!" she admits in a desperate whimper, because the threat really does seem genuine this time. To her surprise he actually draws the knife away a little, but the fury in his eyes is evident. Sable closes hers to get away from that look. "He's... he's in software." she finally reveals now he's given her the space to breathe. "So yeah, he... might... know some hackers." Actually he talked about knowing one of the best out there, but it was phrased as a joke, so she had no idea whether there was any truth to it. Derek stares at her, jaw clenched, and lets out an annoyed growl.
"Sable." he scolds, his tone frustrated. It's so unbearably entitled. She doesn't owe him anything. "How the fuck did you even talk to him?" he hisses, his brows still furrowed, his teeth gritted.
"You're not the only one with satellite calling..." she admits. The watch was now in her bag but out of battery, so she hoped that wouldn't make tracking her harder. Her eyes flick off to the side, but she can still see Derek scowling at her out of the corner of them. "That's... why I took my watch. But I had no idea all of that would happen, I just wanted my parents to come get me!"
"Unbelievable, first chance you get, straight home to mommy and daddy!" he snaps. "I fucking knew it, you can't do shit without them, can you?"
"You're only here because of your dad too!" Sable defends. "You wouldn't even be here without him paying your way, so don't act like you're so independent compared to me!"
"I fucking knew you did something, you have made this trip the worst one so far!" he growls, barely listening to her point.
"Oh yeah cause it was so great for me to be fucking bought by you!" Sable snaps quickly, but it seems he's not done either.
"You cannot keep your damn mouth shut about anything, can you?" he begins to rant. "I can't believe I even left you alive, you—"
"Well excuse me for wanting to fucking live!" she interrupts back, unable to control the way this man boils her fucking blood, even with a knife to her throat.
"—are the fucking worst, you have no idea, no idea how much I fucking hate you right now, I could kill—" he continues to yell, but she's not stopping either.
"We all know you'd probably call your dad if I so much as scratched you—"
"—you right now and not even care that these trips are over because at least I could shut your damn mouth—"
"—because unlike me you don't even live in the real world, you're the one who lives in some fucked up little fairytale where only you matter!"
"—and you know what, I bet your daddy is an annoying little freak like you!" he finishes. Sable slaps him clean across the face, hard. To her surprise, Derek yells out quite loud at the sudden pain as he draws away from her, clutching his cheek, his teeth gritted.
"You're an uptight little bitch." he hisses at her in complaint.
"Well you're a spoilt little manwhore." she grumbles back, still breathing heavily with anger. Their eyes lock. Before she knows what the hell is even happening, his hand shifts from his own cheek to the back of her head, pulling her in.
Kissing her.
Sable lets out an angry grunt into Derek's mouth, even as she can't quite seem to stop herself sinking into it a little, the passion of her well-justified anger feeling like it's spilling into his mouth. It only lasts a moment before she slides a hand up to his chest and pushes him back roughly .
"Why?" she asks, scowling at him for distracting her. "Why the fuck are you... why?"
"It's the only way to fucking shut you up." he insists, though there's a hint of breathiness to his otherwise malicious tone. She guesses she finds him far more tolerable in those moments too. That deep-seated heat she feels in the pit of her stomach every time they fight unfortunately comes down to him driving her crazy in two respects.
Angry at him and angry at herself for it, she growls exasperatedly, pulling him back towards her by the collar of his jacket, pressing her lips roughly against his this time. Derek lets out a soft huff that sounds like a laugh, sinking back into it, his tongue grazing against her bottom lip in a way which makes it difficult to even keep her legs still.
Maybe falling into this feeling is how she survives this, maybe clinging onto that single shred of positive feeling is how she makes it to the finish line, by running this weird race tied to Derek, fighting against each other, hating each other whilst being, unfortunately, of the same ilk in many respects. It was certainly complicated, but she doesn't really want to be parted from him just yet, either.
At least that's what she thinks as she feels the sudden, sharp agony of a sharp blade stabbing right into her left shoulder. She screams into Derek's mouth as she hears one more deep chuckle back, pulling away from him to see that unsurprisingly, he has the knife he threatened her with yesterday lodged there. Her breath catches in her throat as she stares at him in horror, like a deer in the headlights.
It's not even in that deep, yet it hurts unimaginably.
"Oh princess..." he coos darkly as he draws back to look Sable over, hand still pressed to her lower back to keep her close. He gives the knife a subtle tug upward that makes Sable absolutely shriek again, responding with a satisfied groan himself. "They're all gonna find out now, aren't they..." She was pretty sure it was the worst pain she'd ever felt in her life, every nerve ending within her feeling assaulted, only able to let out a choked wheeze in response. But her fingers act nonetheless, fumbling into her pocket. "But it was so worth it to finally see that look on your face~" She stares hard at him; he looks practically delirious at her pain, tongue running over his teeth. But there was also a chilling coldness in it. He didn't care. Right now he didn't even seem to care about the consequnces. "Since my dad's coming tonight anyway—"
He cuts himself off with a sudden yell that his voice cracks on, too taken aback to mask it.
Her brain being unable to process any other solution to the blinding pain, Sable had stabbed her knife right into his gut.
Both just stand there staring at each other for a moment in shock, their heavy breathing and whimpering at the pain oddly reminiscent of the noises scattering in the air last night.
But Sable is the one who has the strength to act, pushing him back away from her to withdraw their weapons from each other, Derek letting out another shocked scream as he stumbles back. She was pretty sure she heard in an old movie that gut wounds were more painful than they were deadly. She just has to hope shoulder wounds are just as survivable as blood begins to ooze slowly from hers, considerably less than what's gushing from Derek, even as he clutches his hand to the wound. She folds up her left arm to put pressure on her own in kind, even as it stings to do so. She doesn't feel safe to put the knife away yet, a glint of sunlight illuminating Derek's wet blood on it.
"Y-you... fucking... bitch..." he hisses as she grimaces at the sight. She can't help but feel a little guilty, even though she knows she probably shouldn't. They'd both drawn blood now, and he'd started it. Now it was like neither of them could quite parse each others' intentions. Sable feels frozen to the spot. Last night was... horrific, but the only thing she could really say about it was that none of it was intentional on her part. But this... this was with full intent. Derek seems to sense her hesitation, a twisted smile forming on his lips and a wry chuckle leaving him between his panting. "If... you were smart you'd... kill me right now." he warns in a gravelly tone, even as Sable shakes her head in horror at the suggestion. It's almost like he's coping so badly with the pain he actually wants her to. Or he just underestimates her so strongly he sees no threat in poking the bear.
If so, Sable would have to disagree with that, because she could, she could so easily do it. She's never really used any of the self defense techniques she'd been taught, but with him struggling with his injury, it would be easy enough. Run around him, grab him and press against his wound, slit his throat.
The very thought of it makes her nauseous, just how easy it could be.
"Yeah." she breathes, barely audible. "Pr-probably."
She could do it. She won't though. That's not who she is.
"Not gonna... do it... are you...?" he taunts as he stumbles forward, big talk for a man whimpering and bleeding right in front of her. His eyes look as hazy as they did under the influence of the whiskey. "My... dumb little... pri-pri..." His eyelids flutter as he collapses to the floor at her feet, still hissing in pain, still a little conscious, but very much incapacitated.
Horrified, Sable does the only thing she can think of to deal with the entire situation.
She turns and runs.
Notes: Okay, so, firstly, I did not get attacked by the writer's curse! 😅 I've just had other things on the brain, but I'm very much happy and doing okay! Updates will remain slow since I'm not actively working on this fic right now, I'm still intending to get the next one up some time in May but it might not be until the end, after that I'm not sure. I'd rather keep it slow and finish the story I wanted to when I'm ready than try to write it while checked out. 😊
Jet found himself simping and it certainly won't go awful for him-
I've been wanting to draw Michael and Jet together for a fat minute since they both are boys with long dark hair and facial piercings and this turned out so much better than I expected.
I love when doms imply there will be hell to pay if they don't get home to their brat and whatnot, as if brats aren't harmless and adorable and awesome 😌
Dude I'm so fucking gay because I'm feeling at least somewhat feminine and all of a sudden need women and femmes I rabidly need yuri straight into my fucking veins-
You know I've been thinking, cross-dimensional story that involves a red string of fate type concept, but with specific intent that while all the signs point to these two people being perfect for one another, in universal terms it's wrong, they were never supposed to meet. They were never supposed to cross paths and essentially shouldn't ever be able to know each other.
Not to give away the twist, but maybe they're the exact same person and that's why they click so well.
But by the time they realise that they've already fallen in love, and it's threatening to tear both their worlds apart.
OK I know this is one of these things where irl, people's scents are quite subtle and difficult to describe, but I just wanted to give some sort of idea of what my OCs would smell like if you were close to them.
❤️ Epiphany: A little like vanilla(ironic I know), cardamom and lavender, though it's often masked by perfumes. She favours strong floral scents and you can tell they're the most expensive ones, expertly layered up with regards to different products because she has people for that. Essentially, people who know money will know she smells of money. Often a hint of booze too though.
🧡 Phi: I've spoken about Phi on an ask before but they smell spicy, nutty and sweet. Often wears a cologne that smells of neroli and grapefruit(to finally reveal the significance of this, their late father gave them this when they came out as gender fluid), if they're feeling more femme they might wear their perfume that smells of jasmine, sea salt and champagne. They always smell nice but it's unpredictable what... though it does mean if you have a good sense of smell you can work out what pronouns are more appropriate today before they tell you!
💛 Hope: Kind of crisp and clean but sweet, like an apple. Biteable I guess! Often wears unscented deodorant because of sensory issues so you get more of a hint of this natural scent, but for nights out they wear a perfume oil. I'm going to be honest, I never know how to explain the smell of it(Vampfangs FM oil) other than "fuckable" but the site describes it as "fruity, tropical and seductive".
💚 Rahim: Woody and herby, it's very attractive and quite strong, often coming through a little despite the expensive colognes he usually wears. His favourite one costs several hundred dollars a bottle, and it's somewhat woody too, but rich, almost velvety, with hints of oud.
💙 Theo: His natural scent is very subtle; fresh, peppery and kind of green/leafy. In terms of scents he will copy whatever the main character uses; shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, body spray/perfume/cologne whatever. So essentially he smells like you!
💜 Azazel: Light and airy, but with a base note of a deeper, intoxicating, masculine scent, also something a little like feathers/down despite not really having wings anymore. Doesn't normally wear anything scented. If he's recently used his powers he might smell a little smokey, too.
🩷 Wasei: A scent that's almost a little bitter yet somehow smells really good, like olive oil and orange peel. He often lets his OF followers be in charge of what cologne or perfume he wears; he has a selection that have been sent to him. That said, being the ultimate cam brat he is, if what his viewer sent him smells like ass he's going to name and shame and throw it in the trash on camera.
🤎 Jevaun: Leathery and a little earthy, extremely stereotypically "manly". He tends to wear spicy colognes that enhance this well. Because of his active job, he's more likely than most of the others to smell of sweat but the way it mingles with his other scents makes it kind of attractive.
🩶 Leilana: A very intoxicating scent as it's one of her latent powers; a little musky with heavy notes of jasmine, rose and a hint of caramel. She never really uses any kind of scent or perfume but her own scent gets noticeably stronger if she's actively trying to seduce someone.
🤍 Tallulah: Very, very sweet, kind of like a marshmallow, with a hint of violets and something metallic. She might smell a little like grease or blood if she's been... fixing things. She has a perfume her "father" bought her which she still uses without thinking sometimes, but it doesn't smell nice, it smells cheap and plasticy and should probably be thrown away.
The Price Of Flesh | Explicit | Derek Goffard x Original Female Character | AO3 Version | Full Description and Chapter One
Chapter 9/16: Heroes
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Sable has to deal with the consequences of what she's done one way or another. She's still trying her best to focus on the positives... but it does get her thinking.
This was the darkest side of trying to do the right thing Sable could possibly fathom.
She supposes she should have buried the corpses, but she didn't really know how to do that without anything to dig with. So she'd just wrapped them up together in a large piece of the fabric she'd used the knife to tear from the side of the cave, leaving enough to still cover the entrance. It was still awful having to deal with dragging dead bodies around, but this actually might be one of few safe hiding places they had, and the other victim was basically trapped in there for now, even though he had still been barely moving when she left, so she had to keep it at least somewhat sanitary.
The air was cold now, the wind whipping around her bare ankles and calves harshly. She was going to have to retreat back to shelter one way or another, even if she wasn't ready to sleep. She pauses, looking back down towards the camp, but decides she should check on the guy one more time first, lifting the canvas to creep in again.
"Hey..." she says quietly as she re-enters, not necessarily expecting a response just yet, but it seems polite seeing as he seemed able to hear her before she left.
"...Hi." comes a quiet reply. Sable smiles softly.
"Oh, you... you can talk now." she comments as she approaches the slab. The man she'd saved was bleeding but the multiple cuts seemed fairly superficial, testament to his assailants' talk of going slow. He nods softly, rolling onto his side, his movements still shaky and seeming to take a lot of his energy.
"Yeah I... I can move a little." he confirms, gazing up at her. "There was this water in the fissure... I think they might have poisoned it." Sable's eyes widen slightly in realisation, glancing down at the canteen at her side, the one that she had filled there earlier. For want of a nail, she could have so easily been in that position herself... but with no-one coming in and unintentionally saving her. Hell, she could have drank it in the open and got burned to a crisp or found by Jack or Machete. She shudders.
"Shit, I... I nearly drank some too." she explains, horrified at the implications. "Easy... mistake to make, I guess..." she adds sheepishly in an attempt to reassure the other nonetheless. He gives her a slight smile back, reaching up a still slightly limp arm to push his glasses on a little better. "At least it seems to be wearing off."
"Yeah." he agrees. "I... might be stuck here for a while, though."
"Yeah it... looks like it..." Sable replies, looking at the state he's in. "At least in here you're pretty well hidden." She glances around and then back to the makeshift entrance. "Maybe only those two knew about this place." The man nods in response.
"So... do you want to just wait here?" he asks, trying to shuffle backwards a little to make space so she can sit. Although it would seem safe enough to sleep here, something is pulling Sable away.
"Hmm..." she replies, trying to think rationally about this, though it's not the easiest at present. "Well, my parents should be coming to help, but I don't know how long they'll be." They had to get all the way here from Illinois and pinpoint where exactly in this desert they were with dubious signal to her watch, that could take some time.
"Your parents?" he asks curiously. Sable nods.
"Derek stole my watch, but I managed to get it back." she explains. "I have full satellite calling on there." A smile twitches at her lips. "They'll find me, I know what my dad's like." She gives a soft, serious sigh. "But I don't want anyone to die of thirst or anything in the meantime, so... I'm gonna do what I can to get us some supplies." Half of it wouldn't even be stealing. Just taking back what was hers. The other captive seems reluctant, but then eventually nods in resignation.
"Yeah, you're... you're probably right." he agrees. "Oh and uh... thank you, by the way. For saving me..."
"Oh, yeah, of course." Sable assures. Of course, she could have done more, intercepted sooner, but equally, she could have not investigated the glow, she could have made a mistep and lost her own life... so much could have gone differently that she doesn't really consider it heroic. "It was... kind of an accident, but... I am glad your alive." She had to focus on the fact that a good person was alive, if it could justify the deaths of two who were out to do them both harm.
"I'm... Tom, by the way." he introduces. "What... what about you?"
"I'm Sable." she replies, giving him a slight smile. It made her feel better talking to someone after that. Someone normal. She hoped she could get everyone out alive. Saving Tom had given her a taste of protecting someone, and though the circumstances were horrific, something about that made her feel good, too. "Do you want to keep this?" she suggests, pulling the bloodied knife out of an inner jacket pocket. The other victim shakes his head warily.
"N-no, I... I don't think I'd even have the guts to use it..." he admits. "I'll just hide if I hear someone coming, I... think it's wearing off a little." With a soft groan, he manages to push himself up a little more, sitting sideways on the stone. Sable nods, gnawing at her lip a little.
"You'll be OK, then?" she checks. She couldn't live with going back to Derek's tent knowing she'd left him alone if anything happened.
"Yeah I... I think I'll be able to get around soon, I'm pretty sure." he insists. His expression though, is still a tad worried. Luckily Sable's always been relatively good at raising people's spirits.
"You're doing great, Tom." she reassures with her calmest smile, giving him a nod of acknowledgement.
"Oh... uh..." he mumbles, as she wonders if she's made him uncomfortable, but then a smile breaks across his face too. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, uh... I really should head back now but... but I'll try and get supplies and I'll try and get the others here safe, I'll... I'll see you tomorrow." Tom nods softly. "See you, Tom."
"B-bye." he replies, shifting his legs up to sit fully then waving her goodbye. She hopes he'll survive without any kind of weapon to protect him. He was right that it wasn't a difficult area to hide in, at least. Besides, they were probably both right about only Komodo and Dragon knowing of it.
As she heads down the hill, she feels different. Her legs feel heavy, not from tiredness, but from the emotional weight on her shoulders of everything that had happened. She may not have directly killed either of them, but they died because of her. But then, Tom would have almost certainly died without her, and he was the innocent victim of whatever they were trying to do. What was she supposed to have done, what was the right thing? Was there any world where she could have reasoned with them, any at all? She suspected it would be a long time before she stopped replaying how horrific it was.
She shivers as she walks, even in Derek's jacket; the night was growing a lot colder now, the sky a deepening black. It was a good job she was confident in the route back from the hill to the camp because one slip up and she could so easily get lost out here, the vast expanse of sand and sky and stars all looking the same whichever way she looked.
As she draws closer to the camp, she sees the empty canteens she'd strewn around, and she remembered what Tom said about the water she still had stashed on her. It was a good job she hadn't taken an absent-minded sip at any point. Horrified, she slips the strap off her shoulder and tosses it to the floor, grabbing a couple of the empty ones she'd found earlier in exchange. She clutches them close so she remembers to fill them, heading back down the secluded path that led to the area Derek had set up camp.
He still appears to be fast asleep when she creeps back into the tent – which she still considers far more luxurious than it needs to be – and steps inside. She zips it back up behind her, immediately heading over to the water cylinder, dispensing it very slowly into the first canteen so it won't make too much noise, then the second. It overflows slightly onto her bloodied hands, so she grabs it carefully and takes a precautionary sip. At least if there was something wrong with it she'd pass out here and not out in the open. It seems completely fine though, so she screws the lids on tightly, placing them down on the floor nearby.
It wouldn't seem that suspicious if Derek spotted them; for all he knew, she could have just popped out to the camp to pick them up then came straight back to fill them. The jacket, though... the front was completely stained with blood, if he saw that, it would become pretty unambiguous that something significant had happened, and she just didn't want to have to get into that in any respect. She unbuttons it and tugs it off, wiping any remaining traces of blood and dirt that should have been shifted by the spilled water against the collar before pulling her watch from the pocket.
She begins looking for a place to hide it and spots a bag she can only assume is for the tent, as it's the same colour and material. If she hides it in there, he'll get it back, just not until the end of the trip, by which time she should be long gone. Not that she should really be worrying about returning his things when he was such an awful person, but she was a good person, and she was convinced she wasn't going to stoop to his level. She crouches down and pulls it closer, feeling that there's something else inside. She doubts it's practical things for the construction; this is some fancy fold out tent that from the looks of it that didn't require dozens of ropes and pegs. Derek might have had to bury some sandbags or something to keep it in place, but that would have been about it. She begins to open the zipper carefully, only to immediately glimpse familiar baby pink. Her bag.
It appeared great and not-so-great minds thought alike in some respects.
Elated, she pulls it out, looking through. The strap was cut where it had likely been pulled off quickly after the auction, but the bag itself appeared intact, rifled through but still fairly full. She begins her own search through; her other granola bar is in there, along with her passport, but she knew that from Derek alluding to the fact she'd shortened her name. The majority of her pills are in there too, although the Adderall was notably absent. As she'd suspected with the necklace, it seemed letting on that something was important to her would only be more likely to get him to want to take it from her.
She's keeping hold of her bag now she's found it, she's insistent on that, but she's not going to be able to stash the jacket here because he'll probably check. But glancing at Derek's sleeping form, she pulls the knife out from the pocket, and wipes that on it too, slipping it into the bag. She finds one of the far corners of the tent that's slightly drooped towards the ground, lifting the fabric and wedging the bloodied jacket in there, covering it carefully. Yet another place he wouldn't see it until he came to leave, hopefully.
She brings the bag back towards the makeshift bed with her though, kneeling down and slipping it under the air mattress, placing the watch on the pillow on her side. Sighing, she shuffles back the covers so she can get back onto the bed, kneeling and stripping off the tank top. For reasons best known to herself her eyes catch on Derek's sleeping form as she does it, and suddenly she's imagining blue-green eyes focused on her as she removes it in slow, teasing strokes. Hands on her; helping, touching...
Perturbed, she shakes her head to rid herself of the lewd fantasy, pulling off her now practically ruined underwear too. She'd have to think of something to replace those in the morning. Her final action before she can allow herself to lie down is to set an alarm on her watch for four and a half hours from now, placing it down on the pillow. He wanted her gone by morning; well she didn't know when he would wake up but she was going to do her best to be long gone, hopefully with some supplies in tow.
His holdalls appear to have locks so weapons or clothes might be a stretch but there has to be something of use, surely. She slips back into bed, turned away from Derek, and pulls the covers right up to her neck, something within her finally relaxing, relenting, and with that... she cries.
Cries for the first time since she got dragged out here, cries silent but hard, her shoulders shaking as ugly sobs contort her face and send thick rivers of warm liquid from her eyes and down her face, dampening the pillow beneath her. Because it's too much. It's all too much.
Because she was doing everything, absolutely everything in her power to stay afloat, and yes, maybe she was succeeding in swimming against the tide, but it didn't mean she wasn't also drowning. There are so many emotions going on that she's too overwhelmed to pick out what a single one even is, she can barely think or reason through everything that's occurred, all she really knows is that it's been a lot.
For the first time in a very long time, she feels an odd desire to be small again. Small enough to nestle into the crook of her mom's arm in her first proper bed. It was old, cheap wood, a little creaky, but her mom had painted it baby blue with little rainbows and clouds and a big yellow sun shining in the middle. That sun shone down on her even when there were clouds over her little brain.
"But daddy would give me one more story!" she complains, pushing her face against the side of her mom's chest with vaguely grumpy little noises.
"Sable, your dad would say exactly what I would, we're a team." her mom insists firmly, sounding a little frazzled by their daughter's continual pushing. "I let you have one more already, you really do need to sleep now."
"Hmph..." Sable replies, knowing she probably won't win that one and kind of wishing grown-ups didn't back each other up like that. "I still don't wanna go bed before daddy gess home..." she complains.
"I know, baby." her mom sighs, their hand stroking against their daughter's arm. "I find it really hard to sleep without him here too."
"Daddy doesn't even get back before YOU go sleep?" Sable asks, looking up at them with eyes wide.
"He's... meant to, but the company he works for keeps making him stay late recently." they explain, shaking their head.
"How do you go sleep without daddy?" she asks. She knows sometimes when she creeps into mommy and daddy's room in the morning they're often cuddled together asleep. She has to wriggle in-between to wake them. Her mom pauses for a moment, thoughtful.
"I have lots of things that help me sleep, Sabey." they reply, reaching to hold her hand. "But... I did think of this new one recently that's helped a lot."
"Ooh, what is it?" Sable asks, paying close attention. Because the truth is, she isn't ever truly trying to stay awake, it's just... her brain lights up with a million thoughts and questions and it's like she has to get them all out.
"Okay, so, right before I go to sleep, I think of one thing I'm excited about for tomorrow." her mom explains. "Even if it's really little, like... ooh, I bought a few of the canned coffees I really like today, and I'm gonna have one as soon as I wake up."
"Excited?" Sable repeats, thinking to herself for a moment. "Do I have daycare tomorrow?"
"Uh, yeah, for a little bit in the morning, daddy will need sleep if they keep him late and I have a client I have to see." her mom explains.
"Okay then... slide at daycare!" Sable decides.
"That's cute Sabey-baby." they say with a smile, giving her a kiss on the forehead and one last squeeze before sliding out from under the covers of the little bed to sit beside her, lingering for a moment. They look a lot sleepier than Sable feels. "Try and think of that, OK? Night night sweetie pie."
"Night mommy." Sable says as she rolls onto her side, even though she still doesn't really feel tired. Her mom tucks the covers around her carefully, smiling down at her. "Mommy?" she asks. "If you like the coffee, why don't you just have it every day?" Her mom pauses, then leans down and plants a kiss on her forehead, pausing for a moment.
"I was just... trying not to drink them for a while baby, it doesn't matter now." they explain, not fully looking at her. "Plus, those ones have gotten really expensive, and we're saving our money to buy a house."
"We wouldn't live in our partment anymore?" she asks. Her mom lets out a soft chuckle at her phasing.
"No baby, not in our apartment." they reply. "We just want somewhere a little bigger, maybe with a yard you can run around in."
"A yard!" Sable repeats excitedly. She only half-knew what that was, she guessed like the outside part at daycare, but anything new was exciting to her. "How much money do you need? How much money for a house?" Her mom looks a little taken aback by the questions but also amused. "Don't you and daddy get money from your work?" she continues before they can even answer.
"We do sweetie, but... my work's never really been full time, and your dad... well he doesn't make quite as much right now as he did at his... old job." her mom says, pushing her hair back.
"He used to make more?" Sable asks. "Can't he just go do his old job and make more again?"
"Not... right now, baby." her mom says, looking off to the side again. "See, your dad decided what he was doing before just wasn't going to work anymore. He had some big realisation about it... it was just after you were born and he was holding you and it was... just you and him."
"You weren't there?" Sable asks. "Jus' me and daddy?" She never really remembers a time where mommy wasn't in her life. But then she doesn't remember much at all yet.
"No baby, I wasn't there." her mom agrees. "But your dad told me all about it. He said he had this... moment, where he just knew he wasn't just some guy anymore. He was a dad and he had to do right by you."
"Do... right by me?" Sable asks, her little brain curious but confused by the expression. "What's that's mean mommy?" Her mom smiles, then thinks for a moment, chewing on their lip.
"Uh... well... if daddy was in one of your cartoons, would you want him to be a good guy or a bad guy?" they ask.
"A good guy!" Sable pipes up, bringing her fists up under the covers to do the tiniest little air punches. Bad guys had cool costumes. But... the good guys always won.
"Right." her mom agrees with a soft laugh. "So daddy could make a lot of money being... a liiiiitle bit of a bad guy, but... he's trying to stick to being a good guy right now, OK?"
"Ohhhhh!" Sable replies. She doesn't fully understand it. But... knowing her dad is a hero is good enough for her.
Sable was well aware that as one of her earliest memories, she was probably making up parts of that conversation, maybe even blending bits and pieces of different conversations, but it had to at least resemble what actually happened somewhat. She had used her mom's little trick a lot when she was young, but somehow as she got older and sleep got a little easier, she didn't refer back to it as much. This was her first time really thinking about that moment, about her mom's specific wording, as an adult who could read between the lines. An adult who knows full well her dad makes plenty of money now.
She was obviously aware that her parents had a past, the two of them made enough jokes about it. But she had always just assumed that meant sleeping around, maybe taking a few too many drugs, not anything heavily illegal or... maybe even completely morally reprehensible. She'd never straight up asked about that, because she just saw them as good people. What if one or both of them had slipped back into that?
Because they weren't always rich, were they? Not back then. The second hand bed, the battered old car, expensive things always being a "special treat". Her mom and dad's wedding was another treasured early memory that felt magical through the lens of nostalgia, but looking back at photos, it was pretty small. She was always fed and clothed and she remembers their apartment being nice, but even with her mom working with some pretty high profile people, they weren't able to have the big house and the fancy groceries and the nice vacations until she was a little older.
But then... that was after her dad's company got big. Of course that was when everything changed, her whole world did.
Maybe in some respects, the whole world did.
She flips over under the covers and scowls at the scorpion on Derek's back as she realises it's all his fault. He's getting into her head with all his bullshit about her dad being the auctioneer. Her dad was about the sweetest guy she knew; to her, to her mom, to his friends, to everyone, really. Her eyes catch on a rough, raised area of the tattoo illuminated in the small amount of moonlight filtering through sections of the tent. She can't help but reach out a hand to touch it, tentative at first, but once he doesn't react she feels over it a little more firmly. It feels like some form of scarring, pretty bad at that.
Belligerent and no doubt unintentionally self-destructive as he was, that wasn't the sort of injury one sustained easily from picking fights with people, nor was it something he could really have done to himself. They felt pretty long-healed, too. So it gets Sable theorising about how else it could have happened. His siblings were all younger than him which ruled them out somewhat, though not entirely. That stepmom he hated, or one of the others? Or... his dad? If that were the case... no wonder he'd projected so much negativity on hers.
She hates that she feels the cause is sympathetic regardless. She shouldn't be sympathising with him in any regard, because plenty of people had childhoods much rougher than his and didn't become murderers. But... he still didn't deserve to be hurt in the first place, no-one would. If he'd been a child at the time, even more so, that horrifies her. Is he more sympathetic than he lets on, or... is she just trying to twist him into a good person because she likes some aspects of him?
Although Derek doesn't fully stir, he twitches at the more defined touch, his shoulders shifting, almost like a flinch. She quickly slides away apologetically, resting her hand against his lower back instead, fingertips brushing softly against the line where his spine sits. His skin is so smooth and warm under her hand after being out in the cool night air. She guesses by that token hers must be cold to him. As if proving her concerns, he lets out a soft sound and rolls over, Sable freezing right up as his arm is thrown on top of her and a good deal of the space she had from him us removed.
"Sorry..." she whispers somewhat involuntarily, looking at the limb sprawled over her. Not really able to just leave it there, she shifts up herself, tucking it under her neck and moving a little closer. She knew it was probably unwise, but there was something instinctive to the way she shifted towards that sheer physical warmth after the shitty time she'd had alone out there. Derek stirs again at that, but this time he doesn't move his body, just wraps the rest of his arm around her back, and to her surprise, pulls her close.
The fact his eyelids are still fully closed, his lips slightly parted but no taunting words or smug smiles upon them, makes it clear his behaviour too is the result of instinctive, barely conscious actions. Sable sighs, closing her eyes, and allows herself to lean into it, her head resting against his chest as she feels her tiredness begin to envelop her as the warmth does.
Shared darkness but for that enduring hint of the moonlight, and soft skin against her cheek. That same scent of him that she couldn't help but find intoxicating earlier. Barely audible heartbeat, slow, steady breathing. Human. There was no predator or prey at this moment. Just two damaged creatures nestled together.
She still can't stand him.
But right now, after what she's seen tonight, she can't stand to be alone so much more.
Notes: So as I expected, I'm going to see how updates every 3-4 weeks goes 😊 I still might struggle to keep up but overall, I'm expecting to have it finished by the end of summer as I tend to get a reasonable amount of writing time then.
